Greek Jokes


Funniest Greek Jokes

Funny Greek Jokes
Score: 2319

A Portuguese, a Greek, and a Spaniard go into a brothel. Who pays? Germany.

Score: 1815

I failed my final exam on Greek mythology. It's always been my Achilles elbow

Score: 1407

My friend says he has the body of a Greek God... I had to explain to him Buddha wasn't Greek

Score: 639

I passed all my courses except for Greek mythology. It has always been my Achilles’ elbow.

Score: 587

When I left school, I passed every one of my exams with the exception of Greek Mythology. It always was my achilles elbow.

Score: 584

My girlfriend is absolutely beautiful. Body like a Greek statue... Completely pale, no arms.

Score: 573

An ancient Greek walks into a tailors with a torn pair of pants: "Euripides?" Asks the tailor.

"Yeah, Eumenides?" Replies the man.

Score: 508

My lack of knowledge of greek mythology is my one weakness. It's my Achilles elbow.

Score: 480

There's a Greek myth about a stream whose water will attach itself to your skin for all eternity. The river sticks

Score: 372

Who was the sexiest woman in Greek myth? Actually, it was Medusa. One look from her made guys rock hard.

Score: 245

My girlfriend has the body of a Greek Godess; Imaginary

Score: 224

My poor knowledge of Greek mythology Has been my Achilles elbow

Score: 208

An Ancient Greek man walks into his tailor’s shop with some torn togas... Tailor: Euripides?

Man: Yeah, Eumenides?

EDIT: Yes, I know togas were worn by the Romans. Greeks wore an early version of the toga called the himation, but nobody would get that joke.

Score: 160

An ancient Greek walks into his tailor's shop... ...with a pair of torn pants.

Euripides? Asked the tailor.

Eumenides? Replied the man.

Score: 146

My poor knowledge of Greek mythology... Has always been my Achilles’ Elbow.

Score: 125

What does a Greek say when he receives his salary? Danke schön.

Score: 115

Have you heard of the Ancient Greek hero, Bophades? He was a lot like Achilles, he had only one weakness, but instead of his heel, it was his groin. You may have heard of Achilles’ heel but have you heard of Bophades’ nuts?

Score: 97

A Greek, a Spaniard and a Portuguese all walk into a bar. Who pays? Germany.

Score: 85

Do you know the Greek version of Monopoly? It's called Monopoulos and you just borrow all the money from the bank.
Everyone loses.

Score: 79

An ancient Greek goes up to a tailor... The tailor asks the Greek: "Euripides?"
The Greek replies "Eumenides?"

Score: 64

TIL where the word 'politics' comes from 'Poly' is from the Greek meaning *many*, and 'tick' is from *a bunch of blood sucking parasites*

Score: 64

An Ancient Greek walks into a tailor... An Ancient Greek walks into a tailor with a torn chiton, asks the tailor, "Eumenides?"

The tailor responds, "Euripedes?"

Score: 56

Polyamory is wrong! You can't mix Greek and Latin roots.
It's either Multiamory or Polyphilia.

Score: 54

People say I'm not good with Greek Mythology... I guess that it's my Achilles wrist.

Score: 48

A Greek, an Irishman and a Portuguese spend the evening drinking in a bar. Who picks up the tab? The German.

Score: 39

What's the motto of the Greek army? Never leave your buddy's behind.

Score: 31

I ate some bad Greek food now I falafel.

Score: 27

Why did Germany hold a ceremony for the Greek bankruptcy? They wanted to give credit where credit was due.

Score: 23

My complete lack of knowledge about Greek mythology has always been my achilles elbow. thanks, Mike!

Score: 21

I get turned on whenever I eat greek dips... ...I think I'm a hummusexual.

Score: 16

I got some Greek yogurt today... ...but it just isn't working for me.

Score: 15

Have y'all heard of the ancient Greek hero Bophades? He was a lot like Achilles, he had one weakness. Except it wasn't his heal, it was his groin. You may have heard the term Achilles heel, but have you heard of Bophades Nuts?

Score: 13

I dated a greek girl during my latest archeology expedition Radioactivity measurements of her remains confirmed she lived around 700BC

Score: 10

What is the difference between a Greek spearman and a pale beer? One is hoplite, and the other a light hops.

Score: 10

I was talking to my Irish mate about Brad Pitt's films, but I could not remember the name of that historical Greek film he was in..... "Troy." he said, suddenly.

"I am." I replied. "Give me a minute"

Score: 9

A Spanish, Greek and Portuguese man go to a bar. Who pays for the drinks? The German!

Score: 7

Knowledge of the greek mythology was always.... achilles elbow

Score: 7

In Greek culture what is the one traditional way they separate the men from the boys? They use a crowbar.

Score: 7

Just got kicked out of a Greek themed costume party apparently coming dressed as an ancient Greek olympian 'wasn't appropriate'

Score: 4

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New Greek Jokes

My lack of knowledge in Greek mythology has always been my Achilles elbow

Score: 0

The other day, I was told "you cant make a British joke about Greek mythology" I told him "Pollux to that"

Score: 0

I was planning on splitting the dinner bill with my girlfriend But she told me she wouldn’t go Dutch and Greek on the same night

Score: 2

What's the name of the famous Greek necrophiliac? Nick Porkakarkus

Score: 2

I've heard of a French kiss. But what's a Greek kiss? It's where they 69ner but suck each other's noses.

Score: 2

Why do those greek statues have such big wangs? Ah man :(

Score: 1

What do you call the first ever envelope posted by a Greek man? Alpha mail

Score: 1

What did Dave Grohl say when someone stole his Greek takeout? There goes my gyro!!!!!

Score: 3

Why did the New Zealand dairy Make the Greek dairy go out of business. Their cows were feta.

Score: 1

Two robbers broke into the Smithsonian today and stole an ancient Greek calendar. They both got 6 months.

Score: 2

My Favorite Character From Greek Mythology is the Crazy Brother of Hercules... ... Testiclees.

He was nuts.

Score: 3

I was reading a FB comment thread, and suddenly someone said "I DEMAND TO READ THE ANCIENT GREEK COMEDY 'THE FROGS.'" I was like, well, that Aeschylated quickly.

Score: 1

Why are annoying high school girls obsessed with Greek mythology? Because they have Arachne

Score: 1

A Greek, Spaniard and a Portuguese all go into a brothel, who pays? Germany.

Score: 3

Why is yogurt always in debt? Because it's Greek.

Score: 1

Hillary Lost Because She Sounded Like A Greek Instrument Yeah, she definitely sounded like a lyre.

Score: 2

I've never been good when it comes to Greek mythology. It truly is my Achille's elbow.

Score: 2

I was going to buy a greek yogurt today, every little helps. Come on guys, lets pull together.

Score: 1

Why should you never do a favor for a Greek? Because they wont repay it.

Score: 1

Warning, you'll only get this if you understand a rudimentary amount of ancient Greek. When an ancient Athenian was asked whether he preferred the sand or the sea, he replied:

Tha latta

Score: 2

How do you say 'Germany' in greek? Germoney

Score: 1

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