Library Jokes

Contents

Funniest Library Jokes

A black guy in an library asked me where the colored printer was I said "Sir, this is 2019. You can use any printer you want".

Score: 17650

In breaking news, Trump's personal library has burned down The fire consumed both books and in a tragic twist he hadn't even finished coloring the second one

Score: 10569

I asked the librarian if the library had any books about paranoia. She whispered: "They're right behind you."

Score: 8931

What is the tallest building in the world? The library, because it has so many stories.

Score: 8706

A black guy in a library asked me where the colored printer was I replied, "Dude, it's 2017, you can use any printer you want."

Score: 8476

Did you hear the news that Trump's personal library burnt down? Unfortunately, both books were permanently destroyed.


Do you know the what the real tragedy is?
He didn't even finish colouring the second one.

Score: 8342

A guy walks into a library and asks the librarian, "do you have that book for men with small penises?" The librarian looks on her computer and says, "I don't know if it's in yet."

The man replies, "Yeah that's the one."

Score: 3837

A man walks into a library and says to the librarian, "do you have that book for men with small penises?" The librarian looks on her computer and says, "I don't know if it's in yet."

"Yeah that's the one"

Score: 3259

I work in a library and a black guy asked me if there are any coloured printers... I said, "Dude, it's 2016 you can use any printer you want."

Score: 2023

My black friend asked me... My black friend asked me if there was a colored printer in the library I said wtf man it's 2015 you can use whatever printer you want

Score: 1859
Funny Library Jokes
Score: 1375

Have a turkish joke A prisoner goes to the jail's library to borrow a book. The librarian says: "We don't have this book, but we have its author"

Score: 1374

I was at the library today when a black guy came up to me and asked me where the colored printers were. I replied, "Dude, it's 2019, you can use whatever printer you want."

Score: 1363

A blind man walks into a library and asks, "Do you have any books on tape?" The librarian says, "Yes, yes we do, but it's not a very interesting subject."

Score: 1242

I went to the library and asked for a book on Pavlov's dog and Shrodinger's Cat The librarian said "That rings a bell but I don't know if it's here or not."

Score: 1157

a man goes to a library and asks for a book on suicide......... Librarian stares at him for a while, then asks: Who's gonna bring it back ?

Score: 813

A guy walking to library and asks for a book on sea turtles. The librarian asks "hard back?"

The guy replies "yeah little heads too."

Score: 729

So I was at the Library today .. And a black Gentleman came over to me and asked where the coloured printer was. I replied "Man its 2016 you can use any printer!"

Score: 670

A man walks into a library and asks the librarian at the info desk if they have any books on Pavlov's dog or Schrodinger's cat. The librarian thinks for a moment before replying "It rings a bell but I'm not sure whether it's there or not."

Score: 617

I went to the library and asked if they had the book about tiny penises... The librarian said, "I don't think it's in yet."

I said, "Yes, that's the one."

Score: 566

I was in the library the other day when a black man came up to me and asked me where the colored printers were? I replied, "Dude, it's 2018, you can use whatever printer you want."

Score: 545

I was sitting in the library... I was sitting in the library when a black guy came up to me, asking "Where are the colored printers?" I said "Dude... it's 2014, you can use whichever printer you want"

Score: 533

I got fired from my job at the library... Apparently the book on women’s rights doesn’t belong in the fiction section.

Score: 504

A man walks into a library ... A man walks into a library and asks the librarian, "Do you have that new book for men with small penises?"


The librarian looks on her computer and says, "I don't know if it's in yet."

"Yeah that's the one!"

Score: 369

Went to the library and asked for a book on Pavlov’s dog and Schrodinger’s cat. The librarian said it rang a bell but she didn’t know if it was there or not.

Score: 346

A man walks into a library... And he asks "Excuse me, is The Big Book of Turtles in?"

"Hard back?"

"Yeah, with little heads"

Score: 341

*At the library* “Do you have a book about the discrimination of dwarves?”

“Left corner, on the top shelf!”

Score: 322

I went to the library. I said,"Can I borrow a book about suicide?" The guy said,"We did have one, but we never got it back."

Score: 284

A woman walks into a library and asked if they had any books about paranoia Librarian: "They're right behind you!!"

Score: 276

So I was minding my business in the library today when a black guy walked up to me and asked me where the colored printers were. I replied, "Dude, it's 2017, you can use whatever printer you want."

Score: 270

Couldn't get into the library the other day... ... it was fully booked.

Score: 28

I was at a library and a black guy asked where the colored printer was. I said, "bro, it's 2017, use any printer you want." I was at a library and a black guy asked where the colored printer was. I said, "bro, it's 2017, use any printer you want."

Score: 7

A blind man walked into a library And a table and a chair and people.

Score: 6

I took a trip to the JFK Presidential Library yesterday... It was mind blowing

Score: 5

Man walks into a library and asks the librarian, "Hey! Can I get a chicken sandwich?" The librarian admonishes him, "Sir! This is a library." He replies... "Oh sorry, *^one ^chicken ^sandwich ^please!* "

Score: 3

I phoned up the library and they said I needed to return the books by Tuesday. I said I only had ones by Jane Austen and Ernest Hemingway.

Score: 2

A man walked into a library and said “ can I have a pizza please” The librarian said “ this is a library”

The man apologised and replied(in a whisper)
“Can I have a pizza please”

Score: 2

Two guys were sitting in a library One guy tells the other,"Hey bro, can you pass me the biology book?". Hearing this, the librarian hushed him and said,"Be silent!". Hearing this, this guy repeats the question,"Hey ro, can you pass me the iology ook?".

Score: 2

How do they keep track of books at the sausage library? The Andouille Decimal System

Score: 2

As i was leaving the library today, a couple were giving me the bad eye. How rude... I don't know what I did to be honest. It all happened after I placed a book titled 'Ethiopian Cuisine' in the Fiction section.

Score: 2

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New Library Jokes

I walked into the library and asked the librarian "Where are your books on Dyslexia?" "In between the books on Dysfunction and Dyspepsia." She replied.

Great...just great.

Score: 0

I tried making a reservation for a seat at yhe library But they were fully booked

Score: 0

Did you hear that the Trump Presidential library burned down? It's ok ... they saved both books.




And one of them wasn't even colored in yet!

Score: 2

I was in the library on the computers watching YouTube before I decided to scroll through the comments section and a librarian walked past looked at me and said: Read more

Score: 0

A man walks into a library and asks the librarian, "do you have that book about Pavlov and Schrödinger?" The librarian responds, "it rings a bell, but I don't know if we have it or not."

Score: 0

I cut a small bit off the bottom of my trousers, I put it in a library book then returned it to the library. When the librarian was filing the book back on the selves the bit of trouser fell out... She said “huh, that’s a turn up for the books”

Score: 1

I fell sorry for the victims of shooting in the school library... Those kids go there for the books, got magazine instead.

Score: 0

I WOULD tell you about the secret library... But its very hush hush

Score: 2

What is the tallest building in the intire earth? A Library!!!
-It has many stories!

Score: 1

Why did Penn State move the Joe Paterno statue into the campus library? To keep the children silent.

Score: 1

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