Musician Jokes

Contents

Funniest Musician Jokes

If Al Gore tried his hand as a musician, his album would be called... **Algorithms.**

Girlfriend thought of this while doing dishes earlier.... I could hear her laughing to herself in the other room for almost 10 minutes.

Score: 1600

What's the difference between a rock musician and a jazz musician? A rock musician plays 3 chords for 20,000 people, and a jazz musician plays 20,000 chords for 3 people

Score: 1178

People told Beethoven he could not be a musician because he was deaf. He didn't listen though.

Score: 851

How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic? You take the pizza delivery sign off

Score: 640

A young child says to his mother, "Mom, when I grow up I'd like to be a musician." She replies, "Well honey, you know you can't do both."

Score: 262

A young child says to his mother... "Mom, when I'm a grown-up I want to be a musician." She replies, "Well honey, you know you can't be both."

Score: 141
Funny Musician Jokes
Score: 138

What's the difference between a musician & a park bench? A park bench can support a family of 4

Score: 136

Why the musician sold his computer... Not enough gigs.

Score: 118

What's the easiest way to pay a musician? Open the door, hand him the cash and take the pizza

Score: 113

What does a rock artist say to a jazz musician? To the airport please

Score: 91

What's the difference between a pizza and a musician? A pizza can feed a family of four.

Score: 90

How do you get a musician off your porch? Pay for the pizza.

Score: 74

What should you do when a musician comes to your door? Pay him and take your pizza.

Score: 68

My friend is so rich He thought Manual labor was a Spanish musician

Score: 66

Being an aspiring musician is like getting a contract with Verizon. 10 gigs for $80 a month

Score: 65

Why did the musician give his daughters the same name? So he could yell "Anna 1, Anna 2!"

Score: 55

Why was the musician arrested? He fingered A Minor.

Score: 54

What's the quickest way to get a musician off your front porch? Tip him for the pizza.

Score: 47

How do you get a musician off of your porch? You pay for the pizza.

Score: 46

What's the difference between a Blues musician and a Jazz musician? A blues musician plays 3 chords to audiences of thousands.

A jazz musician plays thousands of chords to audiences of 3

Score: 40

Two people are walking down the street...... One is a musician. The other doesnt have any money either.

Score: 39

What do you call a musician who's been dumped by his girlfriend? Homeless!

Score: 38

What do you call a dead musician? A decomposer.

Score: 37

Did you hear about the musician who played through the silent part of a song? He was charged with resisting a rest

Score: 36

As a musician, I hate the key of E minor. It gives me the E-B-G-Bs.

Score: 36

What do you call a musician without a girlfriend? Homeless

Score: 35

Someone told me I couldn't be a musician because I'm deaf. But I didn't listen to them.

Score: 33

What's the difference between a musician and a park bench? A park bench can support your family.

Score: 32

What do you call a musician with no girlfriend? Homeless.

Score: 31

What's the difference between a classical musician and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of five.

Score: 6

Did you hear about the classical musician who couldn't find work? He was Baroque.

Score: 5

What did the stoner musician hit me on the head with? A blunt instrument

Score: 4

What do you call a communist hip-hop musician? MC Hammer and Sickle.

Score: 3

My attempt to travel to North Korea to become a popular jazz musician failed. Turns out they've got no Seoul.

Score: 3

What did the musician say when their track was very long? This song goes as far as the I can sing.

Score: 3

The jazz musician appreciated his wife allowing him to have extra practice time with his band... ...It was ragtime.

Score: 3

What do you call a jazz musician who doesn't have a girlfriend? A homeless person.

Score: 3

How can you tell apart a computer scientist and an aspiring musician? Ask them what 'unsigned' means.

Score: 2

Who is chickens’ favorite classical musician? Bach.

Score: 2

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New Musician Jokes

The sound of a musician on the stage bounces off the auditorium walls to surround the audience. A pigeon with a twig on a stage... Doesn't because a coo sticks

Score: 0

What do you call an insane musician? Instru-mental

Score: 1

What do you call a women-assaulting jazz musician? A sax offender.

Score: 1

What did the musician say to the bully who said he would beat him over the head with his own guitar ? “ you know I feel like that’s a fret.”

Score: 1

What is a jazz musician that got kicked out of the catholic church? Sax-communicated.

Score: 2

Why did the musician's wife yell at him? Because he went Chopin but forgot the Liszt, so he went Bach home.

Score: 1

What do you call a classical musician who never marries? A bach-ler.

Score: 1

What is the difference between a jazz musician and a rock star A rock star plays three chords for an audience of thousands: the jazz musician plays thousands of chords for a audience of three.

Score: 1

What a musician favo(u)rite snack? Quavers.

Score: 1

A party was held for current and former actors where you had to come as your favourite musician. When Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked what he was going to wear, his response was I'll be Bach

Score: 1

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