Engineering Jokes

Isn't it annoying when engineering students call themselves engineers? It's stupid. You don't hear medical students calling themselves doctors or arts students calling themselves baristas.

As a german I have to ask: You know what really grinds my gears? Nothing. Our engineering is perfect.

I hate it when engineering students refer to themselves as engineers... Like you don't see med students calling themselves doctors or arts students calling themselves unemployed.

Do you know what really grinds my gears? Nothing. I'm German and my engineering is perfect.

As a German, you know what really grinds my gears? Nothing. My engineering is perfect.

I hate it when engineering students call themselves engineers... Like you don't see med students calling themselves doctors or arts students calling themselves unemployed.

It annoys me that Engineering students call themselves engineers.. You don’t hear medical students calling themselves doctors, or art students calling themselves unemployed.

As a German, you know what really grinds my gears? Nothing. Our engineering is flawless.

What’s the engineering term for a one night stand? A nut and bolt.

Don't you just hate it when med students call themselves doctors? I mean you don't see engineering students calling themselves engineers or arts students calling themselves baristas

Whats the difference between engineering and religion? Engineering build planes and buildings. Religion brings them together.

A science graduate asks the question why? A science graduate asks the question why?

An engineering graduate asks the question how?

An arts graduate asks, "Would you like fries with that?"

Four Majors... The science major asks "Why does it work?"

The engineering major asks "How does it work?"

The business major asks "How much will it cost?"

The liberal arts major asks "Do you want fries with that?"

Contrary to popular belief, in Engineering, you do meet tons of women... Just not very many

There are tons of girls in my software engineering class... ...just not very many of them.

As a German, you know what really grinds my gears? Nothing. Our engineering is perfect.

Professor opened with this in first year engineering lecture: What do engineers use for birth control? Their personalities

I hate it when I hate it when engineering students call themselves engineer.
I don't see medical students calling themselves doctor or history students calling themselves unemployed

A person with a science degree asks "why does it work?" A person with an engineering degree asks: "how does it work?" A person with an accounting degree asks: "how much does it cost?" A person with an art degree asks: "do you want fries with that?"

I'm upset. I'm two years into engineering school and... I haven't even started learning how to drive a train

One More For All The Philosophy Majors Out There The Physics major asks: How does it work?

The Engineering major asks: How do you build it?

The Accounting major asks: How much will it cost?

The Philosophy major asks: Do you want fries with that?

I hate when Engineering students call themselves Engineers Like Med students don't call themselves Doctors

And Art students don't call themselves Unemployed

Why do so many Muslim students take Intro to Engineering? They heard it was a great place to find 72 virgins.

Engineering students are always confused by women... ....why do the ones with the most streamlined bodies put up the most resistance?

The problem majoring in Electrical Engineering... is keeping up with Current Events.

My Indian engineering teacher told us this today Growing up in America, you've probably heard your parents say, "Eat your food, there are starving children in India." But I tell my children, "Do your math homework or an Indian child will eat your food."

Isn't it annoying when engineering students call themselves engineers? You dont see medical students calling themselves doctors, or arts students calling themselves baristas

What do you get when you cross a duck and a pig? A media circus that focuses on the morals and ethics of genetic engineering.

My girlfriend wanted me to make her feel like she's the only girl in the world. So I signed her up for Electrical Engineering.

So engineering school is really hard... I'm not doing so hot in thermodynamics.

As a German, do you know what grinds our gears? Nothing. Our engineering is perfect

I was contemplating engineering a newer, more advanced clone of my brain... But then I realized I was getting ahead of myself.

What did Jean-Luc Picard say when Engineering offered to fix his electric sewing machine? Make it sew!

If you're wanting a guy in engineering the odds are good BUT... ... the goods are odd

A science major says "What's it made of?" An engineering major says "How is it made?" An arts major says... "Would you like fries with that?"

Why do people studying engineering get to already call themselves engineers? It is not like that anywhere else.
It is not like people studying science claim that they are already scientists. Or people studying the arts say they are unemployed.

How come there was no damage the night the stars fell on Alabama? Because the state was moved aside. Haven't you heard of Mobile Alabama?

The people responsible for that feat of engineering later brought us Wheeling West Virginia.

What do you call a snake with a degree in engineering? A Boa Constructor

You can major in 5 things in college: science, engineering, business, nursing, or unemployment.