Blonde Jokes

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Funniest Blonde Jokes

I went on a date with a blonde woman last night. "Do you have any kids?" she asked. "Yes," I replied. "I have one child that's just under two." She said, "I might be blonde, but I know how many one is."

Funny Blonde Jokes

Why does the blonde have smudges on the inside of her windshield? She needs to drag her finger across the words as she's reading street signs.

Note: I just made this up. However, please tell me if someone else has a similar one.

How do you know a blonde has been trying to commit suicide? There are bullet holes in the mirror.

What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair brunette? Artificial intelligence

*edit: I kinda thought it was funny, and* poof *it has 3000 upvotes. Thanks for the motivation*

There were 3 blondes walking on a trail... The first blonde said "Those look like deer tracks!"

The second blonde said "No those are totally moose tracks... "

The third blonde said "Nope, they are goat tracks!"

Then a train hit them

From my dad: What do you get when a topless blonde rubs sun tanning oil on a topless brunette? Your camera.

What did the blonde say when asked if her turn signal worked? “Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no.”

Blonde walks into a... A blonde goes into a laundry mat and asks to have her sweater cleaned. The laundromat attendant doesn't hear her correctly and says, "come again?" The blonde blushes slightly and giggles, "oh, no it's just mustard this time."

Why can't a blonde dial 911? Q: Why can't a blonde dial 911?
A: She can't find the eleven.

A blonde came up to the librarian and yelled, "This book sucks! There's way too many characters and the story makes no sense!" The librarian said, "So you're the one who took our phone book."

A blonde is putting together a puzzle. She is very frustrated and asks her husband for help. "It's supposed to be a tiger!" she cries.

"Honey," says her husband wearily, "Put the Frosted Flakes back in the box."

Why did the Blonde feel so proud of herself for finishing a jigsaw puzzle in only six months? It said 2-4 years on the box.

Blonde Joke of the day Two blondes fell down a hole.

One said, "It's dark in here isn't it?"

The other replied, "I don't know; I can't see." :-D

What happens if a Danish blonde moves to Sweden? The average intelligence of both countries goes up.

Why did the blonde snort splenda? She thought it was diet coke.

A blonde and a brunette got stuck in an elevator.. Blonde starts shouting: "HELP! HELP!"


Brunette turns to her and says: "We should shout together."


Blonde: "TOGETHER! TOGETHER!"

An amnesiac walks into a bar He goes up to a beautiful blonde and says, “So, do I come here often?”

Two blondes are locked out of their car... The first blonde is trying to unlock the car using a coat hanger. The second says to the first "hurry up! It looks like it's going to rain and the top's down!"

How do you know when a blonde is having a bad day? When she can't find her pencil and there is a tampon behind her ear.

[Blonde] What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells? Pregnant.

Three blondes found some tracks... The first blonde said, "Those are bear tracks!"

The second blonde said, "No, those are deer tracks!"

The third blonde said, "No those are dog tracks!"

And that was when the train hit them.

A blonde is pulled over by a police officer... "May I see your License Ma'am?"


"You know you cops really need to get your act together... One day your buddy takes my license away, and the next you ask for it"

Two blondes get stuck in elevator One of them starts yelling: HELP, HEEEELP

The other one then suggests: Maybe we should start yelling together

The first blonde starts yelling again: TOGETHER, TOGETHEEEEER

Another blonde joke A professor told his class:

"Fame will come to you only after you succeed!"

A blonde asked, "Who is 'Seed'?"

A man sees a blonde across the river. Man: How do I get to the other side?

Blonde: You are on the other side.

My blonde girlfriend froze In the middle of love making so I gave her an interrogative facial expression. " oh..I saw this on youporn" she said," they call it bufferring".

A blonde tried to commit suicide Police found six bullet holes in her mirror.

The blonde jokes on this sub need to stop! I'm blonde and I don't get them.

Why do blonde women have bruised belly buttons? Because blonde men are stupid too

A blonde was driving on the way to disneyland. She came to an intersection and stopped, she saw a sign that read, 'Disneyland Left'. So she pulled a U-turn, cried and drove home.

Why did the blonde woman have bruises on her belly button? Because blonde men are stupid too.

Two blonde girls are celebrating at a table... The waiter comes by and asks "What are you celebrating?"

They say "We finished this puzzle in only 6 months! And the box says from 2 to 4 years!"

A blonde drops off a shirt at the cleaners... A blonde drops off a shirt at the cleaners. On the way out of the door the lady at the counter says come again. The blonde says no, its toothpaste this time.

A blonde rings up an airline and asks: "How long are your flights from America to England?" The woman on the other end of the phone replies: "Just a minute". The blonde thanks her and hangs up the phone.

​

What do a call a blonde that dyes her hair brown? Artificial Intelligence.

A blonde walks into a drycleaners and says 'good morning' to the elderly attendant and hands him a blouse. The man didn't hear too well and asked, "Come again"?

The blonde turned red and giggled. "No, just mayonnaise this time."

There's only 3 blonde jokes... The rest are true stories.

A blonde walks into a library and says to the librarian "CAN I GET A BIG MAC FRIES AND A COKE?!!" The librarian says "excuse me miss.....this is a library." The blonde says...."oh im sorry (whispers) can i get a big mac fries and a coke?"

What time is it? A blonde asked someone what time it was, and they told her it was 4:45. The blonde, with a puzzled look on her face replied,

"You know, it's the weirdest thing, I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different answer."

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New Blonde Jokes

How did the blonde break her legs raking leaves? She fell out of a tree.

Two blondes are walking through the park... One blonde says to her friend, "Awww. Look at that poor little dog with one eye!"

The second blonde covers an eye with her hand and says, "Where?"

Why did the blonde enter the tennis courts naked? Because the sign said tennis shoes only

I started dating this blonde chick last night. "Do you have any kids?" she asked.

"Yes," I replied.

"I have one child that's just under two."

She said, "I might be blonde, but I know how many one is."

A blonde drops off her dress at the dry cleaners, The dry cleaner says come again
The blonde says it’s toothpaste this time

Why couldn’t the blonde dial 911? She couldn’t find the eleven.

How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday? You tell her a joke on Wednesday.

[Blonde Joke] A blonde woman is walking around town with her breast exposed A man walks up to her and says "ma'am did you know your boob is out?"

The blonde looks down, seeing her exposed breast screams "OH MY GOD I LEFT MY BABY ON THE BUS"

What do you call it when a blonde woman puts on a wig? Artificial Intelligence.

A blonde is walking by a river She sees an another blonde on the other side of the river.

-Hey! - she yells.
-Yes? - the other one responds.
-How can I get to the other side? - she asks.
-Fool! You are already on the other side!

What should you do if a blonde throws a pin at you? Run, there's a live grenade in her mouth.

A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are all in the 9th Grade. Which one is the sexiest? The blonde because she's the only one that's 18

How do you make a blonde laugh on a Sunday morning Tell her a joke on Friday :)

A guy in a restaurant stops a pretty blonde waitress as she passes by his table... "Excuse me, Miss. Can I ask you a question about the menu, please?"

She throws a drink in his face. "The men I please are none of your damn business!"

A blonde and a brunette are stuck in the elevator Blonde: Help! Help!
Brunette: We should yell together!
Blonde: Together! Together!

A blonde stands on the bank of a river There is no bridge in sight. She sees another blonde across the river and shouts:

How do I get to the other side of the river?!

The other blonde shouts back:

Why? You already are on the other side!

A Blonde Crashes a helicopter A passerby jumps out and rushes up to her and exclaims,"What happened!?". She explains,"It got cold so I turned off the fan".

What do you call it when a blonde dies her hair black? Artificial intelligence.

A blonde crashes a helicopter... A police officer drives by and exclaims, "What happened!?". She says, "It was getting cold so I turned off the fan".

Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the bar? Someone told her drinks were on the house.

what do you call a blonde with brains a golden retriever

How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday? Tell her the joke on Wednesday.

What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair brown? AI (Artificial Intelligence)

A blonde and a brunette are on an elevator... And a short man with dandruff gets on and then comes off on the next floor.

The brunette goes, "Wow, that guy could really use some Head and Shoulders."

The blonde says, "How do you give shoulders?"

Why did the blonde take a ladder into the bar? She heard drinks were on the house.

A Blonde Walks into a Library A blonde walks into a library and slams a book on the desk.

She says, "This is the worst book I've ever read!! There's no plot and it has way too many characters!!"

The librarian says, "So that's what happened to our phonebook."

What do you call it when a blonde dyes their hair brown Artificial Intelligence

Two blondes are on either sides of a river. The 1st blonde yells to the other, "How do I get to the other side?!".

The 2nd blonde thinks for a moment and then yells back, "You're already on the other side!"

A blonde and a brunette were on an elevator... And a short man with dandruff gets on and then comes off on the next floor.
The brunette goes, "Wow, that guy could really use some Head and Shoulders."
The blonde says, "How do you give shoulders?"

A blonde walks into a laundromat... And says to a worker, "can you wash this shirt?"

The worker did not hear her and said "come again?"

The blonde than replies "no it is mustard this time"

How do you make a blonde laugh at Easter? Tell her a joke at Christmas

A blonde was talking to her redhead friend about her boyfriends dandruff problem... The redhead says "why don't you give him head and shoulders."

The blonde replies "how do you give shoulders?"

A blonde and a brunette are on opposite sides of a river... The brunette yells across, "Help me get to the other side of the river!"

The blonde yells back, "You *are* on the other side of the river!"

I held the door ... open for a gorgeous blonde at the bar last night.

My wife said, "You've never held the door open for me."

I said, "What about that time you threatened to leave?"

BLONDE LUCK A blonde was at a gumball machine. She kept putting quarters in and getting gumballs out. The man behind her asked if he could get a gumball. She said, "Shut up! I'm winning."

Why did the blonde get excited after finishing her puzzle in 6 months? The box said 2-4 years!

How do you keep a blonde busy for years? Tell her to count the stairs on an escalator.

George stops at red light... A beautiful blonde stops just beside him.
George pull down his window.
She also pull down her window.
George smiles and asks with a grin on his face " you also farted?"

Why can't a blonde dial 911? Because she can't find the number 11

EDIT: Maybe the fact she thinks it was called 9-11 was part of the joke?

How do you get a blonde on a roof? Tell her drinks are on the house.

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Long Blonde Jokes

Two engineers were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking at its top. A blonde walked by and asked what they were doing.

"We're supposed to find the height of this flagpole," said Sven, "but we don't have a ladder."

The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a couple of bolts, and laid the pole down on the ground. Then she took a tape measure from her handbag, took a measurement and announced, "Twenty one feet, six inches," and walked away.

One engineer shook his head and laughed, "Typical blonde! We ask for the height and she gives us the length!"

I swiped right on a girl without a picture, and we matched.

So after a brief chat i went to go pick her up. I wasn't expecting much, probably 300 lbs with bad skin, but hey, I was so desperate it was this or join an incel chatroom.

I walked up to the door and lo and behold, 5'2", baby blue eyes, strawberry blonde hair, all the right curves in all the right places. I couldn't believe my luck.

I asked her what she did for a living. She said she taught sunday school. Now I never had me a Christian girl, but I'm open minded so I took her to dinner.

On the way, I lit a joint and asked her if she puffs.

"Oh heaven's no, what would I tell my Sunday school children."

I said okay, weed's 50/50 some people do some people don't. And I took her to the best restaurant I knew. I ordered the steak, she ordered the lobster. I asked for the second most expensive bottle of wine on the menu. When the waitress came to pour, She said she didn't drink.

I said "you don't drink?!?"

"Oh heaven's no, what would I tell my Sunday school children."

Excellent food, sparkling conversation but i'm bummed out, I don't know what to do with a girl like this.

So I'm driving her home and pass a cheap motel, I figure, what have I got to lose. So i ask:

"wanna get a room and knock boots?"

She says: I thought you'd never ask!

I say: Really? What are you gonna tell your Sunday school children?

She says: The same thing I tell them every week. You don't have to drink and do drugs to have a good time!

My (blonde) sister hates blonde jokes. I (redhead) told her I have a redhead joke for her. She was eager to hear it!

A redhead goes for a drive through the country, just enjoying the peaceful ride with her windows open. She has to stop as a shepherd is moving his flock across the road. The redhead gets out of her car to stretch and has an idea.

"Hey Mister! If I can guess how many sheep you have, may I keep one?"

The shepherd has hundreds of sheep and feels confident enough to agree. The redhead looks over the flock and says, "361." The shepherd is stunned that she guessed correctly but, being a man of his word, allows her to pick out her favorite. The redhead is about to put her new pet in her car when the shepherd calls out to her.

"Hey Lady! If I can guess your real hair color, may I have my dog back?"

My sister was not amused.

A blonde is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet.

A blonde is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet.


“I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat the procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you’ll have lost at least five pounds.”


When the blonde returns, she’s lost nearly 20 pounds.


“Wow, that’s amazing!” the doctor says.


“Did you follow my instructions?”


The blonde nods…


“I’ll tell you, though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day."


“From hunger, you mean?” said the doctor.


“No, from skipping,” replied the blonde.

A Cowboy Walks Into a Saloon, Naked . . .

. . . except for his boots.

“Where your clothes at, Slim?”

“Back at the barn. I was feeding the horses when a beautiful blonde drove up. She says, ‘I wanna show you something in the barn. Follow me.’

So I followed her. She says, ‘Take off all your clothes.’ So I do. Then she takes off her clothes, and says, ‘You like what you see?’ Fellers, she had the most bodacious body I ever did see! I said, ‘Yes, ma’am, I do!’”

Then she lays down on a blanket, all friendly-like, and says, ‘Well, then, go to town, Cowboy!’

So I pulled on my boots and here I am.”

A blonde got tired of blonde jokes

One evening, she went home and memorized all the state capitals.

Back in the office the next day, some guy started telling a dumb blonde joke. She interrupted him with a shrill announcement, "I've had it up to here with these blonde jokes. I want you to know that this blonde went home last night and did something probably none of you could do. I memorized all the state capitals."

One of the guys, of course, said, "I don't believe you. What is the capital of Nevada?"

"N," she answered.

A flight is on its way to Sydney when a blonde in economy class gets up, and moves to the first class section and sits down

The flight attendant watches her do this, and asks to see her ticket.

She then tells the blonde that she paid for economy class, and that she will have to sit in the back.

The blonde replies, “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to Sydney and I’m staying right here”.

The flight attendant goes into the cockpit and tells the pilot and the co-pilot that there is a blonde bimbo sitting in first class, that belongs in economy, and won’t move back to her seat.

The co-pilot goes back to the blonde and tries to explain that because she only paid for economy she will have to leave and return to her seat.

The blonde replies, “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to Sydney and I’m staying right here”.

The co-pilot tells the pilot that he probably should have the police waiting when they land to arrest this blonde woman who won’t listen to reason.

The pilot says, “You say she is a blonde? I’ll handle this, I’m married to a blonde. I speak blonde”.

He goes back to the blonde and whispers in her ear, and she says, “Oh, I’m sorry” and gets up and goes back to her seat in economy.

The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and asked him what he said to make her move without any fuss.

I told her, “First class isn’t going to Sydney “




Edit: Thanks for the gold. Thanks for the comments. Thanks for the abuse - whilst highlighting that it is an unoriginal joke. At no point did I proclaim to have written it, but it is a cracking joke.

A flight is on its way to Sydney when a blonde in economy gets up, moves to the first class section and sits down

The flight attendant watches her do this, and asks to see her ticket.

She then tells the blonde that she paid for economy class, and that she will have to sit in the back.

The blonde replies, “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to Sydney and I’m staying right here”.

The flight attendant goes into the cockpit and tells the pilot and the co-pilot that there is a blonde bimbo sitting in first class, that belongs in economy, and won’t move back to her seat.

The co-pilot goes back to the blonde and tries to explain that because she only paid for economy she will have to leave and return to her seat.

The blonde replies, “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to Sydney and I’m staying right here”.

The co-pilot tells the pilot that he probably should have the police waiting when they land to arrest this blonde woman who won’t listen to reason.

The pilot says, “You say she is a blonde? I’ll handle this, I’m married to a blonde. I speak blonde”.

He goes back to the blonde and whispers in her ear, and she says, “Oh, I’m sorry” and gets up and goes back to her seat in economy.

The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and asked him what he said to make her move without any fuss.

I told her, “First class isn’t going to Sydney “

A blind man enters a ladies bar by mistake.

He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a drink. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"

The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke sir, you should know five things....

1 - The bartender is a blonde girl.
2 - The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3 - I'm a 6 feet tall, 200-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4 - The woman sitting next to me is blonde and is a professional weightlifter.
5 - The lady to your right is a blonde and is a professional wrestler.

Now think about it seriously Mister, do you still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and says, "Nah.... not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

A blonde mom is cooking dinner when her blonde daughter walks in

The daughter asks, "Mom, why do people think we blondes are stupid?"

Her mother replies, "I'll show you", and taps hard on the kitchen counter.

Somewhat confused, the blonde daughter says, "Someone's at the door!".

The blonde mother laughs. "This is why people think we're stupid. Now watch over the stove for me while I answer the door."

A blonde called her boyfriend and said,

“Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can’t figure out how to put it together or how to get it started.” Her boyfriend asked, “What is it supposed to be when it’s finished?” The blonde said, “ According to the picture on the box, it’s a tiger.” Her boyfriend decided to go over and help with the puzzle. She let him in and showed him where she had the puzzle spread out all over the table. He studied the pieces for a moment, looked at the box, then turned to her and said, “First of all, no matter what we do, we’re not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger.” He took her hand and said, “Second, I want you to relax. Let’s have a nice cup of hot chocolate and then.......” he sighed, ..... “Let’s put all of these Frosted Flakes back into the box.”

Late one night a police officer was patrolling a desolate area popular with young couples doing more than just sitting in the dark.

Catching his attention was a couple in a car with the interior light on. Moving closer, the cop could see a young man behind the steering wheel reading a newspaper. In the backseat a young blonde was knitting.

The lawman walked up to the vehicle and knocked on the driver-side window. The startled lad rolled it down and said, “Yes, Officer?”

“What are you doing?” the cop asked.

“Isn’t it obvious?” the young man replied. “I’m reading today’s newspaper.”

Pointing to the blonde in the backseat, the policeman grunted, “And what’s she doing?”

“I believe she’s knitting a sweater,” the guy behind the wheel responded.

“How old are you?” the cop inquired.

“I’m 22, Officer.”

“And the girl—how old is she?”

The dude in the driver’s seat looked at his watch and said, “She’ll turn 18 in ten minutes.”

A young blonde girl in her late teens, wanting to earn some extra money for the summer, decided to hire herself out as a "handy woman" and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood.

She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had
any odd jobs for her to do. "Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint the
porch" he said. "How much will you charge me?"


Delighted, the girl quickly responded,
"How about $50?"


The man agreed and told her that the paint and brushes and everything she would need were in the garage.


The man's wife, hearing the conversation, said to her husband, "Does
she realize that our porch goes ALL the way around the house?"


"That's a bit cynical, isn't it?" he responded.


The wife replied, "You're right. I guess I'm starting to believe all those
dumb blonde jokes."


A few hours later the blonde came to the door to collect her money.


"You're finished already??" the startled husband asked.


"Yes," the blonde replied, "and I even had paint left over so I gave it two
coats."


Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50 and handed it to her along with a $10 tip.


"Thank you," the blonde said, "And, by the way, it's not a Porch,
it's a Lexus...

A blonde joke...

A Blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started."

Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"

The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster."

Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says,

"First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster."

He then takes her hand and says, "Secondly, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then..... he said with a deep sigh" ............

"Let's put all these Corn Flakes back in the box

A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, “Wanna hear a blonde joke?”

In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, “Before you tell that joke, you should know something, our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde, Im a 6’ tall, 200lb black belt, the guy sitting next to me is 6’2”, weighs 225, and he’s a rugby player, the fella on your right is 6’5” pushing 300 and he’s a wrestler. Each on of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?”

The blind guy says, “Nah, not if Im gonna have to explain it 5 times.”

A blonde and her husband are watching the news...

News: A Brazilian man died while skydiving when his parachute didn’t open.

The blonde bursts into tears

Husband (comforting her): I know it’s sad, but people need to know that there’s a risk while skydiving.

Blonde: But that’s a lot of people. How many is a Brazilian?

Blonde gets caught speeding.

The cop is also a blonde.

Cop: “Let me see your driver’s license.”

Driver: “What’s that?”

Cop: “A square thing with your picture on it.”

Blonde fumbles through her purse, finds a mirror, sees herself in it, and hands it to the cop.

Cop looks at it, hands it back and says,

“I’m gonna let you go without a ticket. I didn’t know you were a cop.”

(Edit: Glad you liked an old classic)

A blonde goes to work in tears.

A blonde goes to work in tears. Her boss asks, "What's wrong?"
She says, "My mom died." He told her to go home, but she said, "No, I'll be fine." Later that day, her boss finds her crying again. He says, "What's wrong?" She replies, "I just talked to my sister, and her mom died, too!"

50,000 blondes met in a center for the first ever "Blondes Are Not Stupid" Convention

Their leader says, "We are all here today to prove to the world that blondes are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer?"

A blonde gingerly works her way through the crowd and steps up to the stage.

The leader asks her, "What is 15 plus 15?"

After 15 or 20 seconds she says, "Eighteen!"

Obviously everyone is a little disappointed. Then 50,000 blondes start cheering, "GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE!"

The leader says, "Well since we've gone to the trouble of getting 60,000 of you in one place and we have the world- wide press and global broadcast media here, gee, uh, I guess we can give her another chance."

So he asks, "What is 5 plus 5?"

After nearly 30 seconds she eventually says, "Ninety?"

The leader is quite perplexed, looks down and just lets out a dejected sigh -- everyone is disheartened - the blonde starts crying and the 50,000 girls begin to yell and wave their hands shouting, "GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE!"

The leader, unsure whether or not he is doing more harm than good, eventually says, "Ok! Ok! Just one more chance -- What is 2 plus 2?"

The girl closes her eyes, and after a whole minute eventually says, "Four?"

Throughout the stadium pandemonium breaks out as all 50,000 girls jump to their feet, wave their arms, stomp their feet and scream... "GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE!"

A blonde called her boyfriend and said, Please come over here and help me

I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can’t figure out how to get it started.”

Her boyfriend asked, “What is it supposed to be when it’s finished?”

The blonde said, “According to the picture on the box, it’s a tiger.”

Her boyfriend decided to go over and help with the puzzle. She let him in and showed him where she had the puzzle spread all over the table. He studied the pieces for a moment, then looked at the box, then turned to her and said, “First of all, no matter what we do, we’re not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger.”

He took her hand and said, “Second, I’d want you to relax… Let’s have a nice cup of tea, and then…”

He sighed, “let’s put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box.”

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