Hilarious Plant Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Plant Jokes

What do you call an adequate manufacturing plant? A satisfactory

Score: 257

What do you call it when two flowers have a child? Plant parenthood.

Score: 245

What do you call a guy with a plant fetish? A Weed Whacker.

Score: 237

Why did the tree install solar panels? It wanted to be a power plant.

Score: 217

What did the oil refinery plant say to the offshore drilling platform? Send crudes.

Score: 106

My grandma was known all over town for her delicious strawberries. She made me promise that when she died I would plant strawberries over her grave so that everyone could visit her and enjoy them. I fulfilled her wish. She’s dead and berried.

Score: 91

What kind of plant is the scariest? bamBOO

Score: 80

What do you call a plant that changed genders? A transplant

Score: 67

I like to plant my herbs in alphabetical order. People ask me 'Where do you find the time?'
I say 'It's right there next to the sage'

Score: 44

How do you call a flower on steroids? A power plant.

Score: 42

What plant will kill you in 5 min or less if you just stand under it Water lily

Score: 42

Onions My friend told me that onions are the only edible plant that can make you cry.

I bludgeoned his head with a watermelon.

Score: 41

I walked into the nuclear plant operators office... I walked into the nuclear plant operators office and asked him what to do with the barrels of radioactive waste.

"Bury 'em" he snarled at me,

"No sir, it's actually uranium"

Score: 36

What grows when you plant a pumpkin spice latte and water it with vodka? A sorority.

Score: 35

What happens when a plant is sad? The other plants have to photosympathize with it

Score: 34

How do you get a plant drunk? Give it root beer

Score: 34

Biology Joke When a plant is sad, what do other plants do?

Photosympathize

Score: 32

How can you tell when a plant is scared? It soiled itself.

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What plant attacks people? An Ambush ;)

Score: 24

From what I've read, people were a lot more serious about invasive plant species 30 or 40 years ago. A lot of people were writing about stopping the spread of the Soviet onion.

Score: 24

A plant fell on my head... I'm alright though, it was no big dill.

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Why couldn't the plant escape the jail? Because his cell had walls.

Score: 22

I hated my job at the recycling plant, I was in charge of crushing aluminum cans It was soda pressing

Score: 22

What do you call a drunk plant? Chloroplastered

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What do you call a flower that is also a spy? A plant

Score: 20

The most heinous crime--against both Man and Nature--would be to plant dynamite inside cattle That, my friends, would be a-bomb-in-a-bull...

Score: 18

Q: What happened to the plant in math class? A: It grew square roots.

Score: 17

What do you call a flower on steroids? a power plant

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What's the noisiest plant? Bam!
Boo!

Score: 16

Which plant is the spookiest? BamBOO!

Score: 16

Who has a higher recycling rate than a recycling plant? r/Jokes

Score: 11

How does a plant say sorry? They aPOLLENgize!

Score: 11

Did you hear about the guy who had his bamboo plant stolen? He was bamboozled

Score: 11

Why should you never teach a plant math? Because it'll grow square roots

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/r/Jokes is like a recycling plant I would tell you the rest but you probably heard it already.

Score: 10

What did the plant say to the sprinkler? Stop spraying water everywhere, you're really starting to irrigate me!!

Score: 10

Me and my friend robbed a chemical plant last night. We stole all their Alkaline.
Now all their base are belong to us.

Score: 10

Weed ain't a drug, its a plant. Therefore I'm not a drug dealer, I'm a florist

Score: 10

My wife bought a new plant for for the house. I didn't like it at first... ...but it's starting to grow on me.

Score: 6

Mr. Trump told his servant to water the plant outside the house The servant said, "But sir, it's raining outside"

Mr. Trump replied, "Can't you use the umbrella?"

Score: 5

New Plant Jokes

Don’t get to close to a bee power plant Or you might get aviation poisoning

Score: 0

Whats the uk's favriot part of the plant the leaves

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A plant asked an Animal: Hey, what do you think of the new kingdom? The Animal said: I don't know but he seems like a really fungi.

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What do you call a cute plant? An Aww-totroph.

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My supervisor at the nuclear plant is really lazy. I just found out one of the reactors was malfunctioning and asked him what we were going to do about it.

His answer was "Well that sounds like a U problem".

Score: 2

what do you call a plant that eats your dust a succulent

Score: 1

An enormous perennial plant just swore at me because I said its existence was unnecessary. There's no need for that sort of biggertree.

Score: 2

The police nearby are trying to frame me for growing marijuana in my backyard. I'm getting worried they're going to plant some evidence.

Score: 3

What do you call the power plant of a cell that always thinks it's sick? A mitochondriac

Score: 1

Starbucks has started serving a new burger… Starbucks has started serving a new burger that is half beef and half plant-based.

They call it half calf.

Score: 1

What’s the similarity between a yoga instructor, a plant, and a tank? They all made it into the rosters of crossover fighting games.

Score: 2

A 92-year old woman was found dead at a McDonald’s processing plant. Police have identified the woman as, Patty.

Score: 1

Why do scuba divers dive backwards of boats? Because if they dove forward they would face plant on the boat.

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What does a plant say to every one it hates? Vac-uole

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Which plant is extremely deadly if you stand beneath it for five minutes? The water lily

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Where does a tree go to get an abortion? Plant Parenthood

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What kind of pictures do u get when ur plant's sister eats the camera Photos in the sis

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The plant went home one night without groceries It was because it never botany.

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Where do bees go to learn about pollinating tulips? PLANT PARENTHOOD

Score: 5

What do you call a boy tree that wants to be a girl tree? A Trans Plant

Score: 5

There was one feminist engineer in the nuclear plant ... Kept asking about the status of the reactress ...

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What did the nuclear plant worker do on his holiday? He went fission.

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What do you call a phallic, prickly plant in the desert? A Cocktus.

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which is the scariest plant? The BAM-BOO!

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Sen. Franklin R. Lee of Idaho was instrumental in obtaining a 100-megawatt hydroelectric plant... .. on the Givva River for the benefit of his hometown, Medea. When the plant was finished, the dedication plaque read:

> Frank Lee, Medea, Idaho, Givva Dam

Score: 3

What do you call a plant with an STD? Poison H-Ivy

Score: 1

What's the most math-based plant? Algae, brah.

Score: 1

My girlfriend's bought me a birthday present was very strange. It's a vest made purely of living plant fiber that literally need to be watered regularly. And I gotta tell ya, it's really starting to grow on me.

Score: 1

What happens when a plant tries to take over its own forest? It comits *tree*son.

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What do you call a plant that organised a terrorist attack? A bush.

Score: 1

You can't plant flowers... If you haven't botany.

Score: 4

An 'Elephant's Ear' is a plant with big glossy leaves Oh, wait, this is /r/jokes, sorry.

I guess that's ear-elephant.

Score: 2

Why did the Piranha Plant start coughing? Because Mario went down the wrong pipe!

Score: 5

What did Mary tell the little lamb when it asked what this green plant was? "Marijuana, Little Lamb."

Score: 3

I just got an all-organic carbon capture plant for my house. I just call it "a plant" for short.

Score: 3

What is a math teachers favorite plant? A geometree!!

Score: 2

What do you call a plant with an STD? Poison H.I.V

Score: 1

I bought bird seed today. Can anyone tell me how long it takes for the birds to grow once I plant them?

Score: 4

What do plant companies do with their underperforming employees? Water them

Score: 2

If a plant is sad, do the other plants... photosympathize with it?

Score: 3

Did you hear that Donald Trump is technically a plant? Because all of his cells have built a wall.

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I've never understood giving flowers to someone on Valentine's Day. "Here's a dying plant... because i love you?"

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What word is used to describe a plant's range of emotions? Chlorofeels

Score: 4

I know a place where the recycling rate is 99% The recycling plant.

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Why did the plant say after being watered? "I'm not hungry exactly, but I could still use a light snack".

Score: 3

I asked my tomato plant why it needed so much support He said cause I'm a growing boy!

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I recently got a job at the recycling plant But it's soda pressing.

Score: 3

I had an interview at a solar power plant today... And they asked me how well I understood theoretical physics. I told them, I have a theoretical degree in physics. They said welcome aboard.

Sorry, hype is an overwhelming thing.

Score: 1

What do you call a gender confused cactus that relocates to another country? A trans plant.

Score: 1