Contents
Funniest Jokes
New Jokes
Funniest Plant Jokes
What do you call an adequate manufacturing plant? A satisfactory
What do you call a guy with a plant fetish? A Weed Whacker.
Why did the tree install solar panels? It wanted to be a power plant.
What did the oil refinery plant say to the offshore drilling platform? Send crudes.
My grandma was known all over town for her delicious strawberries. She made me promise that when she died I would plant strawberries over her grave so that everyone could visit her and enjoy them. I fulfilled her wish. She’s dead and berried.
What kind of plant is the scariest? bamBOO
What do you call a plant that changed genders? A transplant
I like to plant my herbs in alphabetical order.
People ask me 'Where do you find the time?'
I say 'It's right there next to the sage'
How do you call a flower on steroids? A power plant.
What plant will kill you in 5 min or less if you just stand under it Water lily
Onions
My friend told me that onions are the only edible plant that can make you cry.
I bludgeoned his head with a watermelon.
I walked into the nuclear plant operators office...
I walked into the nuclear plant operators office and asked him what to do with the barrels of radioactive waste.
"Bury 'em" he snarled at me,
"No sir, it's actually uranium"
What grows when you plant a pumpkin spice latte and water it with vodka? A sorority.
What happens when a plant is sad? The other plants have to photosympathize with it
How do you get a plant drunk? Give it root beer
Biology Joke
When a plant is sad, what do other plants do?
Photosympathize
How can you tell when a plant is scared? It soiled itself.
What plant attacks people? An Ambush ;)
From what I've read, people were a lot more serious about invasive plant species 30 or 40 years ago. A lot of people were writing about stopping the spread of the Soviet onion.
A plant fell on my head... I'm alright though, it was no big dill.
Why couldn't the plant escape the jail? Because his cell had walls.
I hated my job at the recycling plant, I was in charge of crushing aluminum cans It was soda pressing
What do you call a drunk plant? Chloroplastered
What do you call a flower that is also a spy? A plant
The most heinous crime--against both Man and Nature--would be to plant dynamite inside cattle That, my friends, would be a-bomb-in-a-bull...
Q: What happened to the plant in math class? A: It grew square roots.
What do you call a flower on steroids? a power plant
What's the noisiest plant?
Bam!
Boo!
Which plant is the spookiest? BamBOO!
Who has a higher recycling rate than a recycling plant? r/Jokes
/r/Jokes is like a recycling plant I would tell you the rest but you probably heard it already.
Which plant is extremely deadly if you stand beneath it for five minutes? The water lily
The police nearby are trying to frame me for growing marijuana in my backyard. I'm getting worried they're going to plant some evidence.
Where does a tree go to get an abortion? Plant Parenthood
What does a plant say to every one it hates? Vac-uole
What’s the similarity between a yoga instructor, a plant, and a tank? They all made it into the rosters of crossover fighting games.
An enormous perennial plant just swore at me because I said its existence was unnecessary. There's no need for that sort of biggertree.
My supervisor at the nuclear plant is really lazy.
I just found out one of the reactors was malfunctioning and asked him what we were going to do about it.
His answer was "Well that sounds like a U problem".
The plant went home one night without groceries It was because it never botany.