My ex used to hit me with musical instruments I didn't know that she had a history of violins.
I did an ancestry.com family history today and found out that my great grandfather helped Rosa Parks initiate the civil rights movement He was the guy who said, "Get up, that's my seat."
My ex-girlfriend is standing at the opposite end of the museum from me! I want to go say hi but there's just so much history between us.
I spotted my ex girlfriend on the other side of the museum hall, but I was too self-conscious to go say hello. There was just too much history between us.
Isn't it great to live in the 21st century? Where deleting history has become more important than making it.
I looked across the museum hall and spotted my ex girlfriend, but I was too self conscious to say hello. There was just too much history between us.
A teen is telling his parents what he wants to major in
"I want to be a history major," he says.
The dad responds, "No you don't! There's no future in it!"
String Fight My ex used to hit me with stringed instruments. If only I had known about her history of violins.
It's official. The winner of the biggest upset in US presidential history is T-R-U-M-
A-N. 1948. HUGE upset.
Edit 3:30AM ET: this was a *lot* funnier when it was true.
Me reshaping history with one joke. I believe a lot of conflict in the Wild West could have been avoided completely if cowboy architects had just made their towns big enough for everyone.
8 years ago I worked up the courage to ask the shy, beautiful girl who sat next to me in history class to be my girlfriend. Today, I asked her to be my wife. She said no both times.
A person with a four year degree majoring in history walks into a bar. They then head behind the counter and start serving drinks.
My ex wife used to hit me with stringed instraments If only I had known she had a history of violins
1915-17 may have been the worst years in human history for food poisoning. 1.5 million Armenians died from bad turkey.
My wife asked me why I never go to Confession. I told her I just clear my browser history when I want to wash away my sins.
If you have epilepsy, it's important to avoid reading Roman history books. It could cause a Caesar.
I'm not panicking yet about ISPs selling my browser history to advertising companies... On the other hand, when they offer to sell my browsing history to my wife, that would be the appropriate time to panic!
Everybody is saying Harvey Weinstein is the worst person in history, but I think they're forgetting that Hitler is the worst person in history I mean if he finished what he started, we wouldn't have to deal with Weinstein
I was at the museum the other day and saw my ex at the other end of the room I was about to say hi but there is too much history between us
I hate it when
I hate it when engineering students call themselves engineer.
I don't see medical students calling themselves doctor or history students calling themselves unemployed
Have you heard about the curator of the Slavic History exhibit? He's forever Russian around, Czeching that everything gets Polished
Why is it so hard for programmers to get a prescription for pain killers? They have a history with codeine.
I found out my ex girlfriend was at the opposite end of the museum as me today. I wanted to go say hi to her but there was just too much history between us.
Isn't it great to live in 21st century ? Where deleting history has become more important than making one.
What do the “bad parts” of American history and common sense have in common? They are being wiped from existence.
A Samoan man gave me a detailed history and explanation of his heritage, culture, and the country in which he was raised Those specific islanders!
A Canadian research team has made history by freezing mice to temperatures of absolute zero.
Animal rights groups are outraged by the cruel tests performed on the animals.
But they’ll be 0K.
We always feel time passing forward and in a straight line and never otherwise Because the history is written by the vector.
I told my girlfriend she should take the time in getting to know me She then decided to go through my browsing history
I saw my ex girlfriend standing across the museum hall, but I was too self conscious to say hello. There was just too much history between us.
The true reason behind why Germany 's government aid artist in time of crisis
Because they have seen what an artist from Austria was capable of during the great recession.
P.s go read some ww2 history if u dont get it
I saw my ex-girlfriend across the museum hall, but I felt too self conscious to go say hello.. there was just too much history between us..
Guns don't kill people 100% of people who have ever reported being shot have survived, never in history has someone reported being killed by one
I saw my ex girlfriend standing on the other end of the museum hall, but I was too self conscious to say hello. There was too much history between us.
What do you call a potato on Kim Jong Un’s balls?
Came up with this in my history class haha
Greatest weight loss program in history EU will lose billions and billions of pounds when Britain leaves
There was definitely a time in human history where people really shined Especially the ones in the uranium mines
I asked my doctor if I have OCD because of my compulsive cleaning. Apparently cleaning your browser history does not count.
My nerdy friend just got a PhD on the history of palindromes. He's really good, knows his stuff forwards and backwards.
MY nerdy friend just received a PHD on the History of Palindromes. Now we just call him Dr Awkward
Of all the bad things that are happening in China, one particular stands out. Edit - Nothing bad is happening in China --- Everything is fine .-. There's no need to worry - people are happy ..- China is peaceful .-. with peaceful history .
I was trying unsuccessfully to convince people on a military history subreddit that I was French. Finally I gave up.
They all laughed at me when I said I’ll be the funniest comedian in history But now, no ones laughing.
I just realized how woke Nintendo is. The Wii and WiiU may be the first consoles in history to have preferred personal pronouns.