Contents
Contents
Why is the white guy the scariest guy in prison? Cause you know he is actually guilty.
After my wife died I couldn’t look at women for 20 years But when I got out of prison, it was totally worth it
My brother who has a stutter is in prison. It’s just heartbreaking knowing he will never finish his sentence.
Prison may be just one word
But to others, it's a whole sentence
Edit: I fell asleep after posting this and woke up seeing it on the front page, thanks guys!
A guy with a stutter died in prison before he could finish his sentence.
So my twin brother called me from prison He said, "So you know how we finish each others' sentences?"
Bill Clinton tried to cheer up Hillary this morning. He reminded her that Nelson Mandela wasn't elected President until after he had served 27 years in prison.
If I ever go to prison, I’m gonna change my name to mitochondria... I want everyone to know I’m the powerhouse of the cell.
Why is the white guy the scariest guy in prison? You know he's guilty.
After my wife died, I haven't been able to look at other women for 10 years... But now that I'm out of prison I can honestly say that it was worth it.
What's the scariest thing about a white guy in a prison? You know he actually did it.
There is still hope for for Hillary Clinton Nelson Mandela became President after 27 years in prison.
A man just released from prison was walking down the street shouting, "I'm free! I'm free!"... A little boy yelled back at him, "that's nothing, I'm four!"
I just got a new job teaching English at a maximum security prison. It's going to be tough but like any other job out there..... It'll have its prose and cons.
I wanted to marry my English teacher when she got out of prison... ...but apparently you can't end a sentence with a proposition.
Stuttering man released from prison early.. He could not finish his sentence
After my wife died I couldn’t look at a woman for twenty years. But when I got out of prison it was totally worth it.
Two women in a shared cell were in the prison for 15yrs. When they were freed... ...they spent another 2hrs talking outside.
What do prison and the Caps Lock button have in common? They both turn “o” into an “O”.
My friend went to prison for something he didn't do. He didn't wipe the fingerprints off the gun.
why should you be afraid of a white man in prison? because you know he's guilty.
Did you know that if you take all the blood vessels from an average size human body and lay them out end to end You'll go to prison for a very long time.
There was a prison break and I saw a midget climb up the fence.... ...... as he jumped down he sneered at me and I thought, well that's a little condescending.
What do prison and the shift key have in common they both turn your "o" into an "O"
Child: Dad I want to be a plumber when I grow up
Dad: That’s a very low goal. Have some ambition
Child: How about being a doctor?
Dad: That’s right!
Child: Or a teacher, a prison guard, a gym trainer....
Dad: HAVE YOU BEEN USING MY COMPUTER?
To Hillary supporters, don't give up hope! Nelson Mandela served 27 years in prison before becoming President.
I got a prison tattoo of mitochondria Now I truly am the powerhouse of the cell
I work in a prison, and when people ask me if I enjoy my job... ...I tell them that it has it's pros and cons.
So, my twin brother just called me from prison. He said, "So you know how we tend to finish each others' sentences?"
prison may be just one word to you but to others, it's a whole sentence
A psychic midget has escaped from prison.. Police are looking for a small medium at large.
I keep on taking kitchen utensils from my parents My friends say I'll be in prison if I'm caught, but it's a whisk I'm willing to take.
I was shocked to find out that 35% of America's prison population is white. Surely we don't need that many guards.
what do you call a midget psychic who just escaped from prison? a small medium at large
Today I saw a midget prisoner climbing down the prison wall... He turned and sneered at me, I thought: 'that's a little condescending'.
I passed by the prison today and they were playing soccer on the field I shouted "Pass the ball, I'm free!!"
What do you call a psychic midget that escapes from prison? A small medium at large.
Why did the duck go to prison? He got caught selling quack.
Why are white people the scariest in prison? Because you know they're guilty.
Today I drove by a prison...
and saw a midget prisoner climbing down the wall.
As he jumped down, he sneered at me and I thought, well, that's a little condescending.
My neighbours tore down the Trump sign I had in my front yard. It said “TRUMP FOR PRISON 2020”
My brother who has stutter is in prison right now....
So sad he will not be able to complete his sentence
Taken from u/gagga_hei
I was driving by the prison today, and I saw a dwarf climbing down the prison wall. So I thought to myself, “that’s a little condescending.”
Had a friend with a stutter land himself in prison. I wonder if he'll ever finish his sentence...
Never try to high five a prison guard They will leave you hanging
Why did the lead guitarist get sent to prison? for fingering a minor
I met a man in prison who said he was a conductor... I found this especially true when I saw him on the electric chair
A prison van and a cement truck collided Several hardened criminals escaped
What do you call a dwarf with esp who escapes from a prison? A small medium at large.
I'd tell you a joke about prison, but... It'd be a long sentence.
Did you hear about the midget psychic that escaped from prison? That makes him a small medium at large
Prison may be just one word But to others, it's a whole sentence
What's the first thing a disgraced politician hears after leaving prison? "Welcome to Goldman Sachs."
After getting released from prison, I hear OJ wants to get married again.... I guess he wants to take another stab at it.
One of the best feelings in the world is to wake up with someone cuddling with you... Unless you're in prison.
When released from prison after 30 years I went for a prostate exam The doctor said he could just eyeball it.
Verizon made a new minimum security prison and despite what many would believe its very successful. its got no bars but you still cant get out of it for 2 years
A psychic Dwarf has escaped from the prison!!! Police are looking for a small medium at large.
They say I play like a prison guitarist I'm always behind a few bars, and I can never find the right keys
A psychic dwarf escapes from prison They said it was a small medium at large...
One of the most wonderful things in life is to wake up and enjoy a cuddle with somebody unless you're in prison
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because prison changes people.
If you refuse to pay your TV licence in England, you can be sent to prison… Where, ironically, you'll get plenty of BBC…
Should there be more books in prison? I think the cons outweigh the prose.
I'll never forget what my father said to me the first time I went to prison "Hello son"
Did you hear about the psychic dwarf that escaped from prison? He is a small medium at large.
After my wife died I couldn't look at a woman for twenty years but when I got out of prison it was totally worth it.
What do you call a phone in prison? A cell phone
A psychic midget escaped from prison... The police are looking for a small medium at large.
A biologist is sent to prison, The first words he says to his cell mate, "I am the mitochondria."
Why did the musician get sent to prison? Because he touched A minor
I hope I don't go to prison after what I did today. When I was in the shower I dropped the soap like ten times.
What does Pokemon and a prison break have in common? You gotta catch Jamal.
Yesterday I was walking past the state prison
and saw a midget in an orange jumpsuit climbing down from the concrete wall, screaming insults at the guards.
I thought, "Well, thats a little condescending little con descending"
The news is talking about the prison sentences of nearly half a dozen turban-wearing men who committed some minor felonies "One to Three for Five Sikhs"
What do you get when a short psychic escapes prison? A small medium at large!
Local Apple grower was sent to federal prison this week... In cider trading.
One of the best things in life is waking up next to somebody; Unless you are in prison
Why don't women stay long in prison?
As soon as they have their period they are let out.
Everyone knows a period comes at the end of a sentence.
My frog went to prison the other day... He kermitted a serious crime!
A psychic dwarf has escaped from prison He's a small medium at large
A man had three wishes
For his first wish, he asked for a room without rent. He then asked for food without having to cook. Finally, he asked for people that always look after him.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
He ended up in prison.
Just got out of prison after attacking a man on New Year's. Excuse me for getting nervous while an Arab was counting down from 10.
What do you call a clown in prison? A sillycon
I saw a dwarf escaping prison yesterday, and as he was climbing down the outer fence he turned and sneered at me. I thought to myself, that's a little condescending.
Sherlock was convicted for child molestation
A disgusted Watson visited him in prison, and said, "I cannot believe you were caught exposing yourself to a child in high school!"
"Elementary, my dear Watson..."
Why did the Christmas tree get thrown in prison? Treeson.
Why don’t you see any slow black people? All the slow ones are in prison.
What do you call a psychic midget who escaped from prison to go to Death Valley to shoot up?
What do you call a psychic midget who escaped from prison to go to Death Valley to shoot up?
A high low small medium at large.
What did the peadophile say when he was released from prison? I feel like a kid again
Jared Fogel is teaching a music class in prison Today's lesson is fingering A minor
During a prison break, I saw a midget climb the fence of the prison yard. As he jumped down, he sneered at me... I thought to myself, "well, that was a little con-descending."
A psychic midget just escaped from prison The news report said there was a small medium at large.
Did you see the story about the psychic dwarf escaping prison? The headline was "Small medium at large".
Did you hear about the NFL player who went to prison? He went in a tight end and came out a wide receiver.
What do they call me in prison? Mitochondria, cause I'm the powerhouse of the cell
What's the difference between an IRS audit and prison rape? In prison, you have a chance at getting a reach around
Why did the rooster get 20 years in prison? He got caught on the internet, looking up chicks.
The Energizer bunny was just releases from prison.
He was charged with battery.
. . .
As a volunteer, I taught a seminar on how to write persuasive speeches at my local prison. I titled the course: "Prose and Cons".
Funniest Jokes
New Jokes