Fire Jokes


Funniest Fire Jokes

Fire is destroying a world famous landmark in Paris right now. And there’s notre dame thing they can do about it.

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Funny Fire Jokes
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In breaking news, Trump's personal library has burned down The fire consumed both books and in a tragic twist he hadn't even finished coloring the second one

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I searched google for "how to start a large fire" 52,000 matches

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Cigarettes are like hamsters Totally harmless, until you stick one in your mouth and set it on fire.

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What do hamsters and cigarettes have in common? They’re both perfectly harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire

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As I'm sure you're all aware, the Notre Dame Cathedral is on fire. They don't know who did it, but they have a hunch.

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Why did Ellen Pao fire an employee with cancer? She felt threatened by someone more malignant than herself

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Why do police officers wear blue? Because the black uniforms led to too much friendly fire.

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If H20 is on the inside of a fire hydrant, what's on the outside? K9P

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Did you know that you can tell how smart an ant is by catching it on fire? If it burns, it's a smart ant.

If it doesn't, it's retardant.

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They say you should test your fire alarm once a month... But it's costing me a fortune in houses!

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The last words my grandma told my grandfather was “Sweetie, I’ll see you in heaven!” Since then, grandpa has been kicking puppies and setting fire to orphanages.

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My boss is going to fire the employee with the worst posture. I have a hunch, it might be me.

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Give a man a fire, he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he is warm for the rest of his life.

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I bought the president of Brazil an Apple TV for the holiday. And all he got me was an Amazon fire.

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Accidentally called 911 Set my house on fire to not look stupid.

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Donald Trump is like a marshmallow... He's easy to roast, a little orange on top, catches fire easily, and will melt down when he gets under too much heat.

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The blacksmith hires an apprentice He instructed the boy, “When I take the shoe out of the fire, I’ll lay it on the anvil. When I nod my head, you hit it with the hammer.”

The apprentice did exactly as he was told, and now he’s the new village blacksmith

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Interviewer : "Just imagine you're in the 20th floor of a building and it's on fire. How will you escape?" "It's simple.. I will just stop my imagination."

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Cigarettes are just like squirrels. They aren't dangerous until you stick one in your mouth and light it on fire.

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I don't understand all the hate for Ajit Pai. He's just doing his job. If he didn't, Verizon would probably fire him.

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I got yelled at in LA today for singing Christmas Carols. I guess they don't wanna hear about how the weather outside is frightful, but the fire is so delightful.

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Build a man a fire and you'll keep him warm for a night set a man on fire and you'll keep him warm for the rest of his life

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My father always told me you gotta fight fire with fire Great guy, horrible firefighter.

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What's one thing you dont want to have while putting out a fire? Verizon Wireless.

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At this time of year, there's nothing I love more than sitting in front of a warm fire, mulled wine in hand, and singing Christmas songs until I slowly fall asleep. And that's why I'm no longer a fireman.

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what do you call 2 mexicans on a fire truck? Jose and Jos-B

this was always my mom's favorite joke, R.I.P. Mom

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What do you call a jacket that's on fire? A blazer.

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How many Avatar characters does it take to change a lightbulb? None. It will change when the fire nation attacks

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TIL the excuse the US Marine used in May 1943 after accidentally friendly fire'ing a British U-boat. Woops, wrong sub.

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Nurse to my dad at the hospital... ... after he was hit by a car on his bike: do you smoke?

Dad, still not sure who the current president is: only when I'm on fire

Nurse: looks to my mom

Mom: no.

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My father always said, you need to fight fire with fire. Great father, terrible fireman.

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Investigators do not yet know what caused the Notre Dame fire.. But Quasimodo has a hunch.

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People are seriously still shooting fire works on July 9?!? One almost caught my Christmas decorations on fire.

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Special needs bus crashes into local pot shop and catches fire. Baked potatoes all over the place.

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What's worse than yelling FIRE in a mexican neighborhood? ICE

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If you give a man a candle he will be warm for a couple hours. If you set a man on fire he will be warm for the rest of his life.

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I had to fire my carpenter Turns out he was a mahoganist.

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When is the only right time to slap an ugly woman? When her mustache is on fire.

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New Fire Jokes

Why does Georgia volunteer to keep the fire going through the night whenever the southern states go camping? Because Georgia stays woke

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Terrible first day as a fire fighter today. Entered a burning room and found this guy unconscious on the floor. Tried to lift him but he was too heavy, so I poured lighter fluid on him.

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For most Americans, 4th of July is a holiday. But not fire.

Fire works July 4th.

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How do you fit 5 donkeys in a fire truck? 2 in the front, 2 in the back and 1 on the top going "hee haw hee haw hee haw"

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A man with a nickname "Hot Fist" going to the burning house, extinguish the fire and save the family stuck inside the house And he is a firefighter.

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What kuusi palaa means in English The spruce is on fire.

The spruce returns.

The number six is on fire.

The number six returns.

Six of them are on fire.

Six of them return.

Your moon returns.

Your moon is on fire.

Six pieces.

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What did the pirates call Clamydia? Fire in the hole

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How does fire tell you its dangerous? By giving you a warming.

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There’s a sure fire way to live up to a hundred. Eat a meatball a day for a hundred years.

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How do you burn calories very quickly? Light a fat kid on fire.

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I met a person who said they would set the world on fire... ​


I don't think the Amazon Rain Forest was a good place to start

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Why did SNL fire their new prop armor maker? He did a podcast saying he hated seeing chinks on TV.

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What happens when you throw a potato in British fire? They burn into a crisp.


A.N: You have probably heard this before. I swear I am not copying anybody.

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Don’t ever yell fire in a crowded movie theatre Or “Gatorade” in a pet shop

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Thought I'd burn some calories today So I set a fat kid on fire

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On the 4th of July, almost everyone has a day off, except for fire. Fire works.

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I put an old Christmas tree in the fire the other night It ended up looking like a menorah while burning

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I was going a tree for fire wood I asked the tree some tough questions as I chopped but it never answered.

It was stumped.

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I've been babysitting for many years, and I have finally learned the secret! The biggest weakness of most children is fire.

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How do you make a stoner scared? Tell them that their joint is on fire.

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We still don’t know who started the fire at Notre Dame, But they have a hunch.

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They're not sure how the Notre Dame fire started, but they have a hunch.

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The investigators didn't know who started the fire at Notre Dame But they had a hunch.

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Nobody knows how the fire in Notre Dame started But Quasimodo has a hunch

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Police are still investigating what caused the Notre Dame Fire But Quasimodo has a hunch

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No one knows how the Notre Dame fire started.. But I think Quasimodo has a hunch

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Authorities don't know the cause of the Notre Dame fire but Quasimoda has a hunch

heard from a friend this am. not mine

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Investigations into the cause of the Notre Dame fire are on going. A spokesman for the fire department said. “We don’t know the exact cause yet, but we have a hunch.”

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I knew the Notre Dame fire was going to happen... I just had this hunch

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There’s all this talk at work about some fire on an 850 year old building And I have Notre Dame clue what is going on!

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As you may know, Notre Dame is currently on fire Police are having trouble working out the cause, but they have a hunch.

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What do you call a black fire fighter? A fire fighter you racist f.

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Police: I’m sorry for the both of you. Police: Your son set the school on fire.

Parents: Arson?

Police: Yes, your son.

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Man1: Hello this is sucide hotline how can i help? Man2: hello yes i have been thinking about sucide and i need motivation

Man1: ok ”ahem” your are a horrible person and i hope you die in a fire

Man2: oooo fire good idea. Thanks for the help

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Why do people use fire during new year Because fireworks

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Tinder is used to make a fire But you first need to find a match

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Mustard and Migos's song Pure Water was so fire, That it became steam.

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I heard ariana grande is preforming in the superbowl halftime on sunday It's going to be fire

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A vape pen recently caused a fire at my office. The email telling people to keep them turned off was titled “Fire ignites Policy Change” They must have been Juul-bulent about that pun

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A blonde girl is in the woods... She realizes she is lost and tries to make a fire. She fails and lies on the ground in defeat, crying.

But then her husband walks outside and tells her to come back inside.

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My uncle always said to fight fire with fire... I guess thats why he's not a fireman anymore.

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I once set a crippled kid on fire... I call it “Hot Wheels”

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A boss is about to fire his engineer after a bridge collapses. But after seeing the engineer weeping, tells him "oh cry me a river, just build a new one and get over it."

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The mailman asked the farmer if he had a horse that smoked sigars Farmer replied no

‘Then your barn is on fire’

Edit: cigars obviously

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A man with two wooden legs had his house lit on fire The firefighters were able to save the house but unfortunately the man was burnt to the ground. He tried to call the insurance company in the morning but...he didn’t have a leg to stand on

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What do rock stars do when their clothes catch fire? They stop, rock and roll

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When did Pinocchio realized that he is made from wood? When his right arm caught on fire...

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Every parent says that they love all their kids equally But if there was a fire, there's one they'd save first.

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Robin Hood is lining up his final shot of the tournament He turns to the official and asks "If I can fire this arrow into my first will it count as a double bullseye?"

The official replies, "yep, Sherwood"

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Why are Boy Scouts safest when travelling with a senior? They'll always have dry wood on hand to start a fire

- this came to me in a dream... maybe it should have stayed there? *shrugs*

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What does the realtor on HGTV say ... ... about the house that caught fire, was flooded and damaged in a tornado, with no roof, a broken foundation and termite infestation?

*It has a lot of potential* ™

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If a one "L" Lama is a priest and a 2 "L" llama is an animal, what is a 3 "L" lama? A fire in Brooklyn

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What do you do when you see a fire man? Put it out man!

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I just got a great deal on some real estate in California. It was a fire sale!

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My laptop got left outside during a storm. I tried turning it on and the screen blew and the keyboard started smoking. That's the first time I've seen the rain set fire to a Dell.

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Favorite stupid jokes, please add yours as well! "Did you hear about the fire at the circus?..... It was in-tents!"

Please add your dumb joke below!

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