My Tinder bio says that I have a corner office with views of the entire city, drive a $500,000 vehicle, and that I'm paid to travel. My dates never seem too happy when I tell them I'm a bus driver.
My Tinder bio says I have a corner office with views of the entire city, drive a $500,000 vehicle, and I’m paid to travel My dates are always upset when I tell them I’m a bus driver
This girl on Tinder asked me why I have an unlit cigarette in my picture. I told her that I am looking for matches.
A girl I met on tinder said "don't even bother talking to me if your height starts with 5" Jokes on her, I'm 4'11
Using Tinder when you're horny is like going food shopping when you're hungry. Both lead to unintended obesity.
Tinder is for rookies Go to Facebook Marketplace and search for wedding dresses. It'll show you recently divorced females in your area. From there you can filter by size.
In New York City, a fisherman reeled in a 250 pound catfish 6 feet 6 inches long. I don't get what the big deal is. I do that on Tinder every day.
What do serial killers and fat girls on tinder have in common? They know how to hide their bodies.
What's the difference between tinder and amusement parks? Amusement parks have realistic height requirements.
What do Pokemon Go and Tinder have in common? Both give you a good chance of catching something
A standard elevator can hold 1700 lbs or 5 Tinder matches...
My friends suggested I use tinder to meet some cute firemen or policemen Once it started to burn, I met so many! I even met a reporter and some lawyers!
How do you know a girl on Tinder is real? When they ignore you.
A girl on Tinder asked me why my cigarette isn’t lit in my picture... I told her i’m just looking for matches
Today I set my location on Tinder to Flint, Michigan Because I bet those girls are pretty thirsty.
Some of my friends go on Tinder dates just for free food I guess you could call it food for thot.
My friend met his wife on tinder ...It was six months after their wedding
As a middle aged man I love going up to pretty young women who are staring at their cellphone screens and asking Are you my tinder date?
I met my wife on Tinder About a year *after we got married*
I finally got Tinder ... and after a few matches, I was able to start a campfire
Why couldn't the incel start a fire? Just like always, had tinder but no matches
After recently getting into dating apps I came to the conclusion that Tinder is a lot like Little Caesars... if you want it hot and ready, you're gonna have to take a hit on quality
I’m convinced girls from Tinder are haunted. They keep ghosting me.
What's the difference between Tinder and the PokemonGo app? Nothing, it both requires swiping to find monsters in your area.
I used to have this on my Tinder profile to introduce myself to guys... Im like a microwave: easy to turn on, warm on the inside and if you put a baby inside me I’ll kill it.
my tinder date told me that I shouldn't be using a straw
I quickly respond "I know, I know. It's bad for the environment."
"No," she replied, "it's just a weird way to eat spaghetti."
My tinder profile says I'm 6 feet, 2 inches, and 195 pounds, but the girls I match with are always furious when we meet. I guess they don't realize those are three separate measurements.
Tinder is like being on a bus. Everyone is on their phones, but no one is talking.
i put tinder on my kindle it burst into flames
I got my first message on Tinder! The Tinder team is quite helpful
I found my wife, my soulmate, my best friend on tinder I guess I wasn't invited to the orgy.
I saw my uncle on Tinder Obviously I swiped left. He's not going to be in to me now that I'm all grown up.
Tinder is like Pokémon GO You swipe to catch monsters.
I hate seeing people I know on Tinder My girlfriend has some explaining to do...
Guy says to a girl on tinder “You can call me the GOAT” “Why? Cause you’re the greatest of all time?” “No, cause I’m gonna eat your bush”
Have y'all heard about this new app that lets you see ghosts? It's called Tinder
There's a cool hidden feature on Tinder Keep on swiping right and girls get fatter
What did Pingu say to a girl he met on Tinder Send noots.
Instead of using Tinder or Bumble, go on Facebook Marketplace and search for wedding dresses for sale. You will receive a list of recently divorced women in your immediate area, for free. Plus you can filter by size.
The digital internet consists of 1s and 0s. That explains alot about my Tinder matches.
Why is Tinder like being on a bus? It's just a heap of people sitting around, staring at their phones but not talking to anyone.
All the girls on tinder say I’m an 11. Because I don’t fit their requirements, and my profile picture is too good to be true.
Your new tinder bio I only know how to play a little bit on the guitar, but I definitely know my way around a G-string
Who was the first woman with a Tinder profile? Joan of Arc.
I conducted a COVID-19 survey by checking in on all the tinder matches I accumulated over the years.
Although my sample size may be insufficient, the results of the survey are devastating and tragic.
May they all rest in peace.
This Corona app is like Tinder in reverse... ...first you meet, then you find out you have a match and suddenly you feel rather lonely.
Obituaries Necrophiliac's tinder
Saw a girl on tinder that said she worked at a elementary school Told her that that was good because i respect social distancing keeping 250 feet
What did Dora say to help her friend break his Tinder addiction? Swiper, no swiping!
Your Mama's SO Stupid...
She tried to start a fire using the tinder app.
(I told this joke to my friend and he suggested i post it here.)
I don’t understand girls
My gf asked me to be on Social Media and should try to make friends
So putting my morals aside I made an account on tinder and made friend with benefits
And now she is very upset.
My tinder dates profile said she was in touch with the spirit world and that she was a medium What a load of rubbish, she is easily a Large.
Tinder is simple geometry If you have good lines you'll get good curves
I swiped left because her Tinder profile looked scary. I was afraid I might get ghosted.
I lost my lighter. So I installed tinder to get some matches.
I always had a pee fetish, I met a girl on tinder with the same interest. She was pretty good looking but not a 10 My opening line was “urinate”
What's the difference between Tinder and Ikea? One night stands last longer.
statistics of birth control effectiveness
Condoms = 99%
birth control pills =99%
My tinder profile = 100%
Found a girl on tinder a few days ago, her profile picture was taken in front of the first Starbucks.
I asked what it was like to complete her pilgrimage to white girl Mecca.
She still hasn’t responded.
A woman’s bio on tinder says she has 4 dogs... ...if she matched with me it would be 5.
My best friend got a gf recently.
When he first told me, he mentioned that she had nice “assets”, and gave me a knowing look. Then he showed me her Tinder profile.
She’s a stockbroker.
Tinder Date: "Oh wow, you’re way better looking than in your profile pic." Dorian Gray: "Yeah, I get that a lot actually."
yo mamma so ugly.... I swiped right on her on Tinder and matched
Yo Daddy so dumb....
He downloaded Tinder to buy firewood
And Grindr for the woodchipper
New dating app for plus sized people Chicken Tinder
Why is a sketchy Tinder date like a fire? They both start with a match and end with a burning sensation
Tinder has a new catch phrase. Meet,skeet & delete
On Tinder I’m looking for special ed teachers So they know how to deal with me
You know Tinder right? Well have you heard of the new app for people trying to find trees? It's called Timber.
I’ve tried to search something on google for years
It keeps saying “Error. No matches”
Then I realised I wasn’t on google
I was on Tinder
Someone I matched with on Tinder asked why I have an unlit cigarette as my pfp I told her I was looking for matches
I'm sick of guys lying about their height on tinder So I stole one of those "must be this tall" height markers from an amusement park and sat it next to my front door just to be sure
Tinder is wonderful I've always wanted a photo database of all the girls in my city who would never go out with me
I met an amazing girl on Tinder Her name is Catherine Fisher
Tinder told me there are 50000 hot american singles in my area This vacation in Iran's gonna duck
It's great to see so many girls on Tinder with no bio I guess they're all against profiling
What do you call a tinder premium subscription? Fuel for thot
Cookies My tinder profile always has an unlit cigaret in it since i'm always searching for matches.
A tram driver was scrolling through tinder when her train crashed Guess she was too into D-*Railing*
Back when I was on the playground , early 60s
If I called someone a butt- licker, there’s gonna be a fight, that’s a nasty insult for a fifth grader...Nowadays, isn’t that a box you check on your Tinder ....
How can you tell people on Tinder have no friends? Every profile pic is a selfie.
Tinder is like the ocean Some times you catch fish some times you catch crabs
My tinder date called herself "AnalBabe86" But all she did was complain my tie wasn't on straight and I held my fork funny.
"My date hasn't arrived yet, but I would like to buy her a bag of popcorn," I told the cinema assistant.
"Small, medium or large?" he asked.
"Large," I replied. "If her picture on Tinder is anything to go by."
So I met this girl on Tinder We get to texting and seems that both me and her are making many spelling errors. I guess you could say she’s exactly my type.
Created a profile on Tinder when I was in California and in my bio had California >< Florida on it. Got a match who said she right swiped because she wanted a parcel delivered from California to Florida . Apparently I have been Fedex zoned .
I don't want to say that my Alabama cousins are inbred... ... but they've given up Tinder for 23andMe.
What the difference between a pizza and a tinder hookup? You slice up the pizza before you enjoy it, not after.
If Chickens had a dating app... it would be called Chicken Tinder
I met with a girl on Tinder that said she was Anti-Vaxx I told her it was amazing, I too am Pro abortion at any time.
What’s the difference between tinder and grinder? On Grinder they don’t beat around the bush.
When I found out my Tinder date was missing a foot, I nearly threw up. I'm lack-toes intolerant.
Tinder is used for starting a fire But its pointless if you don't have a match
Tinder is used to make a fire But you first need to find a match
What do you call Tinder for ghosts? Tinder
Tinder can learn a lot from Uber... It's much easier to find a ride on Uber
My Tinder Inbox got flooded with messages from pretty girls after I changed my Profile Pic Who knew uploading Ted Bundy's Picture as a joke would attract so many girls!
Dora would hate Tinder ...lots of swiping.
My experience on Tinder has been so bad.. that now I am on Grindr
Her tinder bio said she’s very creative and imaginative.
So I didn’t text. She can imagine our chats. And probably a better one.
I wonder how far our relationship has gone.
As I’ve been super single for the past couple years, I decided to download Tinder and other similar apps. So far, I’ve set up all my profiles and have put my best pictures on them. I guess you could say that I’m up to date.