Video Game Jokes

Contents

Funniest Video Game Jokes

My girlfriend just dumped me for talking too much about video games What a ridiculous thing to fallout 4

My girlfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much... What a stupid thing to Fallout 4.

Funny Video Game Jokes

Video games are great, they let you try your craziest fantasies For example, on the sims, you can have a job and a house

A wife asks her husband to sweep the house. After 5 minutes she walks in on him playing video games, "I thought I asked you to sweep the house"

"It's clean", he replies, "I didn't find any hostiles"

Video games let you live out your wildest fantasies. For example sims gives you the chance to have a stable job and own your own home

Video games never made me angry or want to hurt people. Working in customer service already did that.

There’s no way video games cause violence. If they did, school shootings would involve a LOT more tea bagging.

My girlfriend texted me that the relationship cannot continue because I played too much video games. Looks like it was my Destiny 2 break up with her.

What's Han Solo's favorite type of video game? First person shooter.

Video game are cool because they let you experience fantasies. For example, in the Sims, you have a job and a house

TIL the movie Starship Troopers was never adapted into a successful video game because... ...bugs.

Girlfriend: "We're breaking up." Boyfriend: "Why?"

Girlfriend: "You're always playing video games."

Boyfriend: "This is a stupid thing to *Fallout 4*."


All Credit goes to my friend

What video game system do police officers play in their cars? Wii U, Wii U, Wii U...

What is Hitler's favorite video game? Mein Craft.

My brother's doctor says he can no longer play
video games, and he's taking it very hard He's inconsolable

I spent too much money on video games this year. My savings have gone up in Steam.

All these video games with epic orchestral music scores. Those concerned mums were right, there's way too much violins in video games.

What was Hitler's favourite video game? Mein Kraft

If I played video games for 8 hours, I'd be called a loser bum But if I watched TV for 8 hours straight, people would just think I didn't have anything to do that day

Call of Duty is the most environmentally friendly video game franchise. ... because each game is made from 90% recycled material.

My girlfriend just dumped me because I she says I talk too much about video games... ...It's a horribl**e** thing to Fallout 4.

I broke up with my video game console, now it's my ex-box Nothing personal, it was just time for a switch

[OC] What is Hillary Clinton's favorite video game? Super-Pac man.

What is a video game art designer's favorite soft drink? Sprite.

What is Thanos' favorite video game? Half-Life.

They say Hitler was driven to war because of his addiction to video games He was obsessed with Mein Kraft

Did you hear about the new Christian online video game? It's pretty good, but it's pray2win.

If video games make children more violent... why do they keep losing fistfights against me?

My wife left me because "I am addicted to video games".. I was so sad I could hardly console myself

What would a video game about an abortion nurse be called? Womb raider

My girlfriend broke up with me for talking about video games too much... What a stupid thing to Fallout 4.

What is Donald Trump's favorite video game? *Papers, Please*

Video games are like my children. I beat them.

What is Thanos' favourite video game? Half life

I asked my French friend if he likes to play video games. He said, “Wii.”

I was playing video games last night and my son was sitting next to me watching and said "I wish real life was more like video games" So I locked him in his room and told him if he wants access to the rest of the house he will have to pay .99 for the DLC

What did our parents do when they were bored back in the days before the internet or video games? I asked this question to my 24 brothers and sisters too...

Why is Santa Claus so jolly? He knows where all the naughty girls live.

I actually heard this in the video game LA Noire. Thought it was pretty funny so I bust it out every Christmas.

What’s Thanos’s favorite video game? Half life

New Video Game Jokes

What’s Owen Wilson’s favorite video game? WoW.

What's an extreme feminists favorite video game Hitman

A politician sees his son's result....... he says to his son who was playing on his PC "why have you scored such marks? always engrossed in video games. From now on no pocket money for you"

his son takes out a 50$ note from his pocket and asks "is this enough?"

What was Hitler's favourite video game? Meincraft

How do violent video games make you want to kill people? When they're banned

I'm not addicted to video games I just have to play 8 hours a day to stop the shaking and another 4 to stop the nose bleed

I like video games but they're really violent I want a video game where you take care of all the people who've been shot in other games.

"Hey man what are you playing?"

"Super Busy Hospital. It's really tough, this patient has been shot in the head 57 times"

Video game joke. Fallout 76.

People playing video games get so upset when it says "you can't go any further." Geez, people, it's not the end of the world.

I'm working on a Yosemite Sam video game... But it has a lot of Bugs.

I'm planning on making an application that randomly closes the video game you are playing and opens a different one... It's going to be a game changer....

If life was a video game... ...Id return it right away

Wife: Honey, we need to rebuild our relationship. I think you should stop making so many video game puns. Husband: Yeah, that would upupdowndownleftrightleftright be a start.

Why did the pirate not like the old video game with a liberal-leaning political message? It was hard to port

My mom asked me how I can have fun playing video games all the time... I said, "They're actually designed that way."

What is Godzilla's favourite video game? Rampage

The only thing that can stop a bad guy with a gun... Is a good guy with a video game!

What video game did Hitler play before starting WWII? Mein Kraft

Stop blaming the video games for violence. Some of you played Mortal Kombat your whole lives and never learned how to finish her.

I don't want to say video games cause violence... ...but after a month of playing Pong, I beat Rafael Nadal in a best of five match and might be Venus Williams' new baby daddy.

I asked my French friend if he likes to play video games. He said, "Wii."

The day after violent video games became illegal... ...a school was flooded with lava in the world's first mass griefing.

My roommate was playing a video game last night and when he died he completely smashed his keyboard... yeah, he definitely lost Control.

What’s the favorite video game of the North Vietnamese? Viet Pong

Video games cause violence That’s it, that’s the joke

There is no link between violence and video games... But there is a link between violence and lag.

If video games lead to violence Then I would have killed a lot more people than I already have

Somebody once told me the world was gonna roll me Then someone else told me shootings happened because of video games

A Male kangaroo walks into a bar. He orders a scotch and starts talking about the good old days when nobody was on their phones, when video games were for the rich, and the ozone layer was whole. “Ok boomer”

How video games cause mass shootings? They don’t. You idiot.

I actually have sportsmanship in video games. If I know I am going to win I never go for the last kill.

Instead I let my opponent kill me while I twerk in their face.

what's Hitler's favourite video game? meinkraft

Did you hear they have made a new Oregon Trail video games based on Real Madrid FC? I played it yesterday but it keeps saying I died of the 7-3.

I'm breaking up with you Why?

"Because all you ever talk about is video games"

But babe please, this is such a stupid thing to Fallout 4.

French Games I asked a Frenchman if he played video games.

He said, “Wii.”

What was Hitler’s favorite video game? Meincraft

A friend was talking about how her husband acts like a kid and stays in the house all day playing video games due to meningitis .. I told her that’s men in general

A man turns to his French girlfriend and asks... "honey, do you like video games?"


She says, "Wii".

What do you call a weeb that plays video games? Sony-chan

Why do men choose video games over women? Video games can be beaten without legal consequences.

Long Video Game Jokes

Why is everyone criticising EA?

I've only ever known EA as an excellent video game company and pioneer of the early home computer games industry. EA has always had my enjoyment as their primary concern and their community involvement is phenomenal.

($50 has been deposited into your Paypal account, remember to delete this part of the message before posting it).

Interactive joke

There was a man who lived in a 3 story house. **Remember: 3 stories.**

The man entered the house and saw his wife making an omelette. He told her "You're supposed to use butter, not oil." Immediately the wife slapped him and said "Who's cooking? Me or or you?"

The man went up to the second story and saw his son playing a video game. He told him "You're doing it wrong, you're supposed to-" but the son slapped him, saying "Who's playing? Me or you?"

Then he went to the third story and saw his daughter doing homework, and told her "this is the wrong answer" and the daughter slapped him, saying "Who's doing homework? Me or you?"

Finally, the man went up to the fourth story. (At this point, hopefully your listened would say "but you said there were only 3 stories!" at which poing you slap him/her and say "Who's telling the joke? Me or you?")

I was playing video games last night while my son was sitting next to me watching. He said, "dad I wish real life was more like video games."

So I locked him in his room and told him if he wants access to the rest of the house he will have to pay .99 for the DLC.

Three boys were sitting around, talking about stuff they wanted.

The first boy said, "man, I really want a gaming system. I would love to be able to sit around and play video games all the time."

The second boy said, "That would be great, but I want a new bike. I could get to anywhere in town if I had a new bike."

The third boy said, "I really want some tampons."

The other two boys looked at each other, shrugged and asked the third boy, "what's a tampon?"

The third boy said, "I don't know, but I saw a commercial for them the other day, and it said if you have tampons you can go swimming, go horseback riding...."

A young grandson is talking to his grandfather.

"You know grandpa. Our generation is so much better then yours. We have video games, the internet, cell phones and so much cool technology. Your generation didn't have any of that!"

His grandfather replies;
"You're right, we didn't have any of those things around. That's why we had to invent them!"

Did you hear about the kid who was afraid of monsters under the bed?

The kid's parents taught him to call under the bed every night and ask "Are there any monsters down there?". If you don't hear an answer, then you can go to sleep and know that it is safe.

Well, One night his parents went out and he was stuck with a stupid baby sitter. She completely ignored him. So he made cereal for dinner and played video games on the TV till it got late and he was tired.

He went to his room and found his baby sitter just sitting there. She left his room, and he went to bed. He sat puzzled for a moment, because the baby sitter's hair was a mess, and she had a blank look on her face like something had happened. So, he called under the bed and asked, "Are there any monsters down there?"

After a few seconds, a voice answered back "No".

The kid died of fright.

A grandfather went to visit his son's family...

A grandfather went to visit his son's family. When he arrived, he found his nineteen-year-old grandson slumped on the couch, playing video games and surrounded by half-empty bags of chips.

"You're wasting your life!" he said sternly. "By the time I was your age, I'd gone to Paris, went to the Moulin Rouge, drank all night, had my way with the dancers, beat up the bouncers, shat on the bar and left without paying! Now that was living!"

The grandson was amazed. He had never known that his grandfather had had such an eventful youth. He resolved that he would make his something to remember.

A few weeks later, the grandfather visited again. To his horror, he found his grandson slumped on the couch with two black eyes, several missing teeth and an arm in a cast. "My God, son!" he cried. "What on Earth's happened to you?!"

"I did everything you said you did, granddad!" wailed the grandson. "I went to Paris and went to the Moulin Rouge, but when I tried to do what you did, I got thrown out and beaten up in the street!"

"Who did you go with?" asked the grandfather.

"Just some friends," said the grandson. "Why, who did you go with?"

"Oh!" said the grandfather. "The 3rd Panzer Division."

My 11-year-old grandson spent a beautiful

My 11-year-old grandson spent 
a beautiful Saturday playing video games. His older sister tried coaxing him outside by warning, “Someday, you’re going to be 30 years old, single, and living in Mom’s basement playing video games all day!”

His reply: “I can only dream.”

Why do you torture yourself like that?

This isn't quite a joke, but a funny situation that just happened to me.

I walked into the living room to see that my roommate was playing a really old and crappy looking video game that looked like it could be Atari.

So I asked him "Why are you torturing yourself like that, playing these horrible Atari games? You have a Playstation right there!"

To which he replied "Sadomasochism." I shrugged and said "Fair enough."

There was a moment of silence, so he said it louder. "*Sadomasochism*."

I looked at him really weird, said "Whatever" and turned to leave the room, so he said it again -

"Not Atari, Sadomasochism."

It turns out he was saying "Sega Master System" the whole time.

I read on a newspaper about video games...

I was reading a newspaper and i saw an interesting title about video games: “You should not spend more than 5 hours a week playing video games” it said.

At first i thought it meant 5 hours a day but then i realized that i am wrong and it is really saying 5 hours a week.

I decided to make some new changes in my life, so i decided not to read newspaper again.

There was a man who lived in a Three story house.

The man entered the house and saw his wife making an omelette. He told her "You're supposed to use butter, not oil." Immediately the wife slapped him and said "Who's cooking? Me or or you?"

The man went up to the second story and saw his son playing a video game. He told him "You're doing it wrong, you're supposed to-" but the son slapped him, saying "Who's playing? Me or you?"

Then he went to the third story and saw his daughter doing homework, and told her "this is the wrong answer" and the daughter slapped him, saying "Who's doing homework? Me or you?"

Finally, the man went up to the Fourth story.

Once there was a boy named Horos..

Horos grew up in a troubled family. He would go to school every day, then come home at night to a dysfunctional family. He listened to them yell and scream until he feel asleep, then he woke up the next day and did it all again. He always struggled to find something to take his mind off things. He tried books.. He tried video games.. He tried music.. Nothing seemed to ever work. After a few years, Horos discovered something that made him happy. Horos would go out in the middle of the night, and look at the stars.

Thats just how Horoscoped.

A mother walks in on his son playing video games after school.

A mother walks in on her son playing video games after school. Frustrated that he was playing games instead of doing his homework she says, "Do you know who Issac Newton is?". The son, without taking his eyes off the TV screen replies, "No, who is he?" and without missing a beat the mother smirks and says, "If you actually paid attention in school you would know!" "Oh, well, do you know who Angela Smith is?". The mother a little taken back replies, "No, I don't, who is she?". The boy smirks and without also missing a beat goes, "Well if you actually paid attention to dad you would know!"

A husband and wife have just had their first child

After about a month, the couple gets their bill from the hospital. They are shocked to find out the bill is $67,000, and they have no idea how they're going to pay. Among all the line items is a $9,000 charge for something marked only as "Love", which both the husband and the wife are confused about.

They do some research online, and find out that if you call the hospital, sometimes they'll lower your bill if you can prove that you have Financial hardships. The wife calls the hospital, since the insurance is in her name. After about 3 hours of being on hold and speaking to people in billing, she come out of their home office and talks to her husband, who is slightly distracted by playing video games.

She says "I have good news and I have bad news. The good news is, I was able to get them to reduce our bill to $17,000. The bad news is, there's nothing they can do about that $9,000 charge for "Love". I did find out what it was all about, though, apparently that's the label that they give to their charge for an epidural."

The husband, who's only been half listening, says "Wait, I think I missed something. What is "Love"?"

To which the wife replies "So baby don't hurt me"

A man visits his grandchildren after receiving treatment for skin cancer.

When he walks in, the kids hardly raise their heads from the video games they’re playing. He starts to lecture, “When I was your age, I’d be out playing in the sun all day, rather than cooped up in here. Why don’t you get up and get outside?”

One replies, “Ok tumor”.

My 11 year old grandson spent a beautiful Saturday playing video games

My 11 year old grandson spent a beautiful Saturday playing video games. His older sister tried coaxing him outside by warning, “Someday, you’re going to be 30 years old, single, and living in Mom’s basement playing video games all day!”

His reply: “I can only dream.”

[Loong] Big red trike.

A young boy named Jimmy, 5 years old, is looking through the Sears catalog. His birthday is coming up and he wants something great this year. Something *awesome*. So he's flipping through the catalog, going through all the Lego bricks, toy sets, whatever right? Well on the very last page of the section, Jimmy spots his heart's greatest desire. A big red metal trike. You know it. He just can't stop thinking about it. Day in day out, big red trike. Nap time? Big red trike. He asks everyone. He asks his mom, his dad, his brother, his sister, his aunts and uncles, big red trike. Big. Red. Trike. *BIG RED TRIKE*. and eventually his birthday comes around... his parents bring him a big box.. sure enough it has a big red trike in it!! Jimmy is so excited! He rides up the street, down the street, uptown, downtown, EVERY where. Eventually he gets to this big hill. He looks up at this monsterous hill and thinks to himself, "I have a big red trike! I can go anywhere!" So he backs up and gets a little bit of speed, and strains and strains to produce the necessary torque to get going on the hill. He gets about quarter the way up sweating like he's hungover, and the trike snaps into a million pieces flying down the hill with him. Being 5, he obviously is a little hurt. Eventually he gathers himself and remembers his sister lives just down the street from this hill.

*knock knock*

Jimmy's sister answers the door. She is so surprised to see him, wondering why he's on this side of town so late, and asks what's the matter. "My trike broke! I cant get home or anything!" and Jimmy's sister decides, being a nun, to help her little brother out and have him stay for the night since she hasn't seen him in *ages!* So she cooks him supper and prepares the guest room, and tells him his trike will be fixed in the morning. After supper, Jimmy's awfully tired so his sister reads him a bedtime story. "Sister, can you do me another favour?" Jimmy asks, just after the story. "Yes of course Jimmy, what ever you need!" his sister replies. "Well.. i need a big red apple and a piece of strig about a foot long." Jimmy's sister is a reserved type, being in the church she's found no reason to ponder upon other people's business, so she doesn't ask him why, but obliges with his request, and he's off to sleep.

He leaves in the morning on his big red trike.

Lets fast forward a few years. Jimmy's birthday is coming up once more. The big 13. he wants something beefy and powerful. He's looking through the Sears catalog again, and sorts through the usual video games and consoles, eventually coming upon the recreation section. At the end of the section he finds a big red dirtbike. 250cc 4 stroke red dirtbike with flames on the exhaust. Absolutely beautiful. He becomes obsessed with the dirtbike and can't stop thinking about it! Big red dirtbike! Day in, day out. He asks his mother, father, sister, brother, aunts, uncles, he even considered asking God but he knows it doesn't work like that. So Jimmy's excited for this big red dirtbike. He wants to be cool and fit in with his friends.

Well tell ya what, his birthday comes around and he comes home from school to see his parents standing there with that very big red dirtbike he wanted. He's absolutely stunned. He drives it up the trails, down the trails, up town, down town, left and right and center. Eventually, he's at the same spot he remembers from age 5. "I've got a fricken dirtbike, of course I can get up there now!" He thinks, and he revs up, looking fiercely at the hill. He launches off and starts going up the hill, but about halfway up the bike starts vibrating and shaking as he slows down, and the more he hits the throttle the more the bike shakes. Well, it broke into a ton of pieces, and slid down the hill with him. Jimmy's pretty damn upset, but he decides his sister, a pretty handy woman indeed, could be helpful to him. He brings all the pieces and greets her again, gets inside and she tells him "oh why don't you spend two nights this time, I haven't seen you in a few years. And I won't be able to have your dirtbike fixed up until then either. It'd be good to catch up." So Jimmy decides to stay while his sister fixes his dirtbike. Every night, Jimmy asks her for a big red apple, and a piece of string about a foot long. His sister, beginning to be a bit curious, gets a little curious at this strange request. She wonders why he's asking for these items every time he's there. Being a Christian woman, she decides she will not ask him. It's not her place nor her business to ask. She brings him the items, fixes his bike, and two days later he's off on his way riding into the rising sun.

Lets take a look at a few years in the future. Jimmy's 17 and got his license. He wants a nice sweet sports car to cruise around in. Several of his friends have cars and such, he should be able to have something a little better. So he's on the bus one day, and passes the Audi dealership. He spies with his little eye an Audi R8 coupe in all red. Brembo calipers (an aftermarket upgrade, meaning it's a trade in) V10 engine rated at 542 bhp, 400 ft lbs of torque, Audi ventilated discs, the works. He loves this car. He asks everyone to help, his mother, his father, his brother, his sister, he wants this Audi R8. Red audi r8. Red audi r8. Red. Audi. R8.

Well, Jimmy comes home on his birthday, and sitting in the driveway is none other than the red audi r8. He's absolutely stellar. He hops in and goes for a drive. He drives up town, down town, left, right, center, free way, roadway, side streets, he is absolutely amazed at the car. Eventually he winds up at the same hill. "My r8 can handle this. 400 foot pounds of torque! Of course!" So he goes down the road and accellerates with all his might. He gets up to 70 mph and gets headed up the hill. He gets to the top, and finds out he finally did it. He looks towards the bottom of the hill with a feeling of accomplishment. Then bolt by bolt, his Audi R8 falls apart into pieces right before him. Absolutely shocked he rushes all the pieces down the hill to his sister's once again and asks if she could help. Well, she can, but it'll take some time. He hasn't been there for many years and it would be good to catch up! It will take about a week for her to fix it. So he decides to stay there while she works on it. Once again, every night he asks for a big red apple and a piece of string about a foot long. Every night, his sister's curiosity gets stronger and stronger.. until the last night when she finally cracks.

"Jimmy?.."

"Yeah, what is it sister?"

"Well... ive just noticed that youve been asking for the two same strange items.. and I know it's not my place to be nosy, but I'm just curious what you do with the apple and string?.." his sister asks...

Jimmy looks up at her straight in the eye, and answers....

"I guess you'll never know."

I don't think video games are a bad influence on children. I've been playing with my sons on Call of Duty and they seem completely fine.

If anyone wants to add them, they just messaged me their gamertag.

So it's "werapeyourmum"

...I hope I spelt it right. I'm dyslexic, you see.

Such good kids. I wonder what they're going to repay their mum for.

The Safari

Jimmy was an 8-year-old boy who loved animals. He longed to go to a wildlife reserve and experience nature up-close-and-personal. His parents, eager to instill moral values, were delighted that this was the case instead of playing violent video games. So, on his ninth birthday, Jimmy was ecstatic to hear that his parents were taking him on a safari!

On the day before he was due to leave, Jimmy had a playdate with his friends. When their parents came to pick them up, Jimmy's mother wanted to boast about her son's hobby.

"Jimmy," she called, "Come and tell your friend's mother where you're going tomorrow."

Jimmy came running into the foyer. With a grin, he yelled, "We're goin' on a frickin' safari!!!"

The parents, particularly Jimmy's, were horrified.

"Yeah, he's goin' on a frickin' safari!!" his friend said to his mother, equally pleased.

'Where did you learn such language?" one of the parents asked, to which a confused Jimmy replied, "My parents!"

The friends were quickly escorted to their cars, with their parents scolding them. As they left, there were murmurs of "such deplorable behavior" and "what awful parenting". Jimmy's mother and father were dumbfounded. "How could he do this?" they asked. "We've never said such words in our lives! Maybe we really are bad parents."

The next day, on the flight to the preserve, Jimmy boarded the plane, eagerly singing, "We're going on a frickin' safari!" repeatedly. The mother and father looked at each other, and put their arms around Jimmy's shoulders. "Listen, son," they said. "Where did you really hear that word?"

"From you," he said, bewildered.

"Now, why would we ever say that?" they insisted, to which their son replied, "You told it to me on my birthday." They sighed. "Jimmy, look, whether we said it or not, that word is very inappropriate. We love you, and we don't want you getting in trouble."

"Okay," Jimmy said. The rest of the flight was calm and quiet.

When they finally arrived, Jimmy rushed out of the plane. "Yay!" he exclaimed rushing toward the safari park, located near the airport. His parents ran to catch up with him, only to find on the front signpost~

**African Safari**

A teenage dream

My 11-year-old grandson spent 
a beautiful Saturday playing video games. His older sister tried coaxing him outside by warning, “Someday, you’re going to be 30 years old, single, and living in Mom’s basement playing video games all day!”

His reply: “I can only dream.”