Computer Jokes

Contents

Funniest Computer Jokes

Funny Computer Jokes

The oldest computer... The oldest computer can be traced to Adam and Eve.

Yes, it was an Apple.

But with an extremely limited memory.

Just one byte.

Then everything crashed.

I like my women like i like my computer Turned on
On my lap
Virus free

A guy walks into a library and asks the librarian, "do you have that book for men with small penises?" The librarian looks on her computer and says, "I don't know if it's in yet."

The man replies, "Yeah that's the one."

A man walks into a library and says to the librarian, "do you have that book for men with small penises?" The librarian looks on her computer and says, "I don't know if it's in yet."

"Yeah that's the one"

I give to you a joke I made up when I was seven: Why did the computer crash? Because it had a bad driver!

*drops mic*

The oldest computer can be traced to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple.

But with extremely limited memory - just one byte.

Everything crashed.

The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve. It was an apple but with extremely limited memory. Just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.

I painted my computer black so it would run faster. Now it doesn't work.

Then I painted my computer white so it would work.

Now the whole system is corrupt.

I give to you a joke I made up when I was seven: Why did the computer crash? It had a bad driver!

**bows **

I'll show myself out.

Yeah, I lost to my computer at chess. But it turned out to be no match for me at kickboxing.

A mugger jumps out in front of a university student... ...and shouts "your money or your life!"

The student keeps walking, and says "Sorry mate, I'm a Computer Science student. I don't have either".

What's Adolf Hitler's favourite computer game? Mein Kraft.

Painted my computer black hoping it would run faster... Now it just doesn't work.

My brother wanted to play cowboys and indians So I put on a ten gallon hat and and chaps and he went to MIT and graduated in computer science.

My computer crashed a few hours into writing my paper looks like I'm gonna have to write my name and the date again

Me: I'm so sorry, my dog ate my homework Computer Science Professor: Your dog ate your coding assignment?

**Awkward silence**

Me: It took him a couple bytes

I like my women like I like my computer Turned on
On my lap
And virus free

What does Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashes? Nothing.

A guy walks into a library... A guy walks into a library and asks the librarian, "do you have that book for men with small penises?"
The librarian looks on her computer and says, "I don't know if it's in yet."

The man replies, "Yeah that's the one."

Do not use “beef stew” as a computer password. It is not stroganoff.

My computer has a virus that causes unblockable popups and constantly demands my personal information... ...it's called Norton

There was a computer dating back to Adam and Eve.. It was an apple, and a very bad one at that. It only took one byte for everything to crash.

I ate my mom... Se knocked te computer on te ground so now some of te keys on te keyboard aren't working rigt.

My mom said that if I don't get off the computer and do my homework she'll slam my head into the keyboard, but I think she's jokinfreoiwjr67uiwosi94ckcjfkdald87lakdofasdkfj

A man walks into a library ... A man walks into a library and asks the librarian, "Do you have that new book for men with small penises?"


The librarian looks on her computer and says, "I don't know if it's in yet."

"Yeah that's the one!"

I burned my finger on my computer processor. It MHz.

I painted my computer black... thinking it would run faster



but it just stopped working

What did Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashed? Nothing.

A vegan friend's status said if we had to kill... A vegan friend's status said if we had to kill our own food, we wouldn't eat meat.

I think if he had to build his own computer he'd wouldn't whine on Facebook.

Yesterday my dad told me if he saw me on the computer latenight again... He would smash my head into my keyHDJbdvxhjJDKLXUXBgshdjcmcnGxcNdnckcoNcbcjxndbcjcjkxndJdhhshdbdn

I don't like computer science jokes.. Not one bit

I was speaking to a computer technician. "How do you make a motherboard?" I asked him.

He said, "Tell her about my job."

The oldest computer can be traced to Adam and Eve It was an Apple

With an extremely limited memory.
Just one byte

Then everything crashed

What was Hitler's favourite computer game? Mein Kraft

What's the difference between a computer and an American? An American doesn't have trouble-shooting.

My dad said he'd delete my computer games if I didn't finish mowing the lawn. I did the first half pretty quickly... but now I'm losing Steam.

I painted my computer black last night Now it runs much faster

So I got a virus on my computer And the thing is, I didn't do anything and it just disappeared.

Must have ransomware.

What's the difference between a woman and a computer? A computer doesn't laugh at a 3.5" floppy.

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New Computer Jokes

I told my 14 year old son I thought 'Fortnite' was a stupid name for a computer game. ​

I think it is just too weak.

Me, to my boss: Sorry I’m late. I was having computer issues. Boss: Hard drive?

Me: No, the commute was fine. It’s the computer.

At whom does a Karen yell at if her computer isn't working? The task manager.

Who does a Karen yell at if her computer isn't working? The task manager

The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple, but with extremely limited memory. Just one byte. And then everything crashed.

I was taking a test today for school when the teacher told us that the test would close if we opened a new tab. Thank goodness I opened a new computer up instead.

A tree needed to get off its computer So it decided to log off

An computer inventor starts talking to his friend. “I’ve almost made a human-like robot!” He says.
“You mean it can think?” His friend replies.
“No, but when it fails, it puts the blame on the back of another computer.”

If R-Kelly was a computer file He'd be a .pdf file

My wife said that if I don’t get off my computer and help with the dishes, she’ll slam my head on the keyboard But I think she’s jokinsg72sjxjgcajx$sn8albxu081wuhxbanqkzvvwjalznjxqoidbz107zvvxjakUhevdz75g&86

What does a Karen do if their computer is slow? They ask to see the task manager.

My computer said hello when I turned it on. I figured it must be a Dell

What kind of music do Computer Scientst listen to ? Algorhythm

I played CS:GO in Antarctica My computer kept freezing

What is Santa's favorite computer task? Clearing cookies!

Your annual reminder that computer programmers cannot tell Christmas from Halloween because DEC(25) = OCT(31)

Don't worry about your smartphone or computer spying on you... Your vacuum has been gathering dirt on you for years

Why did the computer go to sleep? It was key-bored!

(An original joke from my 5 year old nephew, a budding comedic genius with impeccable timing!)

How do you scare a computer at Halloween? With a Terror Bite

It's kind of patronising that a computer asks you to prove you're not a robot...

V v

Edit: I guess the ctr key on my computer isn't working

Why do cats like to step on computer keyboards? jfjkl;fdasljki;l nkfskllkteqjpteqjwtjokkkkkkkllllll..

How does a computer learn things? Bit by bit

(Apologies for dad-ness and possible repost)

How to make $$$$$ easily. 1: Sit in front of your computer and turn it on.

2: Open a new word or text document.

3:Hold down the Shift key.

4: Press the "4" key as many times as you wish.

Why do computer soldiers fight For the motherboard

What’s a robots favourite food? Computer chips

She said "You pay more attention to that damned computer than you do to me!" I said, "Well, the computer goes down on me now and then".

Where did the computer hackers go? I don't know, they ransomware.

My computer just crashed I think it’s due to a bad driver.

I found some internet history from my wife on my computer where she'd typed "how to leave husband". It got me really worried. How did she find out the password to my computer?

What computer sings the best? A Dell.

How do you get a computer drunk? A screenshot of Tequila

Help! I made my computer racist! I accidentally pressed alt-right.

The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve. Surprise, it was an apple, but with very little memory. Just one byte.
Then everything crashed.

Working on the computer is like driving a submarine. Once you open windows, the problems begin.

I decided to make my password “incorrect” Because if I type it wrong, my computer will remind me with: “your password is incorrect”.

What do you call a computer that smokes pot? High-tech.

I wanted to be a better computer programmer so I decided to slowly improve my binary skills You could say I improved bit by bit

Why did the computer technician get kicked out of the army? He had troubleshooting.

My daughters have decided to open a computer repair service together! They’re going to call it “2 Girls 1 CPU”

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Long Computer Jokes

11 Minutes

A cop was patrolling late at night in a well-known lover’s spot, famous for all obscene activities. He sees a couple in a car, with the interior light brightly glowing.

The cop carefully approaches the car to get a closer look.
Then he sees a young man behind the wheel, reading a computer magazine. He immediately notices a young woman in the rear seat, knitting. Puzzled by this surprising situation, the cop walks to the car and gently raps on the driver’s window.

The young man lowers his window. “Uh, yes, officer?”

The cop says: “What are you doing?”

The young man says: “Well Officer, I’m reading a magazine.”

Pointing towards the young woman in the back seat the cop says: “And her, what is she doing?”

The young man shrugs: “Sir, I believe she’s knitting a pullover sweater.”

Now, the cop is totally confused.. A young couple, alone, in a car, at night in a Lover’s lane… and nothing obscene is happening!

The cop asks: “What’s your age, young man?”

The young man says “I’m 22, sir.”

The cop asks: “And her…what’s her age?”

The young man looks at his watch and replies:

“She’ll be 18 in 11 minutes.”

I thought my son was spending too much time playing computer games, so I stopped him and said, "Son, when Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the light of the fireplace."

He considered that for a moment before replying, "Yeah, well, when Abe Lincoln was your age, he was The President of the United States."

Why is everyone criticising EA?

I've only ever known EA as an excellent video game company and pioneer of the early home computer games industry. EA has always had my enjoyment as their primary concern and their community involvement is phenomenal.

($50 has been deposited into your Paypal account, remember to delete this part of the message before posting it).

A blonde's office computer had technical issues

IT support came over to the desk and said he needed password to access her account.

"It's 'MickeyMinnieBatmanSupergirlWonderwomanLondon'" she replied.

"A bit unusual for a password, how did you come up with it?" the support dude asked.

She went "Because computer said the password has to be at least 5 characters and have a capital"

My favourite joke: Now Hiring

A dog sees a "Now hiring" poster outside of a computer store. The poster reads:

"Must be able to type. Must be able to program. And must be bilingual. We are an equal opportunity employer."

​

The dog takes the poster in his mouth, and walks in. The manager spots the dog, and decides to humour it, pulling up a chair and a computer with a word processor. "Alright, if you want to work here, you need to first write a letter," and leaves the room.

​

30 minutes later, he comes back in, and the dog has typed out a completely error-free letter.

"Well, I'll be. This is a smart dog. But can he program?" he asks himself.

20 minutes pass, and the dog has made a perfectly running "Hello, world" program.

He looks, shocked, at the dog, and finally speaks. "Look, I know you have the qualifications, but, well... you're a dog."

​

The dog nudges the words "We are an equal opportunity employer." on the poster, and the manager sighs.

"There's no way you're bilingual."

​

The dog looks him in the eyes, and says, "Meow."

Found this on my computer science teacher's webpage

A helicopter with a pilot and a single passenger was flying
around above Seattle when a malfunction disabled all of the
aircraft's navigation and communications equipment.

Due to the darkness and haze, the pilot could not determine the
helicopter's position and course to get back to the airport.

The pilot saw a tall building with lights on and flew toward it,
the pilot had the passenger draw a handwritten sign reading,
"WHERE AM I?", and hold it up for the building's occupants to
see.

People in the building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a
large sign, and held it in a building window.

Their sign said, "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER."

The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the
course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely.

After they were on the ground, the passenger asked the pilot how
the "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER" sign helped determine their
position.

The pilot responded, "I knew that had to be the Microsoft
support building, they gave me a technically correct but
entirely useless answer."

A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game.

The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap. Politely she declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun.
He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vise versa."
Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00." This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.
The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer.
"Okay," says the lawyer," your turn." She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?" The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references. No answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $500.00.
The blonde says, "Thank you," puts her head on the pillow and goes back to sleep.
The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?" Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.

A Blonde and A lawyer.

A lawyer and a blonde are waiting at the airport next to each other. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game of Find the Answer. The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun.

He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vice versa. " Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00." This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.

The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer.

"Okay" says the lawyer, "your turn."

She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"

The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer. He searches on the airport wifi, no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the blonde, and hands her $500.00.

The blonde says, "Thank you," and turns back to get some more sleep.

The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?"

Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.

Three engineers are riding in a car.

One is a mechanical engineer, one is an electrical engineer, and one is a computer engineer.

The car breaks down and coasts to the side of the road.

"Hang on," says the mechanical engineer. "The problem is probably the engine, let me have a look at it and I'll have us on the road again in no time."

"Wait," says the electrical engineer. "The way it just stopped like that, I think it's the electrical system. Let me have a look and I'll get us going again in a minute or two."

"Hold on," says the computer engineer. "Why don't we all just get out of the car and get in again, and then see if it starts?"

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon....

.....As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his
stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.

After a moment or two, the vet
shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles,
has passed away."

The distressed woman wailed,
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied
the vet..

"How can you be so sure?" she
protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or
something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned
around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later
with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on
in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his
front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from
top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and
shook his head.

The vet patted the dog on the
head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he
returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also
delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat
back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and
strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the
woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most
definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and
produced a bill, which he handed to the woman..

The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" she
cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!"

The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it,
the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the
Cat Scan, it's now $150."

A husband and wife who work for the circus go to an adoption agency

looking to adopt a child, but the social workers there raise doubts about their suitability.

So the couple produce photos of their 50-foot motor home, which is clean and well maintained and equipped with a beautiful nursery.

The social workers are satisfied by this but then raise concerns about the kind of education a child would receive while in the couple's care.

The husband puts their mind at ease, saying, "We've arranged for a full-time tutor who will teach the child all the usual subjects along with French, Mandarin, and computer skills."

Next though, the social workers express concern about a child being raised in a circus environment.

This time the wife explains, "Our nanny is a certified expert in pediatric care, welfare, and diet."

The social workers are finally satisfied and ask the couple, "What age child are you hoping to adopt?"

The husband says, "It doesn't really matter, as long as the kid fits in the cannon."

The Widow's Husband.

A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minneapolis and flew to Florida on Thursday, with the wife flying down the following day. The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her e-mail address, and without realizing his error, sent the e-mail.

Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack. The widow decided to check her e-mail since she was expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've Arrived
Date: November 18, 2004

I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send e-mails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

PS. Sure is freaking hot down here.

A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other.

A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY.

The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game?
The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.
The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun.

He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vice versa."

Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00."

This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game. The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"

The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer. "Okay" says the lawyer, "your turn."

She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?" The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the library of congress, no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail.

After an hour, he wakes the blonde, and hands her $500.00. The blonde says, "Thank you," and turns back to get some more sleep. The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?" Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.

A day in the life of an IT guy...

Customer: Hi, my computer isn't working.

IT guy: OK, what happens when you try to turn it on?

Customer: Nothing.

IT guy: Can you check to see if it's plugged into the outlet?

Customer: Uhhhh I dunno it's pretty dark back there...

IT guy: ...Can you turn on a light?

Customer: Nope. The power's out.

A husband and wife who worked for the circus went to an adoption agency. The social workers there raised doubts about their suitability.

The couple then produced photos of their 50-foot motor home,
which was clean and well maintained and equipped with a beautiful nursery.

The social workers then raised concerns about the education
a child would receive while in the couple's care.

"We've arranged for a full-time tutor who will teach the child all the usual subjects along with
French, Mandarin, and computer skills."

Then the social workers expressed concern about a child being raised in a circus environment

Our nanny will be a certified expert in pediatric care, welfare, and diet."

The social workers were finally satisfied.

They asked, "What age child are you hoping to adopt?"

"It doesn't really matter ... as long as the kid fits in the cannon."

A State Trooper was patrolling late at night off the main highway.

At nearly midnight, he sees a couple in a car, in lovers' lane, with the
interior light brightly glowing.  

He carefully approaches the car to get a closer look. Then he sees a young man

behind the wheel, reading a computer magazine. 

He immediately notices a young woman in the rear seat, filing her fingernails. 

Puzzled by this surprising situation, the trooper walks to the car and gently
raps on the driver's window. 

The young man lowers his window. 'Uh, yes, Officer'? 

The trooper asks: 'What are you doing?' 

The young man says: 'Well, Officer, I'm reading a magazine.' 

Pointing towards the young woman in the back seat the trooper says: 'And, her,
what is she doing?' 

The young man shrugs: 'Sir, I believe she's filing her fingernails.' 

Now, the trooper is totally confused. A young couple, alone, in a car, at night
in a lover's lane and nothing obscene is happening! 

The trooper asks: 'What's your age, young man?' 

The young man says: 'I'm 22, sir.' 

The trooper asks: 'And her, what's her age?' 

The young man looks at his watch and replies:' She'll be 18 in 11 minutes.'

A mechanical engineer, electrical engineer, chemical engineer, and computer engineer

One day, a mechanical engineer, electrical engineer, chemical engineer, and computer engineer were driving down the street in the same car when it broke down.

The mechanical engineer said, I think a rod broke.

The chemical engineer said, The way it sputtered at the end, I think it's not getting enough gas.

The electrical engineer said, I think there was a spark and something's wrong with the electrical system.

All three turned to the computer engineer and said, What do you think?

The computer engineer said, I think we should all get out and then get back in.

The inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle, Arthur Davidson, died and went to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur "Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want to in heaven"...

Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, "I want to hang out with God."
St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room, and introduced him to God. God recognized Arthur and commented, "Okay, so you were the one who invented the Harley-Davidson motorcycle?"
Arthur said, "Yeah, that's me..."

God continued "Well, what's the big deal in inventing something that's pretty unstable, makes noise and pollution and can't run without a road?"

Arthur was a bit embarrassed, but finally spoke, "Excuse me, but aren't you the inventor of Woman?"
God said, "Yes, that would be me."
"Well," said Arthur , "Professional to professional, you have some major design flaws in your invention!...

1. There's too much inconsistency in the front-end suspension
2. It chatters constantly at high speeds
3. Most rear ends are too soft and wobble about too much
4. The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust
5. The maintenance costs are outrageous!!!!"

"Hmmmmm, you may have some good points there", replied God, "Hold on."
God went to his Celestial supercomputer, typed in a few words and waited for the results. The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it.
"Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed", God said to Arthur, "But according to these numbers, more men are riding my invention than yours."

Wrong E-Mail Address

A lesson to be learned from typing the wrong email address!

A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter.
They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier.

Because of their hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules together. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day.

The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the e-mail.

Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston , a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a Baptist minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack.

The widow decided to check her e-mail expecting messages from relatives and friends.
After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted.

The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've Arrived
Date: August 14, 2017

I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in.

I've seen that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
Looking forward to seeing you then!
Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

P. S. Sure is hot down here!!!

I thought my son was spending way too much time playing computer games, so I stopped him and said, "Son, when Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the light of the fireplace."

He considered that for a moment before replying, "Yeah, well, when Abe Lincoln was your age, he was The President of the United States."

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