Walmart Jokes

When checking out at Walmart I always pick the sexiest cashier... I always end up at self checkout.

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Why wont ISIS bomb my local Walmart? ...because its not a Target.

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Funny Walmart Jokes
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Why are there no Walmart stores in Afghanistan? Because there's a target on every corner

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There are no Walmart stores in Syria Only Targets.

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Walmart is giving away dead batteries for the holidays... Free of charge

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Was kicked out of Walmart today. When I walked in I saw a "Wet Floor" sign. So I did.

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I asked my local Walmart where they kept their Terminator DVDs. "Aisle B, back"

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How come there are no Walmart’s in Iraq? Because there’s a Target at every corner!

Edit: A joke from the Bush era I still find funny.

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To the lady with all the screaming kids at Walmart who's wondering how the box of condoms got into her cart... You're welcome

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Why did Walmart go out of business in Iraq? Because there are too many targets.

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Why are there no Walmart's in Afghanistan? Because they are all Target's

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Why is there no Walmart in Afghanistan? Because there is a target on every corner.

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Where should you take your cat, if it somehow loses its tail? Walmart, they're the world's biggest retailer.

Thank you. I'll be here all week.

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My dad gave me a Walmart gift card for my birthday Then he said "Don't spend it in one place."

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Why are there no Walmart’s in Iraq? Because there all targets

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Why did the bishop love Walmart? 'Coz the boys pants are all half off.

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My good deed for the day In the line at Walmart there was a little old lady in front of me, $73 of shopping but her card was declined!
I was feeling generous especially at this time of year and you’ve got to help out so I helped her put it all back.

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Why did the Priest go to Walmart? Because the little boys pants were half off.

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Walmart announced the closing of 175 stores in 2018 Putting 12 cashiers out of work

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What do you do if you accidentally cut off your cat's tail? Take him to WalMart. They are the largest retailer in the world.

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I heard they don't have any Walmart or K-marts in Syria. Only Targets.

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Saw a sketchy looking man outside Walmart begging for money so he could buy the new life size Wonder Woman doll. I swear, these heroine addicts looking worse every year.

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How is Kevin Spacey like Walmart? They both have boys pants half off.

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What do R.Kelly and Walmart have in common? They both have kids pants half off.

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What do Michael Jackson and Walmart have in common? They both have little boys' jeans half off.

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Did you see that Walmart will be closing about 500 stores by the end of the year...? It's going to put about 12 cashiers out of work.

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People need to calm down about Walmart making wearing a mask mandatory. You can still wear your pajamas.

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What does Fetty Wap buy when he goes to Walmart? 7 tees, 30 eggs

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I'm not sure why these shooters are threatening Walmart. There's usually a Target right down the road.

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What do you call an alien in Walmart? A Walmartian

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Someone at Walmart asked if I wanted to donate a dollar to fight hunger But I was already buying pizza rolls!

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Why do thieves like Walmart? It's their best Target

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I've completely lost faith in Walmart. Last time I saw her she was in the clothing department trying on a camouflage dress.

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I tried telling higher value jokes in Walmart but nobody was laughing. I guess it wasn't my Target Audience.

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What’s the difference between the White House and Walmart? There’s less nut cases in Walmart

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