Hilarious Asian Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Asian Jokes

Score: 22308

What's the difference between a lobster and a Chinese man who's been run over by a bus? One's a crustacean, the other's a crushed Asian.

Score: 9572

My boss fired me for making too many Asian jokes It was the end of my Korea

Score: 5254

I once thought I had a Japanese friend. But it was just my imagine Asian.

Score: 1828

My friend that only dates Asian girls just started dating his ex-girlfriend again And I don't know if I should tell him.

Score: 1373

I lose my White friends in the snow, I lose my Black friends at night, I lose my Asian friends in the sand, where do I lose my Arab friends? In an explosion.

Score: 1214

How do you make a Chinese man no longer Asian? Just spin him around in circles until he's disoriented

Score: 1055

My Asian roommate says I have schizophrenia. Jokes on him, I don't have a roommate.

Score: 982

I was holding a door open for this asian guy and he said "sank you". I punched him square in the jaw, how dare he bring up pearl harbour like that.

Score: 958

How do you blindfold an Asian woman? Put a windshield in front of her.

Score: 839

Lying in bed, my girlfriend turned to me and said "You're a lot like a math exam."

I replied "Why? Because I'm long and hard?"

She said, "No, I'm cheating on you with an Asian."

Score: 770

A white guy, a black guy, an Indian, an Asian women and a girl in a wheel chair walk into a bar They are celebrating being on the cover of a middle school math book

Score: 650

I think my entire family is racist. I was dating an Asian woman and eventually brought her to my home to meet my family

My wife and kids didn't even want to talk to me.

Score: 634

Why can't Asian couples have Caucasian babies? Because two Wongs don't make a white.

Score: 548

Asian Keanu Asian Keanu arrives at party.

Asian Keanu gets bored.

Asian Keanu Reeves.

Score: 402

My boss fired me for making too many Asian jokes. It was the end of my Korea.

I'm still China find another job.

Score: 385

I threw an Asian man down a flight of stairs. It was Wong on so many levels

Score: 311

I met an Asian girl today with the last name of "China" It was her made-in name

Score: 303

So I tried Colgate for the first time.. was not impressed- The tube said 'Guaranteed whiteness in 3 brushes". 3 brushes later, I'm still Asian.

(Speaking of still Asians, my grandma's a quadriplegic. She's a pretty still Asian)

Score: 294

What do you call a black asian? Thai-rone.

Score: 274

What do you call an Asian lady with one leg longer than the other?? Irene

Score: 270

Don't buy Colgate whitening toothpaste! It says guaranteed whiteness in 14 days.

It's been 2 weeks and I'm still Asian.

Score: 264

A wise Asian man once said.... If a dog is barking, you know it's undercooked

Score: 223

When I was a kid, I thought I had a Chinese friend but turn out, it was nothing more than just my imagine asian.

Score: 209

Asian keanu Asian Keanu arrives at a party

Asian Keanu gets bored

Asian keanu Reeves

Score: 203

I had a race with an Asian today It was a Thai

Score: 198

On meeting Donald Trump, Kim Jon Un says “I will destroy America...” Trump replies, “No way, that’s my job. I won’t have another asian stealing an American job.”

Score: 189

My asian parents are actually very supportive of my career path They let me pick which medical school I'm going to

Score: 159

My boss fired me for making too many Asian jokes. I feel like this is the end of my Korea. I am still China find a job.

Score: 151

I ordered an Asian Hooker, she arrived 2 hours late She loves me wrong time.

Score: 151

A newlywed Asian couple are on the first night of their honeymoon and have saved it for marriage The husband says to his wife, "What do you want to do? We can try anything you want."

The wife says, "I want 69."

The husband replies, "You want beef with broccoli?"

Score: 120

So earlier I held the door for an Asian guy... He said "Sank you" ...so I punched him. I couldn't believe he brought up Pearl Harbor like that.

Score: 85

My Dad told me this one today An Asian man goes to the eye doctor,
The doctor tells him "You have a cataract",
The man says "No, I drive a Rincoln."

My dad told this one to me today and just thought it was hilarious

Score: 19

Did you know 60% of all Asian men have Cataracks? The other 40% drive Mitsubishis.

Score: 18

Considering how bad Asian drivers are... I'm starting to think Pearl Harbor was an accident.

Score: 14

What do you call a girl with one leg? Ilene If she's Asian though, Irene

Score: 12

As an Asian male, I'm offended by the stereotype that we're bad drivers and have small penises. I am an excellent driver.

Score: 11

Why don't Asian couples have Caucasian children? Because two Wongs don't make a white.

Score: 9

What do you call white people pushing a car up a hill? White power.

What do you call asian people pushing a car up a hill?
Asian power.

What do you call mexicans pushing a car up a hill?
Grand theft auto.

Score: 8

The Asian man got bad news from his eye doctor The doctor told him he had a cataract.
The Asian man replied, "No I dwive a Wincoln!"

Score: 7

New Asian Jokes

Want to hear a joke about Asian people? Well there’s a lot of them.

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An Asian who works in the stock market get up in the morning As he put on his uniform he said to himself "I go in vest now"

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What liquer do most asian people like to hate? Baileys Irish ... Cream

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My coworker invited an Asian friend to the party His friend said he would bring Coronas to the party, but didn't show up with beer.



*Everyone left the party feeling a little sick.*

Score: 0

What do yo call an Asian Kid with a Calculator? A disgrace

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Whats it callend when you microwave an asian? Wice Kwispy.

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My boss fired me for hr reasons. He said I made too many Asian jokes about their dialect. It was the end of my Korea. I'm still China another job.

Score: 3

Why don’t Asian people like bowling? Because to them it’s bowring.

Score: 2

Whenever I tell people that I'm half asian they look so surprised They just can't tell by looking at my face

Score: 3

What do Asian cats eat? Mice paper rolls
What do Asian dogs eat?
Their family

Score: 1

If you look at how some Asian people are driving... ...you might think that Pearl Harbor was an accident.

Score: 3

Why do Elmo and Asian cuisine go so well together? Because he's a sesame ginger

Score: 1

Why did Logan Paul not high five Ricegum back? He likes leaving asian people hanging

Score: 1

As a Chinese immigrant living in the states for a while, I can't help but feel like I'm less asian I guess I'm just disoriented

Score: 5

Asian people are such bad drivers that I'm starting to think Pearl Harbor was an accident Lol

Score: 3

My paraplegic friend calls residents of Asian countries "Chinas", "Japans", "Taiwans", etc. I think he's a little weak in the 'nese.

Score: 2

I checked out a brothel and spent time with a bipolar asian girl last night Dont think I'll be ordering sweet & sour off the menu again any time soon

Score: 5

an asian and caucasion guy are hitting on the same girl in a bar. after a while asian guy is left with a job in his hand.

Score: 0

My asian neighbour asked if he could walk the dog They didn’t come back for a while, I was worried about my dog so I went to his house, dog was on the wok.

Edit: I am not racist nor trying to be disrespectful, just liked the play on words wok and walk :)

Score: 1

What do you call a red head Asian girl who does things with grace? Ginger Lee.

*If you ever see this I'm sorry for stealing your original joke @Ziplock*

Score: 2

Mommy, why am I asian when daddy is black and you are white? With how that night went just be thankful you are not barking

Score: 1

What do you call a crab that knows king fu? A Crust-Asian

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What do you call a lonely south-asian man? Lone Lee

Score: 4

What's black, white, red and Asian? The red panda

Score: 5

Why are Asian countries so rich Because they rice above their status.

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You know what every Asian is dreaming about? 30ms ping

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What's the difference between an old crab and Korean in the oven? Ones a crusty crestacean and the others a crispy crust Asian

Score: 3

What do you call an Asian skeleton? Shin Bone

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Why could the inventors of the airplane not gave had asian parents? Because everyone knows two Wongs don't make a Wright.

Score: 0

There are two things I hate the most in the world Racism and Asian people.

Score: 1

I cooked fancy meals for several Asian Nations, but they all left before paying the bill Japan and Vietnam left without forking anything over and Korea totally desserted the place!

If they don't come back, then I may have to fine China

Score: 2

Held the door open for an Asian kid He said sank you. Punched that kid in the face can't believe he'd bring up Pearl Harbor

Score: 5

What do United Airlines and an Asian restaurant have in common? Chinese take out.

Score: 5

Why don't Asian parents like Hamlet? Because the monologue should be "To A or not to A"

Score: 2

Want to hear an Asian Dad joke? Get back to work, you slacker.

Score: 4

Why Didn't the Jew Score Another Date with the Asian Girl? Hebrew it.

Score: 3

What do call an Asian woman with one leg longer than the other? Irene

Score: 5

I got great life advice from the old asian lady at the massage parlor "If you want Happy Ending, don't pick young pretty girl."

Score: 2

A man walks onto a bus full of asian people dressed as skeletons and asks: I'm trying to get to manchester, is this the wight bus or the wong bus?

Score: 1

I'm no weatherman, but I am Asian... So expect at least half an inch tonight

Score: 5

Why can't Asian couples have a caucasian child? Because two wongs don't make a white.

Score: 6

What is the cheapest way to blindfold an Asian? Dental floss.

Score: 2