Asian Jokes

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Funniest Asian Jokes

Funny Asian Jokes
Score: 22308

My boss fired me for making too many Asian jokes It was the end of my Korea

Score: 5254

My friend that only dates Asian girls just started dating his ex-girlfriend again And I don't know if I should tell him.

Score: 1373

I lose my White friends in the snow, I lose my Black friends at night, I lose my Asian friends in the sand, where do I lose my Arab friends? In an explosion.

Score: 1214

My Asian roommate says I have schizophrenia. Jokes on him, I don't have a roommate.

Score: 982

I was holding a door open for this asian guy and he said "sank you". I punched him square in the jaw, how dare he bring up pearl harbour like that.

Score: 958

How do you blindfold an Asian woman? Put a windshield in front of her.

Score: 839

A white guy, a black guy, an Indian, an Asian women and a girl in a wheel chair walk into a bar They are celebrating being on the cover of a middle school math book

Score: 650

I think my entire family is racist. I was dating an Asian woman and eventually brought her to my home to meet my family

My wife and kids didn't even want to talk to me.

Score: 634

Why can't Asian couples have Caucasian babies? Because two Wongs don't make a white.

Score: 548

Asian Keanu Asian Keanu arrives at party.

Asian Keanu gets bored.

Asian Keanu Reeves.

Score: 402

My boss fired me for making too many Asian jokes. It was the end of my Korea.

I'm still China find another job.

Score: 385

Kim Jong-un of North Korea has said he's going to destroy America So Trump was livid saying "That's MY job, and I'm not going to just stand by and see an Asian snatch away another American job."

Score: 326

I threw an Asian man down a flight of stairs. It was Wong on so many levels

Score: 311

I met an Asian girl today with the last name of "China" It was her made-in name

Score: 303

What do you call an Asian lady with one leg longer than the other?? Irene

Score: 270

A wise Asian man once said.... If a dog is barking, you know it's undercooked

Score: 223

Asian keanu Asian Keanu arrives at a party

Asian Keanu gets bored

Asian keanu Reeves

Score: 203

I had a race with an Asian today It was a Thai

Score: 198

On meeting Donald Trump, Kim Jon Un says “I will destroy America...” Trump replies, “No way, that’s my job. I won’t have another asian stealing an American job.”

Score: 189

My asian parents are actually very supportive of my career path They let me pick which medical school I'm going to

Score: 159

My boss fired me for making too many Asian jokes. I feel like this is the end of my Korea. I am still China find a job.

Score: 151

I ordered an Asian Hooker, she arrived 2 hours late She loves me wrong time.

Score: 151

I just held the door open for an Asian guy. He said, "Sank you," so I punched him in the face. I can't believe he brought up Pearl Harbor like that.

Score: 150

How can you tell the difference between Japanese people and other Asian people? Use a Geiger counter

*Credit: my friend who has a lot of dark humour

Score: 139

I like my women like I like my ramen noodles Hot, cheap, and Asian

Score: 135

What do you call an Asian in an elevator Wong on so many levels

Score: 133

I was born to an Asian family But it was rough, the doctors had to perform a C section.

My dad slapped me at birth for not getting an A+ section.

Score: 131

What is another name for an Asian assassin? Chinese takeout

Score: 127

I asked my Asian girlfriend for 69 She made me crunchy sweet and sour pork with double rice

Score: 122

As an Asian man, I have always wanted to know how it felt to be black. Today I finally accomplished that goal. I sneezed and watched every one walk to the other side of the street.

Score: 118

How do you blind an Asian woman? Put a windshield in front of her.

Score: 109

An asian asks for help at an airport... Asian: "why is my plane late? It said it would be here at 6:30."

Airplane help guy: "fluctuations."

Asian: "fluck you americans too."

Score: 105

How do you make an Asian Blind? you put a windshield in front of them

Score: 98

“I’m black and I’m proud!” “I’m proud to be a black man!” Said the black man

“I’m proud to be an Asian man!” Said the Asian man

“I’m proud to be a white man!” Said the racist

Score: 93

What does Asian Matthew Mcconaughey want for dinner? All rice, all rice, all rice

Score: 90

What do asian cannibals eat? "rawmen"

Score: 89
Score: 85

So earlier I held the door for an Asian guy... He said "Sank you" ...so I punched him. I couldn't believe he brought up Pearl Harbor like that.

Score: 85

Don't be racist. It doesn't matter if you're black, asian or normal!

Score: 80

Marriage is like having your favorite meal every day... At first, it's great! But after a week, you're thinking, "Eh, I kinda feel like having Asian tonight."

Score: 76

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New Asian Jokes

What are some good Asian stereo types? I like Sony and Yamaha.

Score: 24

I just opened my first Middle Eastern/ Asian fusion restaurant. It’s called “Wok like an Egyptian”

Score: 5

What do you call weed you bought from a southeast Asian dictator on 4chan? /Pol/ pot

Score: 2

School is like a boner, it’s long and hard Unless you’re an asian

Score: 2

What do you say to someone who threw an Asian guy down the stairs? That is Wong on so many levels.

Score: 3

which Asian country do neckbeards love the most M'laysia

Score: 22

I'm proud to be a Asian descent, with my family name Chao. When we have family gatherings… It's completely Chaos!

Score: 5

I played my Asian friend in Tic Tac Toe It was a Thai.

Score: 6

I never understood why white folks are called caucasian! Shouldn't asian men be called that ?

Score: 2

What is white, black and Asian A panda

Score: 4

Not all asian stereotypes are bad, for example... Sony and Yamaha are pretty good.

Score: 24

Me, practicing my comedy routine and my favorite Central Asian sport simultaneously *\*crickets\**

Score: 2

What do you call an Asian woman who's always in the right place at the right time? Tai-ming.

Score: 13

There's a new Asian cookbook out... It's called 101 Ways to Wok Your Dog.

Score: 4

What do you call an Asian behind a camera? Phil Ming

Score: 15

I realized why I can't get an Asian girlfriend They really are smart

Score: 11

A midget, a fat man, and an Asian walk into a bar... ...it’s Kim jong un

Score: 3

What do you need if you’re wanting to cook Asian bear meat? A panda

Score: 2

I pushed an Asian man down the stairs It was Wong on so many levels

Score: 2

What do you call an asian girl with only one leg? Irene

Score: 5

Whoever says Asian men have small dicks is wrong! I knew this Vietnamese banker, and he had a lot of dong

Score: 3

Just be thankful COVID-19 wasn't instead named East Asian Respiratory Syndrome. "Dude, don't touch her. She has EARS!"

Score: 3

How long is an Asian name More specifically, it’s Vietnamese/ Chinese

Score: 5

What do you call a blond Asian girl? Sumting Wong

Score: 2

How Long is an Asian guy That wasn't a question

Score: 3

What do you call it when you make asian food in the jungle? Taking a Wok on the wild side.

Score: 7

China has over 20,000 cases of coronavirus and now there's a new outbreak of birdflu... I guess you could say it's an Asian Contagion Sensation.

Score: 2

Corona came out with a new beer It's some kind of Asian ale

Score: 3

Why didn’t the Asian student smoke weed? He was busy doing meth.

Score: 2

How Long is an Asian man’s name. Hint: It’s not a question.

Score: 33

I've opened up a new restaurant named 'Karma' We serve Asian cuisine starting at $8.99

Karma doesn't give you any punchlines

Score: 3

When it comes to technology, Asian countries really do have Europe and America beat. We’re living in 2019 while they’re already a decade ahead!

Score: 3

Who's the fastest at multiplying? An Asian rabbit!

Score: 1

What do you call an angry Asian man? Fu ming.

Score: 3

A man enters a bar only for Asians... The bouncer asks "What kind of Asian are you?"

The man answers "I am Caucasian"

Score: 2

Asian guy goes into bank to check on his million dollars!!! Asian: why do I only have 999 900 dollars instead of 1 million dollars

Bank teller: Fluctuations

Asian: Fluck you too.

Score: 9

Anyone want to make a donation to my new non-profit that helps struggling children in asian countries? It's called youth-in-asia.

Score: 2

What is an Asian persons drug of choice? Mathamphetamine

Score: 2

What's the worst part about sleeping with an Asian woman? In an hour you'll be horny again

Score: 2

My asian aunt's quiet daughter is called Nosai Hai.

I think thats a great shy niece name.

Score: 5

What do you call Asian Cardi-B Cardi-A

Score: 2

What is the Asian equivalent of John Doe? Hu Dat

Score: 57

I’ve had some problems lately, so I decided to turn to alternative treatments. I’m pinning my hopes on that Asian thing, you know, with the needles? Ah yeah. Heroin.

Score: 5

Why did the Asian mom scream at the paper Because there was a b on it

Score: 2

What's the name of an Asian photographer? Phil Ming

Score: 6

If you're Asian when you go into the toilet, and you're Asian when you leave the toilet, what are you when you were in the toilet? European

Score: 5

What's the heaviest asian dish? _Wonton_ soup

Score: 3

Why did the Asian guy have his kid vaccinated? Because it's cheaper than a funeral.

Score: 9

Why did Hitler go to Asian spas ? Because he loved ethnic cleansing.

Score: 2

My boss fired me for hr reasons. He said I made too many Asian jokes about their dialect. It was the end of my Korea. I'm still China another job.

Score: 3

Why don’t Asian people like bowling? Because to them it’s bowring.

Score: 2

An Asian man goes to see an eye doctor. After the exam the doctor says,”You have a cataract.”
Asian man says”No, I have a Rincoln Continental.”

Score: 3

Origin of the word asian Me: Bro, it's summer break. Why are you still studying
Ming: I must get A for my exams or I'll bring dishonor to my family
Me: Just because you're Asian? Besides, exams aren't even close. Let's hang out.
Ming: ASIAN WITHOUT A IS SIN

Score: 4

Whenever I tell people that I'm half asian they look so surprised They just can't tell by looking at my face

Score: 3

When an Asian child get a B instead of A in their test. Asian parents : "Don't call yourself an Asian, you're Bsibn now"

Score: 2

Asian man goes to the eye doctor. Doctor says"You have a cateract." Asian man says "No, I have a rincoln continental."

Score: 57

My Asian buddy married a white girl and they had 3 kids, but they all looked like him. His wife wanted another one, hopeful it would look like her, so I had to sit them down and explain... ...two Wong's don't make a white.

Score: 2

I know Kung-Fu, Taekwondo, Jujitsu... ...and 12 other Asian words.

Score: 3

A white guy, a black guy, an Indian, an Asian woman and a girl in a wheelchair walk into a bar. Just kidding, the girl is in a wheelchair.

Score: 3

I just started dating a half Asian girl Her Mom's Korean, her Dad's Korean, and she lost her legs in a horrible car accident.

Score: 24

What do you call an eighteen year old asian prostitute?? Sum Yung Ho

Score: 10

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