Prison may be just one word
But to others, it's a whole sentence
Edit: I fell asleep after posting this and woke up seeing it on the front page, thanks guys!
So my twin brother called me from prison He said, "So you know how we finish each others' sentences?"
My cousin who stutters was sentenced to 6 months in prison That was two years ago, but he still hasn’t finished his sentence
After my wife died, I haven't been able to look at other women for 10 years... But now that I'm out of prison I can honestly say that it was worth it.
A man just released from prison was walking down the street shouting, "I'm free! I'm free!"... A little boy yelled back at him, "that's nothing, I'm four!"
After my wife died I couldn’t look at a woman for twenty years. But when I got out of prison it was totally worth it.
Two women in a shared cell were in the prison for 15yrs. When they were freed... ...they spent another 2hrs talking outside.
My friend went to prison for something he didn't do. He didn't wipe the fingerprints off the gun.
Did you know that if you take all the blood vessels from an average size human body and lay them out end to end You'll go to prison for a very long time.
There was a prison break and I saw a midget climb up the fence.... ...... as he jumped down he sneered at me and I thought, well that's a little condescending.
Child: Dad I want to be a plumber when I grow up
Dad: That’s a very low goal. Have some ambition
Child: How about being a doctor?
Dad: That’s right!
Child: Or a teacher, a prison guard, a gym trainer....
Dad: HAVE YOU BEEN USING MY COMPUTER?
To Hillary supporters, don't give up hope! Nelson Mandela served 27 years in prison before becoming President.
The first night in prison and not sleeping next to my wife, I wrestled uncontrollably with a large and throbbing erection. I just wish it had been mine.
I just drove past a prison and noticed a short fella escaping by sliding down a rope hung from the prison wall... I thought, that’s a little condescending.
Came up with this joke this morning in the shower. I took a tour of a prison for poets, at the end the warden asked what I thought of it. I said it has its prose and cons.
Breaking news just in. A cement mixer has collided with a prison van on the highway,
Motorists are asked to be on the lookout for 16 hardened criminals
I keep on taking kitchen utensils from my parents My friends say I'll be in prison if I'm caught, but it's a whisk I'm willing to take.
R. Kelly has asked to be released from prison after being concerned about catching COVID-19. I bet if it was COVID-13 he wouldn't mind catching it at all.
Just found out that my old 3rd grade teacher is now doing time in prison for sexually assaulting a student. I gotta say, he always rubbed me the wrong way.
I was walking past a prison the other day, and
I saw a dwarf in an orange jumpsuit shimmying down the side of the building.
I thought to myself, “now that’s a little con descending.”
I was shocked to find out that 35% of America's prison population is white. Surely we don't need that many guards.
What's the difference between a South African prison and Leonardo Dicaprio? A South African prison has an Oscar
Today I saw a midget prisoner climbing down the prison wall... He turned and sneered at me, I thought: 'that's a little condescending'.
One time I saw a midget climbing down a prison wall... I thought to myself that’s a little condescending!
A prison guard is trying to catch someone escaping The prisoner was a little person who climbed the fence and as he was going down the other side he laughed at the guard. The guard watched in disbelief thinking, "Now that is a little con-decending."
Someone said "you think you're funny, try and make prison rape funny." I replied "well, I've been sent to jail a few times and each time I've been raped. I don't hold it against him, my brother just takes monopoly very seriously."
What's the difference between a prison and a police department? One is full of ruthless, degenerate scum with no respect for the law. The other is full of people they arrested.
Less time in prison than he deserved why did the convict get? Because the sentence got mixed up.
There is a huge debate about letting NFL teams play against prison inmates as part of their rehabilitation program. Understandable, it has a big list of pros and cons.
Just found out my stuttering cousin died in the prison Damn... She couldn't even finish her sentence!
Because of the lockdown, the people from the morgue didn’t come to prison today So the death row inmates were left hanging.
You know who the real victims of this virus are? Ex cons, just made it out of prison to be put in solitary confinement.
My cousin who stutters was sentenced to 3 months in prison 5 years ago He's yet to finish his sentence
A mumble rapper gets out of prison Everyone starts praising them for finally finishing a sentence.
Did you hear about the guy who went to prison for smoking herbs? He's doing time for doing thyme.
If being handsome was a crime, I'd be in prison for a lifetime Because there are 8 bodies in my freezer
"Remember the time when we used to finish each other sentences?" I told my twin brother over the phone from prison
Two idiots want to escape prison
One says "Go to the wall, if it's shot enough we'll jump over it. If it's too tall, we'll dig a tunnel.
The other one goes outside to check.
When he returns, he says "Dude, we can't escape."
"There's no wall"
Why was Six afraid of Seven? 7️⃣ Because Seven had two priors and extended probation and got his nickname in prison for how many minutes it took. "Took what?" You ask? You don't wanna know.
The best prison nickname would be mitochondria... That way everyone would know you're the powerhouse of the cell.
My brother who has a stutter got life in prison It’s just heartbreaking knowing he will never finish his sentence
I got a new job working in a cafeteria. I asked the guy I was serving if he wanted to eat in or takeaway and he told me to f*ck off! I love working in the prison canteen!
Epstein: "I'm afraid I don't know how things work here in prison." Prison guard: "Don't worry, you'll get the hang of it."
To discourage slacking all retro games have been removed from jails Officers were upset to find Contra banned in the prison
My brother who has stutter is in prison right now....
So sad he will not be able to complete his sentence
Taken from u/gagga_hei
What did the prison guard say when Epstein cried for help? "I'll be right there, just hang on for a minute."
Today, I saw a dwarf climbing down a prison wall. I thought to myself, “That’s a little condescending”
So I’m In Prison And I Don’t Even Know Why All I did was board a plane and I saw my old friend Jack so I yelled “ Hi, Jack!”
A man walked into a bar and yelled, "shots for everyone!" He is now in prison for 28 counts of murder.