Panda Jokes


Funniest Panda Jokes

What does a South Carolina cop do when a panda runs away from him? Shoots him 8 times in the black.

Score: 88

So a panda walks into a bar... He sits down and orders: I'd like one whiskey.......and a coke please

The bartender brings him his drinks and asks:" Here you go, but why the big pause?"

The panda looks down to his hands and says:" I was born with them"

Score: 67
Funny Panda Jokes
Score: 62

How do you confuse a panda? You bamboo-zle it.

Score: 47

What are the two oldest animals on Earth? The Zebra and the Panda. Because we see them in black and white.

Score: 36

Why should you never let a panda into a chemistry lab? Because it will create pandamonium

Score: 31

What do you call a male panda? Amanda!

~~*(I know it's not saying much, but this is OC!)*~~

Score: 25

To spell Panda, all you need is P and A

Score: 21

A panda walks into a bar He tells the bartender, "I'll have a scotch and....................................................a coke, thank you."

"Sure thing," replied the bartender, "but why the big pause?"

"I was born with them," says the panda raising his paws.

Score: 20

How does a panda make his pancakes in the morning? With a pan...duh

Score: 20

A panda walks into a restaurant and orders a sandwich... After finishing his meal, he tries to pull out a gun, but the owner shoots him dead because he's seen this joke on /r/jokes a hundred times.

Score: 19

What’s black and white, black and white and black and white? A panda bear rolling down a hill

Score: 18

What is a panda afraid of? Bam-boo

Score: 13

The bears in China discovered a new element... It's Panda-monium

Score: 11

What common enemy do the Hulk and Kung Fu Panda share? >!stairs!<

Score: 11

How does a panda act when you startle it? Bamboozled.

Score: 10

What do you get if you cross Human DNA and Panda DNA? Banned from the zoo. Trust me, I found out the hard way.

Score: 9

A man with a black eye Walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender looks at him and says 'Wow, rough night?.' The man replies back, 'no my dads a panda.'

Score: 9

What’s the difference between a panda and a cop in an ethnic restaurant? A panda eats chutes and leaves. The cop eats, shoots and leaves.

Score: 9

What is Po's (Kung Fu Panda) dominant colour? White because his father returned.

Score: 8

Sweet jeebus, this panda is hurt! Quick call the bamboolance.

Score: 8

Did you hear about the Panda at the Philadelphia Zoo who had his meal time changed? He was bamboo-zled.

Score: 7

A koala, a bear and a panda owned tea shops... But which one was the best?
The Koala's, as it was the most Koala-Tea.

Score: 6

I finally saw Kung Fu Panda. I'm certainly not an expert, but I thought the nunchuck scene looked kind of fake.

Score: 6

A panda walks into a restaurant and orders a sandwich. After eating, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and leaves.

Next day, the headlines read *Panda eats shoots and leaves!*

Score: 6

Today i realised that Kung Fu Panda was actually a very progressive movie Not only is the protagonist such a minority that he is literally an endangered species, he is also portrayed by a Black man

Score: 6

Why don't bisexuals eat at Panda Express? Because they're always telling them to pick a side.

Score: 6

What did the doctor tell the panda bear after the results of his child's paternity test came back? I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the results are a bit grizzly.

Score: 5

A Panda walks into a bar.. and asks the bartender if he can get a scotch...


...and coke.
The bartender replies "Sure thing, but why the big pause?"
The Panda shrugs, lifts up his hands, and says "Was born with them."

Score: 5

A panda once hid his food in order to get more. The zookeepers were bamboozeled.

Score: 5

What's black, white, red and Asian? The red panda

Score: 5

Why is the panda so likely to shoot up a restaurant? He eats shoots and leaves.

Score: 4

A panda is the greatest restaurant assassin. It eats shoots and leaves.

Score: 3

A panda is finishing up his meal at a restaurant. When he is handed the bill, he pulls a deagle and nails the waiter in the stomach. He proceeded to walkout of the restaurant. What did you expect, they eat, shoots and leaves.

Score: 3

Why don't you want a panda in your restaurant? Because it eats, shoots, and leaves.

Score: 2

A group dressed in panda masks tried to rob a bank... It was an embarrassment.

Score: 2

What has two black eyes and is fat? A panda

Score: 2

A panda had far too much to drink at a party His hangover was unbearable

Score: 1

I know people really like Chinese Bears and jewelry, so I was gonna make a joke about them... But that would be panda ring.

Score: 1

Why did the panda travel to Wall Street? To buy bamboo stalks!

Score: 1

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New Panda Jokes

So a Panda walks into Child Protecive Services... They ask, “Whats wrong?”

The panda says, “my mother gave me two black eyes”

Score: 0

A Recent Discovery in the Scientific Community has Caused an Outrage... Chaos ensued when scientists discovered a new element while studying a panda named Mon. The only thing that caused more insanity was the name of the element.


Score: 1

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