Hilarious Midget Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Midget Jokes

Score: 3478

What do you call a Mexican midget? A paragraph cause he isn't a full essay

Score: 1450

Did you hear about the guy who's been pickpocketing midget charity workers? How could someone stoop so low?

Score: 630

I just saw a midget get pickpocketed... I still can't believe someone could stoop so low.

Score: 598

Why did the midget get kicked out of the nudist colony? He kept getting in everyone's hair.

Score: 499

The other day, I saw a midget prisoner climbing down a wall. About halfway down he turned and sneered at me, and I thought, "That's a little condescending."

Score: 478

There was a prison break and I saw a midget climb up the fence.... ...... as he jumped down he sneered at me and I thought, well that's a little condescending.

Score: 386

What do you call a mexican midget? A paragraph because he's too short to be an essay!

Score: 330

I accidentally rear ended someone at a stop light while not paying attention.. We get out to exchange information, and I notice the guy is a midget. The first thing he says is, "I'm not happy." To which I replied, "Well which one are you then?"

Score: 322

I was reading in the paper today about a midget that got pick pocketed. How could anyone stoop so low?

Score: 304

What do a dwarf and a midget have in common? Very little.

Score: 270

Midget Discrimination A midget asks the librarian,”Do you have any books on midget discrimination?” The librarian replies,”Top shelf”.

Score: 199

I saw a midget in a KKK outfit today I think he is a little racist.

Score: 189

what do you call a Mexican midget? a paragraph, too short to be an ese

Score: 175

What do you call a chubby midget? Low fat.

Score: 163

What do you call a midget who makes inappropriate jokes in the workplace? A little unprofessional

Score: 142

A psychic midget has escaped from prison.. Police are looking for a small medium at large.

Score: 140

What do you call a midget with epilepsy that makes pizza? Little Seizures...

Score: 130

Did you hear about the guy who pick pocketed a midget? How could he stoop so low?

Score: 128

What did the doctor say to the angry midget? "I'm going to ask you to be a little patient."

Score: 126

Have you heard about the midget Klan member? He was a little racist.

Score: 126

-Hi, do you have books on midget discrimination? -Yeah, look on that top shelf in the corner

Score: 117

What do you call a psychic midget who escaped from jail? A small medium at large

Score: 115

What do you call a psychic midget who just escaped from prison? A small medium at large.

Score: 97

What does a dwarf and a midget have in common? Very little.

Score: 97

What do you call a Mexican midget? A paragraph, because he is too short to be an essay!

Score: 95

What do you call a Mexican midget? A paragraph. He's too short to be an esé

Score: 95

What did the Doctor say to the midget in the waiting room? "You're going to have to be a little patient"

Score: 91

What do you call a midget doing a cartwheel? A midget spinner.

Score: 89

Why should a midget not attempt to slaughter a cow? The steaks are just too high.

Score: 87

what do you call a midget psychic who just escaped from prison? a small medium at large

Score: 71

Did you hear about the midget that got pick pocketed? I can't believe someone could stoop so low..

Score: 71

Today I saw a midget prisoner climbing down the prison wall... He turned and sneered at me, I thought: 'that's a little condescending'.

Score: 70

What do you call a breakdancing person with dwarfism? a midget spinner

Score: 64

What do you call a psychic midget that escapes from prison? A small medium at large.

Score: 62

Today I drove by a prison... and saw a midget prisoner climbing down the wall.

As he jumped down, he sneered at me and I thought, well, that's a little condescending.

Score: 55

When do you smack a midget? When they say your hair smells nice.

Score: 48

What do you call a Mexican midget? A paragraph. He's too short to be an essay.

Score: 47

Did you hear about the epileptic midget opening a pizza shop? It's called Little Seizures.

Score: 46

A midget walks into a bookstore... ...& asks clerk: 'do you happen to have any books on irony.'

The clerk points to a shelf: 'top row.'

Score: 40

New Midget Jokes

What do you call a midget who is also a psychic that escaped from jail? A small medium at large.

Score: 4

Did you hear about the midget psychic who escaped a mental institution?.... he was a small medium at large.

Score: 4

What's a midget with a mental disability? A little down.

Score: 9

Really made me smile when I walked past a group of midget mathematicians today... It's the little things that count.

Score: 6

I just dumbed my midget girlfriend We just weren’t seeing eye to eye

Score: 4

Did you hear about the little person who got stuck in a blender? He was a midget spinner

Score: 9

What does a midget pope and my oldest underwear have in common? They're both a little holy.

Score: 6

What do you call a Spanish midget? A paragraph. He's just too small to be an Essay.

Score: 10

A midget who claims to see dead people just escaped from a psychiatric ward. There's a small medium at large.

Score: 25

Why was a midget depressed after taking a picture in front of a geyser? Low selfie-steam

Score: 4

Did you hear about the midget psychic that escaped from prison? That makes him a small medium at large

Score: 8

My friend murdered a midget yesterday. He made short work of him.

Score: 4

So a psychic midget smoked some weed... He was a short high medium.

Score: 4

What do you call a midget fortune teller chased by the police? A small medium at large.

Score: 5

What do you call it when a midget greets you with his hand? A microwave.

Score: 6

What do you call a Mexican midget? A paragraph, cos he's too short to be an essay.

Score: 9

What do you call a midget that works at a casino? A small arms dealer.

Score: 5

What do you call a midget playing drums in a subway? A metro-gnome

Score: 21

When is it ever ok to punch a midget? When he tells you your girl's hair smells nice

Score: 19

What do you call a breakdancing little person? A midget spinner.

Score: 17

What do you call short people who work on fans? Midget spinners

Score: 5

Q. Why shouldn't you hire a midget chef? A. The steaks are too high

Score: 6

I always get my dates at midget strip clubs Those girls are the easiest to pick up

Score: 4

If a midget smokes pot... ...does he get high or medium?

Score: 10

I once read an article about how a midget got pickpocketed... How could anyone stoop so low

Score: 19

What's the difference between a clever midget and a yeast infection? One's a cunning runt...

Score: 9

What do you call a short ballerina in 2017? A midget spinner.

Score: 13

A redneck and a midget get into an accident The midget gets out of his car, hands on his hips and squeaks angrily, "I am not happy!"

The redneck spits and drawls "so which one are you?"

Score: 10

What do you call a carousel made specifically for little-people? a Midget Spinner

Score: 5

How do you pay a midget? Under the table.

Score: 6

Sometimes I just want to pick up a dwarf and start twirling them around. Then I'd have my very own midget spinner.

Score: 4

What do you call an ice skating dwarf? A midget spinner

Score: 12

A psychic midget escaped from prison... The police are looking for a small medium at large.

Score: 9

How do you call a bunch of dwarfs on a merry-go-round? A midget spinner.

Score: 4

What do you call a midget with nunchucks? Midget spinner

Score: 6

Doubt this is true, but I heard that one of those fraudulent midget psychics who escaped was preggers at the time! Now there's an extra small medium at large.

Score: 5

Yesterday I was walking past the state prison and saw a midget in an orange jumpsuit climbing down from the concrete wall, screaming insults at the guards.

I thought, "Well, thats a little condescending little con descending"

Score: 5

What do you call a midget mexican? A Paragraph, because hes to short to be an essay

Score: 40

Don't make fun of my midget girlfriend I'm nuts over her.

Score: 10

What is the difference between a clever midget and a woman jogger? One is a cunning runt.

Score: 15

What did the midget say to the gorgeous woman on a crowded elevator? Your hair smells nice.

Score: 24

What do you call a psychic midget on the lam? A small medium at large.

Friend just told me this one thought you may enjoy it.

Score: 9

What did the headlines say about the midget psychic who escaped from jail? SMALL MEDIUM AT LARGE

Score: 6

Criminal activity report I read this morning that someone pick pocketed a midget. How could someone stoop so low?

Score: 18

When is it okay to kick a midget? When he compliments how nice your girlfriends hair smells.

Score: 36

What do you call a midget Mexican? A paragraph, because he's just a partial essay

Score: 23

If your gunna tell a joke about a midget being smothered in honey.... Keep it short and sweet.

Score: 14

What did the doctor say to the midget waiting in the lobby? You're going to have to be a little patient.

Score: 40

a psychic midget escaped from jail Yes, we have a small medium at large

Score: 4

Where do midget terrorists live? Halfghanistan.

Score: 38

Condescending A midget convict was escaping out of a window, and as he lowered himself down I was walking past, and we made eye contact and he sneered at me and I thought "that's a little condescending". (Say it out loud)

Score: 4

What was the problem with the midget prostitute? She was always selling herself short.

Score: 18

So there was a prison break recently in my town.. I saw a midget climb up the fence. As he jumped down he sneered at me and I thought.. "well that’s a little condescending"

Score: 3

What do you call a psychic midget who escaped from prison to go to Death Valley to shoot up? What do you call a psychic midget who escaped from prison to go to Death Valley to shoot up?

A high low small medium at large.

Score: 5

Sometimes you need to look for the small positives in life. Like a midget with HIV.

Score: 6

When is it okay to punch a midget? When he stands next to your girlfriend and says her hair smells nice.

Score: 4

During a prison break, I saw a midget climb the fence of the prison yard. As he jumped down, he sneered at me... I thought to myself, "well, that was a little con-descending."

Score: 9

What does a British midget get when he is told he is going to be crucified? He gets a little cross.

Score: 26

A psychic midget just escaped from prison The news report said there was a small medium at large.

Score: 7

I saw someone pick-pocketing a midget the other day... How can anyone stoop so low...

Score: 5