What do you call a book club that's been stuck on the same book for thousands of years?
Edit: Thanks for Frontpage I will read thru all this when I get home and yeah I'm not an Atheist I'm a Christian
Most of the year I'm an atheist but I typically start to believe during the holidays. I guess you could say I'm **Eggnog**stic. ^I'll ^^show ^^^myself ^^^^out
What do you get if you cross an insomniac with an atheist and a dyslexic? Someone who stays up all night, wondering if there is a file after death.
What does a dyslexic atheist with insomnia do? Stays up all night wondering if there really is a dog.
A rabbi, a priest, and an atheist walk into a bar. The bartender sees them and says, "What is this, a joke?!"
An atheist walks into a bar that's full, and someone gets up and offers him a space. Why doesn't he take it? Because then he'd be a theist.
A vegan, atheist and crossfittter walk into a bar...... I knew this because they told everyone within two minutes
I'm confused. My professor told me Nietzsche was 'an atheist who worshiped at the altar of nihilism'. Is nothing sacred?
What does a dyslexic atheist with insomnia do with their time? They stay up late at night wondering if there is a Dog.
A careless hunter accidentally shot my atheist friend in the side with a shotgun. The near-death experience made him a holier man.
A man asks an atheist if he had the ability to choose, which fictional character would he be The atheist replied with " God "
The Christian says: “The Jews and Muslims are wrong.”
The Muslim says: “The Christians and Jews are wrong.”
The Jew says: “The Muslims and Christians are wrong.”
The Atheist says: “You *all* are *correct*.”
A priest and an atheist are walking down a road. The priest turns to the atheist and says... You’re never going to believe this.
I'm an atheist with a god-complex... ...which explains why all my highschool teachers always said I never believed in myself.
How many atheists does it take to change a light bulb? One. The atheist actually changes the light bulb, rather than praying that it will be done.
What's the difference between a theist extremist and an atheist extremist? One wants you to think like them, the other just wants you to think.
I asked an atheist to solve an exponential equation, he couldn't. He doesn't believe in higher powers.
An atheist and a vegan walk into a bar... The only reason I know this is because they both told everybody.
Wanna hear a joke?
A priest, a rabbi, and an atheist walk into a bar.
Then they get yelled because they aren’t practicing social distancing.
In fact, religious persons are not much different from atheists…
There are 4,000 religions in the world.
A religious person believes that 3,999 religions are wrong.
An atheist believes that 4,000 religions are wrong.
An Irishman, a Frenchman, two conspiracy theorists, a priest, three cheerleaders, Elon Musk, an atheist and a rabbi walked into a bar. Ah, the good old days.
You know what the worst thing about being an atheist is...? Nobody to talk to when you're getting a blow job....
What does an atheist call the meeting of Muhammad, Moses, and Joseph Smith? A non-prophet organization
I told my my math teacher i’m atheist while doing exponential functions. I told her I cannot do them because i don’t believe in higher powers.
What do you get when you cross an Atheist with a Jehovah's Witness? Someone who rings the doorbell for no apparent reason
I know a guy who is an atheist with dyslexia. It's terrible. He's absolutely believes there's no such thing as a dog.
an atheist dies and
an atheist dies and talks with god .
-god: what is your religion ?
-atheist:i am an atheist.
-god:wtf dude? still? i am in front of you !
A Priest, a Rabbi and an Atheist walk into a bar... They guy behind them says "You guys probably should have ducked"
A man joins an atheist club at his school and at the first meeting says "Hello, I'm Christian" and the leader of the club kicks him out. It's difficult being an atheist named Christian.
What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an atheist and a dyslexic? You get a guy that stays awake all night wondering if there really is a dog.
An excuse to piss on other people's beliefs you know nothing about while thinking your own weirdo beliefs are absolute truth without any sort of proof.
Good thing I'm an atheist so I'm above all that.
The Atheist Church of America just filed a new tax status with the IRS.
They are a non-prophet organization.
My husband is a dyslexic atheist insomniac. He lies awake at night wondering if theres a dog.
An insomniac atheist dyslexic with DID walks into a bar. The two are up all night arguing about the existence of doG.
Do they exist!?
I’ve noticed lots of Presbyterian and Catholic hospitals, but I’ve never seen any atheist hospitals.
I don’t think they exist.