Gym Jokes

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Funniest Gym Jokes

I invited my girlfriend to go to the gym with me and then I didn’t show. I hope she gets the message that we’re not working out.

Score: 23065

I joined a gym and said to the trainer, “I want to impress beautiful girls, which machine should I use?” He said, “Try the ATM outside”

Score: 11079

A 40 year old man asked the Trainer in the Gym, 'I want to Impress Beautiful Girls, which Machine should I use?' The Trainer replied, 'Outside the Gym, there is an ATM. Try that'

Score: 2749

This idiot on the treadmill at the gym. Just put a water bottle in the Pringles holder.

Score: 2019

I just joined a gym for religious minorities. Jehova's Fitness

Score: 1466

Why do some couples not go to the gym? Some relationships don't work out...

Score: 1425

I'm starting a gym where we bring exercise equipment right to your front door, whether you requested it or not. I'm calling it "Jehovah's Fitness"

Score: 1343

Why doesn’t where’s Waldo go to the gym Because no one can spot him

Score: 1304
Funny Gym Jokes
Score: 982

I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today That's 7 years in a row now

Score: 893

I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s 7 years in a row now.

Score: 794

It's now 7 months since I joined the gym and nothing has changed. Maybe it's time I go there personally and find out what's wrong.

Score: 791

I don't know why I broke up with my girl at the gym... I guess we just weren't working out.

Score: 656

I invited my girlfriend to go to the gym with me, then I didn't show... I hope she gets the message that we aren't working out.

Score: 652

I was suspicious or my girlffriend cheating on me with this guy from her gym. So i pick up her phone at night when she's sleeping .. ...and drive to this dude's place on the other side of the town and go to stand on his porch to see if the wifi connects

Score: 633

At the gym I walked into the gym and see a bunch of ladies working out, I ask the guy who is running the gym, “Sir, what machine should I use to impress the ladies?” He smiles says “Try the ATM in the lobby”.

Score: 520

I just saw some idiot at the gym he put a water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill.

Score: 507

I asked my new friend to meet me at the gym, but they never showed up. I guess the two of us aren't going to work out.

Score: 439

I invited my girlfriend to the gym and then I didn’t show.... I hope she gets the message that we aren’t working out,

Score: 401

Child: Dad I want to be a plumber when I grow up Dad: That’s a very low goal. Have some ambition

Child: How about being a doctor?

Dad: That’s right!

Child: Or a teacher, a prison guard, a gym trainer....

Dad: HAVE YOU BEEN USING MY COMPUTER?

Score: 356

I started going to the gym a year ago and so far I lost 500 pounds! The only problem is I’m British...

Score: 339

I have Abs olutely wasted my gym membership.

Score: 332

The guys at the gym called me a fat loser ... It's really great how they notice my effort.

Score: 332

Two Canadian body builders were working out at the gym. After they were done, they sat together in the locker room.

One turned to the other and said, "I'm sore, eh?"

The other said, "What for?"

Score: 302

I can't believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That's seven years in a row now.

Score: 299

I regret joining the gym recently.. leaving the EU would've been a more effective way to lose pounds

Score: 298

After years of hard work in the gym as a personal trainer I finally admitted I wasn’t strong enough and quit. I just handed in my too weak notice.

Score: 218

I’v been a gym member for 6 months without any progress... I think I need to go personally to see what ‘s going on

Score: 217

Why did the priest go to the gym? For muscle mass.

I thought of this one in the shower this morning.

Score: 191

Honestly, I don't mind leg day at the gym It's just the two days after that I can't stand

Score: 184

I told my girlfriend to meet me at the gym but I didn't go I hope she gets the message that we're not working out.

Score: 157

When I want to exercise, I wear my gym clothes... ...but when I want to wear something more formal, I wear my James clothes.

Score: 29

Not every couple goes to the gym Because some relationships don't work out

Score: 20

I don't know why I broke up with the gym... ..I guess we just weren't working out.

Score: 18

Back when Stormy Daniels was in high school, none of her fellow classmen realized she would go down in history. Guys were usually getting it in the gym locker room or behind the teacher's parking lot.

Score: 15

Why I love working out at the gym I go to! There's this hot MILF always walking around checking me out.

I love home gyms.

Score: 11

My new years resolution was to hit the gym more often. But I'm on my fourth car this year now. This is getting kind of expensive and I think the police are suspicious.

Score: 10

What do you call Adolf Hitler's personal gym? The liftwaffe.

Score: 8

Why don't all couples go to the gym? Because some relationships just don't work out

Score: 7

This man at the gym just proposed and she said no Well, that didn't workout

Score: 7

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New Gym Jokes

When COVIDS finally over I can’t wait to open my new gym. Flatten The Curve

Score: 1

Two Guys Are Changing At The Gym One is putting on a pair of lace knickers,

"Since when do you wear womens pants?"

"Since my wife found them in the glove compartment!"

Score: 0

With so many people home from work and school and unable to use the gym... Nobody will be gaining the Freshman 15, but most of us will gain the Covid 19

Score: 1

My girlfriend got so upset at me for quitting gym in a month after paying the $500 annual fee I am glad she aint dating Mike Bloomberg

Score: 0

My girlfriend and I used to go to the gym together... ...but we didn't work out.

Score: 1

Taxi Driver first day in the gym When he gets asked, do you Lyft?

Score: 0

It’s been 2 weeks and 6 months since I joined the gym and still no progress I’m going there in person tomorrow to see what’s really going on

Score: 0

So a guy is in Gym class, he says he want's to go to Hogwarts. So he runs and jumps right into a wall yelling BRAIN DAMAGE!!!

He falls with this nose broken when a girl walks next to him and says the all is plaster.

Score: 0

A man at the gym proposed to his girlfriend. She said no.

I guess it didn’t workout.

Score: 5

Its Been 7 months since I joined the gym and nothing bas changed. Maybe its time I go there personally and find out what's wrong

Score: 3

what was the short guy enthusiastically shouting when they were picking teams in gym class pygmy pygmy

Score: 2

Earlier today, I was at the swimming pool with my gym class. The teacher yelled at me for peeing in the pool, and I replied that everyone pees in the pool "Yeah, but not from the diving board" was his reply!

Score: 3

What is the difference between elementary school and gym? They count more in elementary school.

Score: 2

The only machineI’m confident in using at the gym Is the vending machine

Score: 0

My gym moved to a different floor. It took my fitness routine to a whole new level.

Score: 2

What did the German gym goer say on leg day? Gluten tag

Score: 2

What's worse than getting an erection at the gym and somebody noticing? Getting an erection at the gym and nobody noticing.

Score: 2

Please Give Generously to your High School Gym Program! Be an athletic supporter!

Score: 1

New Years resolution to recycle water I am putting a bucket in each shower and using the collected water in the clothes washer. I really don’t care what everyone else at the gym says.

Score: 5

I'm trying to lose weight so joined the gym and I see the stupidest people there All of them use the treadmill and put their water bottle in the Pringle holder

Score: 2

When i went to ask mom for gym money Me:Mom give me some money for the gym.

Mom:Will you become John Cena after going to gym?

Me:Am I becoming Einstein by going to school?

Score: 5

Everyone was admiring me in the gym while I was working out. I think they liked my new suit and tie.

Score: 5

2016 has been a bad year: my attorney sued me for assault, my health-club canceled my membership for non-payment. On the plus side, my social media presence increased! So 2016: Hit attorney, deleted gym...but Facebook up!

Score: 2

Gym class made me sweat a little bit. I'm salty about it.

Score: 1

What's the only thing working out at the gym? The business plan.

Score: 4

what did the canadian guy say after working out at a gym so much the machines broke? I'm sorey...

Score: 3

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