The other day I held the door for a clown. I thought it was a nice jester.
Women say they want a man who is funny and spontaneous But you knock on their bedroom window at midnight in a clown costume and suddenly it's all screaming and throwing things and police helicopters.
What clown has killed more children than "It"? Ronald McDonald.
McDonald's will give you a free combo meal...
McDonald's will give you a free combo meal and £127.38 if you go to the Drive Thru dressed as a clown.
With a gun.
Yesterday a clown held open the door for me What a nice jester.
The best insult ever is, "who is this clown?", because...
#1- You are calling them a clown
#2- You are saying they are not even a well known clown
It must be tough having the world's best clown as your dad. You would have such big shoes to fill
Which clown has killed the most people? Ronald McDonald
What do you call a Jewish clown? Pennywise
What is the difference between a well dressed man on a bicycle and a poorly dressed clown on a tricycle? Attire
A clown held open a door for me today. I thought it was a nice jester.
A kid and a clown are walking through the woods.
The kid looks around and says, "man these woods sure are scary"
The clown replies, "you're telling me I have to walk out of here alone."
A clown is walking through the woods with a kid
The kid looks up at the clown, "It's getting late, and I'm getting scared."
Clown says, "YOU'RE scared? I have to walk out of here alone."
A blind clown is asked to perform at a children’s hospital. He is led into the amputee ward and begins with some jokes, but not one child laughs.
“A song, perhaps,” he thinks. “That’ll cheer ‘em up!”
“Ifffffff you’re happy and you know it....”
Yesterday a clown held the door open for me I thought it was a nice jester
THAT'S NOT FUNNY, THAT'S SICK! A clown and a little boy are walking through the woods. The boy says "it sure is dark and scary here". The clown says "how do you think I feel? I'm coming back alone".
A little boy and a clown are walking through the woods at night...
"Golly!" the boy says, "It sure is scary out here!"
"You think you're scared!" the clown replies. "I'm the one who has to walk home all alone."
A clown held open a door for me. It was a nice jester.
A clown held the door open for me the other day. It was a nice jester.
A clown and a little girl walk through a dark forest.
The girl says, "I'm scared!"
The clown replies, "you think you're scared? I have to walk back alone!"
A clown held the door for me today. I thought it was a nice jester.
"I order the execution of 6 million Jews and 1 clown!"
His officer responds with
"Why the clown?"
To which Hitler replies with
"See! No one cares about the Jews!"
A clown held the door open for me the other day. I thought that was a kind jester.
The girl I met last week said she wanted a guy who was "funny and spontaneous" I showed up at her kitchen window late at night wearing a clown suit and suddenly it's all panic and screaming...
The life of a clown A clown goes to his boss to ask for a raise, the boss replies: "20 years working for me and you finally make me laugh."
Yesterday, a clown held a door open for me... I thought it was a nice jester...
Today a clown opened a door for me I said "that's a nice jester"
I once held a door for a clown It was a nice Jester
Paying a clown to blow up balloons at a party is pretty expensive. Must be inflation.
A clown with a briefcase walks into a bar The barman calls security and says "sorry, no funny business"
What's the difference between a well dressed man on a bicycle and a clown on a unicycle? Attire
What happened when the clown-fish tried to fast travel? You cannot fast travel when anemone is nearby.
Yesterday, a clown held open the door for me. it was a nice jester.
Clown A clown opened a door for me... and I thought to myself... "what a nice jester"
What do you call a clown that is good with money? Pennywise.
At my therapy session today, I suddenly remembered that as a child I was molested by a clown. I never knew I had IT in me.
Why didn't the clown get the job at the circus? He just wasn't It.
A clown held the door open for me today. It was a nice jester.
What's the difference between a clown and a colombian? Ones a smug juggler the other is a drug smuggler.
I think it was totally disrespectful for Joe Biden to call the President of the United States a clown. As a clown, I'm extremely offended
Would you shut up man! You clown! The summary of the American presidential debate
What does a clown living in a sewer and a person working in technical support have in common? They both are from IT
Today, I held a door open for a Clown. It was a nice Jester.
What did the guy who had a one night stand with a clown do? He Did It
What do you call a person crossing a road in broad daylight, dressed as a clown carrying John Wick's dog? Anything you want, cos if he's carrying John Wick's dog, he hasn't got much time to live.
How to make clown cry ? Kill his family.
A little kid told me this joke one time and I thought it was genius.
“Why was the clown sad?”
“Cause he got shot in the face...”
You can tell how amazingly progressive the world's become... When you see countries like Ukraine, America, and China elect a comedian, a clown, and a cartoon bear to be their presidents.
By my 9 yr old foster kid: why did the lamp want to be a clown? It wanted to join the circuits.
Hold the door for a clown It's a nice jester
I saw a clown drinking an alcoholic drink while doing death defying stunts. I told him, "That's whiskey."
A small boy saved a clown from a stormwater drain. Police cannot believe It!
2 cannibals are eating a clown One looks at the other and asks "does this taste funny to you?"
A clown just held the door for me... ...Long story short, I thought it was a nice jester.
My go-to response when someone says "tell me a joke" What did the clown say to the birthday boy? I don't do jokes, kid.
I freaked out when I saw the clown from IT at my local thrift shop But then I remembered he was Pennywise
HOW DO YOU KILL A CIRCUS CLOWN?? A: Go for the juggler!
Townspeople of Derry think Georgie Denborough was murdered by a clown... But his death was later determined to be a sewercide.
I finally watched that movie about the Psycho clown that destroyed the lives of innocent children. Halfway into it I realised it was just a string of old McDonald's Ads.
That clown movie topping the box office is the real reason why we've been having so many hurricanes Because when IT reigns, it pours.
The clown from the new IT movie isn't very dollar smart But I hear he's pennywise.
What do you call it when a clown farts? Laughing gas
A clown and a five year old boy are walking into the woods
As they get deeper into the forest the little boy says, Wow it's scary in here!
The clown replies, What are you scared of, I gotta walk out of here alone!
Everybody really loves the new "IT" movie. But when I dress up as a clown, and lure kids into the sewer with red balloons I get diagnosed as a psychopath.
I think they should have adjusted for inflation in the new "It"... And called him Nickelwise the Clown.
I'm a performance artist. My next show involves peeing on a scary clown.... And now, Urine on It.
What do you call it when a clown is being raped? Forced Humor
I think I had a one night stand with a clown. I woke up, she was gone but her face was still on my pillow.
Two mimes are eating a cannibal clown One turns to the other and says
One day in 1960's China... Mao told his chief of police to send 10,000 intellectuals and a clown to rural exile. The police chief asked "Why the clown?" Mao laughed and said "That's the spirit!"
Why was the clown crying? Clinical depression
Two cannibals are eating a clown. One looks to the other and says, " Does this taste funny to you?"
Late at night I jabbed my wife in the dark and said, " You're it." I nearly fell out of bed when I woke up next to a scary clown in the morning.
Hannibal Lecter and IT the clown meet.
Hannibal: I hate clowns.
IT: Why so?
Hannibal: Because they taste funny.
The villagers mourned the king and his jester after an unfortunate sewage accident. The town casts down frowns when their crown and his clown drowned in the brown.
Bogo the clown killed two people but was only charged with one count of murder.
Two cannibals are eating a clown. One cannibal turns to the other and says "does this taste funny to you?".
City council wanted to demolish the local clown museum. They couldn't because it's a hysterical landmark.
So these two clowns...
These two clowns are eating a cannibal.
One clown looks at the other and says:
"I think we messed this joke up somewhere along the line..."
What did the egg say to the clown? You crack me up!
What would happen if a clown opened his business up to the global market? He would be a laughing stock!
First they came for the clowns...
I didn't speak out because I wasn't a clown.
Then they came for the mimes...
I didn't speak out because I was a mime.
What did the imposter clown say when he was arrested at the House of Lords? "The real joker's in the Commons."
What Do You Call a Rich Clown Penny Wise
Did you know that the clown from Stephen King's novel used to live at his previous job? He worked at the IT department.
Cannibals Two cannibals are eating a clown, one turns to the other and says "Does this taste funny to you?"
How do you make a happy clown cry? Kill his family.
What does the killer clown look for? The Jugular.
Superman: "I'm faster than a speeding bullet, and more powerful than a locomotive" Batman: "I fight a penguin and a really persistent clown"
What do you call a clown in prison? A sillycon
How do you kill a clown? Stab it repeatedly
Clown walks into a bar...
Clown walks into a bar and says, "Bartender, give me a treehouse."
Bartender says, "A treehouse, what's in a treehouse?"
Clown says, "Playboys and cigars, of course!"
You know what they say about people with big feet... You could easily get a part-time job as a clown
How do you fit 6 million Jews into a car? Send them to clown school.
I held the door open for a clown today... ...it was a nice jester.
The Holocaust Wasn't That Bad
"The holocaust wasn't that bad."
"Of course it was!"
"I'm going to go out and kill a million Jews and one clown."
"Why the clown?"
"See, no one cares about the Jews."
Why was Jimmy so excited to go to Clown College? He got a fool scholarship.
Why did the barracuda want to hire the clown fish's anemone? Because the barracuda believed that "anemone of my enemy is a friend."
Why couldn't the clown make balloon animals for the children? With inflation raising the cost he couldn't afford it.