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Funniest Jokes
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Funniest Panda Jokes
What does a South Carolina cop do when a panda runs away from him? Shoots him 8 times in the black.
So a panda walks into a bar...
He sits down and orders: I'd like one whiskey.......and a coke please
The bartender brings him his drinks and asks:" Here you go, but why the big pause?"
The panda looks down to his hands and says:" I was born with them"
How do you confuse a panda? You bamboo-zle it.
What are the two oldest animals on Earth? The Zebra and the Panda. Because we see them in black and white.
Why should you never let a panda into a chemistry lab? Because it will create pandamonium
What do you call a male panda?
Amanda!
~~*(I know it's not saying much, but this is OC!)*~~
To spell Panda, all you need is P and A
A panda walks into a bar
He tells the bartender, "I'll have a scotch and....................................................a coke, thank you."
"Sure thing," replied the bartender, "but why the big pause?"
"I was born with them," says the panda raising his paws.
How does a panda make his pancakes in the morning? With a pan...duh
A panda walks into a restaurant and orders a sandwich... After finishing his meal, he tries to pull out a gun, but the owner shoots him dead because he's seen this joke on /r/jokes a hundred times.
What’s black and white, black and white and black and white? A panda bear rolling down a hill
What is a panda afraid of? Bam-boo
The bears in China discovered a new element... It's Panda-monium
What common enemy do the Hulk and Kung Fu Panda share? >!stairs!<
How does a panda act when you startle it? Bamboozled.
What do you get if you cross Human DNA and Panda DNA? Banned from the zoo. Trust me, I found out the hard way.
A man with a black eye Walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender looks at him and says 'Wow, rough night?.' The man replies back, 'no my dads a panda.'
What’s the difference between a panda and a cop in an ethnic restaurant? A panda eats chutes and leaves. The cop eats, shoots and leaves.
What is Po's (Kung Fu Panda) dominant colour? White because his father returned.
Sweet jeebus, this panda is hurt! Quick call the bamboolance.
Did you hear about the Panda at the Philadelphia Zoo who had his meal time changed? He was bamboo-zled.
A koala, a bear and a panda owned tea shops...
But which one was the best?
The Koala's, as it was the most Koala-Tea.
I finally saw Kung Fu Panda. I'm certainly not an expert, but I thought the nunchuck scene looked kind of fake.
A panda walks into a restaurant and orders a sandwich.
After eating, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and leaves.
Next day, the headlines read *Panda eats shoots and leaves!*
Today i realised that Kung Fu Panda was actually a very progressive movie Not only is the protagonist such a minority that he is literally an endangered species, he is also portrayed by a Black man
Why don't bisexuals eat at Panda Express? Because they're always telling them to pick a side.
What did the doctor tell the panda bear after the results of his child's paternity test came back? I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the results are a bit grizzly.
A Panda walks into a bar..
and asks the bartender if he can get a scotch...
.....
...and coke.
The bartender replies "Sure thing, but why the big pause?"
The Panda shrugs, lifts up his hands, and says "Was born with them."
A panda once hid his food in order to get more. The zookeepers were bamboozeled.
What's black, white, red and Asian? The red panda
What happened to the dude tricked by a panda? He was bamboo-zled!
A panda walks into a bar...
A panda walks into a bar and walks up to the bartender and says, "Can I get a
.
.
.
.
glass of water?"
The bartender says, "Sure, but why the big paws?"
*ba-dum-tshh*
Why is the panda so likely to shoot up a restaurant? He eats shoots and leaves.
How does a panda do a one night stand? Eats, shoots, and leaves.
A panda bear with a gun walks into a pub and orders some food. He eats, shoots and leaves
My lover always dresses as a panda when we are in bed Unfortunately, I don't think we'll last; he just eats shoots and leaves.
What do you call a lying panda? A bamboozle
A panda is the greatest restaurant assassin. It eats shoots and leaves.
A panda is finishing up his meal at a restaurant. When he is handed the bill, he pulls a deagle and nails the waiter in the stomach. He proceeded to walkout of the restaurant. What did you expect, they eat, shoots and leaves.