Baseball Jokes

Contents

Funniest Baseball Jokes

Q: Why can't orphans play baseball? A: Because they don't know where home is.

Score: 515

Why don't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is

Score: 444

Years ago, I viciously beat up my high school bully with a baseball bat. Both of his arms were broken. Come to think of it, that's probably why I felt brave enough to beat him up.

Score: 351

I saw a giant mouse so I tried killing it with a baseball bat So now I have a lifetime ban from Disneyland

Score: 286

Why can't an orphan play baseball? Because he can't run home

Score: 153
Funny Baseball Jokes
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Why can’t orphans play baseball? Because they don’t know where home is.

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Why don't orphans play baseball? Because they don't know where home is.

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Why are orphans so bad at baseball? They don't know where home is.

Score: 55

Why don't orphans play baseball? They have no home to run to

Score: 49

Why don't they allow lesbians to play baseball? When they get to third base they think they've scored

Score: 48

Back in the DOS days, I wrote a single file program that was a hit. baseball.bat

Score: 45

Apparently Michael Jackson was also a gifted baseball player. He was big in the minors.

Score: 44

What was the score of the Ethiopian baseball game? Eight-nothing

Score: 44

My wife told me she wanted to see a huge diamond for her birthday So I took her to a baseball game

Score: 43

A rough, hard drinking baseball umpire was upset because he couldn't get his little boy to sit on his lap and talk to him.

After all, the son never sits on the brutish umpire.

Score: 41

Three old women sneak some Jack Daniels into a baseball game, taking shots after each half inning. What inning is it now? It's the bottom of the fifth, and the bags are loaded.

Score: 41

Why are orphans terrible at baseball? They've never known what home is.

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Why are orphans bad at baseball? They don't know where home is.

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Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they don't know where Home is

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I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger... And then it hit me.

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Orphans.. Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because...they don't know where home is

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Why can’t orphans play baseball? Bc they don’t know where home is

Score: 24

I was wondering why the baseball was getting bigger, and then it hit me.

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Why can't orphans play baseball? They never know where home is

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China really got the best baseball team. Them people took out half of the world with one bat.

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Why was the baseball team hot? It didn't have any fans!

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Why aren't orphans good at baseball? Becuase they don't know where home is

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Did you know that, during the first game of the 1936 baseball season, the Boston Braves managed to win while also badly injuring six players on the opposing team? They were truly ruthless.

Score: 18

3 old ladies go to a baseball game with a bottle of liquor. They finish the bottle...what inning is it and what are the circumstances on the field? Bottom of the fifth and all the bags are loaded.

Score: 18

Why can't orphans play baseball? 'Cause they don't know where home is.

Score: 17

Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know what home is.

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What's an alcoholic's least favorite part of a baseball game? The bottom of the fifth.

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AND NOW: For the funniest pun ever stolen from another website... I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

Score: 14

I recently saved my town from an invasion of monsters and demons by fighting them off with my trusty baseball bat My neighbours are furious and keep telling me that I ruined halloween

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Which country can play baseball the best? China because they knocked out the entire world with just one bat.

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What has 18 legs and catches flies? A baseball team.

Score: 8

Why are refugees so bad at baseball? Because they can't get home

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Why can't orphans play baseball They would not know where home is!

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Why are orphans bad at baseball? Because they can't find home.

Score: 5

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New Baseball Jokes

Why don’t orphan kids play baseball? They don’t know where home is.

Score: 4

When Dr. Who was in college He was the first baseman on the baseball team.

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What do a baseball bat and a box of chocolates have in common? They can both kill a dog.

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2 men exploring find a bat in a cave... Decide to go back and play baseball

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What do Kevin Hart and a baseball team have in common? One short stop.

...a little too soon?

Score: 3

So apparently the wave at baseball games have now been banned. Pollock drowned.

Score: 1

I COULD’NT FIGURE OUT WHY THE BASEBALL KEPT GETTING LARGER Then it hit me

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Son asks his Dad if he can throw baseball with him. The Dad takes the ball and says, "I'll pitch the ball."

The son runs out onto the field, full of happiness and excitement.

The Dad drops the baseball in the trash and walks away.

Score: 1

Why is a baseball game a good place to go on a hot day? Because there are lots of fans.

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Why did the police arrest the baseball player? Because he allegedly murdered his wife and kids.

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Which baseball player has the shortest commute? The catcher, he only works from home.

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Why wouldn't chickens be very good at baseball? They would balk too much

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The store I work at received a bunch of baseball caps with Pikachu on them. My manager held one up and said, "You know what would happen if you put this on?" "You'd look like an Ash hat!"

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Who is an element's favorite baseball player? Al Kaline.

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So I tried getting some orphans to play baseball... They were terrible at finding home.

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Why is AT&T park the coldest baseball stadium? It's full of Giant fans

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Did you hear about the former baseball player who joined the military and went AWOL? He had a terrible on base percentage.

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Why aren't Orphans good at Baseball? They don't know where Home is.

Score: 5

So a baseball rolls into a bar. The bartender looks at him and says "You must be here for a pitcher!"

[Edit] I'm pretty sure I made this joke up y'all!

Score: 5

A baseball player walking into a bar He tries to take a shot of whisky but ends up splashing it all over his shirt.
A baseball commentator from the other side of the bar says "A swig and a miss!"

Score: 2

Before the shooting the worst problem at the congressional baseball game was... Republicans don't want to play left field.
Democrats don't want to play right.
Nobody wants to play center.

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A baseball player got caught in a pickle yesterday... I heard it was a really big dill.

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What's the difference between the Cowboys and the Indians? One plays football the other plays baseball

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I was playing baseball with my friend Tandra and she was pitching. I hit the ball straight into left field and made it to second base. That's a double on Tandra.

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[Dark] Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is.

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Why don't homeless play baseball? They don't know where home is.

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What sport does my dad refuse to play? Baseball, he never wants to come home.

Score: 4

I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger Then it hit me.

Score: 2

What do Chinese Dogs and baseball pitchers have in common? Whenever that have a bad day they balk a lot

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What's the difference between my dad and a baseball? The baseball doesn't leave a mark when it hits me

Score: 4

My baseball coach told me to steal first base.. So I grabbed it and ran as fast as I could!

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Why can't the orphan play baseball? Because he can't find home!

Score: 4

Funny how people get all angry when you break something of theirs that never use Like turn signals with a baseball bat.

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A man dies after being struk by a baseball, foul play is suspected.

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The Atlanta quarterback should become a baseball pitcher... He's great at throwing.

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Said this joke in a dream and I woke up laughing. What's the cure for baseball?

Alzheimer's.

Score: 1

Baseball fans in Chicago and Boston got married. It's not a same-sox marriage.

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What's the difference between a motivational speaker and a baseball player? The baseball player has all of its limbs.

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You hear the one about the kid in Las Vegas? He asks his dad, "Pop, why can't I go out in the street and play football and baseball like the other kids?" And his father says, "Keep dealing."

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A baseball player was hit in the head with a line drive yesterday... today he's more open-minded

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Why did little Johnny hate baseball? Every time he reaches third base, his teammates tell him to go home.

Score: 1

I was trying to figure out how to properly hold a baseball bat then it struck me

Score: 1

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