Hilarious Plant Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Plant Jokes

What do you call an adequate manufacturing plant? A satisfactory

Score: 257

Score: 245

What do you call a guy with a plant fetish? A Weed Whacker.

Score: 237

Why did the tree install solar panels? It wanted to be a power plant.

Score: 217

What did the oil refinery plant say to the offshore drilling platform? Send crudes.

Score: 106

My grandma was known all over town for her delicious strawberries. She made me promise that when she died I would plant strawberries over her grave so that everyone could visit her and enjoy them. I fulfilled her wish. She’s dead and berried.

Score: 91

What kind of plant is the scariest? bamBOO

Score: 80

What do you call a plant that changed genders? A transplant

Score: 67

I like to plant my herbs in alphabetical order. People ask me 'Where do you find the time?'
I say 'It's right there next to the sage'

Score: 44

How do you call a flower on steroids? A power plant.

Score: 42

What plant will kill you in 5 min or less if you just stand under it Water lily

Score: 42

Onions My friend told me that onions are the only edible plant that can make you cry.

I bludgeoned his head with a watermelon.

Score: 41

I walked into the nuclear plant operators office... I walked into the nuclear plant operators office and asked him what to do with the barrels of radioactive waste.

"Bury 'em" he snarled at me,

"No sir, it's actually uranium"

Score: 36

What grows when you plant a pumpkin spice latte and water it with vodka? A sorority.

Score: 35

What happens when a plant is sad? The other plants have to photosympathize with it

Score: 34

How do you get a plant drunk? Give it root beer

Score: 34

Biology Joke When a plant is sad, what do other plants do?

Photosympathize

Score: 32

How can you tell when a plant is scared? It soiled itself.

Score: 27

What plant attacks people? An Ambush ;)

Score: 24

From what I've read, people were a lot more serious about invasive plant species 30 or 40 years ago. A lot of people were writing about stopping the spread of the Soviet onion.

Score: 24

A plant fell on my head... I'm alright though, it was no big dill.

Score: 23

Why couldn't the plant escape the jail? Because his cell had walls.

Score: 22

I hated my job at the recycling plant, I was in charge of crushing aluminum cans It was soda pressing

Score: 22

What do you call a drunk plant? Chloroplastered

Score: 21

What do you call a flower that is also a spy? A plant

Score: 20

The most heinous crime--against both Man and Nature--would be to plant dynamite inside cattle That, my friends, would be a-bomb-in-a-bull...

Score: 18

Q: What happened to the plant in math class? A: It grew square roots.

Score: 17

What do you call a flower on steroids? a power plant

Score: 17

What's the noisiest plant? Bam!
Boo!

Score: 16

Which plant is the spookiest? BamBOO!

Score: 16

Working at the aluminum recycling plant is the saddest job I've ever had... ... It's just soda pressing.

Score: 5

Why did the French plant trees on either side of the road? So the Germans could march in the shade.

Score: 5

Which plant is extremely deadly if you stand beneath it for five minutes? The water lily

Score: 4

What's the name of a common garden plant, that if sat under for more than 5 minutes, would cause almost guaranteed death? A Water Lilly.

Score: 4

What did Mary tell the little lamb when it asked what this green plant was? "Marijuana, Little Lamb."

Score: 3

The police nearby are trying to frame me for growing marijuana in my backyard. I'm getting worried they're going to plant some evidence.

Score: 3

What do you call a flower that changes it's gender? ...A trans-plant

Score: 2

Where does a tree go to get an abortion? Plant Parenthood

Score: 2

What does a plant say to every one it hates? Vac-uole

Score: 2

What’s the similarity between a yoga instructor, a plant, and a tank? They all made it into the rosters of crossover fighting games.

Score: 2

New Plant Jokes

Why was the beach next to the power plant closed? Because it is spark infested waters.

Score: 0

Don’t get to close to a bee power plant Or you might get aviation poisoning

Score: 0

Why did the Nuclear Power Plant have an aquarium built next to it? To put all its nuclear fission.

Score: 0

Whats the uk's favriot part of the plant the leaves

Score: 0

In the wake of Australia’s forest fires, I decided to man-up and plant a fruit tree. It was time for me to grow a pear.

Score: 0

A plant asked an Animal: Hey, what do you think of the new kingdom? The Animal said: I don't know but he seems like a really fungi.

Score: 0

What do you call a cute plant? An Aww-totroph.

Score: 0

My supervisor at the nuclear plant is really lazy. I just found out one of the reactors was malfunctioning and asked him what we were going to do about it.

His answer was "Well that sounds like a U problem".

Score: 2

what do you call a plant that eats your dust a succulent

Score: 1

An enormous perennial plant just swore at me because I said its existence was unnecessary. There's no need for that sort of biggertree.

Score: 2

What do you call the power plant of a cell that always thinks it's sick? A mitochondriac

Score: 1

Starbucks has started serving a new burger… Starbucks has started serving a new burger that is half beef and half plant-based.

They call it half calf.

Score: 1

A 92-year old woman was found dead at a McDonald’s processing plant. Police have identified the woman as, Patty.

Score: 1

Why do scuba divers dive backwards of boats? Because if they dove forward they would face plant on the boat.

Score: 1

What does a plant cell typically consist of? Three concrete walls with no windows and some sturdy iron bars.

Score: 1

A short man worked in a bagging plant for a chip company His name was Frito Baggin.

Score: 2