Autism Jokes

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Funniest Autism Jokes

My Wife wore a "Vaccines cause autism" shirt She was insulted, punched and spit on

Not to imagine what would have happened if she left the house!

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Do you know why more vaccinated than unvaccinated children have autism? Because you have to be alive to be autistic

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Funny Autism Jokes
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Vaccinated children have a higher chance of getting autism. After all, you have to be alive to get autism.

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"Mom, why didn't you vaccinate me?" "I didn't want you to get autism, honey."

"Thanks mom. I could have not survived having autism and polio at the same time."

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Why are vaccinated kids more likely to have autism? Because the ones that aren't vaccinated are dead.

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People give anti-vaxxers a hard time, but they gave us one important thing... A control group for our studies confirming that vaccines do not cause autism.

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I installed anti-virus on my PC Now the damned thing has autism.

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Vaccinated kids are more likely to have autism Because they're still alive.

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What do you call a stick with autism? Autistic

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Vaccinated kids are much more likely to have autism Because the ones that aren’t vaccinated are dead.

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Unvaccinated children DO have a lower rate of autism. Because they're dead.

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Did you hear some people are saying listening to Queen causes autism? Apparently it's because of the unusually high Mercury content.

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Anti vaccinated kids show no sign of autism Because autism isn’t detected until age 3

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Why is World Autism Day after April Fools’ Day? Because it takes longer for them to get the joke.

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Why is autism less frequently diagnosed in non vaccinated kids? You gotta be alive to have autism.

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Unvaccinated children are less likely to have autism Because they’re more likely to be dead

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If I had a vaccine for every bullshit news article that's been spread about by stay at home moms on Facebook I would have autism.

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So an anti-vaxxer tells me that vaccines cause autism. So I reply "Oh, so you've gotten vaccinated, then?"

~~Sorry if it's a terrible joke.~~
No regrets

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My blonde wife is staunchly opposed to my kids having a vacation. She’s convinced they cause autism.

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Many top scientists are on the autism spectrum.. And that means that autism causes vaccines.

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You know kids that get vaccinated are more likely to have autism It’s because there still alive

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I'm an anti vaccine activist, and didn't vaccinate my children. They're all dead, but at least they don't have autism!

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You know, I heard listening to Queen has been scientifically proven to give people autism. Apparently because of the unusually high Mercury content.

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A new study came out today showing that kids who are NOT vaccinated are actually more likely to have autism. Turns out autism is hereditary.

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I was just told I've been diagnosed with autism I'm not sure how to react to that

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All of the parents who claim that vaccines cause autism have nothing to be afraid of. You can't get autism twice.

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What do you call a puppy with autism? aww-tistic

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I vaccinated my brother a year ago, but it didn’t work... Still doesn’t have autism.

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It’s proven that vaccinated kids are more likely to get autism Because the ones that are unvaccinated are dead.

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You know about that rumor, that vaccines cause autism? I predict it'll die off in around three years or so.

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Why were the anti-vaxxing parents crying? They found out autism is genetic

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It has been proven that anti vaxers have a lower chance of autism Unfortunately the main side effect is death

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My doctor just diagnosed me with autism I don't know whether to laugh or cry

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Did you know that it’s been proven vaccinated kids are more likely to have autism Because the ones that aren’t vaccinated are dead

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What’s worse than a child with autism? A parent who’d prefer a dead child over an autistic one.

#Autistic&Awesome

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Not getting vaccinated can help you not get autism Because you don’t show signs till 12-18 months of age

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There was a 6th grader who transferred to my school and had green legs and autism. He was put into a special knees class.

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There's a high proportion of people with ASD in scientific fields. Autism causes vaccines.

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I tried to create an account on a website with my username being a boy that has autism from my favorite childhood TV show. It stopped me and said "No special characters allowed in username."

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New Autism Jokes

It's proven that vaccined kids are more likely to have autism than the non-vaccinated ones. A dead person can't have autism.

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It’s been proven that kids who are vaccinated are more likely to have autism Because the ones that aren’t vaccinated are already dead

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A new study shows anti vaxed kids never get autism. They die before signs could show.

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What’s the most ironic organization name in the country? Autism *Speaks*

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They were right the whole time. It turns out that un-vaccinated children actually are less likely to develop autism Because they're more likely to be dead.

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I would talk about Keemstar but I don't think autism jokes are politically correct anymore

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