Asian Jokes


Funniest Asian Jokes

Funny Asian Jokes
Score: 22308

What's the difference between a lobster and a Chinese man who's been run over by a bus? One's a crustacean, the other's a crushed Asian.

Score: 9572

My boss fired me for making too many Asian jokes It was the end of my Korea

Score: 5254

I once thought I had a Japanese friend. But it was just my imagine Asian.

Score: 1828

My friend that only dates Asian girls just started dating his ex-girlfriend again And I don't know if I should tell him.

Score: 1373

I lose my White friends in the snow, I lose my Black friends at night, I lose my Asian friends in the sand, where do I lose my Arab friends? In an explosion.

Score: 1214

How do you make a Chinese man no longer Asian? Just spin him around in circles until he's disoriented

Score: 1055

My Asian roommate says I have schizophrenia. Jokes on him, I don't have a roommate.

Score: 982

I was holding a door open for this asian guy and he said "sank you". I punched him square in the jaw, how dare he bring up pearl harbour like that.

Score: 958

How do you blindfold an Asian woman? Put a windshield in front of her.

Score: 839

Lying in bed, my girlfriend turned to me and said "You're a lot like a math exam."

I replied "Why? Because I'm long and hard?"

She said, "No, I'm cheating on you with an Asian."

Score: 770

A white guy, a black guy, an Indian, an Asian women and a girl in a wheel chair walk into a bar They are celebrating being on the cover of a middle school math book

Score: 650

I think my entire family is racist. I was dating an Asian woman and eventually brought her to my home to meet my family

My wife and kids didn't even want to talk to me.

Score: 634

Why can't Asian couples have Caucasian babies? Because two Wongs don't make a white.

Score: 548

Asian Keanu Asian Keanu arrives at party.

Asian Keanu gets bored.

Asian Keanu Reeves.

Score: 402

My boss fired me for making too many Asian jokes. It was the end of my Korea.

I'm still China find another job.

Score: 385

I threw an Asian man down a flight of stairs. It was Wong on so many levels

Score: 311

I met an Asian girl today with the last name of "China" It was her made-in name

Score: 303

So I tried Colgate for the first time.. was not impressed- The tube said 'Guaranteed whiteness in 3 brushes". 3 brushes later, I'm still Asian.

(Speaking of still Asians, my grandma's a quadriplegic. She's a pretty still Asian)

Score: 294

What do you call a black asian? Thai-rone.

Score: 274

What do you call an Asian lady with one leg longer than the other?? Irene

Score: 270

Don't buy Colgate whitening toothpaste! It says guaranteed whiteness in 14 days.

It's been 2 weeks and I'm still Asian.

Score: 264

A wise Asian man once said.... If a dog is barking, you know it's undercooked

Score: 223

When I was a kid, I thought I had a Chinese friend but turn out, it was nothing more than just my imagine asian.

Score: 209

Asian keanu Asian Keanu arrives at a party

Asian Keanu gets bored

Asian keanu Reeves

Score: 203

I had a race with an Asian today It was a Thai

Score: 198

On meeting Donald Trump, Kim Jon Un says “I will destroy America...” Trump replies, “No way, that’s my job. I won’t have another asian stealing an American job.”

Score: 189

My asian parents are actually very supportive of my career path They let me pick which medical school I'm going to

Score: 159

My boss fired me for making too many Asian jokes. I feel like this is the end of my Korea. I am still China find a job.

Score: 151

I ordered an Asian Hooker, she arrived 2 hours late She loves me wrong time.

Score: 151

I was born to an Asian family But it was rough, the doctors had to perform a C section.

My dad slapped me at birth for not getting an A+ section.

Score: 131

I used to by my dad a neck tie on father's day, but now I buy him an Asian hooker. It's better to buy a Thai that he'll actually use.

Score: 85

I held a door open for an Asian guy and he said "sank you" so i punched him in the face. Serves him right for bringing up Pearl Harbor like that.
PS: Happy 4th of July

Score: 44

I'm furious! racist tech support just called me asian All I said was my drivers keep crashing

Score: 28

Last night I asked my Asian girlfriend for 69... She made me sweet and sour pork with fried rice.

Score: 24

Considering how bad Asian drivers are... I'm starting to think Pearl Harbor was an accident.

Score: 14

What did the Asian man say to his wife when the hospital nursery tried to send them home with a blonde hair, blue-eye baby? Hmmm... two Wongs don't make a white.

Score: 14

An Asian man goes to the eye doctor The eye doctor says, "Sir, you have a cataract".

And the Asian man says, "No, I have a Rincoln Contirental".

Score: 14

Lots of Asian women are turning into good drivers, So if you’re a good driver; watch out for asian women turning!

Score: 12

I like my women like Hawaii... Warm, wet, and Asian.

Score: 11

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New Asian Jokes

Want to hear a joke about Asian people? Well there’s a lot of them.

Score: 2

An Asian couple had a White baby. They named it Sum Ting Wong.

Score: 2

What liquer do most asian people like to hate? Baileys Irish ... Cream

Score: 0

My coworker invited an Asian friend to the party His friend said he would bring Coronas to the party, but didn't show up with beer.


*Everyone left the party feeling a little sick.*

Score: 0

What do yo call an Asian Kid with a Calculator? A disgrace

Score: 0

What is an Asian persons drug of choice? Mathamphetamine

Score: 2

Whats it callend when you microwave an asian? Wice Kwispy.

Score: 0

My boss fired me for hr reasons. He said I made too many Asian jokes about their dialect. It was the end of my Korea. I'm still China another job.

Score: 3

Why don’t Asian people like bowling? Because to them it’s bowring.

Score: 2

Whenever I tell people that I'm half asian they look so surprised They just can't tell by looking at my face

Score: 3

A man points a gun to an asians head and says "Get on your knees" The asian replies "Cantonese"

Score: 1

What do Asian cats eat? Mice paper rolls
What do Asian dogs eat?
Their family

Score: 1

If you look at how some Asian people are driving... might think that Pearl Harbor was an accident.

Score: 3

Why do Elmo and Asian cuisine go so well together? Because he's a sesame ginger

Score: 1

Why did Logan Paul not high five Ricegum back? He likes leaving asian people hanging

Score: 1

What do yoy call an anti asian Rice-ist

Score: 2

What do you call a shell fish from China? A Crust-Asian

Score: 2

What do you call a shell fish from China?a A Crust-Asian

Score: 3

Asian people are such bad drivers that I'm starting to think Pearl Harbor was an accident Lol

Score: 3

My paraplegic friend calls residents of Asian countries "Chinas", "Japans", "Taiwans", etc. I think he's a little weak in the 'nese.

Score: 2

Where can you see a black person, a racially ambiguous person, an Asian person, and an older white person all smiling and getting along? A corporate stock photo.

Score: 2

I broke my leg a while back and had to use crutches. After a while he saw me walking in a central Asian country without them and didn't know my leg had healed, so he asked, "Why don't you have your crutches?" And I said, "Kazakhstan up fine by myself."

Score: 2

My asian neighbour asked if he could walk the dog They didn’t come back for a while, I was worried about my dog so I went to his house, dog was on the wok.

Edit: I am not racist nor trying to be disrespectful, just liked the play on words wok and walk :)

Score: 1

What do you call a red head Asian girl who does things with grace? Ginger Lee.

*If you ever see this I'm sorry for stealing your original joke @Ziplock*

Score: 2

I like my cartoons like Woody Allen likes his women... Barely legal and asian.

Score: 3

Mommy, why am I asian when daddy is black and you are white? With how that night went just be thankful you are not barking

Score: 1

I once knew a man who spun Asian people round in a circle a few times and when he was done they would be European It’s the truth, he could disorient people.

Score: 2

My doctor told me that I had Hepatitis B When I told my Asian dad, he said, "Why you no get Hepatitis A?"

Score: 5

What do you call a lonely south-asian man? Lone Lee

Score: 4

What's black, white, red and Asian? The red panda

Score: 5

I've been so stressed, I decided to finally try that Asian relaxing technique with the needles. Heroin

Score: 8

What's the difference between a flute and fruit? Nothing, if you're Asian...

Score: 1

What's the difference between an old crab and Korean in the oven? Ones a crusty crestacean and the others a crispy crust Asian

Score: 3

Why don't Asian couples have Caucasian children? Because two Wongs don't make a white.

Score: 9

The Asian man got bad news from his eye doctor The doctor told him he had a cataract.
The Asian man replied, "No I dwive a Wincoln!"

Score: 7

Why could the inventors of the airplane not gave had asian parents? Because everyone knows two Wongs don't make a Wright.

Score: 0

There are two things I hate the most in the world Racism and Asian people.

Score: 1

I cooked fancy meals for several Asian Nations, but they all left before paying the bill Japan and Vietnam left without forking anything over and Korea totally desserted the place!

If they don't come back, then I may have to fine China

Score: 2

Held the door open for an Asian kid He said sank you. Punched that kid in the face can't believe he'd bring up Pearl Harbor

Score: 5

What do United Airlines and an Asian restaurant have in common? Chinese take out.

Score: 5

Why don't Asian parents like Hamlet? Because the monologue should be "To A or not to A"

Score: 2

What do you call white people pushing a car up a hill? White power.

What do you call asian people pushing a car up a hill?
Asian power.

What do you call mexicans pushing a car up a hill?
Grand theft auto.

Score: 8

Asian people are such bad drivers They keep Korean off the road

Score: 1

Want to hear an Asian Dad joke? Get back to work, you slacker.

Score: 4

Its best to put your phone on some rice when its wet Asian people will come at night and fix it

Score: 2

Why Didn't the Jew Score Another Date with the Asian Girl? Hebrew it.

Score: 3

What do call an Asian woman with one leg longer than the other? Irene

Score: 5

How come no Asian people voted today? They don't leave their house on erection day.

Score: 1

A man walks onto a bus full of asian people dressed as skeletons and asks: I'm trying to get to manchester, is this the wight bus or the wong bus?

Score: 1

I'm no weatherman, but I am Asian... So expect at least half an inch tonight

Score: 5

An asian man goes to the eye doctor... The doctor says to him "I know why you're not seeing so well, you have a cataract"

The asian man says "No, I have a Rincoln Contirental"

Score: 3

What do you call an Asian-Indian man, who is standing on one leg? Balan Singh

Score: 1

An asian man goes to the eye doctor... Doctor: "Sir you have cataracts."
Asian man: "No I drive a honda."

Score: 3

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