Ocean Jokes

I dreamed I drowned in an ocean made of orange soda. When I woke I realized it was just a Fanta sea.

I once had a dream that I was swimming in an ocean of carbonated orange juice. Thankfully it was just a fanta sea.

What's the difference between a buoy and my ex girlfriend? A buoy can be found above the ocean's surface.

So my girlfriend got a new tattoo...... Of a seashell located on her inner thigh, and the best part is if you place your ear next to it you can smell the ocean.

A Life Guard is walking along a beach A Life Guard is walking along a beach when she sees a man splashing around feverishly in the ocean. "Help, shark! Help!" he cries.

The Life guard laughs, because she knows the shark will never help that man.

Why did the hippie drown in the ocean? He was too far out.

I dropped my laptop in the middle of the ocean A dell must be rolling in the deep

My wife recently got a seashell tattooed on her thigh. When you put your ear close to it, you can really smell the ocean.

My girlfriend has a tattoo of a conch shell on her inner thigh. When I put my ear to it, I can smell the ocean.

It's not the size of the ship, nor the motion of the ocean... It's whether or not the captain stays in port long enough for all the passengers to get off.

There are three men in a boat in the middle of the ocean with four cigarettes, no lighter or any matches. What do they do? They throw one of the cigarettes overboard and the whole boat becomes a cigarette lighter.

My girlfriend has a tattoo of a sea shell on her inner thigh.



If you put your ear to it, I swear you could smell the ocean.

Swimming in the Ocean I while back I was sitting on a beach in Mexico watching this guy in the ocean screaming "HELP SHARK, HELP!" I just laughed, I knew that shark wasn't going to help him.

I used to think an ocean of soda existed. Turns out it was just Fanta sea.

*Fantastic Ocean Life Facts* The Blue Whale is by far the world's largest animal... ...it's so big in fact that if you laid it out on a basketball court, the game would be over and the whale would die.

What shakes and sits at the bottom of the ocean? A nervous wreck.

My Ex had a tattoo of a seashell on her inner thigh If you put your ear to it you could smell the ocean.

What sits at the bottom of the ocean and shakes? A nervous wreck!

There are more airplanes in the ocean than submarines in the sky

My girlfriend has a seashell tattooed on her inner thigh. If you put your ear to it, you can smell the ocean.

Where are you only allowed to swim if you have red hair, a lip piercing, three brothers, a missing finger, are slightly overweight and have a birthday in december? The specific ocean.

A woman is walking along a beach when she sees a man splashing around feverishly in the ocean. "Help, shark! Help!" he cries.



The woman laughs, because she knows the shark will never help that man.

Did you know there are more planes in the ocean.. Than submarines in the sky?

Why is the bottom of the ocean so dark? Black people can't swim.

A father and son go fishing... Son: Dad, what do we do first?

Father: We get this clickbait here and we throw it into the ocean.

Son: Then what happens?

Father: What happens next will shock you.

One of my dad's favorites about flying "You know there are more planes at the bottom of the ocean than submarines in the sky. They have never left one up there."

Why is the ocean so salty? The land never waves back.

So I dragged off this girl from the bar the other night... She had this cool tattoo of a seashell on her inner thigh. Damnedest thing, though! When I put my ear to it, I could smell the ocean.

Why is the ocean salty? Because the land never waves back.

I looked at the ocean today, and thought it looked completely orange... And so then I wondered if it was reality or a Fanta sea.

Trump and Hillary fall into an ocean. Who will be saved? America.

If a fish died in the ocean... ...does it become a marine corpse?

What was the real reason the Titanic broke in two as it sunk into the ocean? TO SHOW YOU THE POWER OF FLEX SEAL, I SAWED THIS BOAT IN HALF!!!

Why is the ocean so unknown? Because it has many sea crits.

what do you call a crab who will do anything to survive in the ocean? a shell out

What does Cardi B and the ocean have in common? Both are filled with trash, and may knock men out.

My 7 yr old told me to tell you this joke... So you are in an ocean.

Sorrounded by sharks.

How do you escape?

"Tell the sharks that you are a fisherman 🦈"

Ha ha ha ha ...


He does not know what downvotes are but I'll keep his words ❤️

Report: Ocean weather pattern weakens hurricane Matthew and spares damage during US landfall Meteorologists have decided to name the weather pattern "Sean Paul", as it had the right temperature to shelter us from the storm.

California is just too far left, for my tastes. I mean c'mon, the Pacific Ocean is right there.