Amish Jokes

We conducted an online survey.... ...and found that out of the world's population, 0% of people are Amish.

Why is it hard for the Amish to travel? Their transit system is a little buggy.

What did Sean Connery say when he noticed that there wasn't any electricity in the Pennsylvania countryside? "Shomething'sh Amish..."

Why don't Amish people water ski? Because their horses would drown.

You hear about the Amish prostitute? She slept with 10 Mennonite

I had a one night stand with an Amish guy the other week... He never called me back.

How many Amish people does it take to change a lightbulb? A what?

I like sleeping with amish women that way i don't have to call the next day

What goes clop-clop,bang-bang,clop-clop? Amish drive-by.

What goes "Clop clop clop, bang bang bang, clop clop clop"? An Amish drive-by shooting.

What goes "Clippity Clop Bang Bang, Clippity Clop Bang Bang"? An Amish drive by shooting

What goes clop, clop, bang bang bangbangbang!clop,clop,clop? An amish driveby

What goes, "Clip clop clip clop clip clop clip clop BANG BANG clip clop clip clop clip clop..." ? An Amish drive-by shooting.

I just made a scathing video mocking the Amish I can't wait till they see it

What does it take to please an Amish woman? Two Mennonite.

What goes "Clip clop, clip clop, clip clop, clip clop, BANG, clip clop, clip clop"? Amish drive by shooting.

What goes CLOP CLOP CLOP, BANG BANG, CLOP CLOP CLOP? An Amish drive-by shooting

Did you hear about the Amish flu? First you get a little hoarse, then you get a little buggy.

I went to a crazy Amish strip club. It was bonnetless.

Did you hear about the married Amish woman having an affair? She loved two Mennonite.

Q: What do the Amish call a jar full of honeybees? A: A vibrator.

Amish Hooker What's an Amish Hooker do?

Ten Mennonite!

(Mennonite link on the front page made me think of this one.)

edit: I accidentally a ")", but I'm getting a kick out of the weird comments. :-)

My parents said I don’t have to come home until the street lights come on but we live in an Amish neighborhood so I think they just don’t love me

Why did the Amish woman get pregnant? Because she was seeing too many Mennonite.

clip clop clip clop clip clop BANG clip clop clip clop Amish drive-by shooting.

How do you make an Amish woman happy? 3 Mennonite.

Where do you take an amish kid for their birthday party? Build-A-Barn

Had to dump my Amish girlfriend.... she drove me buggy.

How many men does it take to get an Amish woman pregnant? Two men a nite.

What makes the sound 'Clip clop bang clip clop'? An Amish drive-by

The Amish Space Program is at a stalemate Jebediah and the boys just cannot figure out how to get the horses to go vertical.

There's been a recent surge in the number of male crossdressers in the Amish community. Be careful. Women you might see during the day, may actually be mennonite.

I slept with an Amish girl last night. I don't think I'll call her.

What does a police officer in rural Pennsylvania say when he sees suspicious behavior? "Hmm, something's Amish here."

What goes "clip-clop-clip-clop-bang?" An Amish drive by.

Did you hear about the Amish hookers? They sleep with three Mennonite.

What do you call an Amish woman who just cheated on her husband? Poly-Esther. (Please don’t kill me I’m stupid.)

Why was the Amish girl kicked out of her community? Too Mennonite

What goes "clip-clop", "bang bang", "clip-clop", "bang bang"? Amish drive-by.

What goes "clip-clop, clip-clop, clip-clop, BANG BANG"? An Amish drive-by shooting.