Airplane Jokes


Funniest Airplane Jokes





Edit: Wow, this really took off.

Score: 2404

Just asked Siri. "Surely it's not going to rain today?"

She said "it will, and don't call me Shirley"

...Forgot to take my phone off Airplane mode.

Score: 2129

The sky above looked ominous, so I asked Siri, "Surely, it's not going to rain again today?!" It replied, "It is and don't call me Shirley!"

Guess I forgot to take my phone off Airplane mode…

Score: 1928
Funny Airplane Jokes
Score: 1380

My phone fell from the 20th floor, good thing it was in airplane mode.

Score: 1190

What do we want? Low flying airplane noises!

When do we want them?


Score: 1101

What sound does an airplane make when it bounces off the ground? Boeing.

Score: 698

“What do we want?!” “Low flying airplane noises!”

“When do we want em?”


Score: 657

What do we want?! Low flying airplane noises!

When do we want them?!


Score: 575

Why did the Muslim take his Note 7 onto an airplane? Do I really have to answer that? Who doesn't bring their phone with them when they travel?

Score: 565


Score: 471

Did you know that an airplane's propeller is only a big fan and is there to keep the pilot cool? Don't believe me?

Turn it off, and see how much the pilot sweats!

Score: 443

How do you blow up a Muslim's iPhone? Put it into airplane mode.

Score: 427

A passenger, in panic, asked if the airplane was going the right way To which Yoda responded, “off course, we are.”

Score: 357

What do we want?! LOW FLYING AIRPLANE NOISES! When do want them?!

Score: 304

If 2 wrongs DID make a right... You'd need 4 wrongs to invent an airplane.

Edit: Thanks for front page c:

Score: 304

I asked Siri " surely it isn't going to rain tomorrow" and he replied " yes it is, and don't call me Shirley"...turns out I left airplane mode on

Score: 294

How do you blow up a Muslim's phone? Put it on airplane mode.

Score: 225

Did you hear about the cow who gambled on an airplane? The steaks couldn't have been higher.

Score: 219

An airplane yells at his rebellious son... .. "Watch that altitude, young man"

Score: 209



Score: 176

Two blondes are having a conversation... Do you know that the black box of an airplane is actually orange!

The other respond:

OMG! So, it's not a box?!?

Score: 122

A Muslim enters a building Along with 500 passengers and an airplane.

Score: 106

An asian asks for help at an airport... Asian: "why is my plane late? It said it would be here at 6:30."

Airplane help guy: "fluctuations."

Asian: "fluck you americans too."

Score: 105

What do we want? Low flying airplane noises! When do we want it? Nnnneeeeeeoooooooowwwew

Score: 105

I asked Siri a question and she said, “Don’t call me Shirley.” I must have left the phone in Airplane mode.

Score: 103

What do we want? Airplane sounds! When do we want them? Neeeeaaaowwww!

Score: 96

I just asked Siri "Surely it's not going to rain today?". Siri replied "It is, and don't call me Shirley." I forgot to take my phone off airplane mode

Score: 94

If a female fighter pilot shoots down a lot of enemy airplanes, she might plausibly be called a heroine. But if she shoots up a lot of heroin, she will probably not be called an enemy airplane.

Score: 85

Two Wrongs Don't Make A Right But two Wrights make an airplane

Score: 84

What do we want... Low flying airplane noise

When do we want them


Score: 51

An unfortunate business idea I once started a restaurant inside an airplane that was no longer functional. Sadly, it never took off.

Score: 40

An airplane yells at his son "If you don't get an attitude adjustment immediately you're going to get grounded."

Score: 35

If two wrongs don't make a right, then what do two rights make? An airplane.

Score: 31

How do you call a bouncy airplane? A Boing.

P.S. I came up with this on my own, yet have a feeling it mist've been here already, so please tell me if it's a repost. Thanks!

Score: 30

What sound does an airplane make when it bounces on a trampoline? Boeing

Score: 17

I have a new idea for airplane design. I'm hoping it'll take off.

Score: 16

Things that keep doctors away: 1: apples

2: assault by airplane staff

Score: 14

I tried to board an airplane recently Turns out they get nervous when your carry-on is a parachute

Score: 11

What do we need? Low-flying airplane jokes. When do we need them? NYEEOOOWWW !

Score: 10

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New Airplane Jokes

What's the deal with airplane drugs? They make you too high

Score: 0

Everyone knows 2 wrongs don't make a right, but what does 2 rights make? An airplane

Score: 0

What do you call a black person piloting an airplane? A pilot!

What, you thought I was gonna say something else? You dumb racist.

Score: 2

Siri annoyed me all morning. She kept calling me Shirley. Then I remembered I left my phone on airplane mode.

Score: 3

Y'know I have been trying to make this complicated airplane joke But I think it'll just go over your head.

Score: 4

What do a fake blonde and a airplane have in common? They both have a black box

Score: 4

What do you get when you mix an accountant with a giant jet airplane? A Boring 747.

Score: 6

My grandfather was an airplane pilot I hope when I die I die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather did and not screaming like his 420 passengers.

Score: 2

I yelled “Hi Jack!” To my friend across the airplane Security must not like shouting because they wouldn’t let me fly after that

Score: 2

How does an english airplane breathe? Through its british airways, of course

Score: 2

Melania is flying in an airplane She calls for the stewardess

"Please check why my phone's data connection is not working"

"Ma,am we are flying at 36000 feet, how do you suppose it can work?"

"But it should work, my phone has an airplane mode"

Score: 2

Cow 1: Hey are you worried about getting mad cow disease? Cow 2: Why would I.. I'm an airplane?

Score: 3

What do an airplane and a fake blonde girl have in common? They both have a black box.

Score: 3

My grandma was not allowed to bring her knitting needles on the airplane. They were worried she might knit an afghan.

Score: 5

Why couldn't the fiddle player bring his instrument on an airplane? The TSA wants to prevent unchecked violins.

Score: 1

Do you know why the ISIS guys dont use airplane mode in their phones? Because it crashes

Score: 1

Two Cows Standing In A Field... One cow says to the other, "Aren't you worried about getting mad cow disease?" The other says "Why would I be? I'm an airplane!"

Score: 4

Have you heard about the new pub that's inside an airplane? They're really raising the bar.

Score: 2

I put my phone on airplane mode. Now it won't stop calling me Shirley.

Score: 4

Why did the airplane builder love his job? Because every day was riveting.

Score: 8

Why could the inventors of the airplane not gave had asian parents? Because everyone knows two Wongs don't make a Wright.

Score: 0

I accidentally dropped my phone from the 4th floor Luckily it did not break because it was on airplane mode.

Score: 3

*My iPhone on Airplane mode* Me: Siri, surely it must rain today

Siri: It won't and don't call me Shirley

Score: 6

A man sued an airplane company for misplacing his luggage. He lost his case.

Score: 6

What do you call 30 lawyers jumping out of an airplane? A: Skeet

Score: 2

If i was caught fapping in an airplane.... Am i highjacking???

Score: 10

What do we want? Low flying airplane noises!

When do we want em?


Score: 3

Two blondes talking "Did you know airplane's black box is orange"
"What, you're saying it's not a box?"

Score: 2

Airplane Humor I'm reading a book about a man who stopped an airplane from crashing.

It's pretty uplifting.

Score: 3

Yo momma's so tasteless She could be served on an airplane.

Score: 8

"What do we want?" "Low flying airplane noises!"
"When do we want them?"

Score: 9

What did the airplane say to the ground when it crashed? Boeing

Score: 8

Did you hear about that airplane that mixed all those people around the cabin like a blender? That flight was not smoothie

Score: 1

What is the most attractive seat on an airplane? 6C

Score: 4

"Airplane" might have not been a very good flight... but at least they let the doctor on the plane.

Score: 1

I put my phone on airplane mode Then it flew away.

Score: 5

What do you call a group of close friends doing cocaine in an airplane? UNITED AIR-LINES

Score: 3

So i was playing airplane with my kids My wife yelled at me and told me to stop dragging them across the floor.

Score: 2

Did you hear about the mother who gave birth in an airplane? The baby was air-born.

Score: 3

I used to own a restaurant that served only airplane meals. It never really took off.

Score: 1

I broke my phone recently. I threw it out the window after turning on airplane mode. Worst transformer ever.

Score: 10

I have this great airplane joke... But I'm afraid it'll just go over your head.

Score: 4

Siri So I asked Siri what movies were playing at the local cinema.

Siri said, "Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?"

Turns out my phone was in airplane mode.

Score: 1

I put my Phone on Airplane Mode and threw it up in the air. The results were groundbreaking.

Score: 1

What do you call an airplane with its own library? A fully-booked flight

Score: 2

Why, with twice the population of the United States at the time didn't China invent the airplane first? Well, two Wongs don't make a Wright.

Score: 7

I need an airplane joke And I need it right neeeeeeoooow.

Score: 1

What do you say to an airplane when it gets mad? Cool your jets.

Score: 3

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