How can you tell the difference between an Indian and African elephant? One of them is an elephant
A joke my 4 year old came up with today...
Him: "What's the only mammal that can breathe under water?"
Me: "I dunno, what?"
Him (loudly): "An elephant sticking his trunk up!"
What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter? Steve. Just because he's irrelephant doesn't mean we don't use his name.
I gave my friend an elephant for his room.
He told me "thank you."
I said "don't mention it."
I have the memory of an elephant. I remember one time I went to the zoo and saw an elephant.
I gave my friend an elephant to put in his room. He said "thanks". I said "don't mention it".
If there is an elephant in the room and nobody notices is it irrelephant?
I bought my friend an elephant for his room... He said, "Thanks". I said, "Don't mention it".
How do you turn a Fox into an Elephant? Marry her.
What's the difference between an African and an Indian Elephant One of them is an elephant
What's my dog's favourite part of the tree?
What's my bank's favourite part of the tree?
What's my elephant's favourite part of the tree?
What's my father's favourite part of the tree?
The leaves :(
Why do you never see an elephant hiding on top of a tree? Because they're good at it.
I bought my friend an elephant for his room
He said: "Thank you."
I said: "Don't mention it."
What's the difference between an Indian and an African elephant? One is an elephant.
Me: How do you get an elephant into a SafeWay bag?
Friend: I don't know how do you.
Me: You take the S out of safe and the f out of way.
Friend: Wait, there's no f in way.
Why do elephants paint their testicles red?
So they can hide in cherry trees.
Ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree?
Shows you it works then.
What's the loudest noise in the jungle?
Monkeys picking cherries.
Why does an elephant have four feet? Because six inches isn't going to satisfy a female elephant.
What has 2 grey legs and 2 brown legs? An elephant with diarrhea...
What do you get when you cross a Kangaroo and an Elephant? A letter from the Scientific Ethics Committee and a withdrawl of your grant money.
What do you get when you mix a rat and an elephant? Who cares? It's a relephant.
A zookeeper spotted a visitor throwing $10 bills into the elephant exhibit…
“Why are you doing that?” asked the keeper.
“The sign says it’s okay,” replied the visitor.
“No, it doesn’t.”
“Yes, it does. It says, ‘Do not feed. $10 fine.’”
Never call a woman fat An elephant never forgets.
What do you get when you cross an elephant with a fish? swimming trunks! :D
How do you turn a fox into a elephant? You marry her!
What's the difference between an Indian and an African elephant? One of them isn't an elephant.
I took a job at a zoo performing elephant circumcisions The benefits aren't great, but the tips are huge.
What did the elephant say to the naked man? "How do you breath through something so small?"
Why do elephants wear green shoes?
So they can sneak across pool tables.
Have you ever seen an elephant sneaking across a pool table?
Works, doesn't it?
I'm getting a tattoo of an elephant on my ear... The only reason I'm doing this is so when people ask me "Why do you have a tattoo of an elephant on your ear?" I can say "Don't worry about it. It's ear elephant."
What do you call a rhinoceros crossed with an elephant? "el' if I know."
How do you get down off an elephant? You don't. You get down off a goose.
What do get if you cross a Kangaroo with an Elephant? A stern letter from the scientific ethics committee.
How come no one cares about Dumbo? Because he is ear elephant
What do you call an elephant that no one talks about anymore? An irrelevant elephant.
What did the elephant say to the naked guy? Pretty impressive, but can it pick up peanuts?
One morning, I shot an elephant in my pajamas...
How he got into my pajamas, I don't know.
- Groucho Marx
I always make jokes about everything, but I won't make a joke about fat people... ...because an elephant never forgets.
What do you call a congested elephant? Junk in the trunk.
The zoo manager asks the vet over the phone
"What can we give to our elephant if it has diarrhea?"
"Space. A lot of space" answered the vet
My girlfriend haa been gaining a lot of weight so I sat her down And said we need to talk about the elephant in the room
What do you call a baby elephant in Spanish? El infant.
What do you get when you put an angry elephant in a camp ground? A trample tentrum.
What do u get when a rhino and a Elephant crosses by Helifino
What do u get when a rhino and a Elephant crosses by
(Hel if I no)
An elephant is sitting in the sauna with a bunch of guys... The elephant takes a look around and asks: “How do you guys eat with those?”
An elephant fell into the swimming poll, how will it come out? Wet
Did you know that an elephant can carry up to nearly 20,000 pounds? I wish I had that kind of money on me.
Why did the elephant paint its toenails red? So it can hide in a cherry tree. Have you ever seen one in a cherry tree? They hide pretty good don't they.
An elephant meets a naked men at the lake "what? This is what you drink with???"
Have you ever seen a Tesla elephant? It has Elong Tusks
Why did the elephant paint it's toe nails red? To hide in the cherry tree.
What Do Elephant And Tomato Have In Common What elephant and tomato have in common is that they're both red, except the elephant.
What do you do when you're on Safari and all of a sudden come across an Elephant?
Wipe it off
What has big ears, brings Easter treats, and goes “hippity-THUD, hippity-THUD, hippity-THUD? The Easter Elephant.
What's the similarity between a giraffe and an elephant?
- I don't know, What ?
-They both start With the letter G
-What? That makes no sense??
-The elephant's name is Greg
What do an elephant and a giraffe have in common? They are both gray except for the giraffe.
How can you tell an elephant is on its period? There's a quarter on your night stand and your mattress pad is missing.
Why did the elephant paints it's toes red? So he could hide in the cherry tree.