Japanese Jokes

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Funniest Japanese Jokes

I held the door open for an old Japanese man, and he said "Sank you!" Being able to understand his heavy accent, I replied "You're welcome."
He laughs and says "No, you misunderstand, I am taunting you about Pearl Harbor."

Score: 14472

Up the mountain, a japanese asked the wise man: "Master Akira, why every western man thinks that we, japanese, all look alike?" "I am not Master Akira."

Score: 11333
Funny Japanese Jokes
Score: 4749

I once thought I had a Japanese friend. But it was just my imagine Asian.

Score: 1828

I held a door for an elderly Japanese man. He said "Sank you."

Why did he have to bring up Pearl Harbor like that?

Score: 1688

How do you say " 'sup dawg" in Japanese? Konichihuahua

Score: 1663

What's the hardest part breaking up with a Japanese girlfriend? You have to drop the bomb on her twice before she gets it.

Score: 1432

What do Japanese cannibals eat Rawmen


Edit: Wow my first post is actually doing pretty well.
Thanks for upvotes and comments. I really don't know how to react.

Score: 1412

How do you say goodbye to 20,000 Japanese? With a big wave.

Score: 1147

What do you call a Japanese spice demon? Pepper-oni.

Score: 1008

Up the mountain, a japanese asked the wise man, “Master Akira, why every western man thinks that we, japanese, all look alike?” “I am not Master Akira.”

Score: 887

What do you get if you take off the red dot on the Japanese flag? The French flag!

Score: 798

I get the words 'Jacuzzi' and 'Yakuza' mixed up. Now I'm in hot water with the Japanese Mafia.

Score: 784

How do you say "no" in Japanese? EA.

Score: 775

How do you say goodbye to a thousand Japanese people? A big wave

Score: 774

I broke up with a Japanese girl last week... It sucked, because I had to drop the bomb twice before she got the message.

Score: 746

How do Japanese chihuahuas say hello? Konnichihuahua

Score: 680

How does a Japanese person distinguish between a German and an extraterrestrial? He doesn't, they are both Aryans.

Score: 442

What was Hannibal Lecter's favorite Japanese food? Rawmen

Score: 343

What's the hardest part about breaking up with a Japanese chick? You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets the message.

Score: 275

What do Japanese men do when they have erections? They vote.

Score: 261

What do you call a fantastic Japanese teacher? Sensei-tional

Score: 250

I broke up with my Japanese girlfriend but she keeps calling me Seems like I have to drop the bomb twice.

Score: 247

Why didn't the Japanese guy get a high five? ..Because Logan left him hanging.

Score: 246

I got the words "jacuzzi" and "yakuza" confused on my trip to Japan Now I'm in hot water with the Japanese mafia

Score: 239

How do you know the Japanese mass murderer was a chef? He spent his day cutting up vegetables

Score: 232

How many tickles does it take to make a Japanese girl cry? 10 tickles

Score: 228

I don't get why Japanese people and South Korean people just can't get along. I mean, they're all Chinese.

Score: 222

What does a Japanese guy name his pet lion? Ryan

Score: 204

I actually have a good Japanese joke. Anime'd it myself.

Score: 181

A recent study revealed that 85% of all Japanese men have cataracts. The rest drive Rincons and Chevrorays.

Score: 83

What do the Japanese do when they have an erection? They vote.

Score: 69

What's the worst part of having to break up with a Japanese girlfriend? you have to drop the bomb twice before she gets it

Score: 65

I got the words 'jacuzzi' and 'Yakuza' mixed up the other day Now I'm in hot water with the Japanese Mafia

Score: 30

How can you tell difference between Chinese & Japanese? With Geiger counter.

Score: 28

Why do Japanese people look so serious in pictures? Last time they saw a flash it destroyed their country

Score: 22

So, I was dating a Japanese girl... The relationship grew old rather quickly so I decided to break up with her. When I told her, she just stood there in disbelief. It's like you have to drop the bomb twice for them to get the message.

Score: 18

I got mixed up between the words "Jacuzzi" and "Yakuza" Now I'm in hot water with the Japanese Mafia.

Score: 13

What is the worse part of breaking up with a Japanese person? You have to drop the bomb twice to get the message.

Score: 12

Did you hear about the Japanese firefighter who changed careers to aviation in 1940? He went from hero to Zero.

Score: 9

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New Japanese Jokes

Me: what’s three nine in Japanese? Them: San kyu.

Me: you’re welcome.

Score: 3

I decided to learn the history behind Japanese animation It was a bizarre adventure

Score: 0

What do you say when you want to sit in the passenger seat of a Japanese car? I call shogun!

Score: 0

I got the words "jaccuzi" and "yakuza" confused Now I'm in hot water with the Japanese mafia

Score: 0

How do Japanese say what’s up? Wasa-bi

Score: 0

I realized my relationship with my Japanese girlfriend wasn't working. I told her that we should end it but she didn't seem to get that. So I had to drop the bomb twice before she understood.

Score: 2

Breaking up with my Japanese girlfriend was harder than I thought it would be.. I had to drop the bomb twice before she got it.

Score: 2

What's the hardest part of having a "it's not working" conversation with your japanese girlfriend? You need to drop the bomb twice

Score: 3

Why did the Japanese man not get a high five Because Logan Paul left him hanging.

Score: 4

How does a Japanese Pimp say hello? "Wasabi!"

Score: 3

I mixed up the word “Jacuzzi” with “Yakusa” Now I’m in hot water with the Japanese mafia.

Score: 5

I don’t think Japanese get offended by hight jokes It will go over their head.

Score: 1

Why is it hard to break up with a Japanese person? Because you have to drop the bomb twice for them to understand.

P.S. : Reposting this as some Japanese folks didn't get it the first time around.

Score: 3

I asked my wife to buy me Japanese food .. Sushi did

Score: 4

What do you call a mix between Japanese Martial Arts and a Bar Mitzvah? Jewjitsu

Score: 2

Why didn’t the Japanese get a high five? Logan Paul left him hanging

Score: 1

How do you say 'thank you' to a Japanese Brazilian? Obrigado gozaimasu

Score: 0

Why did the Japanese man not get a high five? Logan Paul left him hanging.

Score: 2

How do Japanese bloods say whats up to eahother? Wassah B?

Score: 1

Why are the Japanese so afraid of obese Americans? The last time they let a Fat Man in their country, Nagasaki disappeared.

Score: 6

My Japanese friend met with an accident I vdecided to visit him in the hospital. When I entered his room he started saying "watashi no sanso chubu kara oriru" over and over until he died. Apparently it means "get off from my oxygen tube".

Score: 2

What do you call a green-skinned, pointy-eared Star Wars action figure driving a Japanese car? A toy Yoda driving a Toyota.

Score: 4

How do Japanese chihuahua's say hello? Konnichichuahua

Score: 6

How do a Japanese Chihuahua say hello? KONICHIHUAHUA!! 😀

Score: 5

What's Japanese for "Terrible" EA

Score: 7

Today I saw a Japanese man rushing to the elevator The door was closing, so I held it open for him.
He replied with, "Sank you".

Why did he have to mention Pearl Harbor like that?

Score: 7

After World War 2, birth rates and the libido among Japanese males was at an all-time low. Why? They lost their tojo.

Score: 2

I recently broke up with my long term Japanese girlfriend... She didn't seem to understand so I had to drop the bomb on her twice.

Score: 1

A Japanese magician does a disappearing trick A Japanese magician does a disappearing act with his son.

They come up to the stage and the Japanese magician begins the magic trick, counting down,
Ichi, ni... And Poof he disappeared along with his san

Score: 2

A Japanese man wished to join the knights of England. The recruitment official turned him away, however, stating that there can not be any chinks in their knights' armor.

Score: 3

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