Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road Jokes

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Funniest Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road Jokes

My 5yo asked me to tell you guys this joke I'm so sorry... Why did the chicken cross the road?

Cause your butt stinks!! Ha! Stinky butt

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He doesn't understand downvotes so I'll eat the loss of karma cause this made him happy

Joke from my daughter Her: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Me: Why?
Her: To get to the ugly guy's house.
Me:???
Her: Knock knock
Me: Who's there?
Her: It's the chicken!

Why did the chicken cross the road? ​

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To take a photo in front of a church.

Funny Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road Jokes

My 5 y/o cousins joke :) Him:Why did the chicken cross the road?
Me: Why?
Him: To get to the stupid persons house.
Me: *voluntary laugh as older cousin*
Him: Knock knock.

Me: Who's there?

Him: It's the chicken!

I fell right into the little tackers trap!

My 8 year old cousin: " Why did the chicken cross the road?" 8yo cousin: To get to the idiot's house.

Me (patronizingly): Oh..uh..yeah good one haha.

8yo cousin: Wanna hear another one? Knock knock

Me: Who's there

8yo: The chicken.

2 Jokes Why did the chicken cross the road?

Why?

To get to the idiot's house!

...

Not funny? Okay, how about this one?
Knock Knock

Who's there?

The chicken.

Why did the chicken cross the road? No one knows. *But the road will have his vengeance.*

Why did the chicken cross the road? He saw a sign at the front of a building that said "chicken strips for $2"

My cute younger brother's contribution. Brother: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Me: Don't know, why?
Brother: To go to the ugly guy's house.
Me: Huh??
Brother: Knock, knock.
Me: Who's there?
Brother: The chicken.

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road? [This joke isn't available for EU users]

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get out of the range of the North Korean missiles

Knock !!!! My daughter told me this one. I hadn't heard it before.

daughter: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Me: I don't know.

daughter: She was going to visit the dummy.

Me: ?

daughter: Knock, knock

Me: Who's there?

daughter: The Chicken

Me: :/

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get out of North Korea's missile range.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the ugly guy's house.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

The chicken.

My daughter told me this joke Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because your butt stinks and that’s why mom left you

Why did the chicken cross the road? To find people who care about its cake day.

So he could watch Jeopardy. Why did the chicken cross the road?

Why did the chicken cross the road? To push Jake off a cliff.... he really hates Jake.




as told by my 6 year old who hates a kid named Jake.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I was telling jokes on his side.

Why did the chicken cross the road? North Korea's long range missiles don't reach that far

Joke from my Daughter Her: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Me: Why?
Her: To get to the ugly guy's home.
Me: ???
Her: Knock Knock.
Me: Who's there?
Her: It's the chicken!

Joke from my little sister... Her: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Me: Why?

Her: To get to the ugly guy's house.

Me:???

Her: Knock knock

Me: Who's there?

Her: It's the chicken!

Chicken Joke Why did the chicken cross the road?
-To get to your house.
Knock knock
-Who's there?
The chicken.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The road betrayed it first.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape Kim Jong Un's ballistic missile.

Joke from my cousin Her: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Me: Why?

Her: To get to the ugly guy's house.

Me:???

Her: Knock knock

Me: Who's there?

Her: It's the chicken!

My daughter pulled this on her aunt Her: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Aunt: I don't know. Why?

Her: To get to the old lady's house

Aunt: ???

Her: Knock knock

Aunt: Who's there?

Her: The chicken

A joke I am stealing from a little girl Her: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Me: Why?
Her: To get to the ugly guy's house.
Me: ???
Her: Knock knock
Me: Who's there?
Her: It's the chicken!

What did grandpa say before he kicked the bucket? How far do you think i can kick this bucket?
Also, Why did the chicken cross the road?
[He was in the bucket](/spoiler)

Why did the chicken cross the road? To socially distance themselves.

Joke by my 6 year old niece 6: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Me:I don't know why?
6: He didnt, he got hit by a truck!

Still gets me 13 years later.

A chicken joke Son: Dad, why did the chicken cross the road?

Me: I don't know. Why?

Son: To get to the ugly man's house.

Me: Hmm...

Son: Knock! Knock!

Me: Who's there?

Son: The Chicken!

Me: You're no son of mine.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To knock knock on the door, walk into the bar and change the lightbulb.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was incredibly depressed. He wanted to die. Getting hit by a car would be easy. He wanted to get to the "other side."

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiots house.

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Knock , knock.

​

Who's there?

​

The chicken.

A couple of kids jokes Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the idiots house…

Do you get it? no? lets try another

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
The Chicken

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because America's aging infrastructure doesn't adequately provide footbridges or pedestrian underpasses.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Gordan Ramsay: Because you didn't fu*king cook it

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the White House on the other side

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New Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road Jokes

I heard translated jokes are now a thing. Here's one from spanish: Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the other side!

Original:

¿Donde esta la bibliotecha?

¡Donde esta la bibliotecha!

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because they forget how to fly

Why did the chicken cross the road I don’t know but the CIA will in about five minutes

Why did the chicken cross the road To enjoy some KFC

Why did the chicken cross the road? I’m not sure, but he didn’t need teargas to do it.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don’t know I can’t speak chicken

Why did the chicken cross the road? he had to get to the bar, he has more than one joke to star in!


*Knock knock

"who's there?"

"It is I, the chicken. Let me in the bar man, I'm late for my joke!"



... a chicken walks into a bar.

Why did the chicken cross the road ? It wanted to play animal crossing

Why did the chicken cross the road? To avoid the other chicken.

Why did the chicken cross the road To comply with the 6ft social distancing mandate

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. The chicken knew it was a busy road. The chicken knew he was no longer meant for this world.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the forgetful idiot's house.

*Knock knock

Who is there?

The forgetful idiot. Sorry i forgot where my house is, can you help me?

-credit to my 10 year old niece

Why did the chicken cross the road? Its lockdown you fool. Chicken goes wherever chicken wants to go...

Why did the chicken cross the road with all its belongings on its back while getting bombed? Don't pick on him he's only a chicken...


Sorry I meant Czechian

Why did the chicken cross the road? To keep 6 feet away, and minimize exposure and contact with other chickens outside the coop during these trying times.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get essential items!
He's not going to a friend's place or a ..music festival, will you just get off his back, a chicken needs to eat too, you know!

Why did the chicken cross the road? To practice social distancing.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Social distancing

Why did the chicken cross the road? To practice self isolation.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it doesn't want to cross John Wick!

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well you see, it was deeply depressed. The road was fairly busy and it knew that being hit by a car would be the fastest way to go.

It was trying to get to "The Other Side."

Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape the gallows.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was a big Adele fan.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was important for the joke.

Why did the chicken cross the road Because the jokes on this sub aren’t funny

Why did the chicken cross the road? Me: why did the chicken cross the road?

Friend: Why?

Me: Because it wanted to meet a fool.

Me: knock knock.

Friend: Who is there?

Me: The chicken, open the door.

Why did the chicken cross the road? You: Why?

Me: To get the newspaper. Did you get it?

You: No

Me: Of course silly, because the chicken got it

My 9 year old daughter got me today...thought I'd share Why did the chicken cross the road?

To visit the village idiot.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Chicken

Why did the chicken cross the road? To join you because you look like you could use a friend.

Maître D crushes chef. Maître D to chef: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Chef: what, I don't know.

Maître D throwing dish at chef: Because you didn't cook it you twit.

Why did the chicken cross the road To get to the idiot’s house.

Knock knock

Another Chicken Joke Why did the chicken cross the road?

I don’t know. Why?

To get to the stupid person’s house.




Knock knock

Who’s there?

The chicken.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot on the other side.

Knock knock

(Who’s there)

The chicken you idiot

Why did the chicken cross the road? Guitar lesson

Why did the chicken cross the road with a bedsheet? To kill Jeffrey Epstein and make it look like a suicide.

Why did the chicken cross the road softly? .

.

.

.

‘Cause it couldn’t walk, hardly.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot’s house.
.
.

Knock knock

Who’s there?

The chicken

Why did the chicken cross the road? To remind you that Jeffrey Epstein did not kill himself

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!
(Suicide for those who are slow)

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Long Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road Jokes

So, why did the chicken cross the road?

So why did the chicken cross the road?  


SARAH PALIN: The chicken crossed the road because, gosh-darn it, he's a maverick!


BARACK OBAMA: Let me be perfectly clear, if the chickens like their eggs they can keep their eggs. No chicken will be required to cross the road to surrender her eggs. Period.


JOHN McCAIN: My friends, the chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.


HILLARY CLINTON: What difference at this point does it make why the chicken crossed the road?


GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or against us. There is no middle ground here.


DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?


BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken.


AL GORE: I invented the chicken.... and the road.


JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.


AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white?


DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he is acting by not taking on his current problems before adding any new problems.


OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross the road so badly. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a NEW CAR so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.


ANDERSON COOPER: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.


NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.


PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.


MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way the chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.


DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.


ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.


GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.


DONALD TRUMP: We should build a wall so the chicken can't cross the road.


BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.


ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.


BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2014, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2014. This new platform is much more stable and will never reboot.


ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?


COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

Why did the chicken cross the road?

DONALD TRUMP: I've been told by my many sources, good sources - they're very good sources - that the chicken crossed the road. All the Fake News wants to do is write nasty things about the road, but it's a really good road. It's a beautiful road. Everyone knows how beautiful it is.

Joe Biden: Why did the chicken do the...thing in the...you know the rest.

SARAH PALIN: The chicken crossed the road because, gosh-darn it, he's a maverick!

BARACK OBAMA: Let me be perfectly clear, if the chickens like their eggs they can keep their eggs. No chicken will be required to cross the road to surrender her eggs. Period.

AOC: Chickens should not be forced to lay eggs! This is because of corporate greed! Eggs should be able to lay themselves.

JOHN McCAIN: My friends, the chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON: What difference at this point does it make why the chicken crossed the road.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or against us. There is no middle ground here.

DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken.

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white?

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he is acting by not taking on his current problems before adding any new problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross the road so badly. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a NEW CAR so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way the chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.

KING DAVID: O Lord, why dost the chicken cross the road? And why art the chicken hawks beset around it? Surely in vain the road is crossed in the sight of any predator.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish it's lifelong dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2014, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2014. This new platform is much more stable and will never reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?


Edit: wow I’m so glad you guys are enjoying this, and my first gold!! Thank you!!!

Why did the chicken cross the road?

SARAH PALIN: The chicken crossed the road because, gosh-darn it, he's a maverick!

BARACK OBAMA: Let me be perfectly clear, if the chickens like their eggs they can keep their eggs. No chicken will be required to cross the road to surrender her eggs. Period.

JOHN McCAIN: My friends, the chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON: What difference at this point does it make why the chicken crossed the road?

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or against us. There is no middle ground here.

DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken.

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.... and the road.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white?

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he is acting by not taking on his current problems before adding any new problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross the road so badly. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a NEW CAR so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way the chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

DONALD TRUMP: We should build a wall so the chicken can't cross the road.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2014, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2014. This new platform is much more stable and will never reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

Why did the chicken cross the road?

The chicken clucked silently to himself as he wiped the rain water from his eyebrows. It has been raining for hours now, but that was good, he would be harder to follow. He breathed in and put his eye to the glass, staring down the scope, using it to peer through the window of the diner across the street. That's where the man sat, the farmer that started it all. He raised him from a chick, fed him, gave him a wife and child.... then took it all away for his own gain. But the chicken wasn't going to let it end like that, oh no. He clucked his final prayer, watched, waited for the rain to fall straight down, a sign of no wind.... and pulled the trigger.

Quickly he descended the ladder, leaving the gun behind, chickens didn't have fingerprints... he sprinted across the road, ducked into a nearby alley, and fled. Never to be seen again.

A female student was walking towards her locker when she noticed a post-it-note on the locker door.

She looked at it and it was the classic “why did the chicken cross the road?” joke. She didn’t really laugh as she heard it a million times, so she crumpled it up and threw it in the back of her locker.

The next day, another note was posted onto her locker and it read the *same* joke! She was slightly annoyed, but it didn’t really matter at this point. She crumpled it up and went about her day.

The third day, yet another note was posted onto her locker door and as expected, it had the same old joke on it. She was growing irritated and ripped it up before throwing it in the trash.

Later that day, she has talking to one of her Senior friends are lunch, and she mentions these notes she has gotten for 3 days now. Her friends laughs and says “Oh, you’re getting them now?”

She was very confused now, and asked her friend “What do you mean? Do other people get these notes?”

Her friend explained the whole thing. “You see, there is this weird kid that puts the same joke on different lockers using a post-it, and watches them find it. If they read it, he puts the same note up the next day. If they don’t read it, he gives up and goes onto the next person.”

At this point, the girl starts to laugh and says “Are you serious? This can’t be real!”

Her friend laughs and says, “Once you have Read It, it’s just re-post after re-post”.

So why did the chicken cross the road?

SARAH PALIN: The chicken crossed the road because, gosh-darn it, he's a maverick!

BARACK OBAMA: Let me be perfectly clear, if the chickens like their eggs they can keep their eggs. No chicken will be required to cross the road to surrender her eggs. Period.

JOHN McCAIN: My friends, the chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON: What difference at this point does it make why the chicken crossed the road?

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or against us. There is no middle ground here.

DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken.

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white?

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he is acting by not taking on his current problems before adding any new problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross the road so badly. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a NEW CAR so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way the chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2014, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2014. This new platform is much more stable and will never reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

Animal jokes for kids

Here is the list of the rest of our animal jokes, puns, and riddles for children and kids:

Q: What do you call a sleeping bull?
A: A bull-dozer.

Q: How do you fit more pigs on your farm?
A: Build a sty-scraper!

Q: What did the farmer call the cow that had no milk?
A: An udder failure.

Q: Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
A: Because they have big fingers!

Q: What do you get from a pampered cow?
A: Spoiled milk.

Q: Why are teddy bears never hungry?
A: They are always stuffed!

Q: Why do fish live in salt water?
A: Because pepper makes them sneeze!

Q: What do you get from a pampered cow?
A: Spoiled milk.

Q: Where do polar bears vote?
A: The North Poll

Q: What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the court room?
A: Odor in the court!

Q: What sound do porcupines make when they kiss?
A: Ouch!

Q: Why did the snake cross the road?
A: To get to the other ssssssside!

Q: Why are fish so smart?
A: Because they live in schools.

Q: What do you call a cow that won't give milk?
A: A milk dud!

Q: When is a well dressed lion like a weed?
A: When he's a dandelion (dandy lion)

Q: How does a lion greet the other animals in the field?
A: Pleased to eat you.

Q: What happened when the lion ate the comedian?
A: He felt funny!

Q: What fish only swims at night?
A: A starfish!

Q: Why is a fish easy to weigh?
A: Because it has its own scales!

Q: What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
A: An eggroll!

Q: Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
A: Because there was a KFC on the other side!

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To show everyone he wasn't chicken!

Q: Why did the lion spit out the clown?
A: Because he tasted funny!

Q: Why did the turkey cross the road?
A: To prove he wasn't chicken!

Q: What animals are on legal documents?
A: Seals!

Q: What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie?
A: A pie-thon!

Q: What is 'out of bounds'?
A: An exhausted kangaroo!

Q: What did the buffalo say to his son when he went away on a trip?
A: Bison!

Q: Why didn't the boy believe the tiger?
A: He thought it was a lion!

Q: How do bees get to school?
A: By school buzz!

Q: What do you call a bear with no ears?
A: B!

Q: What animal has more lives than a cat?
A: Frogs, they croak every night!

I think I just found out what the “Why did the chicken cross the road?” joke ACTUALLY meant.

“Why did the chicken cross the road?”
“To get to the other side.”

Maybe the “other side” meant the afterlife, meaning that when the chicken was crossing the road, it probably got ran over by a car.

The joke was that you were supposed to take the punchline very literally at first, but then realize that in reality, chicken committed suicide.

Dark humour, everyone. The whole god damn time.

My nieces joke

I was telling my little niece some jokes, and she loved them and started making up her own, but she doesn't quite understand how jokes work yet.
Her: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Me: I don't know, why DID the chicken cross the road?
Her: LIGHT BULB!

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Anybody who bothered to look could have seen the signs. Speed had done it's work on the road and it was starting to crack up - didn't know if it was coming or going. The chicken knew that. The chicken knew that road had always been a little slippery. Sure it started out with bright, clear lines and knew how to keep things in their proper lane, but now... Now the lines were blurred. Look, the chicken loved that road, but the road had become dangerous. It was just a matter of time before asphalt rolled over into death.

You want to know why the chicken crossed the road? Because the road was a heartbeat away from going rogue and crossing anybody that came along.

The chicken did what everybody else didn't have the balls to do and it fried for it. Say what you will, but if you just slap it between some bread and add, maybe, some lettuce and tomato, and it's a goddamn hero if you ask me.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the other side is the most common answer, however this answer leaves a great deal of room for interpretation. As noted historian and sociologist Ian Ormwell stated, "A joke cannot be taken at face value; all jests are subjective in their appearance and impact." Contrasting this view, the philosopher Ben Hoovian posited, "All things being equal, a joke must remain in its proper context. A joke with no context is not a joke." The issue was finally settled by post-modernist Irma J. King, who unequivocally stated, "It is the nature of humans to analyze, and all literature created should be subject to analysis." (For a more complete treatment on the subject I strongly recommend reading her seminal book "6000 Years of Humor and Counting: Humor's influence on Human Civilization.")

As for the original chicken joke, the most common interpretation would be to take the joke at face value: we are dealing with a "real" chicken and road. The humor of the joke is based on its simplicity: while most jokes rely on the extraordinary, the humor of this joke is based on the ordinary.

Of course, one does not need to take the joke at face value. The chicken and the road can be viewed metaphorically. What if the chicken is a metaphorical coward, and is a human rather than an avian. The humor is then based not on the randomness of chicken desires, but becomes an example of cowardice and retreat.
Even deeper, the road could be a metaphor for a dividing line, perhaps "the other side" is some kind of forbidden knowledge, perhaps even death. The simplicity of the joke reinforces the listener's ignorance; the joke raises more questions than answers. Sadly, we may never know. Obviously, more research is needed as to WHY the chicken crossed the road. But what kind of road is it? What kind of chicken is it? And if "the other side" is indeed death, what are the implications for our own existence?

Please review my sources for their veracity. Let me know of any discrepancies so I can further treat the topic with more accuracy.

Once upon a time there was an egg...

This egg was very smart, even at a very young age he decided to be the most successful chicken in the world! During his chick years he was so hardworking and competitive that he was always top of the class and graduated a couple of months younger than his peers. Of course, naturally he was accepted to prestigious Universities by the time he was eligible. He studied economics and then directly pursued law. He topped the bar exam and started his own firm, Chic & Ken, with an older successful rooster. It became the most prestigious firm not just in the entire farm. At this time as well, because the law allows it, he wed many lovely hens and fathered many healthy eggs. One dawn, he went out a little earlier than his usual time to crow. The moon was very round and seeing himself being the only animal awake, he started to contemplate about his life. He asked himself why was he so blessed in life and why did it feel like he never had a setback. How good life was if he could live forever. Unknown to him, his wish would be granted but it would be the start of a tragedy. The next day, his firm was the centerpiece of the biggest scandal in history and he found out that his partner was working closely with terrorists. Within two days, Chic & Ken was no more and he had to move his entire family to another smaller coop. He had to look other jobs to support such a big family and he went to the stable, and the garden, but no one would dare hire him. At nightfall he went back to his home but to his horror, his wives and their brood were massacred by foxes; he had just caught a glimpse of their tails when they were fleeing the scene. Hopeless, he tried to kill himself many times but to no avail and after a year, he decides to leave the farm. One day, he came up to a busy highway when suddenly a fairy appeared and said to him that he was cursed to live forever but today it has finally been lifted. Suddenly, the old rooster rejoiced and he rushed towards the highway. So why did the chicken cross the road? To go to the other side.

a classic joke with an odd twist

Why did the chicken cross the road?
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His family was experiencing financial troubles, and needed money. He tried applying for many jobs, but they just didn't quite work out. After ending up in the drug business to support his family, a deal went bad and he was shot, landing him in the hospital. The night his family arrived to check on him, the same shooter made his way to his room, and murdered his wife and 3 children, and somehow managed to evade police.

Months after this incident, Ralph, the same chicken who was in the hospital and witnessed his family's murder, was finally released. He had nothing to live for, nothing to look forward to in the future. He took up alcohol abuse for some time, until realizing what truly had to be done. He began tracking down his family's killer, and with each day spent, he became closer and closer to discovering the dealer's whereabouts. One day, he finally figured out who it was.

As he arrived at the killers' home, he took one last deep breath, then stormed in.

After fighting through many of the dealers' body-guards, Ralph finally reached the notorious drug dealing murder, Foghorn Leghorn. As a bloody battle ensued, it was clear who the winner would be..

As Ralph staggered out of the destroyed home, bloodied, yet victorious, he realized something. All the tracking, all the killing, all the bloodshed he had created, was all in vain. He realized that taking Foghorn's life didn't, and wouldn't, bring his family back.
Finding himself dumbfounded, he began to trot, head down, through the field where the bad drug deal happened, almost a year ago now. He took one last deep breath, looked at the stars, and took his first step on the road. This was it he decided, he was finally going to reunite with his family again once more.

As the headlights raced towards him, he heard his family in unison whisper to him "You're finally home Ralph, you're finally home."

As a lawyer, whenever someone asks me the joke "why did the chicken cross the road," this is always my response.

As counsel for the chicken, I have advised my client to invoke its 5th Amendment right to remain silent. The chicken with neither confirm nor deny crossing the road, nor the existence of the road thereof. Your concept of ‘crossing’ and ‘road’ do not rise to criminal conduct in any jurisdictional court of law. My client remains innocent until proven guilty. In addition, your false answers to the chicken allegedly crossing the road are negligent, reckless, intentional, malicious and thus constitute civil actions for defamatory libel and slander. Demand is hereby made to (a) immediately cease and desist from further discussing this matter in a public or private forum, and (b) issue a full written retraction and apology of your false answer within five (5) business days. My client reserves the right to sue you in a court of law and seek an injunction and extensive monetary damages from your unlawful answer.

-butterfly105, Esq.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the hospital. You see, inside was his dear wife, about to give birth to their first child. The Chicken was, of course, rather excited. "I'm about to become a Dad!" he thought to himself, racing down the white, squeaky corridors of the hospital.

He burst into the maternity ward's waiting room where he found his wife, hunched over and crying on one of the seats. A nearby Doctor was next to her, looking forlornly at her. "H-Honey? What's wrong, what happened?!" he asked loudly, walking up to her.

His wife sniffled, through her weird chicken beak and said "The B-B-Baby...it was...s-stillborn. It's been th-that way since the Third Trimester..." with tears in her eyes.

The chicken gasped. He didn't know what to say. His beautiful baby. His life as a father. All snatched in an instant. The chicken began crying as well, weeping loudly and holding his wife in his arms tightly. "Life is such a cruel thing..."

Why did The Chicken cross the road? To see his Baby get to the other side.

Keanu Reeves jokes

I feel like we should start making 'Keanu Reeves' jokes like 'Chuck Noris' jokes!
Keanu Reeves can gargle peanutbutter.
Some kids wear Superman PJs, Superman wears Keanu Reeves PJs
Keanu Reeves had a staring contest with the sun, and won
Why did the chicken cross the road, it was following Keanu Reeves

Personally would love to hear more lol

Why did the chicken cross the road? (answers from various personalities)

**GEORGE W. BUSH**
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road. The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.

**AL GORE**
I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the chicken
crossing the road represents the application of these two different
functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring greater services to the American people.

**HANS BLIX**
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed access to the other side of the road.


**MOHAMMED ALDOURI** (Iraq's ambassador to the UN)
The chicken did not cross the road. This is a complete fabrication. We don't even have a chicken.

**SADDAM HUSSEIN**
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on the chicken.


**HELEN CLARK**
Unless the chicken had UN approval to cross, this is a blatant breach of international law.


**MARIAN HOBBS**
Chickens must get resource consent to cross roads. Officials from the Ministry for the Environment will investigate the activities of this chicken.


**DR. SEUSS**
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, The chicken crossed the road, But why it crossed, I've not been told!


**ERNEST HEMINGWAY**
To die. In the rain. Alone.


**MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.**
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.


**JOHN LENNON**
Imagine - chickens crossing roads everywhere - in peace.


**FOX MULDER**
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?

**BILL GATES**
I have just released e-Chicken 2003, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook - and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.

**ALBERT EINSTEIN**
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?


**BILL CLINTON**
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken, please?

Why did the chicken cross the road?

His family was experiencing financial trouble, and needed money. He tried applying for many jobs, they just didn't work out. After ending up working in the drug business to support his family, a deal went bad and he got shot, landing him to the hospital. The night his family arrived to check on him. The same shooter made his way into his room and murdered his wife and three kids. And somehow managed to evade the police. Months after this incident, Ralph The same chicken who was in the hospital and witnessed his family getting killed, was finally released he had nothing to live for. He took up an Achol abuse for some time. Until realizing what had to be done. He began tracking down his family's killer. Each day he spent he became more and more closer to his wherabouts. and then finnaly he found him. As he arrived at the door he took one last deep breath, and stormed in.
After fighting against many of the dealers body gaurds, Ralph finally reached the notourius drug dealing murderer, Fog Horn Leg Horn. as a bloody Battle ensued, it was clear who would be the winner. As Ralph staggers out of the destroyed home, bloody yet victorious. He realized something. All the tracking all the killing was in vain. He realized thattaking Foghorn Leghorn
Life didn't and wouldn't bring his family back. Finding himslef dumbfounded he began to trot, he head down to the field where the bad drug deal happend. Almost a year ago. He took one last deep breath, looked at the stars, and took his first step into the road. This was it he decided he would finally reunite with his family again once more.
As the headlights raced toward him, he heared his family in union whispering "your finally home Ralph, your finally home."

Jokes about Dad's new glasses

My Dad needs glasses for the first time. He's in his 50s and needs them for reading small print. Happens to most people with age. No biggie...
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However, I have worn glasses from a young age and he mocked me mercilessly for being a specky four-eyes with neverending delight. So now I have my opportunity for revenge - em, I mean, the opportunity to use humour to make him feel comfortable with his new glasses. I'd love to hear some more from you.

Here's what I have so far:

1

Me: Knock knock

Dad: Who's there?

Me: Can't you tell? Your new glasses mustn't be very good.

2

Me: Now I know why Corrie (our labrador while I was growing up) was so clever.

Dad: Why?

Me: Because she was a guide dog.

3

Dad: Can I have some juice?

Me: I'm afraid not. You're already using all the glasses.

4

Me: What's the difference between you and a blind person?

Dad: I don't know.

Me: Oh, can't you see the difference?

5

Me: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Dad: I don't know.

Me: It saw you driving and was looking for a place to hide.

6

Me: have you see the Two Ronnies 'four-eyes' sketch?

Dad: it's four-candles.

Me: Oh dear, your eyesight's worse than I thought.

All 'Why did the chicken cross the road' jokes I know

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To show the armadillo that it was possible.


Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To get away from Colonel Sanders!


Q: Why did the chicken cross the road twice?
A: Because it was a double-crosser.


Q: Why did the Iraqi chicken cross the road?
A: To take over the other side.


Q: Why did the chicken cross the playground?
A: To get to the other slide.


Q: Why did the chicken cross the beach?
A: To get to the other tide.


Q: Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
A: Chickens hadn't evolved yet.

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