If three Florida State football players are in the same car, who is driving? The police officer.
I went to this restaurant on the beach in Florida and ordered something called the Pelican Burger. It was good, but the bill was enormous.
A man in Florida has been caught on CCTV stealing police car tyres. Police are reported to be working tirelessly to catch the thief.
What do a Florida hurricane, a Kansas tornado, and an Arkansas divorce have in common? Some poor sap's gonna lose a trailer.
The state of Florida is a navigational anomaly... The further north you go the more southern it gets.
It's a good thing Gatorade was invented at the University of Florida and not Florida State University. Because then it would be Seminole fluid.
Florida man with coronavirus arrested for coughing on people in public.
Says he was “spreading positivity”
This dude from Florida got mad at me the other day. Apparently people from Tampa aren't called tampons.
I was in Florida recently to visit a good friend...
and saw a bumper sticker on a parked car that read, "I miss Detroit."
So I broke the window, stole the radio, and left a note that read...
"I hope this helps."
It’s a good thing the popular sports drink was invented at Florida instead of Florida State... Because “Gatorade” is a much better name than “Seminole Fluid”.
Can't argue with that Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking ... and one blonde says to the other " Which do you think is further away ... Florida or the moon the other blonde says HELOOOOOOO can you see Florida
In Florida, a couple has been accused of making meth in a public library.
Isn't that crazy? Florida has a library.
-Conan Monologue June 12, 2014
One day, not too far off, Florida will be an entirely Blue state. With the sea level rising, it'll be underwater.
Two blondes talking to each other...
One asks the other, "Which one do you think is closer, Florida or the Moon?"
The other blonde says, "Well duh! You can't see Florida from here."
Florida man contracts herpes while checking his birthday prostitute's mouth for sores As meemum used to say, "you shouldn't look gift whores in the mouth"
I went to Florida yesterday and a cop asked me if I have a criminal record. I said no, Is that still required?
I was bitten by a Great White at a Florida beach. I mean, he used the phrase "Aryan Superior," but either way that was one coked-out skinhead.
Why did Donald Trump win Florida in the Presidential Election? Floridians have seen the positive effect an Orange can have on the economy.
My friend asked, “Aren’t you concerned Florida will be submerged from climate change?” I replied, I thought that’s what we were all trying to do, then we’ll stop.
Children in florida during the hurricanes, They all got free swimming lessons in the comfort of their home.
Everybody knows that Gatorade was first used by the University of Florida's football program, but they weren't the first Florida team to create a hydrating beverage.
But unfortunately no one wanted to buy Seminole Fluid.
Walks into a Bar Walks into a Bar A man walked into a Florida bar with his crocodile and asked the bartender: "Do you serve lawyers here?" "Sure." "Good. One beer for me and a lawyer for my crocodile."
What does the Florida State football team and a Florida State cheerleader have in common? They both suck for four quarters.
What's the difference between a bag of chips and an Ak47? It's easier to get an AK47 in Florida
I was driving down to Florida and got pulled over for speeding halfway through Georgia.
The cop told me and my buddy that nobody goes that fast through his county. My friend leaned over and said, "Sherman did."
(Credit to u/hisownspace for the joke)
How many Florida men do you need before you can make change for a dollar? You can't. Nobody in Florida has any cents.
Florida lawmaker Randall Thompson is forced to resign after it is revealed he spent taxpayer money on expensive footwear for his wife. I guess Randall mishandled his panhandle sandal scandal.
After seeing the wild success of the University of Florida's **Gator**ade, Florida State University also wanted to get in on the sports drink industry.
Weirdly, their **"Seminole Fluid"** was not well received.
Right now Irma is signaling for a left turn.
But it's Florida so, you know, you can't really be sure whats going to happen.
Most people know Gatorade was developed at the University of Florida for its sports program, but they were not the first Florida school to do so.
Unfortunately no one wanted to buy Seminole Fluid.
According to latest news the current Governor of Florida used to own and run his own alligator farm. So not only does he have experience with horrible scaly reptiles he's also worked with alligators too.
Florida man wanted for stealing police tires! Police are working tirelessly to catch and apprehend the person at large...
The Original sports drink. Despite What The University of Florida Claims about Gatorade being the first sports drink Florida State Football had the first energy drink. They have been drinking Seminole Fluid for years.
Florida and the Moon
Two Blondes living in New York are stargazing.
One looks to the other and asks "Which do you think is farther, Florida or the Moon?"
Her friend responds "You can't see Florida from here, duh."
a mexican was kidnapped and taken to one of the florida keys as prisoner, one day he found a phone and was able to contact the authorities, when asked where he was, he said: Akey
2 Blondes siting in a backyard in Florida at night One says to the other What do you think is closer the moon or Texas... the other says the moon so the other asks how do you know and she replies duh can you see Texas
After considering Florida peeps trying to shoot at a hurricane incident... Shocked they're not trying to shoot at the coronavirus...
Gatorade- Named "Gator"-Ade because Florida "Gator" University created it. But what if........ Florida STATE University created it? Would they have named it "Seminole Fluid"?
Since Florida Girl doesn't have the same ring to it, would you then call her... Florida Ma'am?
How can you tell which Florida properties are owned by Donald Trump? Just look for the orange palms.
My family was on vacation in Florida when suddenly I heard someone scream that my mother in law fell into the alligator pool. Not thinking twice, I jumped in... ...to save the alligator.
I'm not making this up...
Two Florida men were arrested after pulling a gun on a McDonald's employee who served them cold burgers
"I don’t play about my food."
The cook was in the back sweating.
Person: what is the worst excuse for killing someone? Psychopath: i don't know go ask anyone in Florida
That's a good one Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking ... and one blonde says to the other " Which do you think is further away ... Florida or the moon the other blonde says HELOOOOOOO can you see Florida
Created a profile on Tinder when I was in California and in my bio had California >< Florida on it. Got a match who said she right swiped because she wanted a parcel delivered from California to Florida . Apparently I have been Fedex zoned .
Florida recently passed a law that... Exotic dancers must cover at least 1/3 of their buttocks. Now, if that were also true for plumbers, we’d be golden.
2 Florida men get into a fight I have no idea what happened, but I'm sure it'll end up on the news.
What do the Florida Panthers and the RMS Titanic have in common? They're both stuck at the bottom of the Atlantic.
A Florida Man... There’s no joke here but I know you clicked it cause it was bound to be crazy
A 32 year old Florida man has died after overdosing on his homeopathic regimen.
He forgot to take his pills.
Credit to the great James Randi
I heard it's so cold in Florida that frozen Iguanas are falling from trees. I'll make sure to bring a coat next time Iguana visit Florida.
The NHL's Florida Panthers have apologized to their fans for using Kevin Spacey in a marketing campaign it's probably for the best. He's a better fit with the Nashville Predators
What's the difference between credit fraud and and a touchdown? Credit fraud is a line the Florida Gators know how to cross
Church in Florida is underwater. With mass underwater they can get volume. Then solve for their density and realize they should have gotten out of Florida.
Ex who lives in Florida
called and asked if she and her kids could come North and stay with me until the hurricane passes.
I said "Well, your dog can."
Did you hear about the Florida teacher who stole the bottlenose dolphin from SeaWorld before Hurricane Matthew? She took it for educational porpoises.
What if Gatorade was invented for Florida State instead of the Gators? Would it be called Seminole Fluid?
It was 90° in Florida yesterday.... Women's skirts were so short you could see their cobwebs.
Uber Ark Driver Needed in Florida Panhandle area Just got a call from a friend on the Florida coast where a lot of rain is falling. He told me an Uber Ark driver position is available.
I don't know why people are upset about the Florida night club incident. I would love to get free shots at my local bar!
I read a story about a Florida man named Arti that was paid a buck to strangle 2 innocent people in a Safeway parking lot... Oddly enough, the headline was "Artichokes 2 for $1 at Safeway"