Dental Jokes

Contents

Funniest Dental Jokes

Why are redneck murders so hard to solve? There's no dental records and all the DNA matches

Funny Dental Jokes

Why are redneck murders so hard to solve? All the DNA matches and there are no dental records.

Why are redneck murders so hard to solve? Because there are no dental records and their DNA is all the same.

Why are redneck murders the hardest to solve? All the DNA matches and there's no dental records.

Edit: made it to the hot page, my dad would be so proud, if only he knew who i was

Two reasons why it’s hard to solve a Redneck murder 1. The DNA all matches
2. There are no dental records

Why does West Virginia have so many unsolved murders? There are no dental records and all the DNA is the same.

What are two reasons it's so hard to solve a redneck murder? 1. The DNA all matches.
2. There are no dental records.

Why are redneck murder cases the hardest to solve? Because all the DNA matches and there are no dental records.

Redneck murders are hard to solve There are no dental records and the DNA is all the same.

My Dad has the heart of a lion and so much hate mail he had to shut down his dental practice

I once dated a dental hygienist She had the whitest teeth I ever came across.

Redneck murders are hard to solve. Never any dental records and all the DNA's the same.

Why are redneck murders so hard to solve? There are no dental records and all the DNA is the same.

Why are redneck murders so difficult to solve? There are no dental records and all the DNA matches.

Redneck murders are hard to solve.. There's no dental record and the DNA is all the same.

Why are Redneck murder victims so hard to identify? There are no dental records...

why can't you solve a redneck crime because there are no dental records and all the DNA is the same

Got this from my dad tonight...You know why they don't have CSI in Arkansas? They don't have enough teeth for dental records, and they all have the same DNA.

Did you know I'm dating a dental hygienist? She has the cleanest teeth I've ever come across.

Why are redneck murders hard to solve? No dental records and the DNA is all the same.

Why is it so hard to solve a redneck murder? All the bloods the same and there are no dental records

What do you call dental X-rays? Tooth pics

Why are murders so hard to solve in Alabama? There are no dental records and all the DNA is the same.

Why can't redneck murder mysteries be solved? Because all the DNA is the same and there are no dental records.

Why are red neck murders so hard to solve? All the DNA samples match and there are no dental records

Why are even the best forensic teams unable to catch hillbilly criminals? Because they all share the same DNA and there are no dental records.

Why are redneck murder victims so hard to identify? Everybody's DNA is the same and there are no dental records.

Why are redneck murders so hard to solve? Because none of them have dental records and all of their DNA is the same

My roommate is really dedicated to dental hygiene just last night I heard her using an electric toothbrush for what seemed like an hour

Why are redneck crimes so hard to solve... Because everyone has the same DNA and there are no dental records.

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Not original, I heard it on satellite radio yesterday.

Do you know why there was no CSI Alabama? Hard to write a plot when everyone around has no dental records and a matching DNA.

Why are redneck murders so hard to solve? Because all the DNA matches and there's no dental records.

Did you hear about the guru who refused to let the dentist use Novocain to numb his mouth? The guru said he wanted to transcend dental medication

A guy walks into a dental office... and he says to the dentist, "I think I'm a moth."

The dentist says "Well you should see a psychiatrist!"

The man replies "I already am."

So the dentist asks, "Well what are you doing here then?"

The man says "your light was on."

Did you hear about the Buddhist monk who refused anesthesia for his root canal? He wanted to transcend dental medication.

why did the Hindu deny the dentist use of Novocain? He wanted to transcend dental medication.

So they were going to make a new CSI tv show in West Virginia... But they had to scrap production when they realized there were no dental records and all the DNA was the same.

My mom was always obsessed with dental hygiene... ...she would always take her electric toothbrush to bed and brush her teeth all night!

What’s brown and very bad for your dental health? A baseball bat.

Popular Topics

New Dental Jokes

2020 has been a great year for me, personally. My dental hygiene is better than ever! I got tired of smelling my own breath through this damn MASK!

Do you know why it's so hard to solve a redneck murder? Because the DNA is all the same and there's no dental records.

did you hear about the buddhist who refused novocain during a root-canal? he wanted to transcend dental medication.

Why are redneck murder victims the hardest to identify? Because there are never any dental records

Redneck Murders?! Why are redneck murders the hardest to solve???

All the DNA matches and there are no dental records

Did you hear about the Buddhist monk who refused novocaine? He wanted to transcend dental medication

Who decided to call it a dental xray and not a tooth pic?

My dental hygienist is so hot I eat a full box of oreos in the waiting room before having her clean my teeth.

Blizzard Entertainment will need to stop offering Dental benefits All their employees are way too afraid to open their mouths

Why are there hardly any dental professionals in Arkansas? Because it takes 35 patients to make a full set of teeth

Why don't murders get solved in Alabama Because there are no dental records, and everyone's DNA matches.

Jean I once knew a dental nurse who loved giving blowjobs and smoking weed.

She was known as oral high Jean.

Another joke Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocaine during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

Why did the monk refuse Codine at the dentist? Because he wanted to transcend dental medication.

Why did the guru refuse novocaine at the dentist? He wanted to transcend dental medication.

Why are murders so hard to solve in Alabama? There are no dental records and all the DNA matches.

Person A: "Don't mess with me, I have a lawyer on retainer!" Person B: "I'll do what I want. You and your cheap lawyer don't scare me. I'll just hire a more expensive lawyer, one that doesn't need any dental work!"

What do you call a Gungan with bad dental hygiene? Tartar Binks

I asked my girlfriend to roleplay as a doctor, and she said "Great idea! How about I start with a full cavity search?" She opened my mouth and started to poke at my teeth with a metal dental scraper.

Had my wisdom teeth removed and the doc wrote me a script for oxys The percs of dental surgery

An old lady walks in to see the dentist and starts pulling down her pants. The dentist, stunned, says, “Ma’am! I’m sorry! But this is a dental office!” The woman says, “I know! My husband needs his teeth back.”

Congress announced today they would be removing all crime lab budgets from the state of Alabama Because crimes can’t be solved there since everyone has the same DNA and there are no dental records.

I know my dentist loves golf, but I still hate his approach with that dental drill... "GET IN THE HOLE!!!"

Hillbilly murders are the hardest to solve They don’t have dental records and all their DNA is the same.

Why is it so hard to solve a redneck crisis murder? They have no dental records and they all have the same DNA...

Why is it so hard to solve a murder in a trailer park? Because the DNA evidence is all the same and there are no dental records

Why are murders so hard to solve in Tennessee? Because there are no dental records and the DNA is all the same.

What is another name for a dental assistant? A flossitute.

A dental doctor with patient A woman says to the dentist "I don't know which is worse having a tooth pulled or having a Baby." The dentist says "Well make up your mind I gotta adjust the chair!"

What do you call a dental x-ray? Tooth pics!

What do you call dental work you get while on vacation on an indian reservation? Sioux-veneers

A swami needed his teeth fixed, but refused Novocaine. He wished to transcend dental medication.

Do you know why dead rednecks are so hard to identify? Because there's no dental record and all their DNA is too similar

[OC] If you ever feel like you need drugs during dental surgery... ...just say NO.

Went to the Indian reservation to get some dental work done... Ended up just buying some Sioux veneers

How do you render a Chinese man blind? Put dental floss over their eyes.

What's the difference between a psychologist and a dentist? One treats mental disorders... and the other treats dental mis-orders.

What is a dental hygienist's favorite subject? Flossophy.

Monk at the Dentist Did you hear about the Buddhist monk who refused Novocain during a root canal?

He wanted to transcend dental medication.

Why did the Buddhist refuse Novocain during his root canal work? He wanted to transcend dental medication.

Popular Topics

Long Dental Jokes

A man went to the dental surgeon to have a tooth pulled

The dentist pulls out a freezing needle to give the man.

“No way! No needles! I hate needles!” the patient said.

The dentist starts to hook up the laughing gas and the man again objects.

“I can’t do the gas thing – the thought of having the gas mask on is suffocating to me!”

The dentist then asks if the man has any objection to taking a pill.

“No,” the patient says, “I am fine with pills.”

The dentist then returns and says, “Here is a Viagra tablet.”

The patient says, “Wow – I didn’t know Viagra worked as a pain pill.!”

“It doesn’t,” said the dentist and continued:

“But it will give you something to hold onto when I pull out your tooth.”

As the result of an accident, a man lost teeth and had to have a partial plate made.

His dentist built a standard dental plate and fitted it into his mouth and it worked just fine.

In three months, the man was back at his dentist. The dentist looked in his mouth, and the plate he had just put in was so deteriorated it was beyond repair.

The dentist was shocked that it had only lasted three months, so he constructed a new plate and had stainless steel used as the basis.

But again in about three months the patient was back, and the stainless steel plate was corroded and failing.

This time he had the plate made with titanium, but once more it only lasted a matter of months before deteriorating beyond repair.

Totally baffled, he sent the patient to a dental professor known to be an expert in the construction of dental plates to see if he could solve this puzzle.

The professor examined his mouth and quizzed the man about his dental hygiene and diet. "There must be something very acidic that you eat a lot of." The dentist said.

"To tell the truth," the man replied, "My wife makes the absolute best hollandaise sauce in the world. I put it on everything."

"Aha!" The professor exclaims. "Have your dentist make you a new plate out of chrome and you shouldn't have any more problems!"

"Chrome?" The patent asks. "Why chrome?"

"Because," the dentist replies, "There's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise!"

That wasn't very punny now was it?

...A guy goes into a nice restaurant bar wearing a shirt open at the collar and is met by a bouncer who tells him he must wear a necktie to gain admission. So the guy goes out to his car and he looks around for a necktie and discovers that he just doesn't have one. He sees a set of jumper cables in his trunk. In desperation he ties these around his neck, manages to fashion a fairly acceptable looking knot and lets the ends dangle free. He goes back to the restaurant and the bouncer carefully looks him over for a few minutes and then says, "Well, OK, I guess you can come in -- just don't start anything."

...This mushroom walks into a bar and starts hitting on this woman... She, of course, turns him down. Not willing, to give up, he pleads with her... "C'mon lady, I'm a fun guy..."

...This horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "Hey, buddy, why the long face...

...These two strings walk upto a bar... The first string walks in and orders and the bartender throws him out and yells "I don't serve strings in this bar... The other string ruffs himself up on the street and curls up and orders... The bartender shouts, Hey, didn't you hear what I told your buddy?" String says "Yeah." Bartender says, "aren't you a string?" ... String says, "No, I'm a frayed knot..."

...This grasshopper walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" The grasshopper replies "Really? You have a drink named Steve?!"

...This baby seal walks into a bar and the bartender says,"What'll ya have..." The seal says, "Anything but a Canadian Club...

...This skeleton walks into a bar and says, "I'd like a beer and a mop..."

...A man walked into a bar and sat down next to a man with a dog at his feet. "Does your dog bite?" he asked. "No." A few minutes later the dog took a huge chunk out of the man's leg. "I thought you said your dog doesn't bite!" he said indignantly. The other guy replied, "That's not my dog."

...A neutron walks into a bar. "I'd like a beer" he says. The bartender promptly serves up a beer. "How much will that be?" asks the neutron. "For you?" replies the bartender, "no charge"

...Descartes walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "Would you like a beer?" Descartes replies "I think not" and POOF! he vanishes...

...A three legged dog walks into a bar and says, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw..."

...A hamburger walks into a bar, and the bartenders says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve food here..."

...A termite walks into a bar and says, "Is the bar tender here?"

...A snake slithers into a bar and the bartender says, "I'm sorry but I can't serve you." "Why not?" asks the snake. The bartender says, "Because you can't hold your liquor..."

...Baby seal walks into a club... what a tragedy...

...A guy walks into a bar. "OUCH!" he said...

...Two peanuts walked into a bar, and one was a-salted...

...Two vampires walked into a bar and called for the bartender. "I'll have a glass of blood," said one. "I'll have a glass of plasma", said the other. "Okay," replied the bartender, "that'll be one blood and one blood lite..."

...Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, 'I think I've lost an electron.' The other says 'Are you sure?' The first says, 'Yes, I'm positive...'

...Two cartons of yogurt walk into a bar. The bartender, a tub of cottage chesse, says to them, "We don't serve your kind in here." One of the yogurt cartons says back to him, "Why not? We're cultured individuals."

...a man walked into a bar, sat down, and ordered a beer. As he sipped the beer, he heard a soothing voice say "nice tie!" Looking around he noticed that the bar was empty except for himself and the bartender at the end of the bar. A few sips later the voice said "beautiful shirt." At this, the man called the bartender over,"Hey...i must be losing my mind," he told the bartender. "I keep hearing these voices saying nice things, and there's not a soul in here other than us." "It's the peanuts" answered the bartender. "Say what?" "You heard me" said the barkeep."it's the peanuts... they're complimentary."

...Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused his dentist;s Novocain during root canal work because he wanted to transcend dental medication.

...Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak got chilly so they lit a fire in the craft but it sank proving once and for all you can't have your kayak and eat it too.

...Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina; one went to Hollywood and became a famous actor while the other stayed behind in the cotton fields never amounting to much and became known as the lesser of two weevils.

...There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping at least one of the puns would win but, unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

...A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One goes to a family in Egypt and is named Amahl while the other goes to a family in Spain and is named Juan. Years later Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother and upon receiving the picture she tells her husband she wishes she also had a picture of Amahl. "But they're twins," says her husband, "If you've seen Juan you've seen Amahl."

...A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing around in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. About an hour later the manager comes out of his office and asked them to disperse. "But why?", they asked as they moved along. "Because," said the manager, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."

...It was a doctor's regular habit to stop off at a bar for a hazelnut daiquiri on his way home and, aware of his habit, the bartender would always have the drink waiting for him at precisely 5:18 PM. One afternoon as the end of the work-day neared the bartender was dismayed to find he was out of hazelnut extract but, thinking quickly, he threw together a daiquiri made with hickory nuts and set it on the bar. The doctor came in at his regular time, took one sip of the drink, then exclaimed: "This isn't a hazelnut daiquiri", to which the bartender replied, "No, I'm sorry, it's a hickory daiquiri, doc."

...A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to eat when he came across two men; one was sitting under a tree reading a book while the other was typing away on his typewriter. The lion quickly pounced on the man reading the book and devoured him proving even the king of the jungle knows that readers digest and writers cramp.

26 groaners

1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.



2. I thought I saw an eye-doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.



3. She was only a whiskey-maker, but he loved her still.



4. A rubber-band pistol was confiscated from an algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.



5. No matter how much you push the envelope it will still be stationery.



6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.



7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in linoleum blown apart.



8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.



9. A hole has been found in the nudist-camp wall. The police are looking into it.



10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.



11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.



12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'



13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.



14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'



15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.



16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.



17. A backward poet writes inverse.



18. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.



19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.



20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine.



21. A vulture carrying two dead raccoons boards an airplane. The stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.'



22. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says, 'Dam!'



23. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.



24. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my electron.' The other says, 'Are you sure?' The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'



25. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root-canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.



26. A geologist exploring an earthquake fell to his death through no fault of his own.

Fred

A man gets pulled over by a cop for speeding.

The cop asks him, "what is your name?"

The man replies "Fred."

The cop asks "What's your last name."

"I don't have one."

The cop is unsure of how this is, so he asks "Why don't you have a last name?"

The man begins his story. "I began life as Fred Johnson, and went all through primary school and high school as Fred Johnson. I decided to become a medical doctor after I graduated, so I became 'Fred Johnson, M.D.'

After a few years of being a doctor I got bored with it, so I decided to get another degree as a dentist. So I became 'Fred Johnson, M.D., D.D.S.'

After a few years of doing dentistry, I got bored with that, so I decided to fool around with my dental assistant in the closet for a while. Turns out I got VD (Venereal Disease) from those experiences. So I became 'Fred Johnson, M.D., D.D.S., with VD.'

The company that is in charge of dental licenses found out about my VD, so I was stripped from my dentistry title. So I became 'Fred Johnson, M.D., with VD.'

The company that issues medical licenses found out about the dentistry incident, so they stripped me from my medical title. So I was 'Fred Johnson, with VD.'

Then VD took my Johnson, so now I'm just Fred."

There's been a plane crash

The police show up at one of the victims doors;

Wife: Hello, do you have any news on my husband?

Police: Yes ma'am, I'm afraid we have some good news and some bad news concerning your husband.

Wife: Well tell me the good news first, I need something to raise my spirits.

Police: Well ma'am, the good news is, despite your husband being burned to a cinder, we were able to identify your husband by his dental records.

Wife: Sweet merciful! Well what on earth is the bad news?

Police: He's got a pretty nasty cavity in his upper molar.

Husband and wife

A husband and wife are lying in bed when the husband goes in for some action. The wife replies, "not tonight honey, I'm going to the gynecologist tomorrow, and I want to be nice and fresh down there". She turns the light off. Lying in the darkness, the husband rolls over, "you don't have a dental appointment tomorrow do you?"

German Refugee

A refugee is sitting in the street in Berlin, bemoaning his life, when suddenly, a genie appears.

"I'm the socialist, liberal genie," says he, "and I'm here to grant you three wishes."

The refugee says "You see this gap in my teeth? I want it fixed." No sooner does he say that, that he gets a copy of a new law, decreeing that all refugees in Germany will get free health and dental care, courtesy of the state. He ran to the dentist and got his teeth fixed for free.

He is ecstatic, and says "I want a fully furnished house, endless money and to be reunited with my family." No sooner does he say this, that a new law is passed, guaranteeing all refugees in Germany a fully furnished new home, welfare, and reunification with their families. And in his hands were a deed to his new home, and refugee papers for his family.

The man is stunned. He had gotten everything he wanted, and still had a wish left. So he said "I want to be a German citizen. In fact, I want to be named Fritz." And as soon as he said that, his teeth went back to having a gap, and his house and family disappeared.

"What happened?!" he yelled.

"What do you mean, 'what happened'?" replied the genie. "You're a german now. You should be ashamed, trying to live off of government money. Go get a job, Fritz!"

REQUEST: Racist "White" jokes, please.

I know DOZENS of Racist Jokes. But only a couple (not very good) Racist White Jokes.

For example:
Did you hear about the 2 house fire in Mexico?
Thousands died.

Why do Mexican's drive low-riders?
So they can pick strawberries from their car.

A man walks into a Bar with a Parrot on his shoulder.
The Bartender says: "Wow, that's awesome! Where can I get one?"
The Parrot Replies: "Africa! There's millions of them!"

Seriously though: I love Black People.
I think everyone should own one.

How do Asians name their children?
They throw their pots and pans in their air and record the sounds:
Ping Bang Pow.

How do you blindfold an Asian?
With dental floss.

The only "White Joke" I know is:
White people are born purple.
Then turn pink.
When they're mad, they're red.
When they're sick they're green.
When they're scared they're yellow.
When they're cold they're blue.
And have the nerve to call everyone else colored.

So: Does anyone have any "White Jokes" for me?

A man and his corroded dental appliance..

“A man returned for the third time to the dentist to get his dental appliance replaced due to corrosion.

The dentist asked if he ate a highly acid diet, or was fond of citrus, etc.

The man replied that his wife made an excellent holllandaise sauce that was so good he put it on just about everything, and of course it has a lot of lemon juice in it.

"OK" the dentist said, "I have just the thing. I'll order a new one made with chromium"

"That will fix it?" the man asked.

"Absolutely", the dentist replied

"There's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise".

Interesting Title Here

Pun time!!

Q: What do you call dental x-rays? A: Tooth pics.

Q: What do you call a group of babies? A: An infantry.

Q: Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? A: He pasta away.

Q: Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? A: Because they lactose.

Q: What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? A: A dinosnore.

Q: Which way did the programmer go? A: He went data way.

Q: How does NASA organize a party? A: They planet.

Q: What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common? A: Same middle name.

Q: What did the left eye say to the right eye? A: Between you and me, something smells.

Q: Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? A: He didn't have the guts.

Q: What do you call an alligator that wears a vest? A: An investigator.

Q: Are mountains just funny? A: No. They are hill areas.

Q: Why didn't the bicycle stand up on its own? A: It was two tyred.

Q: What did the window feel when it was hit by a stone? A: It felt the pane.

A part in the play

A young lad's father picked him up from school to take him to a dental appointment.

Knowing the parts for the school play were supposed to be posted today, he asked his son if he got a part.

The boy enthusiastically announced that he'd gotten a part. "I play a man who's been married for twenty years."

"That's great, son. Keep up the good work and before you know it they'll be giving you a speaking part."

Crude Dental Work (In Australian)

Man on island, has bad tooth. Needs tooth removed. Friend with an axe is like, I know what to do mate. Uses axe to try to remove tooth but unintentionally knocks out all his teeth. First guy is like, Ouch-aroo mate, that is a 10/10 on the pain scale. Axe guy says, 'Hey man, it was Axe-y Dental'

A man phones a dental clinic to inquire about the price of removing a tooth

"Hello. How much is it to get a tooth removed", asks the man


"That'll be $700, it includes anesthetic, tooth extraction by myself, and assistance from a nurse", replies the dentist

"That's a bit much for me, how much if the nurse extracts it?"

"Well I guess we could do that, it might not be as painless if I did it, but we'll do that for $500"


"Hmmm...", thinks the man. "Still a bit high, what if we didn't have any anesthetic?"


"That would be highly unusual and very painful, but I could do that for $300", explains the dentist


"I don't know, I'm not made of money. Could your receptionist tie a string around the tooth and yank it as hard as they can, how much for that?"


"This is extremely uncommon, but I suppose we could that for $100"


"Great!", the man says excitedly. "I'll book an appointment for my wife for next Tuesday please".

Dental Forms

At the dentist's office for oral surgery, I was handed a couple of forms to fill out. As I signed the first one, I joked with the receptionist, "Does this say that even if you pull my head completely off, I can't sue you?"

"No, that's the next sheet. This one says you still have to pay us."

A mans wife goes in for a dental checkup.

After the appointment the doctor comes out to greet the man.

The man says "how was it?"

The doctor replies "Your wife has a lot of cavities that need to be filled."

The man replies "that must be hard on you."

The doctor replies "Not really I get paid every month to drill your wife."

A man went to the dental surgeon to have a tooth pulled.

The dentist pulls out a needle of anesthetic to give the man.

“No way! No needles! I hate needles!” the patient says.

The dentist then starts to hook up the laughing gas and the man again objects.

“I can’t do the gas thing – the thought of having the gas mask on is suffocating to me!”

The dentist then asks if the man has any objection to taking a pill.

“No,” the patient says, “I am fine with pills.”

The dentist then returns and says, “Here is a Viagra tablet.”

The patient says, “Wow – I didn’t know Viagra worked as a pain pill.!”

“It doesn’t,” says the dentist. “But it will give you something to hold onto when I pull out your tooth.”

After her divorce, Jenny moved back to her home town, hoping to start afresh...

After her divorce, Jenny moved back to her home town, hoping to start afresh.
A few weeks later, while making a dental appointment, she recognized the name as that of a good looking boy from high school, 20 years ago. But when Jenny walked into the dentist's clinic, she realized it must be someone else: the dentist was bald, had a big beer belly and looked old. Just to be sure, Jenny asked if he had graduated from that particular high school.
"Yeah," said the dentist. "I graduated in 91." "Oh, you were in my class!" said an excited Jenny. "Really?" he said, "That's interesting. "What did you teach?"

Dennis lives in Washington DC, and is working as a dental assistant while he gets his degree in chemical engineering...

... He plays tennis every week with his professor, but is always playing pranks and getting into trouble during their matches.

One fine day in late April, after their weekly tennis match, Dennis and his professor are walking past the White House when they see through the raggedy old fence that the vice president is on the verge of tears reading about how undemocratic his administration’s attempt was to ask Americans if they’re legal citizens on the 2020 census.

Pence turns around, startled to see Dennis standing behind him.

To make him feel better, Dennis reaches through the fence and gives him some change, along with the rest of his lettuce wrap, and a coupon to rent camping equipment from REI.

Pence perks up, since he’s a major vegan and loves the outdoors, and goes on his merry way.

So, to make a long story short...

Dennis, the dental hygienist chemist apprentice tennis menace, senses Pence’s tense Lent census penance from dented fence reconnaissance. The Vice Pres senses Dennis’s presence, so Dennis mends his lettuce fetish senses, and lends him cents and rented tents.

An Interesting Proposal

So I drive around the city a lot, see a lot of stuff, ya know, trees and whatnot. Anyways, I just passed a homeless lady who was holding a sign that said " widowed, single, need help, kisses included."

What an interesting sign, so unique, so confident, so single...

So she came up to my window and smiled at me, while pointing to her sign. Very proud of her methhead macaroni art.

I swear it looked like she makes out with rats, right before she eats thems.
She had teeth that would be envious of the British dental standard.
Her teeth were the teeth of the boogie man from the Nightmare Before Christmas.
Her mouth knew the guy that knew the guy who sold heisenberg's blue meth.

I was scared, but I wanted to help, what a situation to be in, I had to think quick.

So I gave her 5 dollars and told her I was paying for the guy behind me.

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