9/11 Jokes


Funniest 9/11 Jokes

Funny 9/11 Jokes

Why is 10 always afraid? Because he was in the middle of 9/11

Without Arabians, 9/11 wouldn't exist. It would be IX/XI instead.

How did 10 die? He was caught in the middle of 9/11

9/11 was a national tragedy. So is 11/9.

Why are 9/11 victims the best readers? They can go through 94 stories in seconds!

Edit: Please don't hurt me.

What's the difference between 9/11 and a cow? You don't milk a cow for 10 years

Proof that 9/11 wasn't a government plot: It worked.

9/11 jokes are terrible. The other 2/11, however, are hilarious.

What is the difference between 9/11 and a professional gardener? One is an outside job

What is the difference between 9/11 and landscaping? Landscaping is an outside job.

Since this year they launched the iPhone 8/X We'll probably get to see 9/11 next year

9/11 Jokes aren't funny. The other 2 however, are hilarious!

9/11 Threesome. When twins go down on you.

Why was 10 traumatized? Because it was in the middle of 9/11

Why did the number 10 die? It was in the middle of 9/11

Who were the fastest readers in the world? 9/11 victims. Went through 87 stories in 10 seconds flat.

How did 10 die? He was in the middle of 9/11

Why did 10 die? Because he was in the middle of 9/11

Who are the fastest readers in the world? 9/11 victims because they went through 104 stories in just a few seconds

9/11 jokes aren't funny. The other two are, though.

Why was 10 afraid? Because it was in the middle of 9/11

Who are the fastest readers ? 9/11 victims, they went through 64 stories in just 8 seconds

What's the difference between 9/11 and a cow? You stop milking a cow after 10 years.

Which type of people are the world's fastest readers [DARK HUMOUR] 9/11 victims. They went through more than 50 stories in 10 seconds.

9/11 jokes are not funny guys.. The other 2, however, are hilarious!!

Without the Arabs, we wouldn't have 9/11 We would have IX/XI instead

How do we know 9/11 wasn't a government plot? Because it worked.

If 9/11 had happened in July... 7/11's brand name would have crumbled faster than the Twin Towers.

No matter if you are American or European 9/11 is a sad date

I want to start an interior design company, I'm going to call it 9/11 because it's an inside job.

What do Hillary Clinton and the World Trade Center have in common? Both collapsed on 9/11 after becoming overheated.

I want to remind everyone today that 9/11 jokes aren't funny... ...only 2/11 are.

I read somewhere that only 2/11 jokes are funny. Well, what I read was that 9/11 jokes are never funny, but I like to be positive.

Today is the rest of the world's 9/11 No, seriously, look up the calendar.

Why are 9/11 victims great readers? They can go through 90 stories in 10 seconds

Worst days in United States history.. .. 9/11 and 11/9

Why did only a few people laugh when Bush made a 9/11 joke? Because it was an inside joke

Who are the fastest readers? 9/11 victims....they went through 87 stories in 10 seconds.

9/11 jokes are never funny. But the other 2 are hilarious.

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New 9/11 Jokes

I would tell a 9/11 joke... But I'm not gonna fly into it.

I heard someone make a 9/11 joke the other day. I found it plane offensive.

I used to work for a used computer sales shop. I tried to convince my boss to have a 9/11 sale, 2 towers for the price of 1. It didn’t fly.

Why does 10 have PTSD? It was in the middle of 9/11

Why Cant Americans take a 9/11 joke? cause it flies right by their heads...

Why does everyone... Why does everyone keep calling 9/11 an inside job?

I thought it was an in-flight job.

A stunning beauty in hijab passed by me and my friend He asked what would you give her score ?

Answering 9/11 was probably not the answer he expected.

Without Americans, we wouldn’t have had 9/11 We would have had 11/9

I’ve ever really liked 9/11 jokes They’ve always been a bit plane

Why did 10 have crippling PTSD and anxiety It was directly in the middle of 9/11

Guys, stop joking about 9/11 It was clearly an outside job

THEN it was an inside job

Don’t make fun of 9/11. My uncle died in 9/11 He was a great pilot

Why did girls start shaving their pubes in the early 2000’s? Because bush did 9/11

What is the one thing you should never say during a 9/11 documentary Jenga

My dad died in 9/11 It sucks because he was a great pilot

Who are the fastest readers in the world? 9/11 victims. They went through 90 stories in 10 seconds

I don't like 9/11 jokes They always fly over my head

Why does 10 have PTSD He was in the middle of 9/11

Why does 10 have ptsd? It was right in between 9/11

Why was 10 crying? He was right in the middle of 9/11

Why was 10 crying? Because he was caught in the middle of 9/11

I've been trying to make a joke about 9/11 But it never seems to land
So I'm trying it a second time it might have a better impact

Why was 10 scared Because It was in the middle of 9/11

My father died in 9/11 He was a great pilot.

Some people think 9/11 was planned. But it was actually plane-d.

Offensive jokes are not cool I still rate them 9/11 even though they're gonna blew up

The problem with dark humor is... that a lot of jokes don’t land very well, kinda like those pilots during 9/11

I dont like 9/11 jokes The other 2 are good though

I wanted to tell a 9/11 joke but they said it was too soon. The funny part is a lot of the victims probably said the same thing.

I dont make jokes about 9/11 They all tend to crash and burn

Who are the fastest readers in the world 9/11 victims they went through 22 stories in 7 seconds

My uncle died on 9/11 He was the best pilot i Afghanistan

I don't understand why 9/11 is such a difficult topic. It's 0.8181, don't people have calculators?

I told my first 9/11 Joke in 1999 It was to soon.

Who is the youngest president in US history? George W. Bush, Jr. Crazy to think he was only in elementary school when 9/11 happened.

What’s the difference between 9/11 and a cow... You can’t milk a cow for ___ years

What's the difference between 9/11 and a cow? You can't milk a cow for 18 years

Guys, 9/11 jokes aren't funny. But the other two are.

People shouldn't joke about 9/11 it's a sensitive subject to people who lost their loved ones including me, i lost my uncle... He was the best pilot Saudi Arabia ever had.

What's the difference between 9/11 and the Oklahoma City Bombings? Once again, foreigners can do it better, cheaper, and more efficiently.

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Long 9/11 Jokes

Two 9/11 conspiracy theorists are in a plane when it crashes

An instant later they find themselves in the afterlife, being judged by Almighty God Himself.

One falls to his knees, "I deplore you, all-powerful Creator of the universe! Before you judge me, I humbly beg you, reveal who was behind the September 11 attacks!"

God sighs. "Muslim extremists. Al-Qaeda and Osama bin Laden did it."

His friend leans down and whispers, "Damn, dude. This thing goes way higher up than we ever realized."

E: If you think the joke is funny you should see all the butthurt 9/11 conspiracy theorists in the comments

A conspiracy theorist dies and goes to heaven...

When he arrives at the Pearly Gates, God is there to receive him. "Welcome. You are permitted to ask me one question, which I will answer truthfully."

Without hesitating, the conspiracy theorist asks, "Did Bush do 9/11?"

God replies, "Bush did not plan the attacks. 9/11 was perpetrated by Al-Qaeda and orchestrated by Osama Bin Laden. No bombs were planted in the Twin Towers, and no missiles hit the Pentagon. The U.S. government had no foreknowledge of the attacks whatsoever."

The conspiracy theorist thinks to himself, *this goes even deeper than I thought...*

Offensive NFL joke. Trigger Warning: Terrorism/World Trade Centre/Religious, anybody who is offended do not open this link

I'm really worried about Tim Tebow taking over the QB position. The last time anybody that religious had control of the Jets 9/11 happened

Topical Jokes 5/5

In an interview with Piers Morgan, Lindsay Lohan revealed that she’s only taken cocaine “maybe 4 or 5 times.” Not 4 or 5 times in her life, but during that interview.

Lil Wayne has been dropped as a spokesman for Mountain Dew because the company said his lyrics are offensive to black people. When Lil Wayne asked Mountain Dew which lyrics were offensive, they replied, “All of them.”

An Ethiopian religious group wants to institute a death penalty for homosexuals. In an unrelated story, Tom Cruise just cancelled his trip to Ethiopia.

Researchers in New York have found that 40% of teens text while driving. They also found out that the remaining 60% of teens are total liars.

In a speech in Mexico, President Obama said that “A new Mexico is emerging.” The governor for the state of New Mexico said, “Uhh, *hello*?”.

A 9/11 museum in New York is set to institute a mandatory $20-$25 dollar entry fee. They said the outrageous ticket price was the only way to ensure visitors never forget 9/11.

A paper from the National Academy of Sciences suggests that ancient Earth smelled like rotten eggs. What do you mean “used to?”, said people in New York City.

The parents from “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” have just gotten married. They said they finally tied the knot, because if you aren’t married after your fourth child, it starts to look a little tacky.

…proving that their reality show hasn’t changed them, they’re registered at The Dollar Store.

While giving a commencement speech at Ohio State University, President Obama told students, “I dare you to do better.” The students said, “Hey, right back atcha.”

Russia has increased the cost to send American astronauts to the space station from $65 million per person to $71 million. On the receipt, Russia listed the $5-million-dollar rate hike as a “You Have No Other Way of Getting There”-fee.

…the Russian space program said if the astronauts didn’t want to pay the full $71 million that they could be dropped off at the exosphere, and walk the rest of the way.

A NASA study predicts that climate change will cause severe rainfall and drought. The study also revealed that NASA scientists are really indecisive.

Kim Kardashian is reportedly “on the fence” about showing her baby on television. Kim said some things should be kept private. Off the top of her head, she couldn’t think of what that would be, but there’s got to be something.

…Kim Kardashian said she would never force her baby into the spotlight, unless it resulted in more fame, money, or ratings.

(Thanks for reading!)

So I told Hitler about 9/11

I told him about the carnage and the aftermath, and how the state of America was changed forever, but he was confused.

So, I told him about the backstory, and how Bin Laden began to plan this in the 90s, but he was still confused.

Then, I told him about the numerous connections and the conspirators who trained to fly the planes.

I saw the look on his face.

"What's the confusion?"

Hitler: "But why no eleven?"

Jenga Towers

At Highschool we have a test every week and my teacher lets the person with the highest score bring in their favourite board game. For years, my favourite game has been Jenga, the falling towers game.

So on friday the 8th in the first week of September I finally get the highest score and the teacher tells me I can bring in a board game on monday.

mfw I walk into class on 9/11 with Jenga and I'm a muslim...

New Conspiracy Theory about 9/11

So, if you convert 9/11 into a decimal, you get 0.8181818181818181818181818181.... going on forever. What's the eighth letter of the alphabet? H. What's the first letter of the alphabet? A. That's right, ladies and germs. The Joker did 9/11.

Two 9/11 Truthers die together in a car crash

They go to heaven and stand before God.

God says: "You may get a truthful answer to one question."

First one says: "Who really did 9/11?"

God says: "A bunch of al-Qaeada terrorists"

Second one whispers to the first: "Wow, this conspiracy goes all the way to the top!"

So on the morning of 9/11 then Pakistani President Pervez Musharraf rang up Bush

Musharraf - "Mr President, I would like to express my condolences to you. It is a real tragedy. So many people, such great buildings... I would like to assure that we had nothing in connection with that..

Bush - "What buildings? What people?"

Musharraf - "Oh, what time is it in America now?"

Bush - "It's eight in the morning."

Musharraf - "Oops... Will call back in an hour."

An American and a Brit stood looking at the wreckage of the twin towers post 9/11

Brit: “are you local?”

American: “No I’m visiting from Houston, Texas, what about you”

Brit: “I’m from Liverpool”

American: “Liverpool? What state is that in?”

Brit: *pointing to the wreckage* “well, it’s a bit like this really”

The 30th anniversary of 9/11

It’s the 30th anniversary of the attacks on the World Trade Center, a father and his 12 year old son are walking through New York City, looking at all of the plaques and memorials and that signified what happened on that day.

They walk up to the One World Trade Center memorial building and the son looks at a specific plaque and says, “Dad, what is this?”

The Dad responds, “Well son, about 30 years ago a terrible thing happened. A few bad guys from the Middle East hijacked four airliners and caused chaos throughout our nation.”

“Two of those airliners hit and destroyed the buildings that use to stand in this very place.”

“Many men and women lost their lives on that tragic day. So we come back here to pay tribute to all of them, including the brave police officers and fire fighters that lost their lives trying to save people from this incident all those years ago.”

The son replies, “No, no, Dad, I meant what’s the Middle East?”

So I was at the Twin Towers and...

Stop. The tragedy of 9/11 shouldn't be turned into a joke or meme of any sort. People lost their lives and many families have suffered from this tragic event in history. Please have some respect and do not create jokes/memes and do not disrespect those who have lost their lives.

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