Airplane Jokes


Funniest Airplane Jokes





Edit: Wow, this really took off.

Score: 2404

Just asked Siri. "Surely it's not going to rain today?"

She said "it will, and don't call me Shirley"

...Forgot to take my phone off Airplane mode.

Score: 2129

The sky above looked ominous, so I asked Siri, "Surely, it's not going to rain again today?!" It replied, "It is and don't call me Shirley!"

Guess I forgot to take my phone off Airplane mode…

Score: 1928
Funny Airplane Jokes
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My phone fell from the 20th floor, good thing it was in airplane mode.

Score: 1190

What do we want? Low flying airplane noises!

When do we want them?


Score: 1101

What sound does an airplane make when it bounces off the ground? Boeing.

Score: 698

“What do we want?!” “Low flying airplane noises!”

“When do we want em?”


Score: 657

What do we want?! Low flying airplane noises!

When do we want them?!


Score: 575

Why did the Muslim take his Note 7 onto an airplane? Do I really have to answer that? Who doesn't bring their phone with them when they travel?

Score: 565


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Did you know that an airplane's propeller is only a big fan and is there to keep the pilot cool? Don't believe me?

Turn it off, and see how much the pilot sweats!

Score: 443

How do you blow up a Muslim's iPhone? Put it into airplane mode.

Score: 427

A passenger, in panic, asked if the airplane was going the right way To which Yoda responded, “off course, we are.”

Score: 357

What do we want?! LOW FLYING AIRPLANE NOISES! When do want them?!

Score: 304

If 2 wrongs DID make a right... You'd need 4 wrongs to invent an airplane.

Edit: Thanks for front page c:

Score: 304

I asked Siri " surely it isn't going to rain tomorrow" and he replied " yes it is, and don't call me Shirley"...turns out I left airplane mode on

Score: 294

How do you blow up a Muslim's phone? Put it on airplane mode.

Score: 225

Did you hear about the cow who gambled on an airplane? The steaks couldn't have been higher.

Score: 219

An airplane yells at his rebellious son... .. "Watch that altitude, young man"

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Two blondes are having a conversation... Do you know that the black box of an airplane is actually orange!

The other respond:

OMG! So, it's not a box?!?

Score: 122

A Muslim enters a building Along with 500 passengers and an airplane.

Score: 106

An asian asks for help at an airport... Asian: "why is my plane late? It said it would be here at 6:30."

Airplane help guy: "fluctuations."

Asian: "fluck you americans too."

Score: 105

What do we want? Low flying airplane noises! When do we want it? Nnnneeeeeeoooooooowwwew

Score: 105

I asked Siri a question and she said, “Don’t call me Shirley.” I must have left the phone in Airplane mode.

Score: 103

What do we want? Airplane sounds! When do we want them? Neeeeaaaowwww!

Score: 96

I just asked Siri "Surely it's not going to rain today?". Siri replied "It is, and don't call me Shirley." I forgot to take my phone off airplane mode

Score: 94

If a female fighter pilot shoots down a lot of enemy airplanes, she might plausibly be called a heroine. But if she shoots up a lot of heroin, she will probably not be called an enemy airplane.

Score: 85

Two Wrongs Don't Make A Right But two Wrights make an airplane

Score: 84

What do an airplane and a girl have in common? A cockpit

Score: 41

I tried to board an airplane recently Turns out they get nervous when your carry-on is a parachute

Score: 11

You know how to make an Arabian phone explode? Put it on airplane mode.

Score: 10

What do we need? Low-flying airplane jokes. When do we need them? NYEEOOOWWW !

Score: 10

Y'know I have been trying to make this complicated airplane joke But I think it'll just go over your head.

Score: 4

A model was walking down the runway... She got hit by an airplane.

Score: 4

What do a fake blonde and a airplane have in common? They both have a black box

Score: 4

I was on an airplane yesterday when the gorgeous flight attendant asked me, "Would you like some headphones?" I replied, "Yes please and how did you know my name is phones!?"

Score: 3

Siri annoyed me all morning. She kept calling me Shirley. Then I remembered I left my phone on airplane mode.

Score: 3

So I tried airplane mode for the first time. But when I threw my phone, it didn't fly.

Score: 3

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New Airplane Jokes

What do you call a plane on the ground? Not an airplane.

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What's the deal with airplane drugs? They make you too high

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Everyone knows 2 wrongs don't make a right, but what does 2 rights make? An airplane

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What do you call a black person piloting an airplane? A pilot!

What, you thought I was gonna say something else? You dumb racist.

Score: 2

I’d like to die like my grandfather died: peacefully in my sleep... ...not like his airplane passengers, screaming as his plane crashed into the mountainside.

Score: 2

How does an english airplane breathe? Through its british airways, of course

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So I got arrested on an airplane recently So I saw a friend I hadn’t seen for a very long time, but apparently the flight crew don’t like it when you yell "Hi Jack” at the top of your lungs.

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What did the Islamic mom say when she fed her twins? Here comes the airplane!

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Why couldn't the fiddle player bring his instrument on an airplane? The TSA wants to prevent unchecked violins.

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Why could the inventors of the airplane not gave had asian parents? Because everyone knows two Wongs don't make a Wright.

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Did you hear about that airplane that mixed all those people around the cabin like a blender? That flight was not smoothie

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Today an airplane crashed into a local cemetery Detectives on scene say that thousands of bodies have been recovered.

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