Plant Jokes

Contents

Funniest Plant Jokes

What do you call an adequate manufacturing plant? A satisfactory

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Funny Plant Jokes
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What do you call a guy with a plant fetish? A Weed Whacker.

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Why did the tree install solar panels? It wanted to be a power plant.

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What did the oil refinery plant say to the offshore drilling platform? Send crudes.

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My grandma was known all over town for her delicious strawberries. She made me promise that when she died I would plant strawberries over her grave so that everyone could visit her and enjoy them. I fulfilled her wish. She’s dead and berried.

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What kind of plant is the scariest? bamBOO

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What do you call a plant that changed genders? A transplant

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I like to plant my herbs in alphabetical order. People ask me 'Where do you find the time?'
I say 'It's right there next to the sage'

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How do you call a flower on steroids? A power plant.

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What plant will kill you in 5 min or less if you just stand under it Water lily

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Onions My friend told me that onions are the only edible plant that can make you cry.

I bludgeoned his head with a watermelon.

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I walked into the nuclear plant operators office... I walked into the nuclear plant operators office and asked him what to do with the barrels of radioactive waste.

"Bury 'em" he snarled at me,

"No sir, it's actually uranium"

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What grows when you plant a pumpkin spice latte and water it with vodka? A sorority.

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What happens when a plant is sad? The other plants have to photosympathize with it

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How do you get a plant drunk? Give it root beer

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Biology Joke When a plant is sad, what do other plants do?

Photosympathize

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How can you tell when a plant is scared? It soiled itself.

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What plant attacks people? An Ambush ;)

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From what I've read, people were a lot more serious about invasive plant species 30 or 40 years ago. A lot of people were writing about stopping the spread of the Soviet onion.

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A plant fell on my head... I'm alright though, it was no big dill.

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Why couldn't the plant escape the jail? Because his cell had walls.

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I hated my job at the recycling plant, I was in charge of crushing aluminum cans It was soda pressing

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What do you call a drunk plant? Chloroplastered

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What do you call a flower that is also a spy? A plant

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The most heinous crime--against both Man and Nature--would be to plant dynamite inside cattle That, my friends, would be a-bomb-in-a-bull...

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Q: What happened to the plant in math class? A: It grew square roots.

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What do you call a flower on steroids? a power plant

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What's the noisiest plant? Bam!
Boo!

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Which plant is the spookiest? BamBOO!

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Working at the aluminum recycling plant is the saddest job I've ever had... ... It's just soda pressing.

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Why did the French plant trees on either side of the road? So the Germans could march in the shade.

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Which plant is extremely deadly if you stand beneath it for five minutes? The water lily

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What's the name of a common garden plant, that if sat under for more than 5 minutes, would cause almost guaranteed death? A Water Lilly.

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What did Mary tell the little lamb when it asked what this green plant was? "Marijuana, Little Lamb."

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The police nearby are trying to frame me for growing marijuana in my backyard. I'm getting worried they're going to plant some evidence.

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What do you call a flower that changes it's gender? ...A trans-plant

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Where does a tree go to get an abortion? Plant Parenthood

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What does a plant say to every one it hates? Vac-uole

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What’s the similarity between a yoga instructor, a plant, and a tank? They all made it into the rosters of crossover fighting games.

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New Plant Jokes

Why was the beach next to the power plant closed? Because it is spark infested waters.

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Don’t get to close to a bee power plant Or you might get aviation poisoning

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Why did the Nuclear Power Plant have an aquarium built next to it? To put all its nuclear fission.

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Whats the uk's favriot part of the plant the leaves

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In the wake of Australia’s forest fires, I decided to man-up and plant a fruit tree. It was time for me to grow a pear.

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A plant asked an Animal: Hey, what do you think of the new kingdom? The Animal said: I don't know but he seems like a really fungi.

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What do you call a cute plant? An Aww-totroph.

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My supervisor at the nuclear plant is really lazy. I just found out one of the reactors was malfunctioning and asked him what we were going to do about it.

His answer was "Well that sounds like a U problem".

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what do you call a plant that eats your dust a succulent

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An enormous perennial plant just swore at me because I said its existence was unnecessary. There's no need for that sort of biggertree.

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What do you call the power plant of a cell that always thinks it's sick? A mitochondriac

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Starbucks has started serving a new burger… Starbucks has started serving a new burger that is half beef and half plant-based.

They call it half calf.

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A 92-year old woman was found dead at a McDonald’s processing plant. Police have identified the woman as, Patty.

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Why do scuba divers dive backwards of boats? Because if they dove forward they would face plant on the boat.

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What does a plant cell typically consist of? Three concrete walls with no windows and some sturdy iron bars.

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A short man worked in a bagging plant for a chip company His name was Frito Baggin.

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