What's the difference between a lobster and a Chinese man who's been run over by a bus? One's a crustacean, the other's a crushed Asian.
My boss fired me for making too many Asian jokes It was the end of my Korea
I once thought I had a Japanese friend. But it was just my imagine Asian.
My friend that only dates Asian girls just started dating his ex-girlfriend again And I don't know if I should tell him.
I lose my White friends in the snow, I lose my Black friends at night, I lose my Asian friends in the sand, where do I lose my Arab friends? In an explosion.
How do you make a Chinese man no longer Asian? Just spin him around in circles until he's disoriented
My Asian roommate says I have schizophrenia. Jokes on him, I don't have a roommate.
I was holding a door open for this asian guy and he said "sank you". I punched him square in the jaw, how dare he bring up pearl harbour like that.
How do you blindfold an Asian woman? Put a windshield in front of her.
Lying in bed, my girlfriend turned to me and said
"You're a lot like a math exam."
I replied "Why? Because I'm long and hard?"
She said, "No, I'm cheating on you with an Asian."
A white guy, a black guy, an Indian, an Asian women and a girl in a wheel chair walk into a bar They are celebrating being on the cover of a middle school math book
I think my entire family is racist.
I was dating an Asian woman and eventually brought her to my home to meet my family
My wife and kids didn't even want to talk to me.
Why can't Asian couples have Caucasian babies? Because two Wongs don't make a white.
Asian Keanu arrives at party.
Asian Keanu gets bored.
Asian Keanu Reeves.
My boss fired me for making too many Asian jokes.
It was the end of my Korea.
I'm still China find another job.
I threw an Asian man down a flight of stairs. It was Wong on so many levels
I met an Asian girl today with the last name of "China" It was her made-in name
So I tried Colgate for the first time.. was not impressed-
The tube said 'Guaranteed whiteness in 3 brushes". 3 brushes later, I'm still Asian.
(Speaking of still Asians, my grandma's a quadriplegic. She's a pretty still Asian)
What do you call a black asian? Thai-rone.
What do you call an Asian lady with one leg longer than the other?? Irene
Don't buy Colgate whitening toothpaste!
It says guaranteed whiteness in 14 days.
It's been 2 weeks and I'm still Asian.
A wise Asian man once said.... If a dog is barking, you know it's undercooked
When I was a kid, I thought I had a Chinese friend but turn out, it was nothing more than just my imagine asian.
Asian Keanu arrives at a party
Asian Keanu gets bored
Asian keanu Reeves
I had a race with an Asian today It was a Thai
On meeting Donald Trump, Kim Jon Un says “I will destroy America...” Trump replies, “No way, that’s my job. I won’t have another asian stealing an American job.”
My asian parents are actually very supportive of my career path They let me pick which medical school I'm going to
I ordered an Asian Hooker, she arrived 2 hours late She loves me wrong time.
My boss fired me for making too many Asian jokes. I feel like this is the end of my Korea. I am still China find a job.
How can you tell the difference between Japanese people and other Asian people?
Use a Geiger counter
*Credit: my friend who has a lot of dark humour
I like my women like I like my ramen noodles Hot, cheap, and Asian
I was born to an Asian family
But it was rough, the doctors had to perform a C section.
My dad slapped me at birth for not getting an A+ section.
An asian asks for help at an airport...
Asian: "why is my plane late? It said it would be here at 6:30."
Airplane help guy: "fluctuations."
Asian: "fluck you americans too."
“I’m black and I’m proud!”
“I’m proud to be a black man!” Said the black man
“I’m proud to be an Asian man!” Said the Asian man
“I’m proud to be a white man!” Said the racist
Flight back home
Guy was boarding a plane to go back home from a business trip.
As he was boarding another passenger asks him: "our flight looks full what do you think they will do??"
The Asian man flying back home says "beats me"
What do you call an asian marksman? Precise Lee
Why did the Asian pilot get arrested at the airport? TSA thought he said he was going to "pirate" the plane.
I held a door open for an Asian guy
and he said "sank you" so i punched him in the face. Serves him right for bringing up Pearl Harbor like that.
PS: Happy 4th of July
An Asian girl's last name was China... It was her made-in name
Considering how bad Asian drivers are... I'm starting to think Pearl Harbor was an accident.
My doctor told me that I had Hepatitis B When I told my Asian dad, he said, "Why you no get Hepatitis A?"
What do you call a lonely south-asian man? Lone Lee
What's black, white, red and Asian? The red panda
I've been so stressed, I decided to finally try that Asian relaxing technique with the needles. Heroin
Lots of Asian women are turning into good drivers, So if you’re a good driver; watch out for asian women turning!
How does an Asian noodle say goodbye Chow main
Why don't Asian couples have Caucasian children? Because two Wongs don't make a white.
Met a 16 year old Asian girl last night. Her name was Tu Yung
'I'm proud to be a black man'
'I'm proud to be a black man!' Says the black man.
'Im proud to be an Asian man!' Said the Asian man.
'Im proud to be a white man!' Said the racist.
An Asian couple is in bed
And the husband, making an effort to spice things up, says "We do #69 now"!
And the wife says, "Why you want Beef and Broccoli"?
A man calls the police station to report a house robbery
Man: an Asian man just broke into my house and took my wife's jewelry!
Operator: how do you know he is Asian?
Man: he's still trying to back out of my driveway!
What did the Asian man say to his wife when the hospital nursery tried to send them home with a blonde hair, blue-eye baby? Hmmm... two Wongs don't make a white.
The Asian man got bad news from his eye doctor
The doctor told him he had a cataract.
The Asian man replied, "No I dwive a Wincoln!"
What's an Asian cannibal's favorite food? Ramen
What do you call an Asian man with correct change? Exact Lee
An Asian man decides to move to Manhattan to start a business, but when he gets to New York there are no high rise buildings. Where is he? Rong Island.
What do you call an Asian man who always has correct change? Exact Lee
what do you call an Asian man who always has a correct change ? Exact Lee
An Asian couple had an albino baby. Just goes to show, 2 Wongs can make a white.
My dad who has a really thick Asian accent just asked me.. Did you see the white *super racist* riot in Virginia? He was trying to say **supremacist**. Honestly, he wasn't wrong tho.
Held the door open for an Asian kid He said sank you. Punched that kid in the face can't believe he'd bring up Pearl Harbor
What do United Airlines and an Asian restaurant have in common? Chinese take out.
My Asian friend hooked up a computer keyboard to a bunch of speakers I guess that's stereotyping isn't it...
How do you get the Asian out of a China man? Spin him around until he's disoriented.
Why do you never see any Asian soccer players? Because when they get a corner they build a shop.
What do you call an asian with no eyes? Asan
I lost my white friend in the snow, I lost my black friend in the dark, I lost my Asian friend in the sand, I lost my Muslim friend in an explosion.
If nothing is faster than the speed of light Why did I see that Asian lady turn before I saw her blinker
An Asian lady walks into a bank
She is trying to exchange yen for sterling.
She rants at the cashier " yesterday I get 200 pounds for 1 yen, today I only get 180, why is this? ".
The cashier replies " fluctuations ",
the lady replies " fluck you white people too".
9/10 Asian doctors have cataracts........ The other has a Rincoln
What does an Asian call their pet lion? Ryan
Which is the best Asian food, Vietnamese or Chinese? It's a Thai.
Sushi ...the rolls-rice of Asian seafood
Why do Asian parents want their children to have high grades? Because they're Asian, not Bsian nor Csian.
What do you call white people pushing a car up a hill?
What do you call asian people pushing a car up a hill?
What do you call mexicans pushing a car up a hill?
Grand theft auto.
Asian people are pretty cool If only they could see that..
If you ever get your phone wet, put it in a bag of rice It will attract an Asian, who will then fix it.
What did the asian parents say to their son the before a test?
I don't know if this joke is original or not.
How does an Asian feel after they have been insulted? Disoriented -.-
Was out of the loop. Asian friend told me United Airlines has the power to deny your liberties He said they punched his rights out.
I'm ready for this whole United thing to blow over... It's just beating a concussed Asian doctor at this point.
What's yellow and up in the sky? An Asian that stepped on a land mine.
What's the difference between an old crab and a Korean in the oven? Ones a crusty crestacean and the others a crispy crust Asian
How long is an Asian name? Yes it is.
Want to hear an Asian Dad joke? Get back to work, you slacker.
What do you call an Asian that works at a brothel?
For as many jokes I have gotten form this subreddit, I'm happy I can finally submit my own.
My Asian friend got his Jewish wife pregnant. I guess "Cha Ching" wasn't an appropriate name suggestion
I'm furious! racist tech support just called me asian All I said was my drivers keep crashing
Did you know you can break your nose if you squint hard enough? I did it on the bus today and some Asian guy punched me in the face!
What do you call an Asian guy that always shows up before he needs to? Earl Lee
What do you call a Asian born in Canada Ehsian
What's a let down Chinese lobster called? A crushed asian
What do call an Asian woman with one leg longer than the other? Irene
I know kung fu, tae kwan do, ninjitsu, karate, tia chi... and a few other asian words.
I had surgery to change myself from Asian to Caucasian. It was a real eye opening experience
How many Asian-American actors does it take to change a light bulb? None - because they would all be replaced by white actors.
I'm no weatherman, but I am Asian... So expect at least half an inch tonight
An Asian man goes to the eye doctor
The eye doctor says, "Sir, you have a cataract".
And the Asian man says, "No, I have a Rincoln Contirental".
An asian man goes to the eye doctor...
Doctor: "Sir you have cataracts."
Asian man: "No I drive a honda."