Hilarious Plant Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Plant Jokes

What do you call an adequate manufacturing plant? A satisfactory

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What do you call a guy with a plant fetish? A Weed Whacker.

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Why did the tree install solar panels? It wanted to be a power plant.

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What did the oil refinery plant say to the offshore drilling platform? Send crudes.

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My grandma was known all over town for her delicious strawberries. She made me promise that when she died I would plant strawberries over her grave so that everyone could visit her and enjoy them. I fulfilled her wish. She’s dead and berried.

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What kind of plant is the scariest? bamBOO

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What do you call a plant that changed genders? A transplant

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I like to plant my herbs in alphabetical order. People ask me 'Where do you find the time?'
I say 'It's right there next to the sage'

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How do you call a flower on steroids? A power plant.

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What plant will kill you in 5 min or less if you just stand under it Water lily

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Onions My friend told me that onions are the only edible plant that can make you cry.

I bludgeoned his head with a watermelon.

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I walked into the nuclear plant operators office... I walked into the nuclear plant operators office and asked him what to do with the barrels of radioactive waste.

"Bury 'em" he snarled at me,

"No sir, it's actually uranium"

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What grows when you plant a pumpkin spice latte and water it with vodka? A sorority.

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What happens when a plant is sad? The other plants have to photosympathize with it

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How do you get a plant drunk? Give it root beer

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Biology Joke When a plant is sad, what do other plants do?

Photosympathize

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How can you tell when a plant is scared? It soiled itself.

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What plant attacks people? An Ambush ;)

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From what I've read, people were a lot more serious about invasive plant species 30 or 40 years ago. A lot of people were writing about stopping the spread of the Soviet onion.

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A plant fell on my head... I'm alright though, it was no big dill.

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Why couldn't the plant escape the jail? Because his cell had walls.

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I hated my job at the recycling plant, I was in charge of crushing aluminum cans It was soda pressing

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What do you call a drunk plant? Chloroplastered

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What do you call a flower that is also a spy? A plant

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The most heinous crime--against both Man and Nature--would be to plant dynamite inside cattle That, my friends, would be a-bomb-in-a-bull...

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Q: What happened to the plant in math class? A: It grew square roots.

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What do you call a flower on steroids? a power plant

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What's the noisiest plant? Bam!
Boo!

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Which plant is the spookiest? BamBOO!

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Who has a higher recycling rate than a recycling plant? r/Jokes

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How does a plant say sorry? They aPOLLENgize!

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Did you hear about the guy who had his bamboo plant stolen? He was bamboozled

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Why should you never teach a plant math? Because it'll grow square roots

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/r/Jokes is like a recycling plant I would tell you the rest but you probably heard it already.

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What did the plant say to the sprinkler? Stop spraying water everywhere, you're really starting to irrigate me!!

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Me and my friend robbed a chemical plant last night. We stole all their Alkaline.
Now all their base are belong to us.

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Weed ain't a drug, its a plant. Therefore I'm not a drug dealer, I'm a florist

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My wife bought a new plant for for the house. I didn't like it at first... ...but it's starting to grow on me.

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Mr. Trump told his servant to water the plant outside the house The servant said, "But sir, it's raining outside"

Mr. Trump replied, "Can't you use the umbrella?"

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New Plant Jokes

Don’t get to close to a bee power plant Or you might get aviation poisoning

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Whats the uk's favriot part of the plant the leaves

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A plant asked an Animal: Hey, what do you think of the new kingdom? The Animal said: I don't know but he seems like a really fungi.

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What do you call a cute plant? An Aww-totroph.

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My supervisor at the nuclear plant is really lazy. I just found out one of the reactors was malfunctioning and asked him what we were going to do about it.

His answer was "Well that sounds like a U problem".

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what do you call a plant that eats your dust a succulent

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An enormous perennial plant just swore at me because I said its existence was unnecessary. There's no need for that sort of biggertree.

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The police nearby are trying to frame me for growing marijuana in my backyard. I'm getting worried they're going to plant some evidence.

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What do you call the power plant of a cell that always thinks it's sick? A mitochondriac

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Starbucks has started serving a new burger… Starbucks has started serving a new burger that is half beef and half plant-based.

They call it half calf.

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What’s the similarity between a yoga instructor, a plant, and a tank? They all made it into the rosters of crossover fighting games.

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A 92-year old woman was found dead at a McDonald’s processing plant. Police have identified the woman as, Patty.

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Why do scuba divers dive backwards of boats? Because if they dove forward they would face plant on the boat.

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What does a plant say to every one it hates? Vac-uole

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Which plant is extremely deadly if you stand beneath it for five minutes? The water lily

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Where does a tree go to get an abortion? Plant Parenthood

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What kind of pictures do u get when ur plant's sister eats the camera Photos in the sis

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The plant went home one night without groceries It was because it never botany.

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Where do bees go to learn about pollinating tulips? PLANT PARENTHOOD

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What do you call a boy tree that wants to be a girl tree? A Trans Plant

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There was one feminist engineer in the nuclear plant ... Kept asking about the status of the reactress ...

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What did the nuclear plant worker do on his holiday? He went fission.

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What do you call a phallic, prickly plant in the desert? A Cocktus.

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which is the scariest plant? The BAM-BOO!

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Sen. Franklin R. Lee of Idaho was instrumental in obtaining a 100-megawatt hydroelectric plant... .. on the Givva River for the benefit of his hometown, Medea. When the plant was finished, the dedication plaque read:

> Frank Lee, Medea, Idaho, Givva Dam

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What do you call a plant with an STD? Poison H-Ivy

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What's the most math-based plant? Algae, brah.

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My girlfriend's bought me a birthday present was very strange. It's a vest made purely of living plant fiber that literally need to be watered regularly. And I gotta tell ya, it's really starting to grow on me.

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What happens when a plant tries to take over its own forest? It comits *tree*son.

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What do you call a plant that organised a terrorist attack? A bush.

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You can't plant flowers... If you haven't botany.

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An 'Elephant's Ear' is a plant with big glossy leaves Oh, wait, this is /r/jokes, sorry.

I guess that's ear-elephant.

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Why did the Piranha Plant start coughing? Because Mario went down the wrong pipe!

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What did Mary tell the little lamb when it asked what this green plant was? "Marijuana, Little Lamb."

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I just got an all-organic carbon capture plant for my house. I just call it "a plant" for short.

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What is a math teachers favorite plant? A geometree!!

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What do you call a plant with an STD? Poison H.I.V

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I bought bird seed today. Can anyone tell me how long it takes for the birds to grow once I plant them?

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What do plant companies do with their underperforming employees? Water them

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If a plant is sad, do the other plants... photosympathize with it?

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Did you hear that Donald Trump is technically a plant? Because all of his cells have built a wall.

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I've never understood giving flowers to someone on Valentine's Day. "Here's a dying plant... because i love you?"

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What word is used to describe a plant's range of emotions? Chlorofeels

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I know a place where the recycling rate is 99% The recycling plant.

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Why did the plant say after being watered? "I'm not hungry exactly, but I could still use a light snack".

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I asked my tomato plant why it needed so much support He said cause I'm a growing boy!

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I recently got a job at the recycling plant But it's soda pressing.

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I had an interview at a solar power plant today... And they asked me how well I understood theoretical physics. I told them, I have a theoretical degree in physics. They said welcome aboard.

Sorry, hype is an overwhelming thing.

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What do you call a gender confused cactus that relocates to another country? A trans plant.

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