Hilarious Prison Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Prison Jokes

Why is the white guy the scariest guy in prison? Cause you know he is actually guilty.

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After my wife died I couldn’t look at women for 20 years But when I got out of prison, it was totally worth it

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My brother who has a stutter is in prison. It’s just heartbreaking knowing he will never finish his sentence.

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Prison may be just one word But to others, it's a whole sentence

Edit: I fell asleep after posting this and woke up seeing it on the front page, thanks guys!

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So my twin brother called me from prison He said, "So you know how we finish each others' sentences?"

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Bill Clinton tried to cheer up Hillary this morning. He reminded her that Nelson Mandela wasn't elected President until after he had served 27 years in prison.

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If I ever go to prison, I’m gonna change my name to mitochondria... I want everyone to know I’m the powerhouse of the cell.

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Why is the white guy the scariest guy in prison? You know he's guilty.

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After my wife died, I haven't been able to look at other women for 10 years... But now that I'm out of prison I can honestly say that it was worth it.

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What's the scariest thing about a white guy in a prison? You know he actually did it.

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There is still hope for for Hillary Clinton Nelson Mandela became President after 27 years in prison.

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A man just released from prison was walking down the street shouting, "I'm free! I'm free!"... A little boy yelled back at him, "that's nothing, I'm four!"

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I just got a new job teaching English at a maximum security prison. It's going to be tough but like any other job out there..... It'll have its prose and cons.

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I wanted to marry my English teacher when she got out of prison... ...but apparently you can't end a sentence with a proposition.

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Stuttering man released from prison early.. He could not finish his sentence

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After my wife died I couldn’t look at a woman for twenty years. But when I got out of prison it was totally worth it.

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Two women in a shared cell were in the prison for 15yrs. When they were freed... ...they spent another 2hrs talking outside.

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What do prison and the Caps Lock button have in common? They both turn “o” into an “O”.

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My friend went to prison for something he didn't do. He didn't wipe the fingerprints off the gun.

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why should you be afraid of a white man in prison? because you know he's guilty.

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Did you know that if you take all the blood vessels from an average size human body and lay them out end to end You'll go to prison for a very long time.

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There was a prison break and I saw a midget climb up the fence.... ...... as he jumped down he sneered at me and I thought, well that's a little condescending.

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What do prison and the shift key have in common they both turn your "o" into an "O"

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Child: Dad I want to be a plumber when I grow up Dad: That’s a very low goal. Have some ambition

Child: How about being a doctor?

Dad: That’s right!

Child: Or a teacher, a prison guard, a gym trainer....

Dad: HAVE YOU BEEN USING MY COMPUTER?

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To Hillary supporters, don't give up hope! Nelson Mandela served 27 years in prison before becoming President.

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I got a prison tattoo of mitochondria Now I truly am the powerhouse of the cell

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I work in a prison, and when people ask me if I enjoy my job... ...I tell them that it has it's pros and cons.

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So, my twin brother just called me from prison. He said, "So you know how we tend to finish each others' sentences?"

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prison may be just one word to you but to others, it's a whole sentence

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A psychic midget has escaped from prison.. Police are looking for a small medium at large.

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I keep on taking kitchen utensils from my parents My friends say I'll be in prison if I'm caught, but it's a whisk I'm willing to take.

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I was shocked to find out that 35% of America's prison population is white. Surely we don't need that many guards.

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what do you call a midget psychic who just escaped from prison? a small medium at large

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Today I saw a midget prisoner climbing down the prison wall... He turned and sneered at me, I thought: 'that's a little condescending'.

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I passed by the prison today and they were playing soccer on the field I shouted "Pass the ball, I'm free!!"

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What do you call a psychic midget that escapes from prison? A small medium at large.

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Why did the duck go to prison? He got caught selling quack.

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Why are white people the scariest in prison? Because you know they're guilty.

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Today I drove by a prison... and saw a midget prisoner climbing down the wall.

As he jumped down, he sneered at me and I thought, well, that's a little condescending.

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New Prison Jokes

My neighbours tore down the Trump sign I had in my front yard. It said “TRUMP FOR PRISON 2020”

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My brother who has stutter is in prison right now.... So sad he will not be able to complete his sentence

Taken from u/gagga_hei

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I was driving by the prison today, and I saw a dwarf climbing down the prison wall. So I thought to myself, “that’s a little condescending.”

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Had a friend with a stutter land himself in prison. I wonder if he'll ever finish his sentence...

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Never try to high five a prison guard They will leave you hanging

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Why did the lead guitarist get sent to prison? for fingering a minor

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I met a man in prison who said he was a conductor... I found this especially true when I saw him on the electric chair

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A prison van and a cement truck collided Several hardened criminals escaped

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What do you call a dwarf with esp who escapes from a prison? A small medium at large.

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I'd tell you a joke about prison, but... It'd be a long sentence.

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Did you hear about the midget psychic that escaped from prison? That makes him a small medium at large

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Prison may be just one word But to others, it's a whole sentence

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What's the first thing a disgraced politician hears after leaving prison? "Welcome to Goldman Sachs."

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After getting released from prison, I hear OJ wants to get married again.... I guess he wants to take another stab at it.

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One of the best feelings in the world is to wake up with someone cuddling with you... Unless you're in prison.

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When released from prison after 30 years I went for a prostate exam The doctor said he could just eyeball it.

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Verizon made a new minimum security prison and despite what many would believe its very successful. its got no bars but you still cant get out of it for 2 years

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A psychic Dwarf has escaped from the prison!!! Police are looking for a small medium at large.

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They say I play like a prison guitarist I'm always behind a few bars, and I can never find the right keys

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A psychic dwarf escapes from prison They said it was a small medium at large...

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One of the most wonderful things in life is to wake up and enjoy a cuddle with somebody unless you're in prison

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because prison changes people.

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If you refuse to pay your TV licence in England, you can be sent to prison… Where, ironically, you'll get plenty of BBC…

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Should there be more books in prison? I think the cons outweigh the prose.

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I'll never forget what my father said to me the first time I went to prison "Hello son"

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Did you hear about the psychic dwarf that escaped from prison? He is a small medium at large.

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After my wife died I couldn't look at a woman for twenty years but when I got out of prison it was totally worth it.

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What do you call a phone in prison? A cell phone

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A psychic midget escaped from prison... The police are looking for a small medium at large.

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A biologist is sent to prison, The first words he says to his cell mate, "I am the mitochondria."

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Why did the musician get sent to prison? Because he touched A minor

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I hope I don't go to prison after what I did today. When I was in the shower I dropped the soap like ten times.

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What does Pokemon and a prison break have in common? You gotta catch Jamal.

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Yesterday I was walking past the state prison and saw a midget in an orange jumpsuit climbing down from the concrete wall, screaming insults at the guards.

I thought, "Well, thats a little condescending little con descending"

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The news is talking about the prison sentences of nearly half a dozen turban-wearing men who committed some minor felonies "One to Three for Five Sikhs"

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What do you get when a short psychic escapes prison? A small medium at large!

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Local Apple grower was sent to federal prison this week... In cider trading.

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One of the best things in life is waking up next to somebody; Unless you are in prison

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Why don't women stay long in prison? As soon as they have their period they are let out.
Everyone knows a period comes at the end of a sentence.

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My frog went to prison the other day... He kermitted a serious crime!

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A psychic dwarf has escaped from prison He's a small medium at large

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A man had three wishes For his first wish, he asked for a room without rent. He then asked for food without having to cook. Finally, he asked for people that always look after him.
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He ended up in prison.

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Just got out of prison after attacking a man on New Year's. Excuse me for getting nervous while an Arab was counting down from 10.

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What do you call a clown in prison? A sillycon

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I saw a dwarf escaping prison yesterday, and as he was climbing down the outer fence he turned and sneered at me. I thought to myself, that's a little condescending.

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Sherlock was convicted for child molestation A disgusted Watson visited him in prison, and said, "I cannot believe you were caught exposing yourself to a child in high school!"

"Elementary, my dear Watson..."

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Why did the Christmas tree get thrown in prison? Treeson.

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Why don’t you see any slow black people? All the slow ones are in prison.

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What do you call a psychic midget who escaped from prison to go to Death Valley to shoot up? What do you call a psychic midget who escaped from prison to go to Death Valley to shoot up?

A high low small medium at large.

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What did the peadophile say when he was released from prison? I feel like a kid again

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Jared Fogel is teaching a music class in prison Today's lesson is fingering A minor

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During a prison break, I saw a midget climb the fence of the prison yard. As he jumped down, he sneered at me... I thought to myself, "well, that was a little con-descending."

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A psychic midget just escaped from prison The news report said there was a small medium at large.

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Did you see the story about the psychic dwarf escaping prison? The headline was "Small medium at large".

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Did you hear about the NFL player who went to prison? He went in a tight end and came out a wide receiver.

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What do they call me in prison? Mitochondria, cause I'm the powerhouse of the cell

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What's the difference between an IRS audit and prison rape? In prison, you have a chance at getting a reach around

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Why did the rooster get 20 years in prison? He got caught on the internet, looking up chicks.

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The Energizer bunny was just releases from prison. He was charged with battery.

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As a volunteer, I taught a seminar on how to write persuasive speeches at my local prison. I titled the course: "Prose and Cons".

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