Just got a job as senior director at Old MacDonald's Farm... I’m the CIEIO
I was walking passed a farm and a sign said ‘Duck, eggs’. I thought, that’s an unnecessary comma. And then it hit me.
My boyfriend started a bee farm to help save the bees I think he's a keeper
Old McDonald had a farm... 2.71828 √(-1) 2.71828 √(-1) (5-5)
I was walking past a farm and a sign said, “Duck, eggs.” I thought, “That’s an unnecessary comma…” – and then it hit me.
After years of poor yields, Old McDonald will have to sell his farm... ... to cover what he e-i-e-i owes.
My friend lives in Colorado and wanted to start growing weed on his cow farm. I told him it wasn’t a good idea. The steaks would be too high.
Why did the cows return to the marijuana farm? It was the pot calling the cattle back.
Just got the job at the old McDonald farm... I'm now the CIEIO
Do you remember when people didn't have to make pop culture references to make a joke? Pepperidge Farm remembers.
The hard of hearing stoner... got really disappointed when he finally arrived at his uncle's wheat farm.
Latvian man goes to buy iPhone..
Premise ridiculous! iPhone cannot be use to farm potato.
Also, salesman die of malnourish.
What do a farm and hospital have in common? Too many vegetables for one person to take care of.
What kind of farm has lots of books but no livestock?
Barns and no-bulls.
(This joke was made up by my 7 year-old cousin.)
Why did the tractor sell medicines?
Because it was a farm assist!
... I'm sorry...
I got a job as the senior administrator of the old McDonald farm I’m the CIEIO
I have ADHD and have troubles getting to sleep. Doctor recommended counting sheep... 1 sheep. 2 sheep. 3 sheep. Cow. Duck. Horse. *Old MacDonald had a farm* and bingo was his name-o!
Two windmills are in a wind farm.
One turns to the other and asks, "What kind of music do you like?"
The other says, "I'm a huge metal fan."
In 1939, an unusual farm animal named Gertrude became the first cow to climb to the peak of Everest carrying gear for the climbers, setting a world record that still stands unbroken. Since then, the steaks have never been higher.
When I'm single I go straight to the farm and collect eggs It's the best place place to pick up chicks.
I got a promotion at the farm I'm the new CIEIO
Why is it risky to tell secrets on a farm? The corn have ears, the potatoes have eyes and the beanstalk.
I got really hungry when we visited the Alpaca Farm, next time Alpaca lunch.
The internet connection in my farm was really sketchy, so I moved the modem to the barn. Now I have stable wifi.
What do blacks and apples have in common?
If they're not being sold on a farm they're hanging from a tree.
Da ho, no I didnt.
There was a bad storm that broke the chicken coop causing a farmer to lose a few chickens.
After the storm he asked his farm hand how many chickens were left.
“16 chickens, sir.”
“Alright, round them up, please.”
“20 chickens, sir.”
My boyfriend just started a bee farm to help save the bees I think he's a keeper
I got a new job today at Old MacDonald’s Farm I’m going to be the CIEIO
McDonald’s fired CEO Steve Easterbrook has already got a new job at Old McDonalds farm He's their CIEIO
A teacher was quizzing Johnny on farm animals
Teacher: "Johnny, what does the chicken give you?"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
A married couple were fighting... ...when they drove past a farm full of pigs. The husband then asked his wife, "Family of yours?" The wife looked at the pigs, then replied, "Yea, in-laws."
I just got a job as Senior director at old MacDonald's farm I'm the CIEIO
I don’t know what to say. Someone stole all the fruit from my farm in Georgia. I’m peachless.
Two cow talking in a field
The first one ask :
"aren't you afraid about this terrible disease from the neighbor's farm called" mad cow" ? "
The second one looked at her, surprised, and answered :
" I don't care... I'm a rabbit"
After I left my farm to join the army, I learned that my wife bought a new tractor to replace my labor. She wrote me a "John Deere" letter.
A man goes to a farm to purchase the most pregnant looking goat Long story short that kids is how I met your mother
I accidentally planted some marijuana seeds on my farm It's all gone to pot
The farmer's wife just ran off with a farm equipment salesman. She wrote him a John Deere letter.
You shouldn't say "i helped my uncle jack off a horse" Instead you should say "I spent the summer working on my uncle's husbandry farm."
Bars ordered to close by government should file for farm income support ...after all they're business is barley, corn and rye.
Tried to set up my friend with a guy who works on a dill farm She said it’s a dill breaker.
A kiss from what on the farm would cause the end of the world? Alpaca lips.
I was walking past a farm and read the sign "Duck, eggs". I thought to myself that is an unnecessary comma... then it hit me!
What’s the name of a Mexican farm worker who has a ring of keys? (Not racist I swear) Cesar Llaves
Why dont you find any princesses at knotta berry farm? Because the only thing you find on a farm is a hoe
On a wind farm in Texas, one windmill asked the other if they liked country music. The windmill replied. I’m a big metal fan.
Where does an IT Professional buy his agricutural produce? At the Server-Farm.
I'm glad I'm not a farm animal. If I was, I'd be in a baaaaaaa'd mooooooo'd
If I ever make a weed farm... It'll be called "The Pottery"
How do you know a farm is in russia When their cows say "Moooooo-ther russia"
What's the difference between a singer and a farm animal that wants plastic surgery? One's Iggy Pop. The other's piggy op.
What farm animal makes the best cook? Pigs. They are always bakin'
A teacher asks her first grade class about farm animals...
Teacher: "What does a fat chicken give you?"
Class: "Chicken nuggets!!!"
Teacher: "What does a fat pig give you?"
Class:"Bacon and ham!!!"
Teacher: "What does a fat cow give you?"
What do you call Santa Claus working on a farm?
A jolly rancher!
Where do farm animals get their groceries? The pharmacy.
Did you hear about the dairy farmer who got kicked off his farm for not having any livestock? It was a no cows eviction.
What did the father buffalo say to his son when he left the farm? Bison