Thanksgiving Jokes

Contents

Funniest Thanksgiving Jokes

As a Canadian I never realized how slow my internet was until today. I just now started seeing Thanksgiving posts!

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With all the bad luck that the US has seen this year... You'd almost think this country was built on an ancient Indian burial ground.

Happy Thanksgiving!

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Funny Thanksgiving Jokes
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Why was the UN concerned when the waiter dropped Thanksgiving dinner? Because it meant the fall of turkey, the ruin of grease, and the breakup of china.

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We're having a traditional Thanksgiving this year. We're going to invite the neighbors to dinner, murder them, and take their land.

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What do Americans and Putin have in common? They'll both be nuking Turkey after Thanksgiving.

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What does Miley Cyrus serve on Thanksgiving? Twerky.

Compliments of my 6 year old son.

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I feel bad for eating all the Thanksgiving leftovers that were in the fridge... but it's hard to quit cold turkey.

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Happy Thanksgiving Guys! I hope Internet Explorer sends this in time.

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It seems like every year I wind up eating leftovers from Thanksgiving until weeks afterwards. Not this year though, I'm quitting cold turkey.

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I used to be addicted to Thanksgiving leftovers But then I quit cold turkey

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Since it's so close to Thanksgiving, remember this Give a man some corn, he eats for a day. Teach a man to grow corn, he kills you and steals your land!

Happy Thanksgiving from your friendly, neighborhood Native American!

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What are the Russians eating for thanksgiving? Beef with turkey

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It's Thanksgiving, who doesn't like Turkey? Russia

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If you login to Amazon and other retailers websites for Thanksgiving sale, you may save up to 70%........


But if you don't login, you'll save 100%

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Why don't the Greeks, Slavs, and Armenians celebrate Thanksgiving? Because they don't like Turkey

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Thanksgiving joke What does Miley Cyrus eat for Thanksgiving?

Twerky!

Just kidding...

Drugs. She eats drugs.



-Adam Zopf ‏@adamzopf

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I don't understand why the Lions and Vikings get to play on thanksgiving. Shouldn’t the Patriots play the Redskins, and then steal their stadium?

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A twist on a Thanksgiving classic . . . Written by my twelve-year-old brother:

Q: April showers bring May flowers. What do May flowers bring?
A: Separatists and small pox.

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So this guy checks into rehab the day after Thanksgiving. He couldn't quit cold turkey.

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Tasty Tattoo My girl just got a tattoo of a turkey on one thigh and Santa Claus on the other.

She wants to show that there *is* something good to eat in between
Thanksgiving and Christmas.

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I couldn't bring myself to shoot my own turkey for thanksgiving ... So I dressed one up in baggy sweat pants and gave it a bag of skittles and a cop shot it for me

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If you want to break your addiction to Thanksgiving leftovers... you need to quit cold turkey.

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I think my favorite Thanksgiving food is pie But some people say that's irrational...

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A Chinese family's dog ran away one night ...Thanksgiving was ruined.

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After eating Thanksgiving at my house, my friends are always asking me how I prepare the turkey... ...easy, I tell the bird he is going to die.

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I've decided to avoid Turkey this Thanksgiving... Way too close to Syria.

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What did the circus owner say to the human-cannonball when the he wanted to retire? How will I ever find another performer of your caliber? (Source: a dad on thanksgiving)

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My family told me to stop eating the leftover Thanksgiving food from the fridge. But sadly, I couldn't quit cold turkey.

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One my 5 yr old told me: why didn’t my teddy bear get invited to thanksgiving? He ‘s already stuffed!

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What's the difference between a Thanksgiving turkey and an EA game? The turkey is stuffed with content and you only have to pay for it once.

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I didn't think housework is a full-time job, so for Thanksgiving my wife served me a raw turkey. Revenge is a dish best served cold.

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What do America and Russia have in common? They both want to kill turkey this thanksgiving

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It seems like every year I wind up eating leftovers from Thanksgiving until weeks afterward. Not this year though, I'm quitting cold turkey.

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The cowboys play the redskins this year in thanksgiving day. Just like the first thanksgiving.

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Thanksgiving is here, and I love trigonometry sorry, I went off on a tangent.

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Hey guys it’s no nut November... Which sucks cuz thanksgiving is the only time I see my cousins.

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What ethnic group do cannibals eat on thanksgiving? Turkish

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We should start a middle eastern war over Thanksgiving. That way we can slaughter a Turkey twice.

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I'm no longer going to eat Thanksgiving leftovers. I'm trying to quit cold turkey

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New Thanksgiving Jokes

Why did this year's Thanksgiving stuffing taste different from last year's? The chef didn't have enough thyme

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Y'all have heard of Joe's Pizzaria and Abortion Clinic where yesterday's loss is today's sauce Now get ready for Joe's Thanksgiving And Abortion Store
Where yesterday's baby is today's gravy

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What do you call the separate table at Thanksgiving covered with pies, cakes, and cookies? Desserted Island

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My father has a serious problem with Thanksgiving leftovers, he won't stop till they're gone So he quit cold turkey

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What did the old war veteran say at Thanksgiving dinner? "'Nam 'nam 'nam 'nam."

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Shouldve posted this on Thanksgiving...What do you call a homeless turkey? Gobless!

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What do people black people eat on Black Friday? Whatever they couldn't finish on Thanksgiving Thursday you racist

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After Thanksgiving dinner, I told my wife she should be on a cooking show. Now I'm sleeping on the couch. Worst Cooks in America has decent ratings. Why is she complaining?

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When political debate comes up this Thanksgiving break and you find someone at the other end of spectrum just say one thing. WRONG. WRONG. WRONG.

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Why didn't the teddy bear have any thanksgiving dessert? He was already too stuffed

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