Sans Jokes

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Funniest Sans Jokes

Funny Sans Jokes

What do you call a group of senior Japanese comedians? Comic Sans

Comic Sans walks into a bar. The bartender yells, "we don't serve your type in here."

Comic Sans walks in to a bar. The bartender says, sorry we don’t serve your type.

Comic Sans Comic Sans walks into a bar. The bartender says, "we don't serve your type here."

What's Robin Hood's favourite font? Sans Sheriff!

If an angel statue is removed from a fountain... ...would that make it a sans seraph font?

What was Bob Marley's favourite font? Sans Sheriff!

Who handles font related crimes? A sans sheriff!

Headstone Designer: I'm going to use Comic Sans on your headstone. Client: Over my dead body!

Headstone Designer: Yes

What is Bob Marley's Favorite Typeface? Sans Sheriff

Comic Sans walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, "Get out, we don't serve your type!"

What font was used on Wyatt Earp's tombstone? Sans Sheriff.

I had trouble getting drunk off the coast of East Africa Turns out Zanzibar is sans a bar.

Comic Sans walks into a bar The Bartender says, “Get Out- We don’t serve your type.”

What do you call a fountain whose angel statue has been stolen? A sans seraph font.

Comic Sans Serif walks into a bar.... ... the bartender says: "Get out! We don't serve your type here! "

What is Chewbacca's least favorite font? Sans Solo.

A Font Designer and a Police Officer Walk Into a Bar... The font designer leaves sans sheriff.

just finished editing an article on freedom of speech can't choose between comic sans and liberation serif

What's a french criminal's favourite font? Sans Sheriff

What is Caveman's favourite font? Rock Sans

Arial, Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar and the bartender says Hey, we don't serve your type here

This girl wanted to show me her sans clothing... I mean, I appreciate a good Undertale cosplay but I feel misled.

[Rogue One Spoilers] What is the empire's favorite kind of font? Sans Scarif

What is the Empire's favorite font type? Sans scarif

What is Caveman-Sting's favourite font? Rock Sans

I got a job as a stand up with a comic sans resume, but i lost my CV Now im a comic sans resume

Ned Stark's death was foretold in his daughter's name Because when he died, she was sans a Stark

Comic sans and Times new Roman walk into a bar... “Get out!” yells the bartender. “We don’t serve your type!“

A man stumbles into a lawless town on the American fontier looking for help Only to find it sans sheriff

What is Bob Marley's favorite font? Anything sans sheriff.

I made an Undertale comic, but it’s all about sans Well, I guess, you can call it Comic Sans

A comedian I knew thought it'd be funny to think of a joke about a font. However, after 3 hours thought he came up with nothing. Turns out he's a comic sans genius.

An old West town without it's elected peacekeeper is sans sheriff

Where are the 49ers playing their home games this season? Sans Fansisco

In other news, Pakistan's official font has been announced: Sans Sharif.

What is the first rule of font club? What is the first rule of font club?
No talking about font club.
What is the second rule of font club?
No using comic sans

Why does the current Pakistani Prime Minister hate the Calibri font? Because it is sans Sharif

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Long Sans Jokes

A young woman, let's call her Emma...

... Loses her arms in a tragic bear accident. After healing, she decides to go get a job. The local church decides to find her some work she can do even without arms. She is hired as the new organ player.

Needless to say, her first day as an organ player goes poorly. She quits in shame.

The church decides to hire Emma for another job. She will drive the bus to and from the kids' camps.

But Emma, sans arms, cannot do this job either! She quits in shame.

Finally, there is another job opening at the church, and Emma determines that she will find a way to do this job, whatever it takes! The job is as the bell ringer.

When 1:00 comes around, Emma attempts to ring the bell to no avail. Exasperated, she runs - face first - into the bell, and it let's out a satisfying *bong*.

2:00. *bong, bong*.

3:00 and 4:00 come, and Emma continues to ring the bell. By now she's developed quite a headache. But the day goes on.

5 and 6 and 7 and 8 come and go. *Bong, bong, bong, bong, bong, bong, bong, bong*.

The headache is nearly debilitating. Slamming her face into the bell nine, ten, and eleven times, Emma calls out in pain.

12:00. Nothing.

With no bell ringing, the parishioners become confused. They move up into the tower to investigate, and see Emma lying bloodied, armless, and unconscious on the floor.

"Who is that?" says one parishioner to another.
"I don't know", replied the second, "But her face sure rings a bell".

A mental health facility offers supervised hobbies for its patients.

They have access to painting, exercise, a small library, cooking, all sorts of stuff.

When they paint, they are often instructed to paint their mood, or something they would like to see or do when they are released. Some paint melancholy things, dark with depressive imagery and muted colors. Others paint idealized scenarios of getting back together with old flames, doing normal things with their families, that sort of stuff.

In exercise, they can use stationary bikes or treadmills, medicine balls, yoga, all the usual things you'd expect - sans metal weights and resistance bands.

The library is lacking, mostly due to little by way of literature being approved as "safe" for the patients to read. Mostly lighthearted stories, YA, educational texts, stuff that would only offend your sensibilities by being a horrible bore.

Cooking is interesting, sort of. They serve the same thing for dinner every single evening: a casserole. It's rather underwhelming in flavor, but each night a different patient is allowed to make the cheese & herb crumble for it.

What's interesting about that is that, without fail, *every* patient puts the crumble on the very bottom of the casserole, never on top. None seem to have reasoning for it, nor do any of the staff know when it became the norm around there. By the time the food is done cooking, the would-be topping has lost all crispness to it, but, hey ...

That's how the kooky crumble.

Rusty the dog

Rusty had a great bushy tail and lived his life in a bar. One night, Rusty gets hit by a car. His tail is the only thing left, so the barmaid preserves it.

One night at midnight, the barmaid is about to close up when the ghost of Rusty walks back in, sans tail. "I want my tail back!" says the canine revanent.

The barmaid smiles wryly "Sorry Rusty, but we don't retail spirits after ten".

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