Turkey Jokes

When Christmas was coming up, my kids asked for a puppy. When I got them one, they cried for days... I'll just get a turkey next year like normal.

I used to be addicted to Thanksgiving leftovers I had to quit cold turkey

Why was the UN concerned when the waiter dropped Thanksgiving dinner? Because it meant the fall of turkey, the ruin of grease, and the breakup of china.

The doctor said I should stop eating meat immediately for health reasons... I asked if I had to quit cold turkey.

What do Americans and Putin have in common? They'll both be nuking Turkey after Thanksgiving.

Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove he wasn't chicken.

If Russia invaded Turkey from the rear... Would Greece help?

I finally got a microwave to heat up my leftovers So I was able to quit cold turkey

I feel bad for eating all the Thanksgiving leftovers that were in the fridge... but it's hard to quit cold turkey.

A turkey was about to cross the road... when a chicken appeared and said "dont do that that, you will never hear the end of it"

It seems like every year I wind up eating leftovers from Thanksgiving until weeks afterwards. Not this year though, I'm quitting cold turkey.

I used to be addicted to Thanksgiving leftovers But then I quit cold turkey

My daughter told me she wanted a puppy for Christmas... I told her "you're eating turkey like everyone else".

What's the best way to serve Turkey? Join the Turkish Army.

What are the Russians eating for thanksgiving? Beef with turkey

1915-17 may have been the worst years in human history for food poisoning. 1.5 million Armenians died from bad turkey.

It's Thanksgiving, who doesn't like Turkey? Russia

If Turkey was attacked from the rear Would Greece help?

Why don't the Greeks, Slavs, and Armenians celebrate Thanksgiving? Because they don't like Turkey

My family is getting worried about my consumption of deli meats, and I'm not sure what to do... They're trying to pressure me into quitting cold turkey!

What’s the hardest food to stop eating? Cold turkey

I no longer eat club sandwiches I quit cold turkey.

What's the difference between Turkey and Duck? Duck doesn't deny the Armenian Genocide.

So, If ISIS was to attack turkey from the rear ... would greece help?

I regret joining a band with a turkey on drums. He usually forgets his drumsticks so he has to wing it.

What do ISIS want for Christmas? Turkey, apparently.

My five-year-old said he wanted a kitten for Christmas. Usually we have turkey, but why not?

I was Hungary... so Iran to Turkey

If Russia were to invade Turkey from behind... Do you think Greece would help?

I couldn't bring myself to shoot my own turkey for thanksgiving ... So I dressed one up in baggy sweat pants and gave it a bag of skittles and a cop shot it for me

After eating Thanksgiving at my house, my friends are always asking me how I prepare the turkey... ...easy, I tell the bird he is going to die.

What's the difference between a Thanksgiving turkey and an EA game? The turkey is stuffed with content and you only have to pay for it once.

I didn't think housework is a full-time job, so for Thanksgiving my wife served me a raw turkey. Revenge is a dish best served cold.

How do they call dog cakes in Turkey? Barklava.

Fat persons three favorite countries!?? Turkey, Hungary, & Greece :D

My kid is a Geography nerd, he's 3.... He says, "when I'm Hungary, I eat Turkey!" I can never out dad-joke this fella.

We should start a middle eastern war over Thanksgiving. That way we can slaughter a Turkey twice.

What does Turkey and Miss Muffet have in common? Khurds in way

I'm no longer going to eat Thanksgiving leftovers. I'm trying to quit cold turkey