Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? Because he uses only the highest-quality ingredients.
How do you turn a Fox into an Elephant? Marry her.
What does the Fox say? We're canceling all of your favorite shows.
I have the eyes of a hawk, the heart of a lion, the ears of a fox And a lifetime ban from the zoo.
A black man, a Muslim, and a Communist walk into a bar...
The bartender says, "Hello, Mr. President!"
Courtesy of my Fox News-watching mom...
Dear Fox News.....
I have yet to see any news about foxes.
Sincerely, Disappointed viewer.....
How do you turn a fox into a elephant? You marry her!
I have the eyes of a hawk, the ears of a fox… and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
Why does Michael J Fox make the best milkshakes? Because he uses the best ingredients.
I saw Michael J. Fox in a gardening centre the other day... He had his back to the fuchsia.
James Bond walks into a bar...
James Bond walks into a bar.
Michael J. Fox is the bartender.
James Bond says "I'll have a martini."
He does not need to specify.
A fox, a wolf and a weasel all go to a restaurant.
The waitress comes over and asks what they want to drink.
"Water" says the Fox,
"Coffee" growls the Wolf,
And "Pop!" Goes the Weasel!
Two blondes are in the woods looking at a set of tracks.
"They're wolf tracks," says the first.
"No way! Those are fox tracks!" Exclaims the second.
The two fight back and forth so loud they didn't hear the train coming.
Fox News has determined the cause of the recent plane crash. It was the left wing.
How do you turn a fox into a whale? Marry her.
"Mom, turn on FOX. I want to hear the news." You'll have to pick one or the other.
What's the difference between a dog and a fox? About 6 beers.
How do you kill a 1 legged fox? Make him run across Canada. (sorry)
"What earthquake?" ~ Michael J. Fox
How do you turn a fox into a cow? Marry it
how come Michael J. Fox can make such good milkshakes? because he is rich and can afford high quality ingredients!..
How do you turn a fox into an elephant? Marry it.
Black man kills conservative politician! The final Fox News spin on Osama's death.
What does the Fox say? not the news
What do you get when you cast Michael J. Fox as Walter White? Shaking Bad.
What do you do when you find Michael J. Fox in your hot tub? .....Add your laundry.
Canadian Joke: How was Terry Fox like Hitler? He couldn't finish a race either.
How do you turn a fox into a cow? Marry her
What's the difference between a dog and a fox? About six beers.
How do you turn a fox into a hippo? marry it
How do you turn a Fox into and Elephant? You Marry it.
FOX new has saved my legs! I got into a terridle car crash and and lost the use of my legs. When I was in the hospital, FOX news came on the TV. I got up to change the channel.
What do you call Michael J. Fox spinning around in a chair? A fidget spinner
Facebook and basic cable Reading Facebook feels like I'm watching basic cable in a hotel: All I want is Comedy Central, but all I can find is the Food Network, workout infomercials and Fox News.
I met Michael J Fox yesterday... I was going to shake his hand but remembered it does that on its own.
Bill O'Reilly not returning to Fox You can't explain that
How to turn a fox into an elephant... ... You marry it.
How do you turn a fox into a whale? You marry her.
What can turn a fox into an elephant? A marriage certificate.
What happens when you spend your days drinking Mt. Dew while watching FOX News? Truth decay
What do brunettes and Democrats have in common? No chance of working for Fox News
There's a country named after Swiper the Fox. Unfortunately, Dora and Boots said "Swiper, no swiping." Oman
What kind of Fox is most at risk from Covid 19? Micheal J. Because hand shakes are dangerous.
Michael J Fox grabs a soda...
His friend says: “You never drink those.”
Michael replies: “I just figured I’d shake things up”
I shook hands with Michael J Fox earlier. Took 2 hours.
Why do Michael J Fox and Taylor Swift have in common? They both shake it off.
What kind of beer do Fox News analysts drink? Roger Ales.
My girlfriend warned me the first time I stayed over that, she likes to fall asleep to white noise Turns out she meant leaving the TV on Fox News
I thought I saw Michael J Fox in a garden centre the other day I can’t be sure though, he had his back to the fuchsias.
What do you call Michael J. Fox on a merry-go-round? A fidget spinner.
Michael J. Fox asks 007 if he would like a martini. 007 smiles and says yes. The end.
Why does President Trump only drink liquor made by Fox News? Everything else is fake booze.
what's the difference between a dog and a fox? 2 shots of tequila
What's the difference between a fox and a dog? A six-pack and three hours.
How does Michael J. Fox bake cookies? By using only the finest ingredients.
What gets smaller and smaller while it sits in a corner? Michael J Fox holding a cheese grater
Good thing that Michael J. Fox doesn't also suffer from Hayfever. He's married to Tracy Pollan.
Roger Ailes passing is another attempt by Fox news to distract from trump/russia Now that's *deadication*
Called my doctor about hearing loss, he asked me what were the symptoms. I told him it was a show on Fox about an abusive alcoholic father, but that's hardly relevant.
What is Michael J. Fox's archenemy? An Etch-A-Sketch.
Life can be frustrating.... More frustrating than having Micheal J. Fox across the table from you during an Ouija board session.
Did you hear about Bill O'Reilly?
"He got fired from Fox News today"
I carpool with Michael. J. Fox. Whenever he drives, I feel like royalty. By royalty, I mean Princess Diana.
I can only think of one thing worse than Trump with his finger on the nuclear trigger. Micheal J Fox with his finger on the nuclear trigger.
Pepsi: Well THAT was the PR nightmare of the century.
Fox News: Hold my beer.
United Airlines: Jinx, owe me a Coke?
Pepsi: For reals?
Sean Spicer: Make it a double.
There's a new The President show on Comedy Central starting the 27th about Donald Trump We can just watch Fox News until then.
Michael J Fox was arrested for shoplifting yesterday Serves him right, trying to steal that tambourine
What do you call a vegan actress? Vegan Fox
I heard Michael J. Fox is getting his own cooking show... The show is called, "Shake and Bake".
How do you draw a scatter plot? You give the pen to michel j fox
I used to be a big fan of Michael J Fox... ...but his latest performances have been a little shaky.
How does Michael J. Fox deal with his Parkinson's disease? He just shakes it off.
The cable news networks tend to cater to different groups Fox News is for right wings, MSNBC is for left wings, and CNN is for plane wings.