Feminist Jokes

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Funniest Feminist Jokes

Funny Feminist Jokes

Why did the feminist fail algebra? She couldn't solve inequalities

A feminist and a Muslim walk into a bar. - comedy removed due to complaints -

What's the difference between a feminist and a gun? A gun has only one trigger.

Little girl: "Mommy, I want to be a feminist when I grow up." Mom: "Well pick one sweetie, you can't do both."

What's the difference between a feminist and a suicide vest? A suicide vest gets something accomplished when triggered.

What is the difference between a feminist and a hockey player? A hockey player showers after three periods!^I^will^see^myself^out^now

How do you confuse a feminist Tell her you won't let her make a sandwich for you because she is female

Edit: thanks I came back seeing a lot of upvote. This made my day

Snake: *hissssssssss* Feminist snake: \*herrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr\*

"Dad, I want to be a feminist when I grow up." Dad: "Well choose one honey, you can't do both".

Why do feminist picnics suck? Because no one ever makes sandwiches.

Whats the difference between a feminist and a baby? At some point in its life, the baby will stop crying and grow up


edit: if you're a feminist and you're here to downvote the post and all the comments, that just gives more truth to the joke.

What's the difference between a feminist and a computer? You can punch information into a computer.

What's the difference between a feminist and a suicide vest? A suicide vest does something when it's triggered.

What's the difference between a feminist and a suicide vest? A suicide vest actually accomplishes something when it's triggered.

A feminist asked me how I view lesbians Apparently 'HD' wasn't the right answer

How many feminist does it take to change a lightbulb? Don't be silly, feminist can't change anything.

Why did the feminist refuse to work at the post office? Because it was a mail dominated industry

What's the difference between a feminist and a gun? A gun actually does something when it's triggered.

A vegan, feminist and a famous rapper walk in a bar I only knew because they told me 10 times.

What's the difference between a feminist and a gun? A gun only has one trigger.

Angry feminist told me that men are animals, men are pigs! So I told her that women are equal to men.

A feminist told me I really need to take a Women's Studies class. I told her "There is no way I'm going to spend a semester studying a broad."

Why didn't the feminist get a job at the post office? Because she refused to work in a mail dominated industry.

What's the difference between a feminist and a bomb vest? The bomb vest actually does something when triggered.

How did the feminist die? Alone

What's the difference between a feminist and a suicide vest? A suicide vest actually accomplishes something after it's triggered.

What went wrong with the feminist picnic? No one made the sandwiches

A feminist group asked me how I view lesbians. Apparently "in HD" wasn't the right answer.

what's the difference between a subtraction sign and a feminist a subtraction sign actually makes a difference

Why was the feminist picnic cancelled? Because nobody made sandwiches.

I accidentally said Hello to a feminist the other day. The court trial starts tomorrow.

What's more useless than a Gender Studies degree? the feminist holding it

What do you call a happy cow? Laughing stock.

What do you call a grumpy cow?

A Feminist

Feminist have invented a new form of birth control that kills any sperm with a Y chromosome. It's called sonblock.



First joke on here. Came up with that while camping this past weekend.

What's the difference between a feminist and a spear? The spear has a point.

My wife and I are both feminist But, as a man, I'm just a bit better at it.

What's the difference between a feminist and a suicide bomber's vest? When triggered, a suicide bomber's vest actually accomplishes something.

What's the difference between a feminist and bomb vest? The vest actually accomplishes something after it gets triggered.

I said hi to a feminist the other day My trial starts next week.

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New Feminist Jokes

What happens when you assign a feminist a scientific classifier? You get nomenclature.

What is a fisherman doing at a feminist meeting? Waiting for the bus.

A feminist and a gentleman went on a date They both insist on walking each other home.

What is the difference between a feminist and a bomb? The bomb accomplishes something when its triggered

A feminist worked with some thieves. What did she do? Money laundering

I'm having a martini to celebrate International Men's day. I was reliably informed by several feminist friends that International Men's day is 365 days of the year, so I've decided to make the most of it.

Chuck Noris went to a feminist rally... He came back with his shirt ironed, holding a sandwich.

A militant feminist said to me, "What are the first four letters in 'malevolent'?" So I said, "What's the first letter in 'unpleasant'?"

What’s the difference between a feminist and a knife? A knife has a point

What’s the difference between a feminist and a gun? You can silence a gun

A man typed "wemen are the best" in a feminist group chat One female said: thanks but it is spelled with "o" not "e" after the "w"

The man said: sorry i forgot to press space after the "we"

Do you know why it's called the "menstrual cycle"? Because female problems tend to start with "men".

Edit: I'm not a feminist or taking a dig at men. Just making a joke. Also, I'm a man.

Normal snake: Hissss Feminist snake: Herrrr

Feminist and comedy are like anti-vaxxers and children. You don't mix the two

Where does a feminist go to the bathroom? She just leaves it in her blog posts.

What's the difference between a feminist and a suicide bomber's vest? The vest actually accomplishes something when triggered.

Sticks and stones may break my bones But there will always be a way to offend a feminist

What's different between a feminist and a knife? A knife has a point, and actually does something.

What's the difference between a feminist and a grenade? Grenade actually accomplish something when it triggers.

What's the difference between a feminist and a baby? A baby will learn to grow up and stop complaining.

What do you call a transphobic feminist on a boogie board? Surfin' TERF

What genre does a movie on the Feminist movement belong to? Period drama.

What’s the difference between a feminist and a suicide vest a suicide vest actaully accomplishes things when’s it’s triggered

A vegan, a feminist and an atheist walk into a bar. How do you know this? They all told you

A couple is on holiday in another country. They are getting on a bus together. The husband tells the wife: \- See? In this bus there's a gamer, a feminist and a vegan.

\- So... What makes you think you know that?

\- They already told me!

An atheist, a vegan, and a feminist walked into a bar. How did I know?

They all admitted it within 5 minutes of being here.

What is the battle cry of the Feminist wing of the Communist Party? Seize the means of re-production!

Chuck Norris went to a feminist gathering... And came back with well ironed shirt and a lunch box.

(offensive) What’s the difference between a feminist and a knife? The knife has a point

What's the difference between a feminist and a baby? The baby eventually grows up and stops crying.

What's the difference between a feminist and a needle ? A needle has a point.

What is the difference between a feminist and a landmine? When a landmine is triggered it actually accomplishes something

How does a feminist deliver items? She femails them

What’s the difference between a feminist and a spear? The spear actually has a point

What’s the difference between a feminist and a knife? A knife actually has a point

Where does a rich feminist live? In a man-shun.

What’s the difference between a feminist and a land mine? When the land mine is triggered, it accomplishes something

My dad is a feminist "Just your dad? How about your mum?"

"Oh he doesn't allow that"

How do you make a feminist happy? You don't

Said Hi to a feminist today! My court case begins tomorrow

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Long Feminist Jokes

I was talking to a feminist today when she told me about the “Dwayne Johnson Rule.”

I’d never heard of it before but apparently in order to determine if a particular comment is appropriate to say to a woman, you should first ask yourself, “Would I be comfortable saying this to Dwayne Johnson?” If not, don’t say it.

I thought this sounded like a great rule, so I told her, “Your chest is epic.”

A feminist visited a Muslim country and was unhappy with the treatment of women there...

All of the Muslim men made their wives walk at least five feet behind them. The visiting feminist was outraged, "How could you be so sexist? This is an outrage!"


She left the country, only to return years later. Much to her surprise, all of the women were walking five feet *ahead* of their husbands. The feminist couldn't believe it. "What changed? Why are you so progressive now?" One of the men overheard and said with a smile... "land mines."

A radical feminist is getting on a bus when, just in front of her, a man gets up...

A radical feminist is getting on a bus when, just in front of her, a man gets up from his seat.
She thinks to herself, "Here's another man trying to keep up the customs of a patriarchal society by offering a poor, defenceless woman his seat," and she pushes him back onto the seat.
A few minutes later, the man tries to get up again. She is insulted again and refuses to let him up.
Finally, the man says, "Look, lady, you've got to let me get up. I'm two miles past my stop already."

The district manager sent an email to the general manager.

It said "I'd like you to promote that one pretty girl with the good personality, I can't remember her name. I was very impressed by her work ethic. She seemed humble but extremely capable."

The general manager was confused as to which girl the district manager meant because there were two girls that worked at the store. So he called both girls, Sarah and Tracy, over and said "The big boss says I'm supposed to promote one of you." Both girls immediately asked who he was going to pick.

The general manager said "Well, he said to promote the pretty one."
Sarah said " Well that could be either of us really."
Tracy, obviously disgruntled, said " I'm a feminist and I find that offensive."

The general manager turned to Sarah and said "Congratulations on your promotion."

A man walking along a beach finds a lamp

When he rubs it, out pops a female genie. The genie says "I am the feminist genie. While I do have to grant your wishes exactly as you ask, I sense that you are divorced. Therefore, no matter what you wish for will be also given to your ex wife in double the amount."

The man ponders his situation for a moment and says "Build me a 20 room mansion."
"Done!" says the genie "and your ex wife now has a 40 room mansion"

"Put 10 million dollars in my bank account" requests the man.
"As you wish" exclaimed the genie "and at the same time I have given your ex wife 20 million dollars"

"Awesome.", said the man. "Now listen carefully..."
"Yes?" Said the genie leaning in closer. The man smiled and whispered:


"Beat me half to death"

A feminist and a linguist walk into a bar

They sit down and begin a conversation.

The linguist asks, "Do you have any siblings?"

The feminist replies, "Yes, I have a sister. I'm very close with she."

The linguist, confused, tries to correct her. "Don't you mean 'with her'?"

The feminist is outraged and screams, "Stop objectifying women!"

Its disgusting how often women are subjected to sexism in todays society...

One of my feminist friends managed to get herself a new job recently, and literally the first thing her misogynist pig boss asked her to do was to make him a sandwich! Naturally my friend took a stand and quit on the spot, she's even talking about boycotting the entire company.

Fucking Subway...

Feminists need to learn spelling

So yesterday, I was walking down the street when a girl claiming to be a feminist handed me this flyer. It said, "PUT A WOMEN IN THE WHITE HOUSE".
I looked up at her confused and walked away.

That was an odd way to spell kitchen...

Feminists on the moon

My psychiatrists believed I was a pathological offensive joke teller. To prove it to me they brought in a bunch of feminists and asked me to tell a joke that wouldn't offend them. So I came up with this.

"What do you call a feminist on the moon?"
"We don't know," says one of the feminists.
"A problem," I reply.
The feminists looked unamused at my answer.

"What do you call 10 feminists on the moon?"
No reply.
"A problem."

"What do you call 100 feminists on the moon?"
Again, no reply.
"A problem."

"What do you call 10 000 feminists on the moon?"
This time the feminists looked like they were starting to understand the joke.

"A problem," replies the feminists in the middle, "because the world needs every single feminist," she explains.

I give no reply
"What do you call all the feminists on the moon"
The feminists look eager to hear the next line.
"Problem solved"

A trucker stops to pick up a hitchhiking pastor one afternoon...

He pulled up with the windows down. "Where ya headed?"

"Springfield." The trucker motioned for him to hop in. "Thanks, brother! Bless you." He'd been driving all night and planned to stop in Springfield anyway for some shut eye.

After some time, they passed a billboard advertising a feminist rally 2 miles ahead.

The trucker was utterly intolerant of feminism. He was seething with rage and the urge to start cussin' was heavy, but then he remembered the pastor.

The trucker looked ahead and saw a woman with a picket sign who was walking on the side of the road. He thought that if he acted like he dozed off, then the pastor wouldn't suspect any intention to run her over from behind.

When the truck was within a few hundred yards, the trucker shut his eyes and slouched a bit trying to guide the truck in her direction.

Suddenly, there was a loud thump!

The trucker immediately jumped up. "DID I HIT HER!?"

"No, but you got close enough for me to open the door."

An egoist, a feminist and a Socialist walk into a bar...

An egotist, a feminist, and a Socialist walk into a bar.
The bartender overheard their conversation about politics and sarcastically said, "You guys would be great presidential candidates." They took him seriously...

...apparently America did too.

A French, British, and Saudi wives are swept by the feminist movement.

All three agree to protest by not doing any work at home and teach their husbands a lesson, hoping that they will gain more respect and appreciation.

After one week they meet up and share their results:

The French wife says "I told him i'm not going to cook this entire week. The first day i didn't see anything. The second day i didn't see anything. The third day he started cooking and made some fancy meals"

The British wife says "I told him i'm not going to be cleaning this entire week. The first day i didn't see anything. The second day i didn't see anything. The third day he started washing and cleaning. The house was spotless."

The Saudi wife says "I told him i won't be doing anything around the house this entire week. The first day i didn't see anything. The second day i didn't see anything. The third day i started to see a little bit with my left eye."

There was this panel at a feminist congress in New York.

It was about men doing nothing to help with the work at home. The first woman to speak was from Germany. She said:
"Last month I said to my Heinrich 'Heinrich, I am sick of ironing the suits you need for work. If you want them ironed, iron them yourself.' On the first day afterwards I didn't see a thing. On the second day I still didn't see a thing and I became a little worried. But on the third, what do I see then? Heinrich stands there and irons his suits." She got thundering applause for this.
The next woman was from Scotland: "Two weeks ago I was sick and tired of Nigel not cleaning up his mess. So I stopped doing it and told him that, if he wanted to live in a clean flat, he had to clean up his own mess. On the first day after that I saw nothing. On the second day I still saw nothing. But on the third day Nigel actually cleaned up his own mess." She, too, got thundering applause.
The next woman to speak was from Iran: "A year ago I told my Ahmahd that he had to cook his own food if ever wanted to eat again. On the first day after that I saw nothing. On the second day I still saw nothing. On the third still I saw nothing. But on the fourth day I started to see a little bit through my left eye..."

Moroccan couscous joke

There's a feminist rally going on where women take turns discussing the positive changes they've accomplished.
First lady stands up and says: "I told my husband, if he wanted his clothes ironed, he'd have to iron them himself." And the crowd starts cheering.
She says: "First day I didn't see anything, second day I still didn't see anything, and finally on the third day he started ironing his clothes." The crowd cheers wildly.

Second lady stands up and says: "I told my husband, if he wanted clean clothes, he'd have to wash them himself." The crowd cheers. She says: "First day I didn't see anything, second day still nothing, and finally on the third day he started washing his clothes." Crowd continues cheering.

A moroccan lady wearing shades stands up and says:"I told my husband, if he wanted couscous then he would have to cook it himself." The crowd goes nuts. "First day I didn't see anything, second day still nothing, third day I could start seeing a bit out of my left eye."

Sexist UFO

A strange disk appeared in the sky. It would hover over groups of women and whistle. Whenever a man would approach it would fly away and hover over another group of women and whistle. The headline in a feminist paper read: Object Defying Women.

A recently divorced, retired ballplayer moves into a new apartment.

As he's moving his things in, he stumbles across an old oil lamp left by the previous tenant. He polishes it up with an old jersey, and out pops a genie.

"I will grant you three wishes," says the genie, "but there's a catch. You see, I'm a feminist genie. Whatever you wish for, I will bestow doubly upon your ex-wife."

The ex-ballplayer thinks for a bit. "Well, I never really got my break in the big leagues, so I never got the chance to make the big money. How about 500 million dollars?"

"Granted," says the genie. "Keep in mind that your ex-wife has now joined the Forbes list of billionaires. What is your next wish?"

"Well, this apartment's kind of cramped," says the ballplayer. "How about a 10,000 square foot mansion in the Hamptons?"

"Sure thing," says the genie. "Keep in mind, your ex-wife will be in the 20,000 square foot mansion right down the block. What's your last wish?"

"See that baseball bat?" asks the ballplayer. "I want you to pick it up and beat me half to death with it."

I’m not like other 14 year old girls.

I don’t vape or do drugs. I hate make up. I don’t wear a dress unless forced to. My go to outfit is jeans and a T-shirt. I love The Office. I am a feminist and am tying to save the sea turtles. But more importantly I’m 13.

A very old, feminist king wanted to get his daughter married

All he wanted was for her to be happy. That's why to every pretender he said :

"Go on an adventure with my daughter, and find the deepest hole in the country. If we can find water at the bottom, I'll let you marry my daughter. "

One day, a boy who was very much in love with the princess dared to ask why the long quest, to what the king answered :

"It's because I want to be sure you get a long well !"

A Philosopher, a Optimist, a Pessimist, a Realist, and a feminist all walk into a bar...

The Philosopher is drinking his beer.

He gets to the middle of the glass.

"Hmm...this bugs me. Is the glass half empty, or half full?"

The Optimist smiles and says,
"Oh please, the glass is half full!"

The Pessimist frowns and says,
"Uh, no. The glass is clearly half empty."

The Realist starts to think and says,
"Well you see, if the glass was filled, then emptied, it would be half empty. If it was empty, and it was filled, it would be half full."

The Philosopher takes all the advice given, but hasn't heard from the feminist. So he asks her thoughts on the matter.

"Well, all of you are very wrong!" The Feminist exclaimed, "The glass is clearly being raped."

Moroccan joke

There's a feminist convention going on where women are talking about what they've accomplished with their SO.

A lady stands up and says "I told my husband that if he wanted clean clothes, he'd have to wash them himself, after the first day, i didn't see anything, second day, still nothing, and third day he started washing his own clothes." The whole crowd starts cheering.

Second lady stands up and says "I told my husband that if he wanted his dishes cleaned, he'd have to clean them himself, first day I didn't see anything, second day still nothing, and the third day I saw that he started washing some plates." The crowd cheers even more.

Moroccan lady with shades stands up and says "i told my husband that if he wanted couscous, he'd have to cook it himself, first day I didn't see anything, second day still nothing, third day I could start seeing a bit out of my left eye."

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