Only Funny Jokes

Funniest Jokes

Calm down about the Net Neutrality thing... Paying additional money to access certain sites will give you a sense of pride and accomplishment.

If your surprised that Jeffrey Epstein commited suicide this morning Imagine how surprised he must have been.

V V

*Edit: seems like the ctrl key on my keyboard is not working

If I had a $ for every post I've seen today about Net Neutrality... I'd have enough money to view a post next year about Net Neutrality.

Everyone in Hawaii is mad about the malfunction of the early warning system. Those fools. Hawaii **IS** the early warning system.

Call me a racist if you want, but south of the border is a sea of violence, corruption and stupidity I wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole. I just thank my lucky stars I live in Canada.

Edit: Sorry.

New Jokes

After passing away, George Bush, Barack Obama and Donald Trump are going for a interview with God. God asks Bush, "What do you believe in?"

Bush answers, "I believe in the free market, and the strong American nation!"

God is impressed by Bush and tells him, "Great , come sit on the chair on my right"

Next, God asks Obama, "What do you believe in?"

Obama answers, "I believe in the power of democracy, helping the poor, world peace, etc."

God is really impressed by Obama and tells him, "Well done , come sit on the chair on my left.

Finally, God asks Trump, "What do you believe in?"

Trump answers, "I believe you're sitting on my chair."

How's y'all's summer bods looking? Mines looking like I have a great personality.

What o‌‌ne f‌‌ood r‌‌educes a‌‌ w‌‌oman's s‌‌ex d‌‌rive b‌‌y 9‌‌0%? Wedding c‌‌ake.

As a non-American, I love seeing Americans saying Happy 4th of July. It's the only time Americans pronounce dates correctly.

Well, a father and son from Germany went to a zoo in Australia So upon arrival the little son pointed at the first animal he saw. Staring at a kangaroo he asked: "Daddy what is this animal called?"

"Well, my son, this animal lives especially in Australia and it's called a dangerou." answered dad.

The son looked around and saw a lion standing on a hill. His eyes began to shine and he yelled: "Wow dad! What kind of animal is that?!"

The father said: "This is the king of the jungle and it's called a dangerou."

Suddenly they heard the sound of an elephant nearby. They went a little closer and the son said: "Daddy we don't have these big animals back in Germany, right? What is it called?"

Father replied: "Correct, son, this animal is one of the biggest animals in the world and it's called a dangerou."

The little boy frowned and asked: "But dad, weren't the other animals also called dangerou?"

"Correct again!" father said. "You still have a lot to learn little boy, but once you understand the English language, you can read the signs saying 'all animals are dangerous'."

I never get any of the school shooting jokes they must be aimed at a younger audience