Hilarious Nun Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Nun Jokes

Score: 778

How do you get a nun pregnant? Dress her up like a choir boy.

Score: 462

Nun joke Two nuns were bicycling down an old dirt road on the countryside. One nun says, "I've never come this way before." The other replies, "It's the cobblestones."

Score: 239

A priest was confronted by a prostitute. "Do want a quickie for ten bucks?"

Not knowing what it was, he said no. When he got back to the monastery, his curiosity got the better of him. So he asked a nun, "what's a quickie?"

The nun replied "Ten bucks same as in town."

Score: 188

My favourite way to dress is all in black. My sense of fashion is second to nun.

I'll show myself out.

Score: 127

Three nuns are sitting on a bench when a naked guy walks past The first nun has a stroke, the second nun has a stroke, but the third nuns arm is just too short to reach

Score: 114

Did you hear about the nun who procrastinated doing her laundry? She had a filthy habit

Score: 113

The word nun is just the letter n... ...doing a forward roll.

Score: 112

What do you call a wheelchair-bound nun who lives high up on a mountain? A) High roller
B) Virgin mobile
C) Nun of the above

Score: 111

How do you get a nun pregnant? You dress her up as an altar boy..

Score: 92

A pair of Scottish nuns were riding in a cab in Edinburgh, and one turned to the other saying, "I've never come this way before." The other nun smiled and said... "Aye, it's the cobblestones."

Score: 90

What do you call a sleepwalking Nun? A Roamin' Catholic

Score: 85

What does a teenager with a lisp and a nun have in common? Faith book

Score: 83

nuns have desires too two nuns were riding their bicycles through the back streets and alleys of rome.

one turns to the other and says, "i've never come this way before".

the other nun says, "it's the cobblestones".

Score: 80

The word "nun" is just the letter "n"... ...doing a somersault.

Score: 76

What do you call a nun that walks in her sleep? A roamin' Catholic.

Score: 72

What do you call a sleepwalking nun ? Roamin' Catholic

Score: 69

What's the difference between a Nun in Church and a Nun in the bath One has Hope in her Soul the other has Soap in her Hole.

Score: 68

I saw a Nun with her clothes inside-out today... I asked her about it, and she said it was *a bad habit of hers*

Score: 67

Two nuns go out for a bike ride They wander through the old part of town.

One nun says, "I've never come this way before."

The other nun says, "It's the cobblestones."

Score: 67

Two nuns are biking down a cobblestone path... ...when one nun says to the other, "I've never come this way before."
The other nun replies, "Must be the cobblestones."

Score: 58

So there are three nuns walking down the street and a streaker runs by... The first nun has a stroke, the second nun has a stroke, but the third, the third nun doesn't touch him.

Score: 50

What's black, white, red, and has trouble going through a revolving door? A nun with a spear through her head.

Score: 49

What do you call a sleepwalking nun… A roamin’ Catholic.

Score: 44

What kinda meat does a priest eat on Friday? nun

Score: 42

What do you call a sleepwalking nun? A roam'n catholic

Score: 41

Two nuns are riding their bikes through some old Roman streets. “I’ve never come this way before," the younger nun says.

The older one replies, "It's the cobblestones."

Score: 41

Three nuns are sitting on a park bench... ...when a man in a trenchcoat walks up and flashes them.

The first nun has a stroke.

The second nun has a stroke.

The third nun couldn't reach.

Score: 40

Three nuns are sitting on a bench when a flasher revealed himself to them. The first nun had a stroke, the second nun had a stroke, and the third nun couldn't reach.

Score: 40

What do you call a sleepwalking nun? A roamin’ Catholic.

Score: 39

3 little old nuns are sitting on a park bench when a flasher flashes them the first nun has a stroke,
the second nun has a stroke,
the third nun couldn't reach

Score: 32

How do you get a Catholic nun pregnant? Dress her as a choirboy

Score: 30

How many nuns could a nunchuck chuck if a nunchuck could chuck nuns ? Nun.

Score: 24

What do you call a moving nun? A Roman Catholic

source: LaffyTaffy wrapper

Score: 17

What do you call a nun that works for you? Nun of your business

Score: 17

I swore at a nun the other day... She hit me with her ruler,

It was a measured response.

Score: 15

How many nuns does it take to change a lightbulb? Nun.

Score: 12

What's the difference between a nun and a woman taking a bath? One has hope in her soul.

Score: 12

How does a nun get laid? She dresses up like an altar boy.

Score: 12

How do you get a nun pregnant? Dress her as an alter boy!

Score: 11

New Nun Jokes

I was runner-up in a 10K race benefiting by my local Catholic church. Sister Mary ended up placing first. We spoke after the race and she really complimented my running skills. Such a kind and humble lady. She said my ability was second to nun.

Score: 4

A nun sees eight Your words.

Score: 4

Why did the mailman stop visiting the nun? Because she never put out.

Score: 2

What is black and white, black and white, black and white, then red. A nun falling down the stairs.

Score: 2

What's difference between a nun in Church and one in Cemetery late night? One is the nun, other is the bus driver.

^Ok, I'm sorry, I'm out.

Score: 2

What does a redneck call his nun? Sister Mother

Score: 3

A sister from a local convent became a Certified Public Accountant to help small shop owners manage their finances better. Her title: "Nun of Your Business."

Score: 4

I'll never forget the day I almost beat sister Mary in the 300K The feeling was second to nun

Score: 4

What's the difference between a nun and a woman in the bathtub? One of them has hope in her soul!

Score: 2

Why was the young priest frustrated after spending the night in a convent? He didn't get nun.

Score: 5

How many religious people does it take to change a light bulb? Nun

Score: 2

A Nun and a Parrot Two nuns, a penguin, a man with a parrot on his shoulder, and a giraffe walk into a bar.

The bartender says, “What is this? Some kind of joke?”

Score: 3

When asked what sort of women he would consider sleeping with the pope replied Nun.

Score: 4

What's black and white, red all over, and swings? A nun on a meat hook!

Score: 5

Did you hear about the Nun who go a knock off uniform? She has a bad habit.

Score: 2

How many days off does a women get who has dedicated her life to working for the lord? Nun!

Score: 5

You CAN kiss a nun!!! Just dont get into the habit.

Score: 4

Wanna know how many good religious puns there are? Nun.

Score: 3

Mother Teresa has a secret.. But it's nun of your business!

Score: 6

Why did the nun never wear her uniform? It was a bad habit.

Score: 3

What type of meat would a vegetarian priest eat? Nun

Score: 2

Did you hear about the nun that loved to run around naked? They say she did it out of habit.

Score: 4

How many sacred holy sisters does it take to change a light bulb? nun

Score: 2

What do you call a nun who has become a lawyer? A sister in law

Score: 4

How many girls got married at the Convent? Nun

Score: 8

Q: What goes black and white Black

White

Black

White

Black

White?

A: A nun falling down the stairs.

Q2: What goes green a few days later?

A: The same nun at the bottom of the staircase.

Score: 3

Did you hear about the junkie who beat up a nun? He kicked the habit.

Score: 2

What's something a nun can't shake off? A bad habit!

Score: 2

Of all of the women living in the abbey, how many of them are Protestant? Nun!

Score: 4

Two Nuns sitting on a park bench A flasher comes by and displays his goods .. one Nun had a stroke and the other one couldn't reach.

Score: 4

What do you call a flying nun? Virgin mobile

Score: 6

What are sisters afraid of? Anything nun-threatening.

Score: 2

I went to a church looking for the priest. But I found nun

Score: 2

What do you call a sleepwalking nun? A roaming catholic.

Score: 3

What is a sister working in your company? Nun of your business.

Score: 8

What's red, black, white, and can't get through a revolving door? A nun with a spear through her head.

Score: 4

A kid asked a priest... "Father, besides praying do you have any other pass-time?"

The priest tapped the kids cheek & calmly replied:

"Nun my child, Nun".

Score: 2

Do you have any jokes about churches? Because I have nun

Score: 3

what do you call a nun driving a car? virgin mobile

Score: 4

What did the drunk Scotsman say to the Iraqi nun? "AYEEEE SIS"

Score: 2

Those silly Catholics.... How do you get a nun pregnant??

Dress her up like an alter boy ^.^

Score: 4

What do you call a priest who wears nun's clothing? A transistor

Score: 3

A guy kept calling me sister I was having nun of it

Score: 9

Two nuns are riding bikes to the convent... One says, "I don't think I've come this way before." The other nun goes, "Yeah, it's the cobblestones."

Score: 2

How do you know when a nun is not wearing any panties? There's dandruff on her shoes.

Score: 2

What weapon does a ninja use when he just really don't care.. Nun-Fukks

Score: 5

How much common sense does a catholic church have? Nun.

Score: 1

A priest, a nun and a sailor walks into a bar The bartender says: "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

Score: 5

Have you heard of the nun who never washed her clothes? It was a filthy habit

Score: 5

Three nuns were sitting on a park bench when a flasher walks by The first nun, well, she had a stroke. The second nun, why, she also had a stroke. The third nun didn't touch it.

Score: 4

What kind of meat does a catholic priest eat on Friday? Nun

Score: 2

Why was the nun addicted to meth? Because she had a habit.

Score: 3

How much booty does a priest get? Nun.

Score: 2

Why did the nun never change her clothes? It was a bad habit.

Score: 5

My coworker looked like a nun today I told her she should break the habit

Score: 2

What's black & white and can't turn around in an elevator? A nun with a javelin through her neck.

Score: 3

What do you call a sleepwalking nun? Roaming Catholic.

Score: 1

A newly accepted nun was smoking in her convent when an older nun caught her, The older nun said "you can't smoke in here, it's against our ways"
The new nun replies "sorry, I've just gotten into the habit"

Score: 1

What do u call a nun In a wheel chair Virgin mobile. XD

Score: 2

So a Nun, a Rabi, a Lion, a Zombie, a Leprechaun, a goldfish, a Space Alien, a pair of Siamese twins, and a blonde walk into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says, "Is this some kind of a joke?"

Score: 9