What happens when the thermometer breaks during your rectal examination? Mercury is in Uranus
What would be the first thing communists do if they ruled the solar system? Rename Uranus to Ouranus
During my check-up I asked my doctor, "Do you think I'll live a long and healthy live?"
He replied, "I doubt it. Mercury is in Uranus right now"
I said, "I don't believe in any of that astrology bullshit doc"
"Neither do I. My thermometer just broke"
If you shrunk the solar system down so that the sun was at the top of your head and the orbit of Pluto was at your feet, Uranus would be right about where you'd expect it to be.
My boyfriend asked me how many planets are in our solar system.
And I said. "Eight"
And he said, "Nope, only 7, after I destroy Uranus tonight."
Talking about planets with my nephew. He asked if you could Plow thru Uranus because it's all gas
Nasa scientists became fed up of jokes on Uranus and decided to change it's name It's now called Urrectum
71% water + 29% land = Earth
100% land + 0% Chocolate = Mars
100% land + 0% Fertility = Venus
100% land and lava + 0% Freddy = Mercury
100% land + 0% Dog = Pluto
100% gas = Uranus
Joke from my dad Do a handstand and stare up at the night sky at 10:00 pm. When you do, call your parents and tell them to look outside. When they do, they will be able to see Uranus from where they stand
Which fast food joint would you like to see in space? Personally, I'd love to see Five Guys on Uranus
What's the difference between SpaceX and SpaceY? One wants to go to Mars and the other wants Uranus
Today is the anniversary of the discovery of Uranus! Hershel was actually looking for the clitoris but found Uranus instead.
NASA sent a probe to all of the planets in our solar system, but quit after Uranus They found it to be a shithole.
What's the difference between Uranus and your butt? One is huge, round and surround by a cloud of smelly methane gas. The other one's a planet.
I can't believe it. You know how Pluto was found to be a dwarf planet? Well, another planet is actually an imposter. Uranus is a black hole.
Someone once said to me 'You know, Pluto is more interesting to me than Uranus ' I said 'Thanks. Can you please finish the prostate exam?'
I’m not sure why this new black hole image is such a big deal I’ve had a photo of Uranus for years!
Why do we measure the length between Neptune and Uranus? Because we want to see how far the brown line goes!
LPT - While stargazing on a romantic evening, never say this to your wife: Uranus is a gas giant.