Hilarious Japanese Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Japanese Jokes

I held the door open for an old Japanese man, and he said "Sank you!" Being able to understand his heavy accent, I replied "You're welcome."
He laughs and says "No, you misunderstand, I am taunting you about Pearl Harbor."

Score: 14472

Up the mountain, a japanese asked the wise man: "Master Akira, why every western man thinks that we, japanese, all look alike?" "I am not Master Akira."

Score: 11333

Score: 4749

I once thought I had a Japanese friend. But it was just my imagine Asian.

Score: 1828

I held a door for an elderly Japanese man. He said "Sank you."

Why did he have to bring up Pearl Harbor like that?

Score: 1688

How do you say " 'sup dawg" in Japanese? Konichihuahua

Score: 1663

What's the hardest part breaking up with a Japanese girlfriend? You have to drop the bomb on her twice before she gets it.

Score: 1432

What do Japanese cannibals eat Rawmen

Edit: Wow my first post is actually doing pretty well.
Thanks for upvotes and comments. I really don't know how to react.

Score: 1412

How do you say goodbye to 20,000 Japanese? With a big wave.

Score: 1147

What do you call a Japanese spice demon? Pepper-oni.

Score: 1008

Up the mountain, a japanese asked the wise man, “Master Akira, why every western man thinks that we, japanese, all look alike?” “I am not Master Akira.”

Score: 887

What do you get if you take off the red dot on the Japanese flag? The French flag!

Score: 798

I get the words 'Jacuzzi' and 'Yakuza' mixed up. Now I'm in hot water with the Japanese Mafia.

Score: 784

How do you say "no" in Japanese? EA.

Score: 775

How do you say goodbye to a thousand Japanese people? A big wave

Score: 774

I broke up with a Japanese girl last week... It sucked, because I had to drop the bomb twice before she got the message.

Score: 746

How do Japanese chihuahuas say hello? Konnichihuahua

Score: 680

How does a Japanese person distinguish between a German and an extraterrestrial? He doesn't, they are both Aryans.

Score: 442

What was Hannibal Lecter's favorite Japanese food? Rawmen

Score: 343

What's the hardest part about breaking up with a Japanese chick? You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets the message.

Score: 275

What do Japanese men do when they have erections? They vote.

Score: 261

What do you call a fantastic Japanese teacher? Sensei-tional

Score: 250

I broke up with my Japanese girlfriend but she keeps calling me Seems like I have to drop the bomb twice.

Score: 247

Why didn't the Japanese guy get a high five? ..Because Logan left him hanging.

Score: 246

I got the words "jacuzzi" and "yakuza" confused on my trip to Japan Now I'm in hot water with the Japanese mafia

Score: 239

How do you know the Japanese mass murderer was a chef? He spent his day cutting up vegetables

Score: 232

How many tickles does it take to make a Japanese girl cry? 10 tickles

Score: 228

I don't get why Japanese people and South Korean people just can't get along. I mean, they're all Chinese.

Score: 222

What does a Japanese guy name his pet lion? Ryan

Score: 204

I actually have a good Japanese joke. Anime'd it myself.

Score: 181

What do you call an Irish woman with one leg shorter than the other? Ilene.

What do you call a Japanese woman with the same affliction?

Irene.

Score: 139

How can you tell the difference between Japanese people and other Asian people? Use a Geiger counter

*Credit: my friend who has a lot of dark humour

Score: 139

The Hardest Part About Breaking Up With A Japanese Girl? You have to drop the bomb on her twice before she gets it.

Score: 134

I held the door open for a Japanese guy today He said, "sank you", so I punched him in the face. I can't believe he would bring up Pearl Harbor like that.

Score: 132

When did Japanese start eating egg? A long tamago

Score: 130

What's the hardest part about breaking up with a Japanese girl? You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets the message.

Score: 124

Why is it so hard to break up with a Japanese Girl? You have to drop the Bomb twice before she gets the Message.

Score: 122

My girlfriend hated my obsession with Japanese food Sushi left me.

Score: 112

Its hard to break up with a Japanese girl You have to drop the bomb twice before she understands.

Score: 104

Why are Japanese people so obsessed with healthy diets? It's because they never want to see another Fat Man in their lives.

Score: 91

New Japanese Jokes

I got mixed up between the words "Jacuzzi" and "Yakuza" Now I'm in hot water with the Japanese Mafia.

Score: 13

Why did the Japanese man not get a high five Because Logan Paul left him hanging.

Score: 4

I got the words 'jacuzzi' and 'Yakuza' mixed up the other day Now I'm in hot water with the Japanese Mafia

Score: 30

I mixed up the word “Jacuzzi” with “Yakusa” Now I’m in hot water with the Japanese mafia.

Score: 5

So, I was dating a Japanese girl... The relationship grew old rather quickly so I decided to break up with her. When I told her, she just stood there in disbelief. It's like you have to drop the bomb twice for them to get the message.

Score: 18

I asked my wife to buy me Japanese food .. Sushi did

Score: 4

Why are the Japanese so afraid of obese Americans? The last time they let a Fat Man in their country, Nagasaki disappeared.

Score: 6

Did you hear about the Japanese firefighter who changed careers to aviation in 1940? He went from hero to Zero.

Score: 9

What do you call a green-skinned, pointy-eared Star Wars action figure driving a Japanese car? A toy Yoda driving a Toyota.

Score: 4

What does a Japanese bakery thief say? "I Tokyo cookie."

Score: 10

What do you call a Japanese deep fried mattress? a Tempura-Pedic.

Score: 9

A Slovak oligarch, Japanese nationalist, communist and a pirate meet in a parliament... This isn't a joke. It's Czech Republic.

Score: 21

How does a Japanese chihuahua say hello? Konichiuaua

Score: 10

How many tickles does it take to make a Japanese girl scream Ten tickles

Score: 25

How do Japanese dogs say hello Konnichihuahua

Score: 24

A Japanese Professor took up singing He was Sensei-tional

Score: 4

Master Akira A confused japanese student asks his master:
- Master Akira, why does all japanese people look alike?
And his master answered :
- I am not Master Akira.

Score: 12

Why is it so hard to break up with a Japanese girlfriend? You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets it.

Score: 27

Most people enjoy being tickled a few times. But the Japanese really love ten tickles, from what I've heard.

Score: 19

What do you call a transgender Japanese person? A Nintendo switch.

Score: 6

Just been to an apathetic Japanese restaurant. No forks were given.

Score: 12

How do you tell the difference between Chinese and Japanese people? A Geiger counter usually does the trick

Score: 24

How do you distinguish between a Japanese guy and a Chinese guy? Use a Geiger Counter.

Score: 12

What do Japanese Pirates do? Fry Pranes

Score: 4

What kind of car does a Japanese horse drive? A neigh-san

Score: 6

How do Japanese chihuahua's say hello? Konnichichuahua

Score: 6

Did you know that 70% of all Japanese business men have cataracts? The rest drive Rincolns.

Score: 7

How does a chihuahua say good day in japanese? Konnichihuahua

Score: 22

What do you call a Japanese woman with one leg? Irene

Score: 8

How do a Japanese Chihuahua say hello? KONICHIHUAHUA!! 😀

Score: 5

What do you call a barefooted Japanese man? No sake

Score: 6

What do you get when you take the red circle off the Japanese flag? The French flag.

Score: 19

Why are there no feminists in Japan? Because Japanese hunt whales.

Score: 7

I heard most Japanese men have cataracts It's not true, some of them drive Rincons

Score: 7

A German and Japanese man walk into a B.A.R They didn't come home that night.

Score: 5

What's Japanese for "Terrible" EA

Score: 7

I've decided I'm going to major in computer science and Japanese. I'm gonna master weeb design.

Score: 8

A crab, a lobster, a dolphin... and a Japanese dude run over by a truck. Which one doesn't match up?

[The dolphin. The other three are all crustaceans/crushed Asians](#s)

Score: 7

What's the worst thing about breaking up with a Japanese woman? You would have to drop the bomb on her twice before she gets it.

Score: 7

My Grandfather’s getting on a bit and he can’t do the things he used to. Like bomb the Japanese.

Score: 8

A Filipino, a Korean, a Laotian, a Chinese, a Japanese and a Vietnamese go to a fancy restaurant. "Sorry" says the Maitre d' ... "You can't be seated without a Thai."

Score: 5

What do you say to a japanese-mexican Konichijuan

Score: 11

A Japanese man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian replies "Get out of here, you won't bring it back"

Score: 16

What do you call a Japanese man in America with $8932 and 40 cents? A Mill*yen*aire.

...Yeah I know I'm a shitbird.

Score: 9

Why is it so hard to break up with a Japanese person? You have to drop the bomb twice before they get the message

Score: 8

My grandfather never forgave the Japanese for Pearl Harbor... ...until I explained to him that it was the Americans who made that movie.

Score: 4

Today I saw a Japanese man rushing to the elevator The door was closing, so I held it open for him.
He replied with, "Sank you".

Why did he have to mention Pearl Harbor like that?

Score: 7

What's the difference between a Japanese person and a cannibal? One eats Ramen, the other eats Raw Men

Score: 32

What did the Japanese man say as the Hiroshima sky was filled with the light of an atomic bomb, in a split second? Wow this blew up fast.

Score: 4

What did the Japanese stoner say? Toke yo

Score: 8

What didn't the Japanese understand nuclear missile technology? It was a little over their heads

Score: 4

What is the worse part of breaking up with a Japanese person? You have to drop the bomb twice to get the message.

Score: 12

What's the worst part of having to break up with a Japanese girlfriend? you have to drop the bomb twice before she gets it

Score: 65

Broke up with my Japanese girlfriend today. I had to drop the bomb twice before she got a hint.

Score: 31

What do the Japanese do when they have erections? They vote.

Score: 6

What do the Japanese do when they have an erection? They vote.

Score: 69

A recent study revealed that 85% of all Japanese men have cataracts. The rest drive Rincons and Chevrorays.

Score: 83

A Japanese man wished to join the knights of England. The recruitment official turned him away, however, stating that there can not be any chinks in their knights' armor.

Score: 3

Why do Japanese people look so serious in pictures? Last time they saw a flash it destroyed their country

Score: 22

How can you tell difference between Chinese & Japanese? With Geiger counter.

Score: 28