Hilarious Midget Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Midget Jokes

Score: 3478

Did you hear about the guy who's been pickpocketing midget charity workers? How could someone stoop so low?

Score: 630

I just saw a midget get pickpocketed... I still can't believe someone could stoop so low.

Score: 598

Why did the midget get kicked out of the nudist colony? He kept getting in everyone's hair.

Score: 499

The other day, I saw a midget prisoner climbing down a wall. About halfway down he turned and sneered at me, and I thought, "That's a little condescending."

Score: 478

When do you have the right to kick a midget in the balls? When he says your girlfriend's hair smells nice.

Score: 416

There was a prison break and I saw a midget climb up the fence.... ...... as he jumped down he sneered at me and I thought, well that's a little condescending.

Score: 386

I was reading in the paper today about a midget that got pick pocketed. How could anyone stoop so low?

Score: 304

What do a dwarf and a midget have in common? Very little.

Score: 270

Midget Discrimination A midget asks the librarian,”Do you have any books on midget discrimination?” The librarian replies,”Top shelf”.

Score: 199

I saw a midget in a KKK outfit today I think he is a little racist.

Score: 189

I saw a midget escaping prison and climbing over the wall It was a little condescending

Score: 158

What do you call a midget who makes inappropriate jokes in the workplace? A little unprofessional

Score: 142

A psychic midget has escaped from prison.. Police are looking for a small medium at large.

Score: 140

What do you call a midget with epilepsy that makes pizza? Little Seizures...

Score: 130

Have you heard about the midget Klan member? He was a little racist.

Score: 126

Today, I saw a midget prisoner climbing down a wall. As he turned and sneered at me, I thought, "that's a little condescending."

Score: 119

-Hi, do you have books on midget discrimination? -Yeah, look on that top shelf in the corner

Score: 117

What do you call a psychic midget who escaped from jail? A small medium at large

Score: 115

What does a dwarf and a midget have in common? Very little.

Score: 97

What do you call a psychic midget who just escaped from prison? A small medium at large.

Score: 97

What did the Doctor say to the midget in the waiting room? "You're going to have to be a little patient"

Score: 91

What do you call a midget doing a cartwheel? A midget spinner.

Score: 89

Why should a midget not attempt to slaughter a cow? The steaks are just too high.

Score: 87

I overheard a midget complaining to a police officer that his pocket had been picked. The officer said 'I can't believe anyone would stoop that low'

Score: 84

Today, I saw a midget prisoner climbing down the fence. As we made eye contact, he glared at me and I thought to myself, "Well, that's a little condescending!"

Score: 82

The midget strip club down the street is hiring. They must be short staffed.

Score: 81

What do you call a midget psychic that escapes prison? A small medium at large.

Score: 80

Where does the midget pizza chef with epilepsy work? Little seizures

Score: 77

Why did the midget get slapped? Because he told a woman how nice her hair smelled.

Score: 71

Did you hear about the midget that got pick pocketed? I can't believe someone could stoop so low..

Score: 71

what do you call a midget psychic who just escaped from prison? a small medium at large

Score: 71

Today I saw a midget prisoner climbing down the prison wall... He turned and sneered at me, I thought: 'that's a little condescending'.

Score: 70

One time I saw a midget climbing down a prison wall... I thought to myself that’s a little condescending!

Score: 69

What do you call it when a midget waves at you? A microwave.

Score: 68

Why did the midget get kicked off a nude beach? People got seriously annoyed with him sticking his nose into everybody's business.

Score: 64

What do you call a breakdancing person with dwarfism? a midget spinner

Score: 64

What do you call a psychic midget that escapes from prison? A small medium at large.

Score: 62

What did the doctor say to the midget in the waiting room? You’re going to have to be a little patient

Score: 62

Did you hear about the midget who got pick-pocketed? How could anyone stoop so low?

Score: 62

What do you call a breakdancer with dwarfism? A midget spinner

Score: 62

New Midget Jokes

What do you call a psychic midget running from the police? A small medium at large.

Score: 19

What do you call a midget cop who talks a lot in Minnesota? A Minneapolis( mini yap police).

Score: 2

What do you call a dwarf in a wheelchair? A midget spinner.

Score: 16

Did you hear about the psychic midget that escaped from prison? He’s a small medium at large.

Score: 5

Did you hear about the midget psychic who broke free from prison? Now there’s a small medium at large.

Score: 3

What do you call a midget that is a child prodigy? A Dwarf Star

Score: 48

What do you call a psychic midget who recently escaped from prison? A small medium at large!

Score: 32

The midget fortune teller who kills his customers and runs... Is a small medium at large!!

Score: 7

What do you call a midget in a gang? A pimp squeak.

Score: 8

What do you call it when a midget gives head? A below job.

Score: 17

I use to date a midget It was a short term relationship....

Score: 6

Police arrested a midget croupier this morning. He was a known small arms dealer.

Score: 2

Did you hear about the midget psychic on the run from the police? There’s a small medium at large.

Score: 6

I crashed into a midget today. He lept out of his car and yelled "IM NOT HAPPY!" I replied.. " Well, which one are you then?!"

Score: 4

What do you call a criminal midget who is absailing? A little con descending.

Score: 1

What do you call a psychic midget that broke out of prison? A small medium at large

Score: 37

What do you call a midget psychic who has escaped from prison? A small medium at large.

Score: 6

A midget walked into a bar Must've been set low.

Score: 3

What do you call a Mexican Midget A paragraph, because it's not a full essay.

Score: 3

Why did the midget give up on his dream of becoming a butcher? Because the steaks were too high

Score: 7

A Pyschic midget has escaped from prison, reports say... There is a small Medium at large.

Score: 6

What does a midget and a very short person have in common? Very little.

Score: 11

The day after a midget psychic escaped from the federal penitentiary.... The headlines read “Small Medium at Large”

Score: 5

The midget wedding I was at went really fast It was just a really short reception I guess

Score: 9

What do you call a midget fortune teller who escapes from prison? A small medium at large.

Score: 19

So a Psychic Midget escaped from Jail There is a small medium at large

Score: 8

If a midget dates a basketball player... Is it considered a long-distance relationship?

Score: 2

Two midgets walk into a midget bar After they sit down, the first midget asks the other,

“Is this joke going to be any good?”

The second midget replies,

“No, but that’s okay, the bar is pretty low”

Score: 12

Why are there no midget accountant's Because they always come up short

Score: 2

The Tennis Playing Midget Did you hear about the midget who died playing tennis? He fell off the ping pong table.

Score: 2

A bad joke 2 tall guys and a midget walk into a bar.
The 2 tall guys say "ow" and the midget laughs in victory.

Sorry for the bad joke it is my cake day and I don't have anything interesting to post.

Score: 16

Did you hear the one about the midget psychic on the run from the cops? The headline read, "Small Medium at Large"

Score: 2

I saw a midget prisoner trying to climb down a huge wall. I thought to myself Well, that's a little con descending...

Score: 2

Did you hear about the midget psychic who broke out of prison? He's a small medium at large.

Score: 3

Did you hear about the midget who had a successful first date? He got a little head.

Score: 4

Not even mildly pc joke What's the difference between a pack of midget spies and a group of women joggers?

Well, the midgets are cunning runts.

Score: 35

What do you call a midget fortune teller who just broke out of prison? A small medium at large

Score: 31

What do you call a midget clairvoyant recently escaped from prison? Small medium at large.

Score: 2

Q: How do you know when to kick a midget A: When he tells you that your girlfriend's hair smells nice

Score: 5

What do you call a midget who is also a psychic that escaped from jail? A small medium at large.

Score: 4

I was playing blackjack against this midget the other day and he cleaned me out. I thought I was good at gambling, but he is a little bettor.

Score: 5

Why did the police bring in the midget for questioning? Because he was a little suspect.

Score: 4

Did you hear about the midget psychic who escaped a mental institution?.... he was a small medium at large.

Score: 4

What do you call a midget escaping out of a prison window? A little con-descending!

Score: 2

I read a newspaper article recently about a midget escaping from jail by scaling the prison walls. I guess it was a little con descending.

Score: 3

Today I saw a midget climbing down a prison wall... I thought to myself, that’s a little condescending.

Score: 3

Dwarf joke What do you call a dwarf on a merry-go-round?

A midget spinner

Score: 3

If you want to communicate with the dead just have a midget smoke some weed. So they get medium.

Score: 16

What do you call a midget fortune teller that just robbed a bank? A small medium at large.

Score: 11

What did I say to the midget when she asked me to bang her? I don’t get down like that

Score: 2

What do you call a psychic midget who escapes from jail ? A small medium at large.

Score: 7

A midget walks into a bar He wants to get a beer but he forgot his wallet. He asks the man next to him

"Excuse me? Do you have a dollar? Im a a little short"

Score: 2

What do you call a short person who summersaults out of a circus cannon? A midget spinner

Score: 3

Did you hear about the midget who got pickpocketed? How could they stoop so low?!

Score: 13

A midget psychic escapes from prison. News headlines: SMALL MEDIUM AT LARGE!

Score: 2

If a midget with Downs Syndrome is running late, are you allowed to say they're a little tardy?

Score: 7

I dated a midget for eight months Had to break up with her though, because her nose was always in my business.

Score: 3

Did you hear about the psychic midget that robbed a bank? Police are saying he's a small medium at large

Score: 2

A midget fortune teller escaped from prison. He's a small medium at large.

Score: 2

What do you call a midget psychic who escaped from jail!? A small medium at large!

Score: 3

What do you call a midget that can pick up an elephant? Sir.

Score: 7