Hilarious Cat Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Cat Jokes

What's the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of is paws and the other is a pause at the end of a clause.

I asked a librarian if she had a book about Pavlov's Dog and Schrodinger's Cat She said it rang a bell but wasn't sure if it was there or not.

A cat walks into a bar. The bartender says, "what'll you have?"
The cat says, "A shot of rum."
The bartender pours the cat his drink.
The cat slowly pushes the shot off the table.
"Another."

Where would you park your camel? The Camelot.

PS Booze helped with this and now I'm laughing alone in my apartment

Edit: Went to class, came back, saw this. Me and my cat are thoroughly pleased.

My kids were hungry so I made them burgers from scratch. They got really upset and started to cry.

Scratch is a stupid name for a cat anyway..

I went to the library and asked for a book on Pavlov's dog and Shrodinger's Cat The librarian said "That rings a bell but I don't know if it's here or not."

The teacher asked Jimmy, "Why is your cat at school today Jimmy?" Jimmy replied crying, "Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am going to eat that p*ssy once Jimmy leaves for school today!'"

This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat. It was obvious that she thought her cat could understand her.

I came to my house and told my dog. We laughed a lot.

What is the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws and the other is a pause at the end of a clause.

Schrodinger's Cat recently went on a crime spree He's wanted dead and alive

They found a cat on mars... A live cat was found roaming the surface of Mars. Scientists planned to have the Mars Rover capture the animal to study it but unfortunately while attempting to capture the feline, Curiosity killed the cat.

What's the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws, the other has a pause at the end of its clause.

What's the difference between a cat and a comma? One has its claws at the end of its paws, and one is a pause at the end of a clause.

What's the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws, the other is a pause at the end of a clause.

I just gave my cat some 7UP. Now he's got 16 lives.

What do you call a boy cat sleeping on a bed? Himalayan.

*Be gentle. First post on here.

*A joke my son told me* - What do you call it when a cat wins a dog show? A Cat-Has-Trophey!

Whats the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws and one is a pause at the end of a clause.

This hating of people that breastfeed in public really has to stop. I can raise my cat any way I want.

What is the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws and the other is a pause and the end of a clause.

My wife is leaving me because of my mental illness. At least thats what the cat told me.

My wife asked me "Is it just me or is the cat getting fat?" Apparently "No it's just you" wasn't the right answer.

My in-laws couldn't cope when their cat unexpectedly had 9 kittens, so my wife told me to put them in a sack and throw them in the river… I did it but it broke my heart.

I quite liked her dad…

Asked a librarian for that book on Schrodinger's cat and Pavlov's dogs today. Said it rang a bell but she didn't know if it was there or not

A cat gives birth in a public park... ...and is fined $50 for littering.

What is the difference between a Comma and a Cat? A comma is a pause at end of clause and a cat has claws at the end of its paws.

Edit: Disappointment

I named my overweight cat Kelvin Because he is an absolute unit.

What is the difference between a cat and a complex sentence? A cat has claws at the end of its paws. A complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.

Schrodinger gets pulled over by the cops and they do a search of his car. Cop: Did you know you have a dead cat in your trunk?

Schrodinger: I do now.

I lost my cat If found, please return him, dead and alive.

Thanks,

Sincerely,
Erwin Shrodinger.

I went to a library and asked for a book on pavlov's dog and Schrodinger's cat The librarian said,"That rings a bell, but I'm not sure whether it is here or not."

What's the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of paws and the other has a pause at the end of clause

What's the difference between a cat and a comma? A cat has claws at the end of its paws, while a comma is a pause at the end of a clause.

What's the difference between a cat and a complex sentence? A cat has claws at the end of its paws. A complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.

2 cats are racing across the English Channel, an English cat named "123" and a French cat named "Un deux trois." Which cat won the race?

A: The English cat. Un deux trois cat sank.

My in-laws couldn't cope when their cat had 9 kittens, so my wife told me to put them in a sack and dump them in the river. I did it, but it broke my heart. I quite liked her dad.

They say curiosity killed the cat, but what I want to know is how the cat got to Mars in the first place

What do you get when you cross a cat and an octopus? A strong reprimand from the ethics committee and immediate recission of all funding.

Yesterday, I got so depressed.. ..I spent entire day listening to Celine Dion records.
.
.
Or that's what I thought until I realised my cat had fallen in to the dryer.

New Cat Jokes

Scrodinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.

A cat scratches at the gate to heaven to get in. St Peter opens the door. He looks down at the cat and snarls “Egh, what is it now, in or out?!”

My mum was upset when I put ginger in the pasta last night I guess she liked that cat

Did you know there used to be a cat on Mars? Yeah, till Curiosity killed it.

What do you call a Russian cat that interrupts a movie? A blue-purr.

Curtesy of my 9 year old joke writer.

What type of trophy do you get when you’ve seen a traumatic amount of cat asses in your life? A catastrophe

How many lives does a cat have left after it loses its ninth life? Nein lifes

What do Schrodinger's cat and Kim Jong-un have in common? They're both alive and dead until you see them!

Kim Jong Un is currently.. The Shrodingers cat of dictators.

What is the cat equivalent of a Karen? Carol Baskin

The Australian turns to the cat and asked him, “do you have trouble with poo sticking to your fur?” The cat said no. So the Australian picked up the cat and wiped his bum with him.

My wife was sick to the stomach when I told her I put ginger in the curry She really loved that cat

What do you call a cat copying off of another cat? .....a cheetah!

My neighbor speaks to her cat as if it could understand her. I told my dog and we both had a laugh about it

Wanna hear a great cat joke? Just kitten. I don't have one.

My neighbor speaks to her cat as if it could understand her. I told my dog and we both had a laugh over it.

What has two legs and is gushing blood? Half a cat

I've named my car Curiosity That way I'm not lying when I say Curiosity killed our cat

Cat puns really freak meowt. I’m not kitten.

(As told by a 10 year old) A white cat goes fishing in the sea and falls in. He’s struggling to stay afloat until a red cat jumps in to save him. What’s the first thing red cat says to white cat? Meow.

Cat puns Freak meowt.

What sound does a communist cat make? Mao.

(My kids’ joke) What did the cat say when it got scratched? Meowch

My cat and I were watching TV when suddendly it scratched me. Just because i pressed paws.

My girlfriend always yells at me when I let the cat out of the bag "STOP PUTTING MY CAT IN BAGS!"

What's 3/7 chicken, 2/3 cat and 1/2 goat? Chicago

Octopus : [holding a gun in each hand] Cat : You're one short buddy

I have a bird feeder in the garden. It also works as a cat feeder.

Sad Schrodinger's cat be like I am alive but I am dead inside.

Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar Schrödinger's cat doesn't walks into a bar.

What does a cat with a lisp catch? A mouth.

My kids say they want a cat for Christmas Normally I do turkey but hey, if it wil make them happy.

Never combine a cat with an apostrophe. It’ll be a catastrophe.

Woke up this morning and suddenly remembered this dream where my arms had become cat limbs. I was so shocked that I had two paws for a moment.

A man sees his neighbor's son digging a hole.... He asks the boy, "What are you digging the hole for?" The boy replies, "I am burying my goldfish." The man then says, "That hole seems big for a goldfish, no?" The boy answers, "Well your cat still had it in it's stomach."

I have a bird feeder in my garden. It's also a cat feeder.

What do you call it when a cat wins a prize at a dog competition A cat-has-trophy

A woman answered the doorbell where a man was standing at the door. The man said,"I'm terribly sorry,but I believe I just ran over your cat and I would like to replace it for you."

The woman replied,"Well that's alright with me,how are you at catching mice?"

Whats the difference between a cat and a comma? One is a pause at the end of a clause, and the other, well he has claws at the end of his paws!

What do you call a cat that you wear on your wrist? Aristocrat

A woman’s on vacation and calls home

She asks her husband, "How’s my cat doing?"

The husband says, "The cat’s dead."

The woman’s upset and says, "Well, you could have broken the news to me when I got home. I can’t enjoy my vacation now. You could’ve just said a little white lie, like the cat’s on the roof and you can’t get her down."

"Okay, I’m sorry," says the husband, "I’ll remember that."

The woman says, "Anyway, how’s my mother doing?"

The husband says, "Your mother’s on the roof and we can’t get her down."

A man really hated his wife’s cat. One day, he put the cat in his car and took it to the end of the block and let it go. When he got home he saw that the cat had beat him home.

Undeterred, he put the cat in the car and took it a few miles across the city and tossed it out the car again. Upon returning home, he was astonished to see that the cat had beat him home again.

Determined at this point, the man took the cat and drove him across the city, over the river, through the woods, and clear across three counties before putting the cat outside and driving off.

Several hours later the man’s wife was at home when the phone rang. She picked up and it was her husband.

“Is the cat there?” He asked.

“Yes…” she replied.

“Well put him on the phone, I’m lost”

A guy walks into a bar wearing a Browns jersey and carrying a cat that also has a Browns jersey on with a little Browns helmet on his head, too.

The guy says to the bartender, "Can my cat and I watch the Browns game here?
My TV at home is broke, and my cat and I always watch the game together."

The bartender replies, "Normally, cats wouldn't be allowed in the bar, but
it's not very busy in here right now, so you and the cat can have a seat at
the end of the bar. But, if there's any trouble with you or the cat, I'll
have to ask you to leave"

The guy agrees, and he and his cat start watching the game. Pretty soon the
Browns kick a field goal and the excited cat jumps up on the bar and walks
down the bar and gives everyone a high five.

The bartender says, "Hey, that's pretty cool! What does he do for a
touchdown?"

The guys answers, "I don't know, I've only had him for 2 years.

A man really hated his wife's cat...

A man really hated his wife's cat. One day, unbeknownst to his wife, he put the cat in his car and took it to the end of the block and let it go. When he got home he saw that the cat had beat him home.

Undeterred, he put the cat in the car and took it a few miles across the city and tossed it out the car again. Upon returning home, he was astonished to see that the cat had beat him home again.

Determined at this point, the man took the cat and drove him across the city, over the river, through the woods, and clear across three counties before putting the cat outside and driving off.

Several hours later the man's wife was at home when the phone rang. She picked up and it was her husband.

"Is the cat there?" He asked.

"Yes..." she replied.

"Well put him on the phone, I'm lost"

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon....

.....As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his
stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.

After a moment or two, the vet
shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles,
has passed away."

The distressed woman wailed,
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied
the vet..

"How can you be so sure?" she
protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or
something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned
around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later
with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on
in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his
front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from
top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and
shook his head.

The vet patted the dog on the
head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he
returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also
delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat
back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and
strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the
woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most
definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and
produced a bill, which he handed to the woman..

The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" she
cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!"

The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it,
the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the
Cat Scan, it's now $150."

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead rob a bank..

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead decide to rob a bank. Everything goes well-they have their masks on, the bank hands over the money-awesome.

Exiting the bank, they hear sirens and see several cop cars round the corner, so they dash into a small alleyway.

The cops are quick though, and are just about to reach the entrance. There are three empty potato sacks lying against the wall.

"Quick! Hide!" The brunette says, and the three women each crawl into a bag.

A police man comes down the alleyway, looking around for any signs of the women. The potato sacks stick out to him-so he gives the one with the redhead a kick.

"Meow!" goes the redhead, doing her best imitation of a cat.

"Just an alley cat..." The police officer mumbles, moving onto the next bag and delivering a quick nudge with his foot.

"Woof!" Goes the brunette, imitating a dog.

"Just a stray..." The officer mumbles again, heading to the last bag, and giving it a light kick.

"POOOOE-TAYYY-TOOOEE" grunts the blonde.

_____

Edited to meet popular demand.

For those who don't get the joke, the redhead and brunette both mimic things that might be in an alleyway-a cat and a stray dog. The blonde however wonders "What would be in a potato sack? Potatoes!" and thus tries to blend in by announcing herself as a potato.

Edit Edit: I'm blond. I can make these jokes.

The Art Collector [Clean]

A famous art collector is walking through the city when he notices a mangy cat lapping milk from a saucer in the doorway of a store. He does a double take.

He knows that the saucer is extremely old and very valuable, so he walks casually into the store and offers to buy the cat for two dollars.

The store owner replies, "I'm sorry, but the cat isn't for sale."

The collector says, "Please, I need a hungry cat around the house to catch mice. I'll pay you 20 dollars for that cat."

And the owner says "Sold," and hands over the cat.

The collector continues, "Hey, for the twenty bucks I wonder if you could throw in that old saucer. The cat's used to it and it'll save me from having to get a dish."

The owner says, "Sorry buddy, but that's my lucky saucer. So far this week I've sold sixty-eight cats."

Being a good husband

A woman went on vacation, leaving her husband behind. Before she left, she told him to take extra special care of her cat. The next day she called her husband and asked if the cat was all right.

Her husband said: The cat just died.

She burst into tears and said: How could you be so blunt? Why couldn't you have broken the news gradually! Today, you could have said that it was playing on the roof; tomorrow, you could have said that it fell off and had broken its leg; then on the third day, you could have said that the poor thing had passed away in the night. You could have been more sensitive about the whole thing. By the way, how is my mom?

Husband: She is playing on the roof.

Nighttime Prayers

A father put his 3 year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which ended by saying, "God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma and good-bye Grandpa."



The father asked, "Why did you say good-bye Grandpa?"... The little girl said, "I don't know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do"



The next day grandpa died. The father thought it was a strange coincidence.



A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers which went like this, "God bless Mommy, God Bless Daddy and good-bye Grandma."



The next day the grandmother died.



"Holy \*\*\*\*" thought the father, "this kid is in contact with the other side."



Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed, the dad heard her say, "God bless Mommy and good-bye Daddy."



He practically went into shock. He couldn't sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office. He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch and watched the clock.



He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be okay. He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day he stayed there, drinking coffee, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound. Finally midnight arrived; he breathed a sigh of relief and went home.



When he got home his wife said, "I've never seen you work so late. What's the matter?"



He said, "I don't want to talk about it, I've just spent the worst day of my life."



She said, "You think you had a bad day, you'll never believe what happened to me. This morning my golf pro dropped dead in the middle of my lesson!"

A little boy tells his nursery teacher that he found a dead cat

'How did you know that it was dead?' Asked the teacher
'Because i pissed in its ear & it didn't move' Said the boy

'You did what?!?' Shrieks the teacher
'You know' Explains the boy, 'I lent over and went Pssst & it didn't move"

A man goes to the supermarket

A man in a supermarket goes up to a cashier and places two cans of dog food on the counter.

The cashier asks, "Do you have a dog sir?" "Yes, it's at home," replies the man. "To be able to sell you the dog food sir, I must see the dog. That is store policy," says the cashier.

The next day, the man goes and places two cans of cat food on the counter. Again the cashier asks, "Do you have a cat sir?" "Yes I do, it's at home," replies the man. "Well I'm sorry sir. Store policy. I must see the cat before I can sell you cat food," replies the cashier.

The next day, the man returns to the store and walks directly to the same cashier. He has a brown paper bag in his hand. "Here," he says to the cashier, "put your hand in here." The cashier puts her hand in the brown paper bag. "It is all soft and warm," she says. "Yes that's right," replies the man, "I need to buy two rolls of toilet paper."

"The price of doing business at the Vet's office"

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.

After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away."

The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?" "Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the vet..

"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman. The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!"

The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150."

A woman went on vacation, leaving her husband behind

A woman went on vacation, leaving her husband behind.

Before she left, she told him to take extra special care of her cat.

The next day she called her husband and asked if the cat was all right.

Her husband said: The cat just died.

She burst into tears and said: How could you be so blunt? Why couldn't you have broken the news gradually! Today, you could have said that it was playing on the roof; tomorrow, you could have said that it fell off and had broken its leg; then on the third day, you could have said that the poor thing had passed away in the night. You could have been more sensitive about the whole thing. By the way, how is my mom?

Husband: She is playing on the roof.

Cinderella

Cinderella is now 95 years old. After a fulfilling life with the now dead prince, she happily sits upon her rocking chair, watching the world go by from her front porch, with a cat named Bob for companionship.

One sunny afternoon out of nowhere, appeared the fairy godmother. Cinderella said, "Fairy Godmother, what are you doing here after all these years"?

The fairy godmother replied, "Cinderella, you have lived an exemplary life since I last saw you. Is there anything for which your heart still yearns?"

Cinderella was taken aback, overjoyed, and after some thoughtful consideration, she uttered her first wish: "The prince was wonderful, but not much of an investor. I'm living hand to mouth on my disability checks and I wish I were wealthy beyond comprehension.

Instantly her rocking chair turned into solid gold Cinderella said, "Ooh, thank you, Fairy Godmother".

The fairy godmother replied "it is the least that I can do. What do you want for your second wish?"

Cinderella looked down at her frail body, and said, "I wish I were young and full of the beauty and youth I once had."

At once, her wish became reality, and her beautiful young visage returned. Cinderella felt stirrings inside of her that had been dormant for years.

And then the fairy godmother spoke once more: "You have one more wish; what shall it be?"

Cinderella looks over to the frightened cat in the corner and says, "I wish for you to transform Bob, my old cat, into a kind and handsome young man."

Magically, Bob suddenly underwent so fundamental a change in his biological make-up that, when he stood before her, he was a man so beautiful the likes of him neither she nor the world had ever seen.

The fairy godmother said, "Congratulations, Cinderella, enjoy your new life. With a blazing shock of bright blue electricity, the fairy godmother was gone as suddenly as she appeared.

For a few eerie moments, Bob and Cinderella looked into each other's eyes. Cinderella sat, breathless, gazing at the most beautiful, stunningly perfect man she had ever seen.

Then Bob walked over to Cinderella, who sat transfixed in her rocking chair, & held her close in his young muscular arms. He leaned in close, blowing her golden hair with his warm breath as he whispered..........

"Bet you're sorry you neutered me."

A car with three physicists is pulled over by a cop.

Inside are Heisenberg, Schrödinger and Ohm.

The cop asks Heisenberg "Do you know how fast you were going?"

Heisenberg replies, "No, but we know exactly where we are!"

The officer looks at him confused and says "you were going 110 miles per hour!"

Heisenberg throws his arms up and says, "Great! Now we're lost!"

The officer looks over the car and asks Schrödinger if the three men have anything in the trunk.

"A cat", Schrödinger replies.

The cop opens the trunk and yells "Hey! This cat is dead."

Schrödinger angrily replies, "Well he is now."

The cop proceeds to arrest the three.

Ohm resists and gets tased.

The vet's office

A man runs into the vet's office carrying his dog, screaming for help. The vet rushes him back to an examination room and has him put his dog down on the examination table. The vet examines the still, limp body and after a few moments tells the man that his dog, regrettably, is dead.

The man, clearly agitated and not willing to accept this, demands a second opinion.

The vet goes into the back room and comes out with a cat and puts the cat down next to the dog's body. The cat sniffs the body, walks from head to tail poking and sniffing the dog's body and finally looks at the vet and meows.

The vet looks at the man and says, "I'm sorry, but the cat thinks that your dog is dead too." The man is still unwilling to accept that his dog is dead.

The vet brings in a black labrador. The lab sniffs the body, walks from head to tail, and finally looks at the vet and barks.

The vet looks at the man and says, "I'm sorry, but the lab thinks your dog is dead too."

The man, finally resigned to the diagnosis, thanks the vet and asks how much he owes.

The vet answers, "$650."

"$650 to tell me my dog is dead?" exclaimed the man.

"Well," the vet replies, "I would only have charged you $50 for my initial diagnosis. The additional $600 was for the cat scan and lab tests."

A man goes to the vet

A man goes to the vet with his dog, and says "there's something wrong, I can't get her to wake up!"

So the vet brings the man to the examination room, and puts a stethoscope to the dogs chest and mournfully says "I'm sorry sir, your dog is dead"

The main sobs and says "isn't there anything you can do? are you sure?"

The vet just opens a door, and allows a Golden Labrador into the room, which sniffs the dog, shakes it's head, and walks back out of the door.

vet says "well, thats it. I'm sorry sir. your dog is surely dead"

the main wails "there's got to be something more you can do!", the vet just shrugs and opens the door again, and this time a cat walks in. the cat jumps up on the examination table and proceeds to carefully sniff the dog all over. then the cat shakes its head, and walks out the door.

"Sir, I'm so sorry, but your dog really is dead", and the man just slowly nods.

As they're finishing discussing what to do with the body, the vet gives the man his bill for the exam and hands it to the man. "a thousand pounds? to tell me that my dog has died?!"

the vet replies "well, the normal exam is only one hundred, but you wanted the extra lab work and the cat scan"

A kindergarten student told his teacher he'd found a cat...

A kindergarten student told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead. "How do you know that the cat was dead?" she asked her student. "Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move," answered the child innocently. "You did WHAT?!?!?!" the teacher yelled in shock. "You know," explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it didn't move."

Your cat died

A woman went on vacation, leaving her husband behind. Before she left, she told him to take extra special care of her cat.The next day she called her husband and asked if the cat was all right.

Her husband said: The cat just died.

She burst into tears and said: How could you be so blunt? Why couldn't you have broken the news gradually! Today, you could have said that it was playing on the roof; tomorrow, you could have said that it fell off and had broken its leg; then on the third day, you could have said that the poor thing had passed away in the night. You could have been more sensitive about the whole thing. By the way, how is my mom?

Husband: She is playing on the roof.

A German Shepherd, Doberman, and a cat die and go to heaven.

God greats the three and asks each what they believe in.

First God asks the German Shepherd who replies "I believe in discipline and loyalty to my master". God says " this is good, you can sit here at my right hand."

Next God asks the Doberman what he believes in. The Doberman replies "I believe in love and protecting my master." God says "Wonderful, you can sit here at my left."

Finally God asks the cat what he believes in and the cat replies "I believe you are in my seat".

Cat Jokes