When Christmas was coming up, my kids asked for a puppy. When I got them one, they cried for days... I'll just get a turkey next year like normal.
What do Americans and Putin have in common? They'll both be nuking Turkey after Thanksgiving.
A turkey was about to cross the road... when a chicken appeared and said "dont do that that, you will never hear the end of it"
My daughter told me she wanted a puppy for Christmas... I told her "you're eating turkey like everyone else".
Europe is like a fridge
You have the freezing cold part at the top
Then in the middle, you have cheese, cold meat, and a good drinks selection
Then down the bottom corner, there's just turkey and grease
Why don't the Greeks, Slavs, and Armenians celebrate Thanksgiving? Because they don't like Turkey
I regret joining a band with a turkey on drums. He usually forgets his drumsticks so he has to wing it.
My wife threw a pack of turkey and a lighter in the cart and my God the temptation was strong... It was just last week since I quit smoking cold turkey
My girl just got a tattoo of a turkey on one thigh and Santa Claus on the other.
She wants to show that there *is* something good to eat in between
Thanksgiving and Christmas.
I couldn't bring myself to shoot my own turkey for thanksgiving ... So I dressed one up in baggy sweat pants and gave it a bag of skittles and a cop shot it for me
How do you end world hunger? Put Turkey in Greece to cook it, then cut it up and put it into Chile. Then put it on China and give it to Hungary.
My kids say they want a cat for Christmas Normally I do turkey but hey, if it wil make them happy.
I recently heard that you can get salmonella from eating raw meats Guess I gotta quit cold turkey
What's the difference between NATO and the bottom of my fridge? NATO has more than just Turkey and Greece
Turkey can now finally join the EU Why? Well because now that the UK has left, there's 1 GB of free space
Turkey can use Wikipedia now. The joke is that the site was blocked in Turkey for almost 3 years.
I always like to go bowling on Thanksgiving. Because I am guaranteed to get a turkey that day.
What do Thanksgiving and the Kurds have in common?
America loves them and Turkey would prefer they didn't exist.
What’s the difference between a turkey and Turkey? A turkey wouldn’t commit genocide against innocent people
A lot of talk about Turkey this week which got me thinking... ...how does OJ Simpson like his white meat cut?
As of 2019, Trump is the best Thanksgiving president.
He let the biggest Turkey off scot free.
A month earlier.
Trump must have never eaten a thanksgiving poutine... Anyone who has could tell you curds and turkey don’t get along.
An ode to the Canadian Thanksgiving: How do you keep a turkey in suspense? I will tell you tomorrow.
The country of Turkey is a lot like Little Miss Moffett... They both have Kurds in their way.
Coming to theaters: the thrilling tale of a man who ate biographical books instead of turkey on Thanksgiving. Baste on a true story.
We should start a middle eastern war over Thanksgiving. That way we can slaughter a Turkey twice.
I tried to give up refrigerated poultry, but decided against it. I'm quitting quitting cold turkey cold turkey cold turkey
No dog meat please Daddy, daddy, can we have a dog for Christmas? No, I think we'll have turkey as usual.
A butcher answers a phone call.
The caller asks:
- Do you have chicken legs?
- Do you have a pig head?
- Do you have cow ears?
- Do you have turkey wings?
The caller finally says:
- Damn, dude, you must look really crazy!
I sat down to eat my turkey sandwich and my wife yells, "Enjoying your meat, you murderer?" I only wish one day goes by without her mentioning the time I killed her mother
There’s a strange new trend in my office.
People are naming food in the office refrigerator.
Today I had a turkey sandwich called Betty!
Son : Mom, Can't we have grandma for Christmas?
Mom : No, we are gonna have turkey like everyone else.