Contents
Funniest Jokes
New Jokes
Funniest Santa Jokes
How much does Santa's sleigh cost? $0, it's on the house.
My wife just told me that in 9 months, I’m in for a big surprise... I can’t wait for Santa to come now!!
I remember as a child, lying in bed waiting for Santa to come... Then there was always that awkward silence as he got dressed and left.
Santa and Mrs. Claus have decided to break up
However, finding a divorce lawyer at the North Pole is next to impossible, so instead they got a semicolon.
They're great at separating independent Clauses.
There are no divorce courts at the North Pole,
so when Santa and his wife wanted to split up, they got a semicolon.
They're great for separating independent Clauses.
What ethnicity is Santa? North Poleish
Why is Santa Claus always so Jolly? He knows where all the naughty girls live.
Did you hear about the goth kid with dyslexia? He sold his soul to Santa.
How come Chinese kids don’t believe in Santa? Because they’re the one who make the toys.
A boy wrote Santa: "please send me a sister". Santa wrote back: "Alright, send me your mother".
My girlfriend left me 6 weeks ago because she thinks I'm immature. Now I'm all alone on Christmas day and crying my eyes out because Santa didn't come.
What do Bill Cosby and Santa Claus have in common? They don't come until you're asleep.
Why don't chinese kids believe in Santa Claus? Because they make the toys.
What's the difference between Santa Claus and the Jews? The way they traveled through the chimney.
I would like to be Santa Claus He knows where all the naughty girls live.
Why is Santa's sack so big? He only comes once a year
What does Bill Cosby and Santa Claus have in common? You have to be asleep or they can't come.
How does Santa know if he lands on a Jewish house? There's a parking meter on the roof.
Why doesn't Santa have any kids?.... Because he only comes once a year, and when he does it's down the chimney.
Christmas always sucked when I was a kid... I believed in Santa Claus, and unfortunately, so did my parents.
What's the difference between Santa Claus and the Jews? Santa goes *down* the chimney.
When I was a child, I remember lying in bed with my eyes closed and waiting for Santa to come... Then crying myself to sleep as he put his clothes back on and left.
What do Bill Cosby and Santa Claus have in common? They both come when you're alseep.
4 stages of life....
1) You believe in Santa.
2) You don't believe in Santa.
3) You are Santa.
4) You look like Santa.
The reason why Santa is so jolly ...is he knows where all the bad girls live.
4 stages of life
1. You believe in Santa
2. You don´t believe in Santa
3. You are Santa
4. You look like Santa
What do you call a guy who is afraid of Santa? Claustrophobic!
Why is Santa so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
Why is Santa's sack so full? Because he only comes once a year
Why does Santa have the best job in the world? He knows where all the naughty girls live
Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper? He sold his soul to santa.
Who did Santa approach when he wanted to get a divorce? The Semi colon. They're good at separating independent clauses.
What do Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common? They only come if you're sleeping.
A boy told his teacher he wanted to be Santa.
"Why so? It seems like a lot of work." said the teacher.
"Because Santa knows where all the naughty girls live."
Why doesn't Santa have any millennial elves? Because there are already enough snowflakes at the North Pole.
What does Bill Cosby have in common with Santa? They both come while you sleep
What does Santa Claus and Michael Jackson have in common? They both leave little boys rooms with lighter sacks.
I remember laying in bed as a child waiting for Santa Claus to come.... Then there was always that awkward silence afterwards as he put his pants on and left.
What's the difference between Santa and Tiger Woods? Santa stopped at 3 Ho's