Uranus Jokes

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Funniest Uranus Jokes

What happens when the thermometer breaks during your rectal examination? Mercury is in Uranus

What would be the first thing communists do if they ruled the solar system? Rename Uranus to Ouranus

Funny Uranus Jokes

During my check-up I asked my doctor, "Do you think I'll live a long and healthy live?" He replied, "I doubt it. Mercury is in Uranus right now"

I said, "I don't believe in any of that astrology bullshit doc"

"Neither do I. My thermometer just broke"

If you shrunk the solar system down so that the sun was at the top of your head and the orbit of Pluto was at your feet, Uranus would be right about where you'd expect it to be.

If a rectal thermometer breaks in your butt There’s mercury in Uranus

My boyfriend asked me how many planets are in our solar system. And I said. "Eight"
And he said, "Nope, only 7, after I destroy Uranus tonight."

Why did SpaceX go to Mars Becuase SpaceY already went to Uranus

I wish my name was Voyager 2... So I could have the first encounter with Uranus

What the the planet Jupiter say to Neptune? I can see Uranus from here.

Did you know that Earth can fit into Uranus 63 times? 64 if you relax enough.

Talking about planets with my nephew. He asked if you could Plow thru Uranus because it's all gas

The Earth may be flat But Uranus is round

Saturn and Neptune are the butt cheeks of the solar system Uranus is between them

What time of year is Mercury and Uranus closest together? Flu season

Nasa scientists became fed up of jokes on Uranus and decided to change it's name It's now called Urrectum

The Planets 71% water + 29% land = Earth

100% land + 0% Chocolate = Mars

100% land + 0% Fertility = Venus

100% land and lava + 0% Freddy = Mercury

100% land + 0% Dog = Pluto

100% gas = Uranus

The person who discovered Uranus Went down in the anals of history

Why is Uranus classified as a planet and not as a Black Hole?

Why does Jupiter have farts? Because it’s a gas giant.

Joke from my dad Do a handstand and stare up at the night sky at 10:00 pm. When you do, call your parents and tell them to look outside. When they do, they will be able to see Uranus from where they stand

What is the core of Uranus called Urectum

BREAKING NEWS : URANUS IS NOT A PLANET ..... you're sitting on it.

Which fast food joint would you like to see in space? Personally, I'd love to see Five Guys on Uranus

Why should you Keep the earth clean? Because It’s not Uranus

What's the difference between SpaceX and SpaceY? One wants to go to Mars and the other wants Uranus

Giant methane storms on Uranus Ex-post from r/science

I saw Uranus from my dorm room last night... ...Next time close your Urcurtains.

Today is the anniversary of the discovery of Uranus! Hershel was actually looking for the clitoris but found Uranus instead.

NASA sends out a probe to Uranus Geeks around the world giggle.

NASA sends probe to Uranus people everywhere giggle

NASA sent a probe to all of the planets in our solar system, but quit after Uranus They found it to be a shithole.

What's the difference between Uranus and your butt? One is huge, round and surround by a cloud of smelly methane gas. The other one's a planet.

Why did the astronomer get arrested? He tried to look at Uranus with a telescope.

What does Uranus want the most? Venis

The Black Hole is getting too much attention... Uranus is missing out...

I can't believe it. You know how Pluto was found to be a dwarf planet? Well, another planet is actually an imposter. Uranus is a black hole.

Someone once said to me 'You know, Pluto is more interesting to me than Uranus ' I said 'Thanks. Can you please finish the prostate exam?'

Damn girl are you a planet? Because i can see Uranus through my binoculars at night.

What are the names of your favourite celestial bodies? Titan Uranus

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New Uranus Jokes

I looked thru the telescope and saw Uranus Looks like a black hole to me.

I may not officially work at NASA... But that doesn’t mean I’m not on a mission to Uranus ?

I’m not sure why this new black hole image is such a big deal I’ve had a photo of Uranus for years!

Why do we measure the length between Neptune and Uranus? Because we want to see how far the brown line goes!

Why doesn't sound and a planet go well together? Because Uranus Hertz

Why is Uranus jealous of Jupiter? Because when it comes to moons- Jupiter has 69.

LPT - While stargazing on a romantic evening, never say this to your wife: Uranus is a gas giant.

If you're a planet Then I'm NASA
Cause I'm coming for Uranus

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Long Uranus Jokes

Guy walks into a bar with 2 sheep, a pillow, and a stone letter 'N'.

Guy walks into a bar with 2 sheep, a pillow, and a stone letter 'N'.
Bartender says, 'what's with all that?'
Disgusted, the man explains, "The pillow is down, the sheep are female and from Thailand, and this letter weighs 16oz and made from the stone of another planet."
Bartender: 'that doesn't really explain anything'
guy: I met a beautiful, exotic woman and when she asked 'what is your wish my master?' I thought she was a submissive not a genie, but she gave me what she thought I wished for...2 Thai ewe, down, and a hard, pound 'N' of Uranus

The Shaggy Dog Joke

One day I was walking my shaggy dog down the street when a man asked to pet him. The man told me that my dog was the shaggiest dog that he had ever seen and that I should enter him in the local shaggy dog contest. So I walked to my local town hall and payed the fifteen dollar admission fee. I walked my dog to the first judge and he said “that is a really shaggy dog.” The next judge said “ your dog is very shaggy”. And then finally the final judge said “That’s the shaggiest dog I’ve ever seen, you win” he then told me how I now qualify for the state shaggy dog contest. So I took the train to the capital, then the bus to the arena. I payed the 25 dollar admission and walked onto the stage. There was at least 50 people in the audience so I was pretty nervous. I walked my dog to the first judge and he said “that is a really shaggy dog.” The next judge said “ your dog is very shaggy”. And then finally the final judge said “That’s the shaggiest dog I’ve ever seen, you win” he then told me how I now qualify for the regional shaggy dog contest. I took a plane to the city that it will be held in. I payed the 30 dollar admission and went in. After going into the park where the contest took place I noticed that nearly 100 people were in the audience. I walked my dog to the first judge and he said “that is a really shaggy dog.” The next judge said “ your dog is very shaggy”. And then finally the final judge said “That’s the shaggiest dog I’ve ever seen, you win” he then told me how I now qualify for the national contest. I flew to New York City to were the contest will be held. I took the bus to the stadium where the contest is being held. I payed the 50 dollar admission and walked onto the field. I walked my dog to the first judge and he said “that is a really shaggy dog.” The next judge said “ your dog is very shaggy”. And then finally the final judge said “That’s the shaggiest dog I’ve ever seen, you win” he then told me how I now qualify for the world championship. I flew to London where the championship is being held. I took the bus to Wembley stadium and payed the 75 dollar admission and walked onto the field. I walked my dog to the first judge and he said “that is a really shaggy dog.” The next judge said “ your dog is very shaggy”. And then finally the final judge said “That’s the shaggiest dog I’ve ever seen, you win” he then told me how I now qualify for the solar system contest. So I called up Elon musk and he lent me a spaceship to fly to Uranus for the contest.
I payed the 100 star buck admission and the walked in to the arena. I walked my dog to the first judge and he said “hebsb hn hsbsbko” Which loosely translates to “that is a really shaggy dog.” The next judge said knxbxbxyx hgf sjk which loosely translates to“ your dog is very shaggy”. And then finally the final judge said “cavsvsgats gsvewcdr idjdh” which loosely translates to “That’s the shaggiest dog I’ve ever seen you win” he then told me how I now qualify for the Milky Way finals. So I flew the spaceship to planet #562781926. I payed the 300 star buck
admission. I walked my dog to the first judge and he said “hebsb hn hsbsbko” Which loosely translates to “that is a really shaggy dog.” The next judge said knxbxbxyx hgf sjk which loosely translates to“ your dog is very shaggy”. And then finally the final judge said “cavsvsgats gsvewcdr idjdh” which loosely translates to “That’s the shaggiest dog I’ve ever seen you win”he then told me how I now qualify for the universe contest. So I took my spaceship to galaxy #2075025062. And then I landed in front of the stadium. I payed the 350 star buck admission and walked in. I walked my dog to the first judge and he said “hebsb hn hsbsbko” Which loosely translates to “that is a really shaggy dog.” The next judge said knxbxbxyx hgf sjk which loosely translates to“ your dog is very shaggy”. And then finally the final judge said “cavsvsgats gsvewcdr idjdh” which loosely translates to “That’s the shaggiest dog I’ve ever seen you win”he then told me how I now qualify for the dimension finals. I took my spaceship to the center of the universe and landed on planet #lol69420666xd and landed in front of the arena. I payed the 450 star buck admission and walked in. I walked my dog to the first judge and he said “hebsb hn hsbsbko” Which loosely translates to “that is a really shaggy dog.” The next judge said knxbxbxyx hgf sjk which loosely translates to“ your dog is very shaggy”. And then finally the final judge said “cavsvsgats gsvewcdr idjdh” which loosely translates to “That’s the shaggiest dog I’ve ever seen you win” then he told me how I qualified for the everything known contest. So I took my spaceship to Wyoming and payed the 189 dollar admission and walked in. I walked my dog to the first judge and he said “hebsb hn hsbsbko” Which loosely translates to “that is a really shaggy dog.” The next judge said knxbxbxyx hgf sjk which loosely translates to“ your dog is very shaggy”. And then finally the final judge said “cavsvsgats gsvewcdr idjdh” which loosely translates to “That’s the shaggiest dog I’ve ever seen, you win” he then told me how I qualified for the every thing that isn’t known contest. So I flew to Dimension hebdbgxjdnebe and went to the arena. I walked my dog to the first judge and he said “hebsb hn hsbsbko” Which loosely translates to “that is a really shaggy dog.” The next judge said knxbxbxyx hgf sjk which loosely translates to“ your dog is very shaggy”. And then finally the final judge said “@&$)(%#^*>. hugywhd” which loosely translates to “Your dog isn’t even that shaggy, how did you get this far”

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