My Tinder bio says that I have a corner office with views of the entire city, drive a $500,000 vehicle, and that I'm paid to travel. My dates never seem too happy when I tell them I'm a bus driver.
My Tinder bio says I have a corner office with views of the entire city, drive a $500,000 vehicle, and I’m paid to travel My dates are always upset when I tell them I’m a bus driver
This girl on Tinder asked me why I have an unlit cigarette in my picture. I told her that I am looking for matches.
A girl I met on tinder said "don't even bother talking to me if your height starts with 5" Jokes on her, I'm 4'11
Using Tinder when you're horny is like going food shopping when you're hungry. Both lead to unintended obesity.
Tinder is for rookies Go to Facebook Marketplace and search for wedding dresses. It'll show you recently divorced females in your area. From there you can filter by size.
In New York City, a fisherman reeled in a 250 pound catfish 6 feet 6 inches long. I don't get what the big deal is. I do that on Tinder every day.
What do serial killers and fat girls on tinder have in common? They know how to hide their bodies.
What's the difference between tinder and amusement parks? Amusement parks have realistic height requirements.
What do Pokemon Go and Tinder have in common? Both give you a good chance of catching something
My friends suggested I use tinder to meet some cute firemen or policemen Once it started to burn, I met so many! I even met a reporter and some lawyers!
A girl on Tinder asked me why my cigarette isn’t lit in my picture... I told her i’m just looking for matches
Today I set my location on Tinder to Flint, Michigan Because I bet those girls are pretty thirsty.
Some of my friends go on Tinder dates just for free food I guess you could call it food for thot.
As a middle aged man I love going up to pretty young women who are staring at their cellphone screens and asking Are you my tinder date?
After recently getting into dating apps I came to the conclusion that Tinder is a lot like Little Caesars... if you want it hot and ready, you're gonna have to take a hit on quality
What's the difference between Tinder and the PokemonGo app? Nothing, it both requires swiping to find monsters in your area.
I used to have this on my Tinder profile to introduce myself to guys... Im like a microwave: easy to turn on, warm on the inside and if you put a baby inside me I’ll kill it.
my tinder date told me that I shouldn't be using a straw
I quickly respond "I know, I know. It's bad for the environment."
"No," she replied, "it's just a weird way to eat spaghetti."
My tinder profile says I'm 6 feet, 2 inches, and 195 pounds, but the girls I match with are always furious when we meet. I guess they don't realize those are three separate measurements.
I saw my uncle on Tinder Obviously I swiped left. He's not going to be in to me now that I'm all grown up.
Instead of using Tinder or Bumble, go on Facebook Marketplace and search for wedding dresses for sale. You will receive a list of recently divorced women in your immediate area, for free. Plus you can filter by size.
Your new tinder bio I only know how to play a little bit on the guitar, but I definitely know my way around a G-string
I conducted a COVID-19 survey by checking in on all the tinder matches I accumulated over the years.
Although my sample size may be insufficient, the results of the survey are devastating and tragic.
May they all rest in peace.
This Corona app is like Tinder in reverse... ...first you meet, then you find out you have a match and suddenly you feel rather lonely.
Saw a girl on tinder that said she worked at a elementary school Told her that that was good because i respect social distancing keeping 250 feet
Your Mama's SO Stupid...
She tried to start a fire using the tinder app.
(I told this joke to my friend and he suggested i post it here.)
I don’t understand girls
My gf asked me to be on Social Media and should try to make friends
So putting my morals aside I made an account on tinder and made friend with benefits
And now she is very upset.
My tinder dates profile said she was in touch with the spirit world and that she was a medium What a load of rubbish, she is easily a Large.
I always had a pee fetish, I met a girl on tinder with the same interest. She was pretty good looking but not a 10 My opening line was “urinate”
statistics of birth control effectiveness
Condoms = 99%
birth control pills =99%
My tinder profile = 100%
Found a girl on tinder a few days ago, her profile picture was taken in front of the first Starbucks.
I asked what it was like to complete her pilgrimage to white girl Mecca.
She still hasn’t responded.
My best friend got a gf recently.
When he first told me, he mentioned that she had nice “assets”, and gave me a knowing look. Then he showed me her Tinder profile.
She’s a stockbroker.
Tinder Date: "Oh wow, you’re way better looking than in your profile pic." Dorian Gray: "Yeah, I get that a lot actually."
Why is a sketchy Tinder date like a fire? They both start with a match and end with a burning sensation
You know Tinder right? Well have you heard of the new app for people trying to find trees? It's called Timber.
I’ve tried to search something on google for years
It keeps saying “Error. No matches”
Then I realised I wasn’t on google
I was on Tinder
Someone I matched with on Tinder asked why I have an unlit cigarette as my pfp I told her I was looking for matches
I'm sick of guys lying about their height on tinder So I stole one of those "must be this tall" height markers from an amusement park and sat it next to my front door just to be sure
Tinder is wonderful I've always wanted a photo database of all the girls in my city who would never go out with me
Tinder told me there are 50000 hot american singles in my area This vacation in Iran's gonna duck
Cookies My tinder profile always has an unlit cigaret in it since i'm always searching for matches.
A tram driver was scrolling through tinder when her train crashed Guess she was too into D-*Railing*
Back when I was on the playground , early 60s
If I called someone a butt- licker, there’s gonna be a fight, that’s a nasty insult for a fifth grader...Nowadays, isn’t that a box you check on your Tinder ....