Pig Jokes

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Funniest Pig Jokes

Funny Pig Jokes
Score: 1598

Why did the pig cross the road? Because the chicken told him to teargas protestors for a photo-op

Score: 612

Teacher: "Kids, what does the fluffy chicken give you?" Students: Eggs!

Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pink pig give you?"

Students: "Bacon!"

Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"

Students: "Homework!"

Score: 490

Teacher: "What can you get from a chicken?" Student: "Meat!"

Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"

Student: "Bacon!"

Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"

Student: "Homework!"

Score: 349

A guy calls 911 and says: "I hit a pig on the side of the highway, what do I do?" The operator replies: "If it's still alive, put it out of its misery."

The operator hears a gunshot and then the man comes back on the phone.

"Done, now what do I do with his motorcycle?"

Score: 250

If a mass of beef fat is 'tallow', and mass of pig fat is 'lard', what is a mass of human fat called? 'American'.

​

Just kidding, it's actually called 'Yo Momma'.

​

Score: 226

What do a hot potato and a thrown pig have in common? One is a heated yam, and the other is a yeeted ham.

Score: 182

Teacher :) Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"

Score: 156

What’s the difference between a politician and a flying pig the letter “f”

Score: 123

A pig with wings walks into a bar. Stunned, the bartender says "You can't bring food in here from another restaurant! Even if you are a cop!"

Score: 103

Teacher: "Kids,what does the chicken give you?" Students: "Eggs!"

Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"

Students: "Bacon!"

Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"

Students: *"Homework!"*

Score: 94

So if a Chicken carries salmonella, and a Cow carries e-coli, what does a pig carry? A gun, a badge, and a "get out of jail free" card.

Score: 86

Teacher Questions Student Teacher: "Kids,what does the chicken give you?"

Student: "Meat!"

Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"

Student: "Bacon!"

Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"

Student: "Homework!"

Score: 86

What do you call a pig mixed with a centipede? Bacon and scrambled legs.

Courtesy of my 6 year old daughter. She said she made it up and I can't verify that but it cracked us up so I thought I'd share.

Score: 77

A teacher in a Chicago kindergarten class asked... her class what kind of sound a pig makes.

Little Tyrone stood up and yelled: "FREEZE, MUTHAFUCKA!"

Score: 75

Why did the pig go into the kitchen? He felt like bacon.

Score: 67

A teacher is teaching. Teacher: "Kids,what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"

(sorry for the TERRIBLE title)

Score: 61

What’s the difference between a politician and a flying pig The F

Score: 58

One brave student... Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"

Student: "Meat!"

Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"

Student: "Bacon!"

Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"

Student: "Homework!"

Score: 58

Do you know what animals give you? Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Eggs!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"

Score: 58

What do you call a pig with three eyes? A piiig!

Score: 56

What is the most common use for pig skins? To keep the pig in one piece.

Score: 55

Hillary Clinton walks into a bar... Hillary Clinton walks into a bar with a pig on a leash.

The bartender looks at them and says "You can't bring that cow in here!"

Hillary replies, "It's a pig, not a cow."

The bartender says "I was talking to the pig."

Score: 53

I took my dying pig to the vet Imagine my surprise when he said he had cured it .. he really knows his salt.

Score: 48

What does the fat cow give you? Teacher: "Kids,what does the little chicken give you?"
Student: "Eggs!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the squealy pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"

Score: 48

Why was the pig in the kitchen? It was bacon.

Score: 46

A pig goes to a bar and knocks back ten beers. "Need to know where the bathroom is? You've had quite a lot," asked the bartender.

"Nah," said the pig. "I'm the one that goes wee-wee-wee all the way home."

Score: 44

Teacher VS Student Teacher: "Kids,what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"

Score: 41

A woman on her way home from market was carrying a duck... ...when a drunk staggered up to her and said, "Hey, where'd ja get the pig?" The woman replied, "You drunken fool, that's no pig -- it's a duck!" And the drunk said, "Quiet, woman , I was talking to the duck!"

Score: 41

The teacher is asking a student a question. Teacher: "Kids,what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"

Score: 38

A teacher was quizzing Johnny on farm animals Teacher: "Johnny, what does the chicken give you?"

Johnny: "Meat!"

Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"

Johnny: "Bacon!"

Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"

Johnny: "Homework!"

Score: 36

A teacher asks her student Teacher: What does a Bee gives us?

Student: Honey

Teacher: What does a cow gives us?

Student: Milk

Teacher: What does a fat pig gives us?

Student: Homework

Score: 34

Teacher:Kids,what does the chicken give you? Teacher: "Kids,what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"

Score: 33

Teacher: "Kids,what does the chicken give you?" Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"

Score: 33

What do you call a pig that gets stuck in a bush? A hedge hog.

Score: 31

Teacher: "Kids, Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"

Score: 30

A Man Walks Into His House With a Sheep Under His Arm... He finds his wife in the kitchen and says, "This is the pig I've been sleeping with when you're not around."

The wife says, "That's a sheep, not a pig you fool."

The husband says, "I wasn't talking to you."

Score: 30

There's a pig on the farm tanning... And the farmer walks up to him and says, "Hey pig, what are you laying out in the sun for?"

The pig then says, "Oh no reason, I'm just bacon!"

I am *very* proud of this joke.

Score: 30

I have a talking pig stuck to my fridge. It's a Babe magnet.

Score: 28

joke - Daily dose of laughter. Teacher: "Kids,what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"

Score: 24

Funny Jokes!!! Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"

Score: 23

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New Pig Jokes

When is a pig not pork. When you cook it with pine nuts, it’s a pork you pine.

Score: 4

What do you call a British pig that has been set on fire? Birmingham!

Score: 3

A guy is driving through a rural area when he sees a farmer holding a pig up to a tree so the pig can eat apples.
He stops his car and shouts to the farmer, 'Isn't that a waste of time?'
'Shoot'. says the farmer, 'what's time to a pig?'

Score: 1

Pig joke What do you get when you play tug of war with a pig... PULLED PORK

Score: 1

What language did ancient Roman police speak? Pig Latin

Score: 7

Why would a pig dressed in black never get bullied? Because Batman has sworn to protect goth ham

Score: 5

What does a pig do when it gets a rash? Applies oinkment

Score: 2

Slightly tweaking a joke my 4 year old told me What do you call it when a pig picks its nose and wipes it on a cow?

A hambooger

Score: 7

What do you call a pig who study's law and does karate? A pork chop suey.

Score: 1

What animals say The cow goes moo

The horse goes neigh

The dog goes woof

The pig goes "you have the right to remain silent"

Score: 2

What do you call it when a pig picks its nose and eats it? A hambooger

This joke is courtesy of my four and a half year old.

Score: 2

What did the pig with Tourette’s say? Oinkionknnkionoiknonioknkkkk innonikoooinkki inoioinkonoinooinkkniik

Score: 1

What language to cops speak? Pig Latin.

Score: 1

Why did the pig cross the street? To clock in at the precinct

Score: 6

What do cows give you? Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"

Score: 18

What do you call if a pig is in a tug of war Pulled pork

Sorry if this is a repost. I'm new to this subreddit

Score: 4

What do you call a pig in kung fu class? Pork chop

Score: 5

What do you get when you cross a pig and a dinosaur. Jurassic Pork.

Score: 11

What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop!... I'm sorry ;-;

Score: 2

What sound does a british pig make? Oink, mate

Score: 1

What did the pig say to the spanish butcher? Porque

Score: 5

Today I saw the wurst thing happen to a pig I wish I never sausage a thing

Score: 9

Teacher:Kids what does a chicken give you Students: Eggs Teacher: Very good now what does the pig give you Kids: Bacon Teacher: Excellent now what does the fat cow give you Kids: Homework

Score: 4

What do you call pig who knows karate? Pork Chop

Score: 3

What do you call it when a pig is murdered? A ham-i-cide

Score: 9

A man walks into his house with a duck under his arm. ​

He walks up to his wife with it and says, "This is the pig I've been f\*cking'." His wife says, "That's a duck." He quickly replies, "I wasn't talking to you."...

Score: 5

One guy is returning from work with a duck under his shoulder. The husband opens the door and the wife greets him.

Wife: "Hello,honey."

Husband: "See, I have been f*cking this pig for a while."

Wife: "But, I see no pig?"

Husband: "I wasn't talking to you."

Score: 1

teacher and class Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"

Students: "Meat!"

Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"

Students: "Bacon!"

Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"

Students: "Homework!"

Score: 12

What’s Pink and Hard? A Pig with a flick-knife.

Score: 2

Why wasn't the wild pig invited to any parties? Because everyone thought he was a boar.

Score: 6

What do you call a pig with 3 eyes? Piiig.

Score: 12

What is another term for "a pig in a blanket"? My mother-in-law on a cold day

Score: 3

In the winter a man says to his wife: "Should we get the pig inside, it is freezing out there." "But it stinks", says the wife to which the husband replies:
"He will get used to it!"

Score: 3

Pig that drinks tequila What do you call a pig that drinks tequila?

Jose Puerco!

Edit* for whatever reason this just popped in my head so sorry for the bad joke!

Score: 1

What do you call a pig with two legs? your mom

Score: 1

What’s Nothing in Pig Latin? ay

Score: 2

What do you call a pig that’s still sick? Uncured

Score: 2

What do you call a pig knight? Sir Loin.

Score: 3

Tried pig tipping today That sow I roll.

Score: 1

A man walks into his house... A man walks into his house with a duck under his arm.
He walks up to his wife with it and says, "This is the pig I've been f*cking'."
His wife says, "That's a duck."
He quickly replies, "I wasn't talking to you.

Score: 6

GREAT RAFFLE **First Prize:** A pig without a leg

**Second Prize:** A pig's leg

Score: 2

A girl goes into a bar A women goes into a bar carrying a duck under her arm. “Get that pig out of here!” Yells the bartender. “That’s not a pig, stupid,” she replies, it’s a duck! “I know says the bartender, I was talking to the duck

Score: 10

What sound does a French pig make? Oinque

Score: 4

How do you turn a pig into a fox? 8 beers.

Score: 6

What do you call a pig that knows karate? Pork chop.

Score: 4

Did you hear about the pig that saved a man's life? There was this guy who was starving to death...

Score: 2

Teacher: Your homework for today will be: Tell me what a cow gives us,tell me what a pig gives us,and tell me what a dog gives us Next day
Teacher: Simon,what do you have vor an answer ?
Simon: A cow gives us milk,a pig gives us meat,and a dog gives us homework

Score: 1

What kind of medicine did the pig need? Oinkment.

Score: 2

What did the sheep say to the pig on Christmas Day? Fleece Navidad!

Score: 3

Why did the pig to to the kitchen? He felt like bacon.

Score: 2

What do you call a cooked pig that was beautiful? Baecon

Score: 2

Camouflage What do you call a pig who's good at hiding among pine trees ?
.
.
.
Porkypine

Score: 2

What do you call a pig that can do karate? A Pork Chop.

Score: 2

Man Bear Pig isn't real. It's just an ALleGOREy.

Score: 2

What does a thieving pig say? Yoink.



My school was having a contest for the worst joke of the week and this was the best I had.

Score: 3

Bo started Pig Latin school Bo started Pig Latin school, but he had a very hard time saying his name.

The teacher eventually kicked him out of class because he couldn't "obey."

Score: 4

What do you call a wise pig who's also a lumberjack? A saw sage

Score: 3

What do you call it when a pig does karate? Pork chop

Score: 6

What is the difference between participation and commitment? A chicken participates in breakfast. A pig is committed to it.

Score: 2

I once worked at a slaughterhouse and saw a pig get killed I never sausage a thing

Score: 4

Teacher Joke Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"

Score: 2

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