Chuck Norris looked directly at the sun today... And the sun got so scared it hid behind the moon.
Two blondes are walking and one asks, “ which is closer, the moon or Florida?” And the other responds, “duh... ... can you see Florida?”
My son identifies as a crescent moon. I’m worried, but my wife says it’s just a phase.
Canada's starting a space program to send a spaceship to the moon They're calling the spaceship Apollo-G.
Solar radiation has turned the American flags on the moon pure white... ...so now it looks like France landed there.
The moon landing was staged The moon landing was staged and it was shot by Stanley Kubrick, the reason it looks so real is because of Kubrick's obsession with filming on location.
What kind of eclipse is it when the sun moves in front of the moon? An Apocaclipse.
TIL The American flag on the moon has turned white due to radiation Now it looks like the French landed on the moon
TIL the American flag on the moon has turned into the French flag. Due to solar radiation, the red and blue pigment has disappeared, leaving the flag to be completely white.
First woman on the Moon:
"Houston, we have a problem."
What's the problem?
Please tell us?
"You know what the problem is."
They say you can’t get a decent job without education. But look at Albert Einstein – he was a drop-out and still ended up being the first man on the moon!
Neil Armstrong used to tell really bad jokes about walking on the Moon. When nobody laughed he would follow with, "Ah well. I guess you had to be there."
How does the man in the moon cut his hair? (From my 9yo child) Eclipse it.
I asked my buddy if he always puts an orange wedge in his beer. He said, "Ehh not really. Maybe once in a Blue Moon."
Conspiracy theories are like moon landings. They're all fake
TIL the american flag planted on the moon is now completely white due to radiation from the sun. Great, now future archeologists are gonna think the French got there first.
So I decided to build a Restaurant on the moon The food is great and all but there's no atmosphere.
The man who invented auto-correct has died. His funfair is on sundial at moon
First woman on the moon
W: Houston, we have a problem
H: What is it?
W: Nevermind its nothing
H: What is the problem?
H: Tell us what the problem is!
I'm not sure what the first church on the moon will look like... But I'm sure the mass will be the same.
Have you guys heard about the new restaurant on the moon? Early critics say the food is good, but there's no atmosphere.
When the US went to the moon.... ...they planted the American Flag. After all these years the radiation from the Sun will have bleached it completely white, so now if Aliens find it they are going to think the French were there first.
Astronomers got tired of watching the moon go round the earth for 24 hours, so they called it a day.
Edit: FFS guys it's a ruddy joke. It doesn't have to be scientifically accurate
The first woman on the Moon contacted Houston.
"Houston, we have a problem."
*"What is it?"*
*"What's the problem?"*
*"Please tell us."*
Kanye West shows up at Neil Armstrong's memorial service... and says "Imma let you finish, but Micheal Jackson had one of the best moon walks of ALL TIME"
The moon landings were faked… But the director was such a perfectionist that he demanded they be filmed on location.
Of Course the Moon Landings Were Staged I've never heard of a single staged rocket going to the moon.
There are two types of countries, Those that use the metric system and those that have put a man on the moon.
How does the moon cut its hair?
Do you ever put an orange in your beer? Once in a Blue Moon
What was the motto of the German rocket program? Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss you'll hit London.
When does a Smurf pull his pants down? Once in a blue moon.
What do you call a Mexican walking on the moon? An astronaut you racist..
What does the barber do to the moon’s hair? Eclipse it.
What's Donald Trump's favorite Pink Floyd Album? The Dark Side of the Moon... What a filthy casual.
Did you know that Solar Radiation has turned the American Flags on the Moon White? Great... Now people will think France has been there
So I’ve heard the American flags on the moon are white now because of solar radiation. Does this mean the French own it?
An old English joke:
1. What do you a call a Russian on a moon? A problem
2. Two Russians on the moon? A very serious problem
3. All Russians on the moon? Problem solved
How did the man in the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it.
What kuusi palaa means in English
The spruce is on fire.
The spruce returns.
The number six is on fire.
The number six returns.
Six of them are on fire.
Six of them return.
Your moon returns.
Your moon is on fire.
What do you see when a werewolf pulls down its pants? A full moon.
Walking on the moon was a leap but playing jazz on the moon, that'd be some giant steps for mankind.
Niel Armstrong is in a room full of people, celebrating the moon landing
"I tell you guys, it was so much fun. It really was great. Or because there were so many craters, I guess you could say it was *crate*"
"Ah, I guess you had to be there"
What did the Spanish broadcaster say to the Sun when he caught the Sun cheating on the moon? I ain’t judging, but I gotta Telemundo.
Found this bar on the moon Great beer, no atmosphere.
Why did the sun rise when the moon died? It was mourning.
Who's The Dumbest Person On Earth? The moon.
Someone asked Neil Armstrong what he thought of the Moon Eh’ it had no atmosphere
A group of mad scientists believes there are blood sucking insects on the moon They're lunar ticks.
On the last mission to the moon, NASA set up a restaurant.
It didn’t last very long.
The food was good, but there was no atmosphere.
Who was the first to perform a moon walk Neil Amstrong
In 1970 they said that in 30 years we'd be vacationing on the moon. It's 2018 and instead we're talking about vacationing on Mars some day.
Do you know what a reverse werewolf is? When a wolf sees a person and turns into the moon.
An astronomy joke, kind of...
Why do werewolves howl at the full moon?
Because it's just after the waxing phase!
How did the hockey match end between the ocean and the moon? It was tide.
I'm very excited for the eclipse I'm glad the moon is finally getting its day in the sun.
Donald Trump just tweeted he will build a Moon base and be the first person to step foot on the Moon again. I can hear it now... Houston this is Tranquility base the Ego has landed
Because of the suns radiation the U.S flag on the moon is now white. Looks like the French finally got there.