Pokemon Jokes

Contents

Funniest Pokemon Jokes

What’s a stalker and a Pokemon nerd got in common? They both hide in the bushes trying to get a Pikachu.

Why are Taylor Swift's songs always a hit? (WARNING POKEMON JOKE) Because swift never misses.

Funny Pokemon Jokes

A Pokemon go user walks into a bar Because he was too busy looking at his phone to notice it

My wife said she would leave me if I didn't stop making Pokémon references... 'You need to make a choice' she said 'It's either me or the stupid pokémon references!'

'I understand', I replied, holding back tears. 'Sandra, I choose you!!!'

Don't be frightened if you see a Pokemon Go player outside your bathroom window. He's just trying to catch a pikachu.

What Pokémon would you catch in Rio De Janeiro? Zikachu.

This might be offensive, but what do you call a jewish pokémon trainer? Ash.

I wish I could date Pokemon GO's servers Because then she'd go down on me 5 times a day.

I've lost all my pokemon cards in a house fire... I've only got Ash now.

I just lost all my Pokemon cards in a house fire. I only have Ash now.

Pokémon Go is more popular than Tinder. Another app which requires you to swipe to find monsters in your surroundings.

Why do Pokémon have eyes? So they can pikachu

I don't need a girlfriend, I can just play Pokémon Go The servers go down on me every day

So I finally got Pokémon GO... I still haven't caught any Counter-Terrorists.

What do Pokemon Go and Tinder have in common? Both give you a good chance of catching something

My favorite pokemon joke What did pikachu say when ash fell off a cliff? Pikachu, that's all he can say.

Why is Pokemon quite realistic? Because in the games, Bug-types are effective against Dark-types. Just like malaria in Africa.

How do they play Pokemon Go in Gaza Strip? They grab a round rock from the ground and say: "Pick-a-jew"!

What do the Police and Pokémon have in common? They gotta catch 'Jamal

A joke my 8 year old brother told me. G rating Why dont you take a pokemon to the bathroom.





Because it might pi-ka-chu

I tried to go into a restaurant playing Pokemon go. I couldn't get in though. The servers were too busy.

I can't find a single Ekans here in Ireland with Pokemon Go. Thanks, St Patrick

What do a peeping Tom and Pokemon fanboy have in common? Both hide in the bushes trying to get a Pikachu!

Dj Khaled is like a Pokemon All he does is shout his name

My wife is like Pokemon Soon as I throw out my balls she runs off.

What does Pokemon and a prison break have in common? You gotta catch Jamal.

A Pokemon Go player walks into a bar. And a tree. And a wall. And into a lake.

A guy walks into a bar... his face gets bruised, his phone shatters on the concrete, and the Pokemon gets away.

If you played pokemon in Brazil, you might catch a Zikachu

What is the best part of Pokemon Go? I can ride my bike indoors and professor oak can't do anything to stop me.

Which character of Pokemon is a jew? Ash

I've been going to the gym for 3 weeks now with no results.. What Pokemon do I use to lose weight?

I lost all my pokémon cards in a housefire.. All I have now is Ash.

I lost all my Pokemon cards in a house fire I only have Ash now.

What's the difference between a Pokemon Go player and a Facebook user?? Pokemon Go players are only wasting their own time ;)

Why don't you take Pokémon to the bathroom with you? ... because they might Pikachu!

Why shouldn't you let a Pokemon take a shower with you? He might Pikachu.

What do you call a Jewish Pokemon trainer in World War 2? A: Ash

Who's the most famous jewish Pokemon trainer? Ash

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New Pokemon Jokes

If Brock from pokemon had a child, what would you call it? Simp-son

Why should you never shower while playing Pokemon? The Pokemon Peekachu

What do police officers and pokemon have in common? attacking the enemy until their weak then trying to catch them.

Did you hear about the Pokemon that has Covid-19? It was Koffing.

Which Pokemon was appointed to head the department of agriculture? Chard czar

What pokemon is made of a SR latch and a NOR gate? A SNOR latch.

When I first moved to the US, I learned English by playing Pokemon Red It was super effective

I am trying to become a good Pokemon Trainer. But my dad keeps releasing all the rats I catch

In other news, 151 types of pokemon have been discovered! Number #25 will shock you!

Did you hear about Michael Jackson and the pokemon gen 5 controversy? He had to skip it because he couldn't choose between black or white

Ash finally became a Pokemon champion this season It was pretty Onyxpected

Hey girl, are we playing Pokemon Go? Because I just got a peek achu. ;-)

What do you call it when you have too many pokemon in a tree? Pika Pika BOOM BOOM!

How do you get a pokemon erect. Pp up.

If you could choose between living in a world of eternal peace, or in a world where humans live side by side with Pokémon .. Which starter would you choose ?

What Pokemon sneezes the most? Pika-choo

Them: you can't keep making pokemon jokes! Me: Wynaut

What do Pokemon do when they look at you through a window? They pikachu.

How do you get pikachu on a bus? You pokemon

How does a Pokemon trainer respond to depression? With an escape rope.

If I got a penny for every time I wasn't cool I'd have... NO PENNYS!
*whips out deck of Pokemon cards*

What do Pokemon trainers take when they can't get an erection? PP UP

How do dragon-type Pokemon solve their disputes? They let bagons be bagons

What do ICE and Pokemon have in common? Gotta catch 'em all!

Nintendo just announced they're changing Pokemon Sword & Shield to Pokemon Circle & Oval After Game Freak decided to cut every corner.

How do you get Pikachu on a crowded train... ....you Pokemon

What did the father pokemon say to his son? Look at me when I speakachu

A guy is getting arrested The guy says: Officer, why are you arresting me? This is **medical** marijuana, I have the card right here in my pocket.

Officer: First of all this is crack cocaine. Secondly, that’s a pokémon card.

What do you call a jewish pokemon trainer Ash
Stole it from someone else lol

How do you get a sleeping Pokemon to s*** itself? Snorlaxative

Slghtly offensive, don't kill me. What do you call Jewish Pokemon trainer?

Ash

How do you get Ryan Reynolds on a bus You Pokemon

How do you know if a Pokemon likes you? They’ll take a peek at chu

You know, Pokemon are ODDISH!!! But sea mammals are OTTER!!!!

I thought giving my GF a Pokémon would make her love me But she told me "I'm not gonna Raichu a love song"

What do you get when you cross a pokemon with a hedgehog Regrets

Where do baby Pokemon come from? Pokeballs

If Pokemon was a real life thing I feel like the phrase gotta catch em all would be in reference to S.T.Ds..... and I would have won a long time ago....

I miss the Pokemon games that let you name your rival, to whatever you wanted. Now apparently certain names are "offensive" and "racist".

I got a chance to play the new Pokemon game set in London but the pokemon only knew Acid Splash, Cut, and SelfDestruct

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Long Pokemon Jokes

Did you hear that Auschwitz had to ask visitors to stop playing Pokemon Go?

They got tired of people pretending to be Ash.








Edit: Wow thank you for the gold mates! Hopefully none of you Jews will try to steal it from me... kidding.

For those of you who were offended... please try to take it easy. It's a joke. You should find humor in everything. Life's more fun that way.

I was plying Pokemon GO in the park the other day

The craze of Pokemon GO may well have died off for most people but I still love it and play all the time.


I was in my local park the other day when my absolute favourite Pokemon appeared!
It was over by a group of girls so i tried to contain my excitement so I didn't draw attention to myself and look stupid...but I couldn't help looking up from my phone over to where it was.


One of the girls noticed me and what i was doing. She stormed over and shouted 'What do you think you are doing you perv?!'


I tried to explain, 'I'm sorry I didn't mean to stare, I was just trying to get a Pikachu!'

I went to the doctor and he said you have the blood pressure of a 14 year old kid

I said great. He said, not so great, a 14 year old *American* child. You got four months to live.

Kids are so fat these days the first letters they learn in the alphabet are not ABC, it's KFC

Kids are so fat these days they use cheat codes to play Pokemon Go

Kids are so fat these days the reason why they use smart phone to play music is because they think a Sony Walkman must involve exercise.

Kids are so fat these days when their mothers tie their shoes the kid has to take her word for it.

Kids are so fat these days those benches on the school bus are now considered a seat for one

You try telling kids are fat and they get all upset. "Tell us something we don't know, old man" I said "Salad actually tastes good."

But we shouldn't make fun of fat kids, they got enough on their plate already.

Top Ten Worst Pickup Lines

10. You remind me so much of Pokemon that I just want to pick-at-choo.

9. I’m new in town. Can I have directions to your house?

8. I misplaced my Teddy Bear. Will you sleep with me?

7. Wow, your legs must be really tired because you have been running through my mind all night!

6. What's that in your eye? Oh, it must be a twinkle from when our eyes met!

5. Did you clean your pants with Windex, because I can totally see myself in them.

4. Those must be space pants, because your legs are outta this world.

3. Hi, my name is Justin… Justin Credible.

2. I may not be Fred Flintstone, but can still make your Bedrock.

1. Is your name Visa, because you’re everywhere I want to be.

Pokémon Go

Yesterday evening my little brother came home all sad and angry. I asked him what happened and apparently a group of kids was mad at him because he beat their gym at the park nearby.

“Don’t you dare to come here ever again or we’ll beat you down!” they threatened.

I took my phone and went to the park… they immediately came near me all surprised “Wow, you’re all grown up and still play Pokémon! What’s your team??”

“Team Rocket” I said.

I beat them down and stole their phones. Selling a Samsung S4, two S5 mini and an iPhone 6. Pm me if interested

Breeding features are currently in development for Pokemon Go, to be released as a full-featured standalone app that will utilize the same account to communicate between apps...

...according to industry rumors, this supplemental app will be called Pokemon Come.

Roger Waters is playing Pokemon Blue on a Game Boy...

A younger guy gets up the nerve to walk up to him and say "That pretty cool. Were you always a Pokemon fan?"

"Oh yeah, the Game Boy was just the coolest thing when it came out" he replies.

"I remember, yeah, it really was. You know, it's funny, I played mine so much I used to have a name for it. It was like a friend you could always turn to, you know?" The young man realizes that he's saying stupid things in front of his idol Roger Waters and looks away in embarrassment.

"Oh definitely. I had a name for mine too. Who didn't? What was yours?

The young man sheepishly responds,"Well, I'm not gonna lie mine was named Mycroft, you know, like Shelock Holmes's bother." He looks a away for a second but then returns, "What was yours named?"

Roger looks at him with a knowing glint in his eye "I'll tell you the name of the Game Boy. I called it 'Riding the Gravy Train'."



(This might be an obscure joke, I don't know. Be gentle.)

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