New Years Jokes

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Funniest New Years Jokes

Did you hear that NYC paid Hillary Clinton $2,000,000 as a consultant for New Years Eve? They wanted an expert on dropping the ball at the last second.

Funny New Years Jokes

Im so poor... That my new years resolution is 144p

What's a priests least favorite thing about New Years? The balls drop.

I'm doing well on my New Years resolution to lose 10 pounds I only have 15 more to go.

I finally managed to achieve my new years resolution My 4K monitor turned up this morning, I'm so happy!!

Are you a new years resolution? Cuz I could see myself doing you for a month or two

What was the console gamer's New Years Resolution? 1280x720

New Years resolution Programmers are always grumpy on January 1st - they turn on their monitor and the screen has the same number of pixels even though they keep hearing about the New Year’s Resolution

Seeing as it's almost time for New Years Celebrations for myself Tonight I am an exorcist, as I shall be ridding the house of all Spirits.

Enough with the “I’ll see you next year” jokes on New Years! Those jokes are a decade old now!

My New Years Resolution was to lose 20 lbs. by the end of summer I’ve only got 30 lbs to go.

For this New Years resolution I'm not going to smoke any more weed. But I'm not gonna smoke any less either.

Happy New Years 2013! Hey guys I'm sending this through Internet Explorer, hope you guys had a great 2012!

My new years resolution for 2017 1920x1080

Why did China cancel Chinese New Years? Everybody was kung-flu fighting.

10 things for my new years resolution: 1. Stop being lazy.

My New Years resolution is to go to the gym more often, get into grad school, pay off my bills, and learn a new language. I don’t have a clue how I’m going to get all that done by tomorrow.

I got arrested... I got arrested for punching a guy at a new years party, when you hear an Arab counting down from ten your instincts kick in.

What do you do when you come across Santa on New Years Eve? You wipe it off and apologize.

In 2020 I’m going to try to upgrade from a HD to a 4K TV It’s my New Years resolution.

How do they say “Happy New Years” in Australia? sɹɐǝ⅄ ʍǝN ʎddɐH

My 2015 new years resolution 1920x1080

They say New York has the best New Years Eve Party I’d say it’s overrated - every year they drop the ball

My new years resolution is to lose my virginity I think its time after 85 years

This year, my New Years resolution is to finally go to the gym... ... and cancel that membership I’m been wasting money on every month since last year.

My new years resolutions are: 1: Stop making lists.


B: Be more consistent.


7: Learn to count.

I got kicked in the nuts at Midnight on New Years. I started the year off on the highest note possible.

My internet went out for a few minutes on new years.. Met my family downstairs. They seem like nice people.

Wife just got me a new tv for Christmas! Looks like my New Years resolution is 1080.

My dad told me his New Years resolution was to embrace his mistakes. He hugged my sister and I :(

Whats a low-end PC's New Years Resolution? 800x600

LPT: Be careful driving on New Years Eve A lot of men will be drunk, so their wives and girlfriends will be the ones driving.

Hats off to those people brave enough to wear those silly New Years hats at work. No... I meant take your hats off. You look stupid.

My new years resolution was to hit the gym more often. But I'm on my fourth car this year now. This is getting kind of expensive and I think the police are suspicious.

I was buying a Christmas tree off this lady, and she asked "Are you going to put that up yourself?" I replied "No, I was thinking of putting it up in the living room actually"

​

(Nothing better than a christmas joke on new years eve.)

I'm so broke This New Years Eve I'm gonna party like its $19.99

My new years resolution is the same as last year. 1920x1080

Stay safe out there on New Years Eve Who am I kidding, I'm talking to Redditors.

A New Years Resolution is.. Something that goes in one year and out the other.

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New New Years Jokes

chinese new years 2009. Ox
2010. Tiger.
2011. Rabbit.
2012. Dragon.
2013. Snake.
2014. Horse.
2015. Goat.
2016. Monkey.
2017. Rooster.
2018. Dog.
2019. Pig.
2020. Rat.

All served with rice or chips, bat and pangolin scale sauce £1.00 extra.

Happy New Years! Can we just celebrate a new year tomorrow and be done with 2020?

Happy new years day 260 days in advance Its a dope joke but still....

This quarantine is a lot like the time between Christmas and New Years. I got new underwear, alcohol all over my hands, and my dad still hasn’t come back.

Last Christmas, the boss promised everybody a little something crisp and green in our year-end paychecks. After New Years he had to promise that never again would he put freeze dried frogs into our paychecks.

What happens if you keep your Christmas lights up after New Years in West Virginia? Mothman steals them and takes them to his cave.

It’s nice to see one New Years resolution is being followed. One month in and the EU has already lost a pound.

On Midnight of New Years Eve, I lifted my left leg. Just wanted to start the year on the right foot.

My New Years Resolution this year was to be more selfless, but I gave up after four days. I realized that it isn’t for me.

New Years resolution My new years resolution is to not have intercourse with supermodels.

So ever since new years my son has been making dinosaur noises. Hes really getting into the roaring 20's

For everyone who have made New Years' Resolutions... Come next year after you fail them, you'll realise hindsight is 2020.

Since it's New Years, I can say I haven't showered in a year! Actually it's probably been about a year and a half

I saw Albert Einstein at the New Years Masquerade Party yesterday He was dancing as Spooky Action at a Distance.

I asked some of my foreign friends how the new years fireworks were, and for some reason they showered me with profanities I'll never understand Australians.

Happy new years I just got pulled over and got a ticket because I was driving with out my glasses. I don't get it though I though I finally had 2020 vision.

Cheers to hindsight!! ....it's 2020..

Happy new years everyone.

“What are your plans for New Years?” I dOn’T kNoW, i DoN’t HaVe 2o2o ViSioN

I asked my bully what his New Years resolution was. He told me “To be nice to you.” I answered “Really? Why?” He said because nobody ever keeps their New Years resolution.

New Years Parties at my place are like being in a chemistry lab Some people drop the base, some drop acid while others do ether one.

What happened to the man who shoplifted a calendar on new years eve? He got 12 months!

If you saw all the new years jokes rolling in... You had 20/20 vision

When I was younger I distinctly remember a woman with a snake knocking on our door every December 31st to deliver fresh fruit. As a child I was terrified. But when I got older I realised it was just new years Eve.

If you're afraid of new years parties, it's just some auld lang syne ity Auld lang syne is old English pronounced "old ang sy" commonly.

As a new years resolution, my wife suggested I should remove excess fat... So I filed for divorce!

My new years resolution is to try to always be a "Cup half full" type of person. Whiskey. Vodka. Wine. Whatever.

I have decided I wanted to be healthier so one of my new years resolutions is instead of snacking on processed and sugary foods I am just going to eat nuts instead. The other is to come out to my parents.

Join us at the New Years Party for fuckups! We’ll sit around and watch the Dropping of the Ball.

Just got out of prison after attacking a man on New years eve. Excuse me for getting nervous because an Arab was counting down from 10.

My New Years resolution is to be more assertive! If that's okay with you guys.

My new years's resolution was to lose 10lbs Only 14 more to go!

"New Years resoultion" I have been reading so many bad things lately about how all the bad things sugar and junk food could do to me, so my New Years resoultion is no more reading ?

Why is New York so disappointing during every New Years? They always drop the ball.

My big New Years resolution is to… …get a 4K TV.

Roy Moore missed the New Years Eve countdown. He’s demanding a recount.

Finally decided to introduce my girlfriend to my family for New Years, but they just would not get along. My wife can be such a b!tch during the holidays.

New Years resolution to recycle water I am putting a bucket in each shower and using the collected water in the clothes washer. I really don’t care what everyone else at the gym says.

What is your new years resolution? Last year mine was 4k but next year it'll be 5k.

My new years resolution was to lose 10 pounds. I only have 30 pounds to go!

New Years Day is the least favorite holiday in Hollywood They don't like it nearly as much after the balls drop

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Long New Years Jokes

An Irish daughter had not been home for over five years.

Upon her return, her father questioned her mercilessly. “Where have ye been all this time? Why didn’t you write to us, not even a line? Why didn’t ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old ma through?”

The girl, crying, replied, “Daddy … I became a prostitute.”
“Ye what?! Out of here, ye shameless girl! Sinner! You’re a disgrace to this family.”

“OK, Daddy… as ye wish. I just came back to give Ma this luxurious fur coat, title deed to a ten bedroom mansion plus a savings certificate for $5 million. For my little brother, this gold Rolex and for ye Daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible that’s parked outside, plus a membership to the country club and… an invitation for ye all to spend New Years Eve on board my new yacht on the Riviera.”

“Now what was it ye said ye had become?” asks Dad.
Girl, crying again, says….”A prostitute, Daddy.”

“Oh! Be the Hokey! Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said … a PROTESTANT! Now, come here and give yer old man a hug!”

Haven't done that in a year..

A Dad wakes up and starts making breakfast on New Years Day. The son comes down to the kitchen and as the Dad serves him eggs he goes:

"Morning son, it looks like you haven't eaten all year."

The son scowls at the terrible Dad joke and digs into his eggs. The daughter comes down to the breakfast table and the Dad pours her a glass of orange juice:

"Good morning Daughter, you must be thirsty. It looks like you haven't had anything all year. "

both children scowl and continue their breakfast. The wife finally comes down to the table and as she sits down the father rolls some sausages on to her plate.

"Good morning Wif--"

The son interupts:

"OKAY DAD WE GET IT. TAKE A DAILY ACTIVITY, SAY YOU HAVEN'T DONE IT IN A YEAR- NOT FUNNY"

The Dad calmly keeps serving breakfast and says:

"Son, I was just telling your Mother to enjoy her sausages. The joke wouldn't work since this would be her second serving today."

Edit: He winks

Edit Edit: Wife winks back

Edit Edit Edit: "In a year" to "all year"

20 Things to do Before You Die...

1) Look at see through glass and when someone is on the other side shout "OH MY GOD, I'M HIDEOUS!"
2) Bring a big chair into the elevator facing away from the door and when someone walks in, dramatically turn and say 'we've been expecting you.'
3) Walk up to someone, hand them a potato, look them in the eyes and deadpan 'with great power, comes great responsibility.' Walk away.
4) Call someone to tell them you can't talk right now.
5) Point at someone and shout "You're one of them!" Run and pretend to trip. Crawl away slowly.
6) Buy a donut and complain that there's a hole in it.
7) Put Mayonnaise in a bowl, freeze it, and tell your friend it's ice cream.
8) Put up a "Lost Dog" poster with a picture of a cat on it.
9) In a public toilet, pass a note under the door next to you saying, "They're onto us. We need to go."
10) Walk up to a random person and say, "Wow! You've changed, I still have your picture from five years ago." And hold up a picture of potato.
11) Call McDonalds asking for directions to Burger King.
12) Order a pizza 5 minutes before New Years, and when it comes, yell, "I ORDERED THIS THING A YEAR AGO!
13) Bring a desk on an elevator. When people try to get on ask if they have an appointment.
14) Go to an electronic store with a banana and say that you want to upgrade to an apple.
15) Call Pizza Hut and ask for the phone number to Domino's.
16) Hide a walk talkie in a bush and scare people that walk by.
17) Get on a crowded elevator with a bag in your hands, sigh and say "darn my snake got loose again".
18) When someone asks you if you know what time it is, say yes and walk away.
19) Dress up as a duck and throw bread at people and say,"HOW DO YOU LIKE IT?!! HUH?!!!!
20) Go to a pet shop, point at an employee, and shout "I WANT THAT ONE MOMMY!!!"

An Irish girl goes back to her father’s farmhouse for New Year’s Eve.

Her father asked: “Where have you been all this time? Why did you not write to us, not even a line? Why didn’t you call?”

Crying, the girl replied: “Dad, I became a prostitute.”

“What!? Out of here you shameless harlot! You’re a disgrace to this family.”

“Okay, Dad. If that’s your wish. I just came back to give Mum this luxurious fur coat, title deed to a ten-bedroom mansion plus a savings certificate for $4 million. For me little brother, this gold Rolex and for you Dad, the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible that’s parked outside, plus a membership to the country club and an invitation for you all to spend a fun New Years’ Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera.”

“Now what was it ye said you had become, again?” asked the dad.

The girl, crying again, answered: “A prostitute, Dad!”

“Oh! You scared me half to death, girl! I thought you said a Protestant. Come here and give your old man a hug!”

I was standing in line at the supermarket checkout last week.

I turned around and saw a beautiful young woman who looked a little familiar. I told her that I thought I knew her, to which she replied, "Well you should remember me. You`re the father of one of my kids."

I had to stop and think, and then it hit me. "New Years Eve - 2008. That rooftop party in San Diego! Wow! We got so high together, didn`t we? That was some night, huh? I guess I should have stayed in touch."

She looked at me a little puzzled and said, "What are you talking about? I am your son`s pre-school teacher."

Edit: children → kids

It was Christmas Eve and my wife came home after a busy day of shopping...

As we were getting undressed for bed, I noticed a mark on the inside of her leg.

"What's that?" I asked.

"I went to a tattoo parlor today and on the inside of one leg, I had them tattoo 'Merry Christmas' and on the inside of the other one, they tattooed 'Happy New Year.'"

Perplexed, I asked, "Why did you do that?"

"Well..." she replied. "Now you can't complain that there's never anything to eat between Christmas and New Years."

As we go into New Years, here's something a little more serious.

With Christmas behind us and New Years close upon us, I would like to share a personal experience with my friends and family about drinking and driving.
As you know, some of us have been known to have brushes with the authorities from time to time, often on the way home after a "social session" with family or friends. Well, two days ago, this happened to me. I was out for an evening with friends and had more than several beers followed by some whiskey. Although relaxed, I still had the common sense to know I was slightly over the limit.
That's when I did something I've never done before - I took a taxi home.
Sure enough on the way there was a police roadblock, but since it was a taxi they waved it past and I arrived home safely without incident.
This was a real surprise to me, because I had never driven a taxi before. I don't know where I got it, and now that it's in my garage I don't know what to do with it..
So, anyway, if you want to borrow it give me a call.

An Italian guy named Vinny comes to America to become an American Citizen...

To become an American citizen Vinny has to go to court and stand in front of a judge.

Vinny brings his whole family to the courtroom to cheer him on. They are a very loud and rambunctious Italian family.

Vinny stands in front of the judge and the judge says, "Ok Vinny, before you become an American citizen I have to ask you a few questions about American history"

Vinny very confidently says, "Hey, not a problem judge." As he looks back to his family, he can see that they are all very excited and waiting with eager anticipation.

The judge says "Ok Vinny, who was the first president of the United States?"

Vinny responds, "Oh judge, that's-a easy one... George-a Washington!"

Immediately Vinny's whole family stands up and erupts into applause. You can hear "Hey Vinny!" "That-a boy!" Way to go!"

The judge puts his hands up "Ok, ok, everybody calm down... Second question, when was the Declaration of Independence signed?"

Vinny confidently pulls on his collar a bit, put his hands out in front of him, and says "Judge, another easy one... 1776!"

Once again his family erupts, making more noise than the last time. "Way to go Vinny!" "That-a boy!"

"Calm down, calm down" says the judge.

At this point Vinny is pretty confident. He is looking back at his family, giving them a couple of "Hey-yo, howya doins" and they are loving it.

It seems as if the judge has lost all control of the courtroom. The family is on their feet and Vinny is in love with himself.

The judge says, "Ok Vinny last question."

"Not-a problem judge" Vinny replies.

The judge kind of smirks, knowing there is no way that Vinny gets this one. He says, "Who assassinated Abraham Lincoln?"

The crowd goes silent.

Vinny is looking around with his head down, clearly very distraught. It becomes very apparent that Vinny will not get the answer to this one.

Vinny nervously grabs his collar and replies, "Hey-a judge... well I-a... I don't know."

His family erupts in the biggest uproar of the night. People are now jumping up and down in excitement. It seems as if the clock just his midnight on New Years Day. The judge is banging his gavel, completely confused as to what is going on. Vinny turns to his family and raises his hands high in the air as if he just won a grand prize.

From deep within the crowd you hear a voice shout out with great pride... "That-a boy Vinny! Don't-a squeal on-a nobody!"

Brother Philippe

Brother Philippe worked at a monastery. New years eve comes around and Brother Philippe is stuck with the midnight shift. The weather is terrible. It's poring down. At 11.30 a strange comes in, with a hood covering his face. He ask for a room for the night and Brother Philippe says "of course". The stranger gets the highest room, in the tallest tower. At 11.55 a huge bang comes from the room and Brother Philippe rushes to the room, to find a big hole in the wall and the stranger is gone.

A year passes and Brother Philippe is stuck with the new year shift once again. Like the year before, it's raining a bucket load. At 11.30 a stranger comes in with a hood over his face and asks for a room. Brother Philippe says "of course" and gives him the highest room in the tallest tower. At 11.55 Brother Philippe hears a huge bang from the room with the stranger and rushes up the stairs, to find the bed and the stranger missing.

Another year passes and once again Brother Philippe is stuck with the new year shift. The weather is, once again, heavy rain. At 11.30 a stranger walks in with a hood over his head and asks for a room for the night. Brother Philippe says "of course" and gives him the highest room in the tallest tower.
But this year Brother Philippe is prepared and at 11.45 he walks up the stairs to the room with the stranger. He slowly knock on the door and the stranger answer. Brother Philippe asks "Is it you who have been here, the last 2 new years?" and the stranger reply "yes". So Brother Philippe asks what the deal with the hole in the wall and the missing bed, is all about. The stranger looks at Brother Philippe and says "Can you keep a secret?" and Brother Philippe answers "Yes".

I ran into a complete stranger at my mom's annual New Years party.

I had never seen him before, so I asked him how he knew my mom. He said he had met her earlier in the day. Apparently, my mom was worried that the overall environment of the party wouldn't be as cool as she had hoped for, so she hired a professional to gauge the room.

I was absolutely disgusted.

I had found my mom's vibe rater.

Christmas and New year

It was Christmas Eve. A woman came home to her husband after a day of busy shopping. Later on that night when she was getting undressed for bed, he noticed a mark on the inside of her leg. "What is that?" he asked. She said, "I visited the tattoo parlor today. On the inside of one leg I had them tattoo 'Merry Christmas,' and on the inside of the other one they tattooed 'Happy New Year.'" Perplexed, he asked, "Why did you do that?" "Well," she replied, "now you can't complain that there's never anything to eat between Christmas and New Years!

A Holiday Snack

It was Christmas Eve.

A woman came home to her husband after a day of busy shopping.

Later on that night when she was getting undressed for bed, he noticed a mark on the inside of her leg.

"What is that?" he asked.

She said, "I visited the tattoo parlor today. On the inside of one leg I had them tattoo 'Merry Christmas,' and on the inside of the other one they tattooed 'Happy New Year.'"

Perplexed, he asked, "Why did you do that?"

"Well," she replied, "now you can't complain that there's never anything to eat between Christmas and New Years!"

[Long] Vinny comes to America

A man named Vinny comes to America from Italy and applies for citizenship. To become an American citizen Vinny has to go to court and stand in front of a judge.

Vinny brings his whole family to the courtroom to cheer him on. They are a very loud and rambunctious Italian family.
Vinny stands in front of the judge and the judge says, "Ok Vinny, before you become an American citizen I have to ask you a few questions about American history"

Vinny very confidently says, "Hey, not a problem judge." As he looks back to his family, he can see that they are all very excited and waiting with eager anticipation.

The judge says "Ok Vinny, who was the first president of the United States?"

Vinny responds, "Oh judge, that's-a easy one... George-a Washington!"

Immediately Vinny's whole family stands up and erupts into applause. You can hear "Hey Vinny!" "That-a boy!" "Way to go!"
The judge puts his hands up "Ok, ok, everybody calm down... Second question, when was the Declaration of Independence signed?"

Vinny confidently pulls on his collar a bit, put his hands out in front of him, and says "Judge, another easy one... 1776!"
Once again his family erupts, making more noise than the last time. "Way to go Vinny!" "That-a boy!"

"Calm down, calm down" says the judge.

At this point Vinny is pretty confident. He is looking back at his family, giving them a couple of "Hey-yo, howya doins" and they are loving it.

It seems as if the judge has lost all control of the courtroom. The family is on their feet and Vinny is in love with himself.

The judge says, "Ok Vinny last question."

"Not-a problem judge" Vinny replies.

The judge kind of smirks, knowing there is no way that Vinny gets this one. He says, "Who assassinated Abraham Lincoln?"

The crowd goes silent.

Vinny is looking around with his head down, clearly very distraught. It becomes very apparent that Vinny will not get the answer to this one.

Vinny nervously grabs his collar and replies, "Hey-a judge... well I-a... I don't know that one."

His family erupts in the biggest uproar of the night. People are now jumping up and down in excitement. It seems as if the clock just his midnight on New Years Day. The judge is banging his gavel, completely confused as to what is going on. Vinny turns to his family and raises his hands high in the air as if he just won a grand prize.

From deep within the crowd you hear a voice shout out with great pride... "That-a boy Vinny! Don't-a squeal on-a nobody!"

Christmas Holiday

It was Christmas Eve. A woman came home to her husband after a day of busy shopping. Later on that night when she was getting undressed for bed, he noticed a mark on the inside of her leg. "What is that?" he asked. She said, "I visited the tattoo parlor today. On the inside of one leg I had them tattoo 'Merry Christmas,' and on the inside of the other one they tattooed 'Happy New Year.'" Perplexed, he asked, "Why did you do that?" "Well," she replied, "now you can't complain that there's never anything to eat between Christmas and New Years!"

Hungry!!!

It was Christmas Eve. A woman came home to her husband after a day of busy shopping. Later on that night when she was getting undressed for bed, he noticed a mark on the inside of her leg. "What is that?" he asked. She said, "I visited the tattoo parlor today. On the inside of one leg I had them tattoo 'Merry Christmas,' and on the inside of the other one they tattooed 'Happy New Year.'" Perplexed, he asked, "Why did you do that?" "Well," she replied, "now you can't complain that there's never anything to eat between Christmas and New Years!"

I met a guy who liked farming machinery

I was in a pub the other night when I met a strange looking fellow sat at the bar. He was quite a big man, with thin black hair slicked over. My new years resolution was to be more sociable, so I went over to him.

We got talking - his name was Tom and he recently started a new job down the road. The night went on and we began talking about what we did when we weren't working. I told him I like watching football, and playing before I broke my leg. He told me he used to like farming, especially the machinery like combine harvesters and tractors, until he lost his job because of a nearby farm expanding and buying the plot. A tear dropped from the man's eye and I immediately felt an immense amount of sorrow for him. "I'm sorry" I told him whilst patting him on the shoulder. I promptly ordered another drink for him.

Suddenly thick black smoke burst through the kitchen door, filling the room. Panic ensued around the pub with many women and children screaming in terror. Suddenly Tom stood up calming and took a huge breath. His chest expanded to triple the size and he closed his eyes tightly. In one deep breathe, he swallowed all of the toxic air. He let out a small belch once the air was clear. An audience gathered round and cheered. Tom had saved us!

I asked him where this amazing ability came from. He replied simply with a big grin, "I told you, I'm an ex tractor fan."

I went to the world drinks fair last week.

I went to the World Drinks fair last week, and I got there a bit early.


The supervisor was dashing around everywhere trying to help get booths, tables and queue ropes set up, and I saw someone come up and say a few words to him. I watched this man break down in front of me. He crumpled to the floor and began sobbing uncontrollably. As a good citizen of the earth, I had to try to console him, so I went up and asked him if he was going to be okay. What did he reply?

[answer in comments]

*This is OC so I'm editing the delivery to try and make it roll off better, I'd appreciate feedback. This joke and a few less original ones are gonna get me a girlfriend this new years.*

Hindsight

My girlfriend broke up with me a bit before Christmas. Made things hard but we started talking again and shortly after Christmas things looked good.

By the time New Years came along we found ourselves so preoccupied with each other that we didn’t even realize it was New Year’s Eve and that we both had no plans.

This was all it took for us to know. Exactly at midnight we knew, that we were destined to be with each other.

The clock struck midnight and as it rang out I sat in awe of the joy we were experiencing. I thought to myself, ‘this calls for something!’

I said to my love: ‘If I had 2020 vision about this very moment I’d have brought champagne!’

So anyway, here’s my ad in the personals.

!!/\\//\"Busy shopping"/\\//\!!

It was Christmas Eve. A woman came home to her husband after a day of busy shopping.

Later on that night when she was getting undressed for bed, he noticed a mark on the

inside of her leg. "What is that?" he asked. She said, "I visited the tattoo parlor

today. On the inside of one leg I had them tattoo 'Merry Christmas,' and on the inside

of the other one they tattooed 'Happy New Year.'" Perplexed, he asked, "Why did you do

that?" "Well," she replied, "now you can't complain that there's never anything to eat

between Christmas and New Years!"

A New Years Party Joke

I can’t take credit, my friend told it to me but here’s is my version of the joke:

A couple were on their way to a party, to celebrate the New Year. They pulled up to venue and walked in. They soon met their best friends inside and began to party.

The party was great and the couple were having fun but we’re getting exhausted. They had to go get some refreshments to relieve themselves of their exhaustion. So they walked over to the drink stand to get some beverages. They had their heart set on getting a flavorful drink but it was right then and there that they realized that there was no punch line at the drink cart.

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