Superhero Jokes

Contents

Funniest Jokes
New Jokes
Long Jokes

Funniest Superhero Jokes

Funny Superhero Jokes

What's the difference between iron-man and iron woman? one is a superhero and the other is a command.

My dad's a superhero He's the invisible man.



Edit: Wow! This is my most upvoted post. Thanks for the love strangers!

I’ve been killing rich parents, throwing spiders at nerdy teens, dumping acid on kids, and calling disabled people mutants. I haven’t created a superhero yet, but it better happen soon because I need to be stopped.

What’s the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman? One is a superhero and the other is a command.

What’s the difference between Ironman and Ironwoman? One is a superhero and the other is a command.

(Be gentle its my first joke)

Whats the difference between Iron Man and iron woman? One is a superhero the other is a simple instruction

What’s the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman? Iron Man is a superhero but Iron Woman just a simple command.

Which Marvel superhero is transgender? Ironman, he's a Fe male.

Marvel Comics have announced a new female, Muslim superhero who can fly. Which is handy, cause she's not allowed to drive.

A man applies to be a superhero as a part of the X-Men When asked what his super power is, the man replies "Hindsight".

The doctor says "That won't be of any use to us".

The man replies, "Yes, I see that now".

What's the difference between iron man and iron woman? The one is a superhero and the other one is a simple command.

If iron man is a superhero what's iron woman? a command

I'm not allowed to dress up as a superhero and visit the children's hospital anymore. And I put so much work into my Thanos costume.

What did the Superhero wear to Court? His Class Action Suit

Marvel have announced their newest Superhero team, one consisting entirely of Trans-woman. The Ex-Men.

What do you call a superhero who's made out of instant noodles? Ra-man.

How does the pope refer to his secret superhero identity? It's his altar ego.

Which superhero can beat Captain America? Captain Vietnam

Ironman and Ironwoman.. Whats the difference? One's a superhero - the other's a simple instruction!

I liked to pretend my dad was a superhero He was always the invisible man...

I asked my wife if I'm a superhero in bed. She said yes! The Flash.

What Superhero group would Caitlyn Jenner be apart of? The X-Men

What's the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman Iron Man is a Marvel superhero while Iron Woman is a command

Iron Man is a superhero Iron Woman is a command.

Who is the only superhero that could beat Captain America? Captain Vietnam

What is the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman ? Iron man is a superhero while iron woman is a command.

There should be an MtF superhero group. They would be the Ex-Men.

What's the difference between ironman and ironwoman? One is a superhero and the other is a simple command.

What's the difference between a superhero and an ant that cannot speak? Nothing, both are mutants.

Heard Caitlyn Jenner wants to be in a superhero movie. I think she'll either be an X-Men or Transformers

If Caitlyn Jenner was a superhero Would she be an xmen or a transformer?

Imagine a world without bloated superhero movies... ...wouldn't it be marvelless?

What’s the difference between iron man and iron woman Ones a superhero and ones a simple command

Which superhero loves to whip out his junk in public? The Flash

Which Marvel superhero was transgender? Ironman, he's a Fe male.

What superhero consists of only 16 atoms? Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na BATMAN!!

I always thought of my dad as a superhero The Invisible Man.

What is he difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman? One is a superhero and the other is a simple command

What's a superhero with a bad sense of direction? Wander Woman.

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New Superhero Jokes

Did you guys hear about the Superhero that only sleeps with married women? He saves wives.

What's the name of the Thai superhero that fights crime while dressed as currency? Bahtman.

Or is it The Bahtman?

What's the name of the superhero that stops crimes by nagging the evil-doers? Chider-Man.

There was once a superhero called "The Crocodile" She was flying around the city, when a man yelled. "Is that a bird?" He said. "Is that a plane?" Asked a woman. "No- it's the poor people's heroine!"

Which superhero is also a form of transport? Bus Lightyear!

Did I tell you about the time I got bitten by a radioactive priest? I was considering the superhero name "Altar boy"!

Which superhero hits the most home runs? Batman.

What superhero is the best at driving? Peter PARKer

I saw a convertible with a superhero livery It got my spyder senses tingling

As a kid my favorite superhero was The Flash and my favorite animal was the cheetah, I guess that explains why I'm now addicted to speed

What do you call an all kid superhero team....... Just Kids League

Marvel will introduce a turkish superhero in the second infinity war movie Ayran Man

If Caitlyn Jenner became a superhero Would she be an Xmen or a Transformer?

What superhero could Mr. Clean easily defeat? Spider-Man, it’s just takes a little pledge.

What did the critics say about Stallone's superhero movie? It was DREDDful.

What kind of superhero movie would Bruce Jenner star in? X-Men

What do you call a group of superhero vultures? “The Scavengers”

I wore my superhero outfit today and I'm not sure why everyone was staring at me. I thought it was conventional attire.

What do you call a Superhero with a dentist alter ego? Plaque Panther

Why did the pastry store stop selling superhero costumes? Because not many heroes wear crepes.

A superhero called color man... would just be a hue-man.

There was a superhero named Richman he had Purchasing Power

As a child, I always thought of my mom as a superhero Since my dad was away on Meta leave.

I thought my dad was a superhero but he lied When he jumped out the window, he didn't fly.

As a child, I always thought of my uncle as a superhero Since I found him in my closet, in his underwear

A research team asked a group of drug addicts who their favorite superhero was.. Oddly enough, almost all of them said Wonder Woman. The research team doesn't really know why, I guess they're just big fans of the heroine...

Which superhero would you want as a neighbor? I'm not sure, but definitely not The Flash.

Caitlin Jenner is starting a new superhero group They're called the X-Men

What superhero team should Caitlin Jenner be in? The X-men

Why did the superhero flush the toilet? It was his doody!

There's a new superhero in town.. There's a new superhero in town and he is the 'Aluminium Man'.
He will foil your evil plans!

Why did the superhero flush the toilet? Because it was his doody.

What do you call an Alt-Right superhero who can run very fast? The Fash.

What do you call a Superhero on opium? Flower Power

What superhero should you never have dinner with? Spider-Man. He never saves any Uncle Ben's.

Which superhero runs their own valet service? Peter Parker

What kind of superhero would Caitlyn Jenner be? An Ex-Man.

Why did the superhero flush the toilet? It was his duty!!!!

told to me by my 7yo son

A superhero who destroys his victims with horrible innuendos The PUNisher

There used to be a superhero that could turn into furniture and wore a crown... He was sofa king cool.

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Long Superhero Jokes

The Justice League has a vacancy and the number 7 is interviewing to fill a superhero position...

Batman: Thank you for coming, 7. Its been rough since the Flash took off and we're having a hard time finding someone to replace him. Let's get right to it. What is your first power?


Number 7: Well, for my whole life I've been in prime condition and I don't anticipate that changing anytime soon.


Bathman: That's great to hear. What do you consider your second power to be?


Number 7: 49

Call Captain Planet

The residents of a town are fed up with all of the pollution from factories, littering, and toxic waste.

Finally, a townsperson says, "We need Captain Planet!"

A moment later, a superhero looking dude shows up and says, "Did someone summon me?

The townspeople rejoice, and cheer for their new savior.

The superhero gathers everyone together and puts together a basic strategy to fight the pollution.

Then he says, "Have fun, I'm outta here."

The townspeople are confused and ask him, "Well wait, when do you start doing all this?"

He replies, "Me? I don't do anything. You called for Captain Plan-it"

In the City of Loafington, there lived a superhero named Wonderbread.

Wonderbread was, predictably, a superhero with bread-themed powers. He could beat up a gang with a baguette, trap someone in a giant pita, or cushion someone's fall with swiftly-rising dough. He was beloved by all in the city, for his escapades had the lovely side-effect of feeding the entire city for a week. He would keep the city free of crime and malice by driving around in his Breadmobile.

Our hero had his enemies and allies, of course. Chief among his enemies was a man simply known as Dr. Cobra. Dr. Cobra and his pet snake strove to sow the seeds of discord in Loafington, and he came up with elaborate plot after elaborate plot, that was always foiled by Wonderbread. And Wonderbread counted among his allies, the brilliant Yeastboy, a child prodigy who had volunteered to act as his sidekick. Yeastboy's real name was Hunter Godwin, though the press didn't know that.

On one particular day, Dr. Cobra had infiltrated the city's water supply, intending to use his venom to give everyone a terrible stomachache. Our heroes leaped into the Breadmobile and raced to the scene, driving at a breakneck pace.

When they arrived, their first enemy was Dr. Cobra's pet snake. A towering beast, far larger than any normal snake, it swayed and slithered, ready to strike if they got any closer.

"I know," said Yeastboy, who threw a couple of buns forwards. "That'll distract him!"

The snake seemed... unimpressed.

"No, Hunter," Wonderbread said, applying the wisdom of years. "*This* is how you fight snakes."

And Wonderbread clapped his hands together, and summoned indian flatbread to fall from the sky. The snake glanced up, and immediately slithered to eat at the bread.

"Wha- how did you know?" Wonderbread asked.

"The anconda don't want naan unless you've got buns, Hunter," he nodded sagely. "Now hurry, Dr. Cobra is getting away!"

They leaped into the Breadmobile, chasing down the Doctor. However, with their vehicle driving so quickly, any and all of the dough and bread and pastry they fired at the doctor couldn't possibly hit him, instead flying backwards as a tasty treat for some citizen.

"What do we do?" screamed Hunter.

"I have a plan. It's... not something I would normally consider, but I don't think I have a choice," Wonderbread said, stepping down harder on the accelerator.

"You're not gonna... ram him, are you?" Hunter asked.

"That's right," he said, solemnly, as if he too were afraid of the implication. "I'm going to brake bread with the enemy."

An Australian superhero tracks down his arch nemesis...

He camps outside his evil lair to do some reconnaissance before going in. The next day he goes in but gets captured.

Villain: “Did you come here to die?”

Hero: “Nah mate, I came here yesterday.”

Four kids are trick or treating...

All of them are wearing superhero costumes except one. They knock on a door and the person asks who they are dressed as. The first kid says he's spiderman. The second kid says she's wonder woman. The third kid say's he's the hulk. The fourth kid didn't have a costume. So he pulls down his shirt and then pulls it up really quickly. He then says "I'm the flash."

A kid was talking to his dad excitedly.

"Dad, I saw a superhero yesterday!"

The dad chuckled, "Really? Cool."

"Yeah! He was dressed in really bright colors!"

"Are you sure he had superpowers?"

"Definitely! there was a kid crossing the street, and the superhero stopped the traffic with his bare hands!"

The dad said, "It's too bad we'll never see the superhero again."

Then the kid ran over to a crossguard and hugged him. "This is him!"

Superhero Party

All the superheros were having a party. Everyone was there except Superman. The party went on for a few more minutes when Superman finally showed up. “Hey, Superman,” Batman said, “what took you so long?” “You won’t believe this,” Superman said, “But I was flying here when I looked down and saw Wonder Woman stark naked lying on her back. So I got up a lot of speed and dove down and made a hole in one.” All the guys cheered him and ask how she liked it. “Well, she liked it a lot but the Invisible Man was pissed!”

A young boy gets his first homework...

A young boy attends his first day in first grade, and is set his first piece of homework. His teacher asks him to find out the alphabet. Eager to please, he goes home that day and starts by asking his mother. He asks "mom, what's the first letter of the alphabet?". His mom is busy with housework, so simply replies "go away, I'm busy." The boy then goes to ask his dad, who's watching darts on TV. The boy asks "dad, what's the second letter of the alphabet?" Enthralled by the game, his dad shouts out "180" to celebrate the dart player achieving the highest score. And so the boy moves on to his father, who is watching a superhero film. The boy asks "what's the third letter of the alphabet?" His brother, engrossed in the film, shouts out "Superman!" And the boy moves on. He goes to his little sister, who's playing in her toy car. He asks "what's the fourth letter of the alphabet?" His sister, without looking up from her car, chants "in my little vroom vroom car..." And so the next day the boy returns to school, and the teacher asks him "what's the first letter of the alphabet?" The boy replies "go away, I'm busy". The teacher is outraged, and angrily asks "how dare you? How old do you think I am?" The boy continues to recite the alphabet, so replies "180!" The teacher is shocked, and asks "who do you think you are?" The boy replies "Superman!" The teacher, in shock, asks "how do you expect to get away with this?" The boy finished the alphabet by chanting at the teacher, "in my little vroom vroom car..."

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