What did people say when the inventor of the Dry Erase Board showed off his new invention.
Terrible joke, came to me on the toilet early, but I had to say it. And it's also likely be told in some form before.
I started calling my toilet the "Jim"...
instead of the John.
It sounds much better when I say that I go to the Jim first thing every morning.
I had a breakthrough today and got in touch with my inner self. That's the last time I use cheap toilet paper.
My friend started calling the toilet the Jim instead of the John He said it sounds better when he tell people he goes to the Jim everyday.
There's an easy trick you can use to calculate your IQ It's 150 minus the number of rolls of toilet paper you have at home.
A toilet was stolen from a police station today... It's a pretty serious crime. The police have nothing to go on.
To prevent the spread of germs, people have been told to sneeze into their upper arm. Instead, people have been stockpiling toilet paper. This upholds the long standing belief that too many people don't know their arse from their elbow.
Instead of "the John," I call my toilet "the Jim." That way it sounds better when I say I go to the Jim first thing every morning.
Some people aren’t shaking hands because of COVID 19. I’m not shaking hands because everyone is out of toilet paper and hand sanitizer.
I got in touch with my inner self today... ...that's the a last time I use 1-ply toilet paper
People wonder why I call my toilet "the Jim" instead of "the John" I do it so I can say "I go to the Jim first thing every morning"
I was so poor growing up, we only had a calendar to use as toilet paper… Now those days are behind me…
I am 24 seconds older than my twin brother... ... whenever I come out of the toilet I start a sentence with "When I was your age...." then proceed telling him the details of my majestic creation.
Do you know what's the difference between toilet paper and the shower curtain?
SO IT WAS YOU!!!
I bought a toilet brush since I saw one in pretty much everyone's bathroom... but after giving it a try for a week I decided to go back to using toilet paper.
I really got in touch with my inner self today. I should probably start buying thicker toilet paper.
I decided to rename my toilet from "The John" to "The Jim." I feel much better saying I've been to "The Jim" this morning.
I had a breakthrough and got in touch with my inner self. That's the last time I buy single ply toilet paper.
Did you hear about the robbers who broke into the police station and stole all the toilet seats? It happened last week and the cops still don't have anything to go on.
I got in touch with my inner self today. Note to self, never get the 1 ply toilet paper again.
Ran out of toilet paper so had to start using lettuce leaves today was the tip of the iceberg
What's the difference between a toilet bowl and a soup bowl? If you had to click to find out, I'm never having soup at your place.
I tried changing up the way I use the bathroom, so I wiped with my left hand today! I really wish I used toilet paper instead, though.
Patient: "I accidentally swallowed a bunch of Scrabble tiles!" Doctor: "Your next trip to the toilet could spell disaster"
I hate when my roommates throw cigarettes in the toilet for two reasons. A: it's disgusting and B: they are harder to light.
Father questions son.
“What’s the difference between a curtain and toilet paper ?”
“I don’t know.”
“So it was you.”
What's the difference between 4-layer toilet paper and a liberal arts major? You don't find 4-layer toilet paper at McDonalds!
The Covid 19 Toilet Paper craze was a lot like the Stock Market Crash of 1929 But this time, instead of everyone dumping their stocks, they're stocking for dumps
Good news! I read that people aren't hoarding toilet paper anymore, Guess we wiped out that tissue, I mean, issue.
Toilet paper shortages causing some communities to resort to using lettuce
When asked about the extant crisis, Dr. Asterac simply stated:
"This morning was just the tip of the iceberg. Tomorrow romaine's to be seen."
Everyone is angry at the White House because they had time to prepare for Corona, but what about the Egyptians? Egyptian mummies predicted Covid-19 in the prophecies by social distancing in big houses and hoarding toilet papers.
[blonde] A blonde woman and her boyfriend were sitting in the back yard. A pigeon flew over them and pooped on his head. "Get some toilet paper" he said. "What for?" the blonde asked. "He must be half a mile away by now"
There's an easy trick you can use to calculate your IQ It's 150 minus the number of toilet rolls you have at home
Alien1: So how did the earthlings die? Alien2: They had so much toilet paper they wiped themselves out!
The real reason I dont like shaking people's hands now isn't because of the virus... It's because everyone is out of toilet paper....
I saw Arnold Schwarzenegger working at a grocery store and I asked him....
"Where can I find the toilet paper?"
He replied, "Aisle B, back."
My local government sent me some free, emergency toilet paper in the mail. They called it a "Jury Summons."
I just found out why people are buying so much toilet paper. An asteroid might hit earth in 2020. Paper beats rock.
Drug cartels have been turning to toilet paper instead of narcotics for profits I guess you can say the crack has been wiped out clean.
With all of the craziness at the grocery stores we've run out of toilet paper at my house and had to resort to using newspaper. These Times are rough.
It’s a shame coronavirus affects the infirm and elderly most If it affected idiocy instead there’d be a lot more toilet paper available
The real reason all the libraries are closing is not to help stop the spread of infection. Its becuase after all the toilet paper was gone, people all started to check out the books with 1000+ pages
Today I ran out of toilet paper and had to resort to lettuce leaves. Today was just the tip of the iceberg.
Taco Bell forced to shut down temporarily... Due to the Corona virus the shortage of toilet paper has made this step a necessity.
I just traded four rolls of toilet paper and a package of baby wipes for a 2017 Maserati. I am going to miss that car.
I went to the supermarket but they were all out of bread. I guess some people weren't able to buy any toilet paper.
I brought my lady friend some toilet paper yesterday. It's clear she finally found her Prince Charmin.
My wife and I are home quarantined for two weeks. Fortunately, we hoarded lots of toilet paper. Time for some roll playing games.