When Christmas was coming up, my kids asked for a puppy. When I got them one, they cried for days... I'll just get a turkey next year like normal.
I used to be addicted to Thanksgiving leftovers I had to quit cold turkey
Why was the UN concerned when the waiter dropped Thanksgiving dinner? Because it meant the fall of turkey, the ruin of grease, and the breakup of china.
The doctor said I should stop eating meat immediately for health reasons... I asked if I had to quit cold turkey.
What do Americans and Putin have in common? They'll both be nuking Turkey after Thanksgiving.
Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove he wasn't chicken.
If Russia invaded Turkey from the rear... Would Greece help?
I finally got a microwave to heat up my leftovers So I was able to quit cold turkey
I feel bad for eating all the Thanksgiving leftovers that were in the fridge... but it's hard to quit cold turkey.
A turkey was about to cross the road... when a chicken appeared and said "dont do that that, you will never hear the end of it"
It seems like every year I wind up eating leftovers from Thanksgiving until weeks afterwards. Not this year though, I'm quitting cold turkey.
I used to be addicted to Thanksgiving leftovers But then I quit cold turkey
My daughter told me she wanted a puppy for Christmas... I told her "you're eating turkey like everyone else".
What's the best way to serve Turkey? Join the Turkish Army.
What are the Russians eating for thanksgiving? Beef with turkey
1915-17 may have been the worst years in human history for food poisoning. 1.5 million Armenians died from bad turkey.
It's Thanksgiving, who doesn't like Turkey? Russia
If Turkey was attacked from the rear Would Greece help?
Why don't the Greeks, Slavs, and Armenians celebrate Thanksgiving? Because they don't like Turkey
My family is getting worried about my consumption of deli meats, and I'm not sure what to do... They're trying to pressure me into quitting cold turkey!
What’s the hardest food to stop eating? Cold turkey
I no longer eat club sandwiches I quit cold turkey.
What's the difference between Turkey and Duck? Duck doesn't deny the Armenian Genocide.
So, If ISIS was to attack turkey from the rear ... would greece help?
I regret joining a band with a turkey on drums. He usually forgets his drumsticks so he has to wing it.
What do ISIS want for Christmas? Turkey, apparently.
My five-year-old said he wanted a kitten for Christmas. Usually we have turkey, but why not?
I was Hungary... so Iran to Turkey
If Russia were to invade Turkey from behind... Do you think Greece would help?
So this guy checks into rehab the day after Thanksgiving. He couldn't quit cold turkey.
What's the difference between a turkey and Def Leppard? A turkey has two drumsticks
If you want to break your addiction to Thanksgiving leftovers... you need to quit cold turkey.
I've decided to avoid Turkey this Thanksgiving... Way too close to Syria.
My family told me to stop eating the leftover Thanksgiving food from the fridge. But sadly, I couldn't quit cold turkey.
I accidentally ordered a ham and cheddar instead of a turkey and swiss... Whoops, wrong sub
What's the hardest part of going vegetarian? Giving up cold turkey
What international disaster occurred after someone dropped the Christmas dinner? The downfall of Turkey, the overthrow of Greece and the destruction of China.
What do you call a turkey with Parkinson's Disease? Turkey Jerky
What's the difference between a Thanksgiving turkey and an EA game? The turkey is stuffed with content and you only have to pay for it once.
Why did the foreign ministers of the Eastern Mediterranean meet? They wanted to talk Turkey
What's a dyslexic turkey's favorite word game? Gobble
What does Turkey and Miss Muffet have in common? Khurds in way
My kid is a Geography nerd, he's 3.... He says, "when I'm Hungary, I eat Turkey!" I can never out dad-joke this fella.
My father has a serious problem with Thanksgiving leftovers, he won't stop till they're gone So he quit cold turkey
Why does Trump have the most expensive Thanksgiving day? Because he’ll impose tariff on Turkey
How do they call dog cakes in Turkey? Barklava.
Fat persons three favorite countries!?? Turkey, Hungary, & Greece :D
Shoutout to all the people that got rid of their addictions to cold turkey I just think not enough people talk about this epidemy that affects thousands of Americans
If Russia invaded Turkey from behind I'm sure Greece would help.
What does an anti-Semitic turkey say? Goebbel goebbel.
I decided to stop going to Istanbul in winter I quit cold Turkey.
I was addicted to poultry until after thanksgiving. It was a terrible cold turkey.
A turkey and his friend are walking down a street... When a ghost pops out and screams "Boo!". The friend screams in terror while the turkey has no reaction. A while later, the friend asked why the Turkey wasn't afraid. He responded "I'm not chicken".
Why did the turkey cross the road? Because he wasnt a chicken.
A man is getting some deli meat...
And he asks the clerk: "How long does turkey last?"
The clerk replies: "oh about 5 days or so."
Man:"Really?! That doesn't sound right, I think it's closer to 2 weeks!
Clerk:"Oh no that's a bunch of bologna"
Ten years ago i quit cold turkey Now I eat cold chicken
My friend asked me how I was doing with my cold turkey withdrawal from chocolate bars I replied, No kinder bueno.
Why did the turkey cross the road? It was the chickens day off.
As a pack a day smoker, instead of quitting cold turkey, I decided I'd only smoke when I drank So I became an alcoholic
What is the national bird of Turkey? The Heron of Troy
Turkey has the moon on its flag Meanwhile the United States has its flag on the moon.
What's the best way to quit Thanksgiving cold turkey
A mom and her daugter (christmas)
Daughter: "Mom, can I get a cat or a dog at Christmas, please?“
Mom: "No honey, you will be getting turkey, like every Christmas!“
What do you call a movie about a family haunted by a Turkey? Poultrygeist.
How to properly use the phrase "Fire in the hole!" Step 1: Eat 4 spicy turkey burritos…
What do you call a group of my ex-girlfriends sitting around a table eating turkey? Skanksgiving
I heard that certain foods can be addictive So I quit cold turkey.
If I could have lunch with anyone from history... I'd have the turkey club with a cup of the soup.
I really like European food... ...so I decided to Russia over to a European restaurant because I was Hungary. After Czech'ing the menu I ordered Turkey. When I was Finnished I told the waiter 'Spain good but there is Norway I could eat another bite'.
What do you call a Vietnamese turkey? A gobbledygook
My wife took some shrooms the other night and accidentally put our baby in the oven thinking it was a turkey It was really tough for us, but we managed to eat all of it
Who wasn't hungry on Christmas? The Turkey, he was stuffed!
Cross the Road... Fat Turkey Why did the fat turkey cross the road?
My doctor told me I was eating too much meat So I decided to quit cold turkey
My friend told me he had an addiction to refridgerated deli meats I told him he needs to quit cold turkey
Why did Turkey cross the road To invade Byzantium of course, the Turks were vicious when it came to invasion.
Shot my first turkey today! Scared everyone in the frozen food section
What sound does a space turkey make?
Hubble, hubble, hubble
[shamelessly stolen joke from the Facebook page of "Grammarly"]
Turns out I'm addicted to refigerated poultry. I've gotta quit cold turkey.
How do you know Putin is late for Thanks Giving? He's Russian to Turkey.
What does a Turkey eat when it's hungry? An Armenian!
What does ISIS want for Christmas? Turkey, apparently.