Autism Jokes

My Wife wore a "Vaccines cause autism" shirt She was insulted, punched and spit on

Not to imagine what would have happened if she left the house!

Do you know why more vaccinated than unvaccinated children have autism? Because you have to be alive to be autistic

Vaccinated children have a higher chance of getting autism. After all, you have to be alive to get autism.

"Mom, why didn't you vaccinate me?" "I didn't want you to get autism, honey."

"Thanks mom. I could have not survived having autism and polio at the same time."

Why are vaccinated kids more likely to have autism? Because the ones that aren't vaccinated are dead.

People give anti-vaxxers a hard time, but they gave us one important thing... A control group for our studies confirming that vaccines do not cause autism.

I installed anti-virus on my PC Now the damned thing has autism.

Vaccinated kids are more likely to have autism Because they're still alive.

What do you call a stick with autism? Autistic

Vaccinated kids are much more likely to have autism Because the ones that aren’t vaccinated are dead.

Unvaccinated children DO have a lower rate of autism. Because they're dead.

Did you hear some people are saying listening to Queen causes autism? Apparently it's because of the unusually high Mercury content.

Anti vaccinated kids show no sign of autism Because autism isn’t detected until age 3

Why is World Autism Day after April Fools’ Day? Because it takes longer for them to get the joke.

Why is autism less frequently diagnosed in non vaccinated kids? You gotta be alive to have autism.

Unvaccinated children are less likely to have autism Because they’re more likely to be dead

If I had a vaccine for every bullshit news article that's been spread about by stay at home moms on Facebook I would have autism.

So an anti-vaxxer tells me that vaccines cause autism. So I reply "Oh, so you've gotten vaccinated, then?"

~~Sorry if it's a terrible joke.~~
No regrets

My blonde wife is staunchly opposed to my kids having a vacation. She’s convinced they cause autism.

Many top scientists are on the autism spectrum.. And that means that autism causes vaccines.

You know kids that get vaccinated are more likely to have autism It’s because there still alive

I'm an anti vaccine activist, and didn't vaccinate my children. They're all dead, but at least they don't have autism!

You know, I heard listening to Queen has been scientifically proven to give people autism. Apparently because of the unusually high Mercury content.

A new study came out today showing that kids who are NOT vaccinated are actually more likely to have autism. Turns out autism is hereditary.

I was just told I've been diagnosed with autism I'm not sure how to react to that

All of the parents who claim that vaccines cause autism have nothing to be afraid of. You can't get autism twice.

What do you call a puppy with autism? aww-tistic

I vaccinated my brother a year ago, but it didn’t work... Still doesn’t have autism.

You know about that rumor, that vaccines cause autism? I predict it'll die off in around three years or so.

It’s proven that vaccinated kids are more likely to get autism Because the ones that are unvaccinated are dead.

It has been proven that anti vaxers have a lower chance of autism Unfortunately the main side effect is death

Why are vaccinated children most likley to get autism? Because all the unvaccinated ones are dead!

Concerning Michael Flynn The real question on republicans minds right now: what happens to the validity of Flynn's testimony when he gets autism after receiving immunity?

I didn't vaccinate any of my kids and none of them got autism. None of them lived past the age of 2, but that's beside the point.

Did you know that it’s been proven vaccinated kids are more likely to have autism Because the ones that aren’t vaccinated are dead

What’s worse than a child with autism? A parent who’d prefer a dead child over an autistic one.

#Autistic&Awesome

There was a 6th grader who transferred to my school and had green legs and autism. He was put into a special knees class.

Not getting vaccinated can help you not get autism Because you don’t show signs till 12-18 months of age

Everybody in my family has a disorder. My mom's depressed, my dad has ADHD, and my brother has autism. There's nothing wrong with me though. I'm perfect.