Turkey Jokes

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Funniest Turkey Jokes

Funny Turkey Jokes
Score: 1974

When Christmas was coming up, my kids asked for a puppy. When I got them one, they cried for days... I'll just get a turkey next year like normal.

Score: 1502

I used to be addicted to Thanksgiving leftovers I had to quit cold turkey

Score: 434

Why was the UN concerned when the waiter dropped Thanksgiving dinner? Because it meant the fall of turkey, the ruin of grease, and the breakup of china.

Score: 392

The doctor said I should stop eating meat immediately for health reasons... I asked if I had to quit cold turkey.

Score: 247

What do Americans and Putin have in common? They'll both be nuking Turkey after Thanksgiving.

Score: 205

Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove he wasn't chicken.

Score: 169

If Russia invaded Turkey from the rear... Would Greece help?

Score: 167

I finally got a microwave to heat up my leftovers So I was able to quit cold turkey

Score: 137

I feel bad for eating all the Thanksgiving leftovers that were in the fridge... but it's hard to quit cold turkey.

Score: 131

A turkey was about to cross the road... when a chicken appeared and said "dont do that that, you will never hear the end of it"

Score: 111

It seems like every year I wind up eating leftovers from Thanksgiving until weeks afterwards. Not this year though, I'm quitting cold turkey.

Score: 110

I used to be addicted to Thanksgiving leftovers But then I quit cold turkey

Score: 107

My daughter told me she wanted a puppy for Christmas... I told her "you're eating turkey like everyone else".

Score: 106

What's the best way to serve Turkey? Join the Turkish Army.

Score: 95

What are the Russians eating for thanksgiving? Beef with turkey

Score: 74

1915-17 may have been the worst years in human history for food poisoning. 1.5 million Armenians died from bad turkey.

Score: 69

It's Thanksgiving, who doesn't like Turkey? Russia

Score: 66

If Turkey was attacked from the rear Would Greece help?

Score: 62

Why don't the Greeks, Slavs, and Armenians celebrate Thanksgiving? Because they don't like Turkey

Score: 58

My family is getting worried about my consumption of deli meats, and I'm not sure what to do... They're trying to pressure me into quitting cold turkey!

Score: 56

What’s the hardest food to stop eating? Cold turkey

Score: 54

I no longer eat club sandwiches I quit cold turkey.

Score: 53

What's the difference between Turkey and Duck? Duck doesn't deny the Armenian Genocide.

Score: 50

So, If ISIS was to attack turkey from the rear ... would greece help?

Score: 48

I regret joining a band with a turkey on drums. He usually forgets his drumsticks so he has to wing it.

Score: 46

What do ISIS want for Christmas? Turkey, apparently.

Score: 45

My five-year-old said he wanted a kitten for Christmas. Usually we have turkey, but why not?

Score: 44

I was Hungary... so Iran to Turkey

Score: 41

If Russia were to invade Turkey from behind... Do you think Greece would help?

Score: 40

What's the difference between a Thanksgiving turkey and an EA game? The turkey is stuffed with content and you only have to pay for it once.

Score: 10

I didn't think housework is a full-time job, so for Thanksgiving my wife served me a raw turkey. Revenge is a dish best served cold.

Score: 8

I've had Thanksgiving dinner four times and I'm kind of getting addicted. I'm quitting this cold turkey.

Score: 7

How do they call dog cakes in Turkey? Barklava.

Score: 6

Fat persons three favorite countries!?? Turkey, Hungary, & Greece :D

Score: 3

My kid is a Geography nerd, he's 3.... He says, "when I'm Hungary, I eat Turkey!" I can never out dad-joke this fella.

Score: 3

We should start a middle eastern war over Thanksgiving. That way we can slaughter a Turkey twice.

Score: 3

What does Turkey and Miss Muffet have in common? Khurds in way

Score: 3

I'm no longer going to eat Thanksgiving leftovers. I'm trying to quit cold turkey

Score: 3

My father has a serious problem with Thanksgiving leftovers, he won't stop till they're gone So he quit cold turkey

Score: 1

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New Turkey Jokes

What did the turkey that hated Spiderman say? goblin goblin

Score: 0

Why did the foreign ministers of the Eastern Mediterranean meet? They wanted to talk Turkey

Score: 0

What's a dyslexic turkey's favorite word game? Gobble

Score: 1

My friend told me he had an addiction to refridgerated deli meats I told him he needs to quit cold turkey

Score: 0

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