Nun Jokes

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Funniest Nun Jokes

Funny Nun Jokes
Score: 778

How do you get a nun pregnant? Dress her up like a choir boy.

Score: 462

Nun joke Two nuns were bicycling down an old dirt road on the countryside. One nun says, "I've never come this way before." The other replies, "It's the cobblestones."

Score: 239

A priest was confronted by a prostitute. "Do want a quickie for ten bucks?"

Not knowing what it was, he said no. When he got back to the monastery, his curiosity got the better of him. So he asked a nun, "what's a quickie?"

The nun replied "Ten bucks same as in town."

Score: 188

My favourite way to dress is all in black. My sense of fashion is second to nun.

I'll show myself out.

Score: 127

Three nuns are sitting on a bench when a naked guy walks past The first nun has a stroke, the second nun has a stroke, but the third nuns arm is just too short to reach

Score: 114

Did you hear about the nun who procrastinated doing her laundry? She had a filthy habit

Score: 113

The word nun is just the letter n... ...doing a forward roll.

Score: 112

What do you call a wheelchair-bound nun who lives high up on a mountain? A) High roller
B) Virgin mobile
C) Nun of the above

Score: 111

How do you get a nun pregnant? You dress her up as an altar boy..

Score: 92

A pair of Scottish nuns were riding in a cab in Edinburgh, and one turned to the other saying, "I've never come this way before." The other nun smiled and said... "Aye, it's the cobblestones."

Score: 90

What do you call a sleepwalking Nun? A Roamin' Catholic

Score: 85

What does a teenager with a lisp and a nun have in common? Faith book

Score: 83

nuns have desires too two nuns were riding their bicycles through the back streets and alleys of rome.

one turns to the other and says, "i've never come this way before".

the other nun says, "it's the cobblestones".

Score: 80

The word "nun" is just the letter "n"... ...doing a somersault.

Score: 76

What do you call a nun that walks in her sleep? A roamin' Catholic.

Score: 72

What do you call a sleepwalking nun ? Roamin' Catholic

Score: 69

What's the difference between a Nun in Church and a Nun in the bath One has Hope in her Soul the other has Soap in her Hole.

Score: 68

I saw a Nun with her clothes inside-out today... I asked her about it, and she said it was *a bad habit of hers*

Score: 67

Two nuns go out for a bike ride They wander through the old part of town.

One nun says, "I've never come this way before."

The other nun says, "It's the cobblestones."

Score: 67

Two nuns are biking down a cobblestone path... ...when one nun says to the other, "I've never come this way before."
The other nun replies, "Must be the cobblestones."

Score: 58

So there are three nuns walking down the street and a streaker runs by... The first nun has a stroke, the second nun has a stroke, but the third, the third nun doesn't touch him.

Score: 50

What's black, white, red, and has trouble going through a revolving door? A nun with a spear through her head.

Score: 49

What do you call a sleepwalking nun… A roamin’ Catholic.

Score: 44

What kinda meat does a priest eat on Friday? nun

Score: 42

What do you call a sleepwalking nun? A roam'n catholic

Score: 41

Two nuns are riding their bikes through some old Roman streets. “I’ve never come this way before," the younger nun says.

The older one replies, "It's the cobblestones."

Score: 41

Three nuns are sitting on a park bench... ...when a man in a trenchcoat walks up and flashes them.

The first nun has a stroke.

The second nun has a stroke.

The third nun couldn't reach.

Score: 40

Three nuns are sitting on a bench when a flasher revealed himself to them. The first nun had a stroke, the second nun had a stroke, and the third nun couldn't reach.

Score: 40

What do you call a sleepwalking nun? A roamin’ Catholic.

Score: 39

How much religious experience does a woman need to be a part of the church? Nun.

Score: 26

What do you call a nun that is going for a walk? A roamin catholic

Score: 25

How many religious people wear black hoods? Nun

Score: 18

Three Nuns Three Nuns are walking down an alley after church.

A man jumps out in a trench coat and exposes himself to them.

The first Nun has a stroke.

The second Nun has a stroke.

But the third Nun doesn't touch him.

Score: 18

If I ask a Catholic sister to work for me as a manager ... Does that make her nun of my business?

Score: 15

So a Nun, a Rabi, a Lion, a Zombie, a Leprechaun, a goldfish, a Space Alien, a pair of Siamese twins, and a blonde walk into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says, "Is this some kind of a joke?"

Score: 9

Have you heard of the nun who never washed her clothes? It was a filthy habit

Score: 5

What do you call a nun that becomes a lawyer? [Not OC] A sister in law.

Score: 4

What do you call a nun who has become a lawyer? A sister in law

Score: 4

A nun sees eight Your words.

Score: 4

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New Nun Jokes

Two nuns were riding their bikes together on their way to church one Sunday. The first nun says to the second nun, "I've never come this way be before".

The second nun says, "Yeah, it's the cobblestone".

Score: 0

A priest is in a bar when a rabbi walks in and says “I have the Coronavirus!” Then a nun walks in and says “so do I!” Then a black dude walks into the bar and robs all three of them.

Score: 0

How do you identify an alcoholic nun? Because of her Wine Habit

Score: 0

I’m trying to make a religious pun, but I’ve got nun.

Score: 0

A man asks a nun what kind of clothes she’s in... A man asks a nun what kind of clothes she’s in.
The nun replies: I’ll tell you, in habit.
Then the man says: Ok, just let me know when you remember.

Score: 0

help me make this into a joke and make it funny. A nun once told me that sometimes I should suck some dicks to be successful. I told her: sorry. I can never suck, sis.

I want to utilise the suck, sis vs success word play. Any ideas.

Score: 1

What did one nun say to the other on her birthday? Let's celibate!

Score: 3

Why did the mailman stop visiting the nun? Because she never put out.

Score: 2

What is black and white, black and white, black and white, then red. A nun falling down the stairs.

Score: 2

A young boy runs up to a nun. Boy: Nun, Nun, Why do you always wear that hood thing.

Nun: It's a habit.

Score: 3

What's difference between a nun in Church and one in Cemetery late night? One is the nun, other is the bus driver.

^Ok, I'm sorry, I'm out.

Score: 2

I spent half an hour trying to come up with original bus driver jokes... ...but unfortunately I could think of nun

Score: 1

What did the nun say when she shot someone with a cannon? "You've just been... Canonised...."

*sunglasses fall to her face from heaven as she magically levitates into space and goes into another dimension where this joke has yet to be told*

Score: 1

What do you call a Nun that's also a lawyer? Sister in law

Score: 3

How much common sense does a catholic church have? Nun.

Score: 1

How many women fits in a monk monastery? Nun.

Score: 2

How much booty does a priest get? Nun.

Score: 2

What do u call a nun In a wheel chair Virgin mobile. XD

Score: 2

I was chatting to this nun So I was chatting to this nun right, asking her about her daily life. So I asked her, "do you wake up, have a cup of coffee and then go to church?"

She replied, "don't be silly, a nun's habits aren't as black and white as that"

Score: 2

A nun was losing sleep over whether or not to take up sewing She heard it could be habit-forming

Score: 2

Did you here about the nun who took up knitting? She was making quite the habit of it.

Score: 4

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