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Funniest Jokes
New Jokes
Funniest Blonde Jokes
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Premature ejaculator in need of smoking hot size 6 blonde.
Preferably with blue eyes and huge double d....
Nevermind.
I went on a date with a blonde woman last night. "Do you have any kids?" she asked. "Yes," I replied. "I have one child that's just under two." She said, "I might be blonde, but I know how many one is."
Why does the blonde have smudges on the inside of her windshield?
She needs to drag her finger across the words as she's reading street signs.
Note: I just made this up. However, please tell me if someone else has a similar one.
How do you know a blonde has been trying to commit suicide? There are bullet holes in the mirror.
A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are all in the 9th Grade. Which one is the sexiest? The blonde, because she's the only one who's 18.
What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair brunette?
Artificial intelligence
*edit: I kinda thought it was funny, and* poof *it has 3000 upvotes. Thanks for the motivation*
There were 3 blondes walking on a trail...
The first blonde said "Those look like deer tracks!"
The second blonde said "No those are totally moose tracks... "
The third blonde said "Nope, they are goat tracks!"
Then a train hit them
From my dad: What do you get when a topless blonde rubs sun tanning oil on a topless brunette? Your camera.
What did the blonde say when asked if her turn signal worked? “Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no.”
Blonde walks into a... A blonde goes into a laundry mat and asks to have her sweater cleaned. The laundromat attendant doesn't hear her correctly and says, "come again?" The blonde blushes slightly and giggles, "oh, no it's just mustard this time."
Why can't a blonde dial 911?
Q: Why can't a blonde dial 911?
A: She can't find the eleven.
A blonde came up to the librarian and yelled, "This book sucks! There's way too many characters and the story makes no sense!" The librarian said, "So you're the one who took our phone book."
A blonde is putting together a puzzle. She is very frustrated and asks her husband for help.
"It's supposed to be a tiger!" she cries.
"Honey," says her husband wearily, "Put the Frosted Flakes back in the box."
Doctor: "I'm just waiting for your X-Ray." Blonde: "I've never dated anyone by that name."
Why did the Blonde feel so proud of herself for finishing a jigsaw puzzle in only six months? It said 2-4 years on the box.
Blonde Joke of the day
Two blondes fell down a hole.
One said, "It's dark in here isn't it?"
The other replied, "I don't know; I can't see." :-D
What happens if a Danish blonde moves to Sweden? The average intelligence of both countries goes up.
Why did the blonde snort splenda? She thought it was diet coke.
A blonde and a brunette got stuck in an elevator..
Blonde starts shouting: "HELP! HELP!"
Brunette turns to her and says: "We should shout together."
Blonde: "TOGETHER! TOGETHER!"
An amnesiac walks into a bar He goes up to a beautiful blonde and says, “So, do I come here often?”
Two blondes are locked out of their car... The first blonde is trying to unlock the car using a coat hanger. The second says to the first "hurry up! It looks like it's going to rain and the top's down!"
How do you know when a blonde is having a bad day? When she can't find her pencil and there is a tampon behind her ear.
[Blonde] What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells? Pregnant.
Three blondes found some tracks...
The first blonde said, "Those are bear tracks!"
The second blonde said, "No, those are deer tracks!"
The third blonde said, "No those are dog tracks!"
And that was when the train hit them.
A blonde is pulled over by a police officer...
"May I see your License Ma'am?"
"You know you cops really need to get your act together... One day your buddy takes my license away, and the next you ask for it"
Two blondes get stuck in elevator
One of them starts yelling: HELP, HEEEELP
The other one then suggests: Maybe we should start yelling together
The first blonde starts yelling again: TOGETHER, TOGETHEEEEER
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are in 5th grade. Which one is hotter? The blonde..because she’s 18.
Another blonde joke
A professor told his class:
"Fame will come to you only after you succeed!"
A blonde asked, "Who is 'Seed'?"
A man sees a blonde across the river.
Man: How do I get to the other side?
Blonde: You are on the other side.
My blonde girlfriend froze In the middle of love making so I gave her an interrogative facial expression. " oh..I saw this on youporn" she said," they call it bufferring".
A blonde tried to commit suicide Police found six bullet holes in her mirror.
The blonde jokes on this sub need to stop! I'm blonde and I don't get them.
What do a call a blonde that dyes her hair brown? Artificial Intelligence.
A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are all in the ninth grade, which one is the hottest? The blonde, because she's the only one who's 18
A blonde goes to work in tears. Her boss asks, "What's wrong?"
She says, "My mom died."
He told her to go home, but she said, "No, I'll be fine."
Later that day, her boss finds her crying again. He says, "What's wrong?"
She replies, "I just talked to my sister, and her mom died, too!"
A blonde walks into a library and says to the librarian "CAN I GET A BIG MAC FRIES AND A COKE?!!" The librarian says "excuse me miss.....this is a library." The blonde says...."oh im sorry (whispers) can i get a big mac fries and a coke?"
A blonde and a brunette are on opposite sides of a river...
The brunette yells across, "Help me get to the other side of the river!"
The blonde yells back, "You *are* on the other side of the river!"
A blonde stands on the bank of a river
There is no bridge in sight. She sees another blonde across the river and shouts:
How do I get to the other side of the river?!
The other blonde shouts back:
Why? You already are on the other side!
A Blonde Crashes a helicopter A passerby jumps out and rushes up to her and exclaims,"What happened!?". She explains,"It got cold so I turned off the fan".