Japanese Jokes

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Funniest Japanese Jokes

I held the door open for an old Japanese man, and he said "Sank you!" Being able to understand his heavy accent, I replied "You're welcome."
He laughs and says "No, you misunderstand, I am taunting you about Pearl Harbor."

Score: 14472

Up the mountain, a japanese asked the wise man: "Master Akira, why every western man thinks that we, japanese, all look alike?" "I am not Master Akira."

Score: 11333
Funny Japanese Jokes
Score: 4749

I once thought I had a Japanese friend. But it was just my imagine Asian.

Score: 1828

I held a door for an elderly Japanese man. He said "Sank you."

Why did he have to bring up Pearl Harbor like that?

Score: 1688

How do you say " 'sup dawg" in Japanese? Konichihuahua

Score: 1663

What's the hardest part breaking up with a Japanese girlfriend? You have to drop the bomb on her twice before she gets it.

Score: 1432

What do Japanese cannibals eat Rawmen


Edit: Wow my first post is actually doing pretty well.
Thanks for upvotes and comments. I really don't know how to react.

Score: 1412

How do you say goodbye to 20,000 Japanese? With a big wave.

Score: 1147

What do you call a Japanese spice demon? Pepper-oni.

Score: 1008

Up the mountain, a japanese asked the wise man, “Master Akira, why every western man thinks that we, japanese, all look alike?” “I am not Master Akira.”

Score: 887

What do you get if you take off the red dot on the Japanese flag? The French flag!

Score: 798

I get the words 'Jacuzzi' and 'Yakuza' mixed up. Now I'm in hot water with the Japanese Mafia.

Score: 784

How do you say "no" in Japanese? EA.

Score: 775

How do you say goodbye to a thousand Japanese people? A big wave

Score: 774

I broke up with a Japanese girl last week... It sucked, because I had to drop the bomb twice before she got the message.

Score: 746

How do Japanese chihuahuas say hello? Konnichihuahua

Score: 680

How does a Japanese person distinguish between a German and an extraterrestrial? He doesn't, they are both Aryans.

Score: 442

What was Hannibal Lecter's favorite Japanese food? Rawmen

Score: 343

What's the hardest part about breaking up with a Japanese chick? You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets the message.

Score: 275

What do Japanese men do when they have erections? They vote.

Score: 261

What do you call a fantastic Japanese teacher? Sensei-tional

Score: 250

I broke up with my Japanese girlfriend but she keeps calling me Seems like I have to drop the bomb twice.

Score: 247

Why didn't the Japanese guy get a high five? ..Because Logan left him hanging.

Score: 246

I got the words "jacuzzi" and "yakuza" confused on my trip to Japan Now I'm in hot water with the Japanese mafia

Score: 239

How do you know the Japanese mass murderer was a chef? He spent his day cutting up vegetables

Score: 232

How many tickles does it take to make a Japanese girl cry? 10 tickles

Score: 228

I don't get why Japanese people and South Korean people just can't get along. I mean, they're all Chinese.

Score: 222

What does a Japanese guy name his pet lion? Ryan

Score: 204

I actually have a good Japanese joke. Anime'd it myself.

Score: 181

What's the worst part of having to break up with a Japanese girlfriend? you have to drop the bomb twice before she gets it

Score: 65

I asked my girlfriend to buy me some Japanese food. ... sushi did.

Score: 35

How can you tell difference between Chinese & Japanese? With Geiger counter.

Score: 28

I drop kicked a Japanese woman today After holding the door open for her, she said to me "Sank you"

How dare she bring up Pearl Harbor like that after my nice gesture!

Score: 26

Why do Japanese people look so serious in pictures? Last time they saw a flash it destroyed their country

Score: 22

So, I was dating a Japanese girl... The relationship grew old rather quickly so I decided to break up with her. When I told her, she just stood there in disbelief. It's like you have to drop the bomb twice for them to get the message.

Score: 18

What is the worse part of breaking up with a Japanese person? You have to drop the bomb twice to get the message.

Score: 12

How does a Japanese alligator express its gratitude? Aligato

Score: 11

What font do Japanese people use Times new ramen

Score: 9

What did the Japanese stoner say? Toke yo

Score: 8

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New Japanese Jokes

Me: what’s three nine in Japanese? Them: San kyu.

Me: you’re welcome.

Score: 3

What do you call a man cooking stir-fry in a Japanese technology company? Sony wok man.

Score: 0

What do you call the degree of heat present in a typical japanese dish usually consisting of seafood, meat and vegetables that have been battered and deep fried? Tempurature.

Score: 0

During WW2, the Japanese had their own version of Great Britain’s Vera Lynn. Her most popular song was called, “Whale Meat Again.”

Score: 1

I decided to learn the history behind Japanese animation It was a bizarre adventure

Score: 0

What do you say when you want to sit in the passenger seat of a Japanese car? I call shogun!

Score: 0

I got the words "jaccuzi" and "yakuza" confused Now I'm in hot water with the Japanese mafia

Score: 0

How do Japanese say what’s up? Wasa-bi

Score: 0

Did you hear about the Japanese man who suffered burns trying to save a bar? He did it for his own Sake

Score: 6

I accidentally got the words Jacuzzi and Yakuza mixed up. Now I'm in hot water with the Japanese Mafia

Score: 3

I got the words "jaccusi" and "yakuza" confused. Now I'm in hot water with the Japanese mafia.

Score: 1

I realized my relationship with my Japanese girlfriend wasn't working. I told her that we should end it but she didn't seem to get that. So I had to drop the bomb twice before she understood.

Score: 2

Breaking up with my Japanese girlfriend was harder than I thought it would be.. I had to drop the bomb twice before she got it.

Score: 2

How does a Japanese Pimp say hello? "Wasabi!"

Score: 3

I got the words “jacuzzi” and “yakuza” messed up Now I’m in hot water with the Japanese mafia

Score: 1

I don’t think Japanese get offended by hight jokes It will go over their head.

Score: 1

A man typed the name of the new Japanese Emperor into his iPhone, but the autocorrect mistakenly changed it to Emperor Naruto.

Score: 1

I messed up between Jacuzzi and the Yakuza. I’m in hot water now with the Japanese Mafia.

Score: 6

I asked my wife to buy me Japanese food .. Sushi did

Score: 4

What do you call a mix between Japanese Martial Arts and a Bar Mitzvah? Jewjitsu

Score: 2

Why didn’t the Japanese get a high five? Logan Paul left him hanging

Score: 1

What do you call a Japanese MILF with a dark complexion? Hiroshi Ma.

Score: 1

How do you say 'thank you' to a Japanese Brazilian? Obrigado gozaimasu

Score: 0

what do you call a person obsessed with japanese gaming consoles? A Wiib.

Don't touch my mustache.

Score: 1

How do Japanese bloods say whats up to eahother? Wassah B?

Score: 1

Why are the Japanese so afraid of obese Americans? The last time they let a Fat Man in their country, Nagasaki disappeared.

Score: 6

My Japanese friend met with an accident I vdecided to visit him in the hospital. When I entered his room he started saying "watashi no sanso chubu kara oriru" over and over until he died. Apparently it means "get off from my oxygen tube".

Score: 2

what's a Japanese ghosts favorite type of cake? Boo Cah-Ke

Score: 6

What do you call a green-skinned, pointy-eared Star Wars action figure driving a Japanese car? A toy Yoda driving a Toyota.

Score: 4

How do a Japanese Chihuahua say hello? KONICHIHUAHUA!! 😀

Score: 5

I once told a bully " don't mess with me, I know karate " ... & 4 other Japanese words.

Score: 1

We can thank the Japanese for the abundance of peanut snacks on airplanes.. Their most common response to post-flight, phone-based, satisfaction surveys was: "Not enough legume."

Score: 0

TIL the USS Colorado made nearly 12,000 career dives during WWII- significantly more than most modern submarines- and sunk the last Japanese warship of the war! Sorry, wrong sub :(

Score: 2

I once helped an elderly Japanese man cross the street. Afterwards he said, "Sank you." So I punched him in the face.
He didn't have to bring up Pearl Harbor like that.

Score: 3

Today I saw a Japanese man rushing to the elevator The door was closing, so I held it open for him.
He replied with, "Sank you".

Why did he have to mention Pearl Harbor like that?

Score: 7

American Fat Man Falls... ...Levels Japanese City.

Score: 1

An old joke from a pub Why is professional boxing like Japanese sweet corn?

It's cooked.

Score: 1

After World War 2, birth rates and the libido among Japanese males was at an all-time low. Why? They lost their tojo.

Score: 2

What do you tell a smelly Japanese person? Takashawa.

Score: 2

A Japanese man wished to join the knights of England. The recruitment official turned him away, however, stating that there can not be any chinks in their knights' armor.

Score: 3

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