Guy runs into a bar, yells "Quick! How tall is a penguin?"
Bartender says "Three feet tall."
Guy says "Oh my God! I just ran over a nun!"
A physicist sees a person on the top of a very tall building. "Don't do it! You have so much potential!"
Men call short women "petite". What do women call short men?
Um, yeh, they don't call.
Source: I'm not a tall man.
Ukrainian authorities are planning to turn the Chernobyl exclusion zone into an amusement park They say the only difference between it and Disneyland will be that the six foot tall mouse isn't a costume.
A physicist notices a man about to jump of a really tall building, he yells: DONT JUMP YOU HAVE SO MUCH POTENTIAL
I went to school with a very tall guy named Jimmy Glasscock. You could always see him coming.
I just purchased a new iPhone 7 Plus, and my son dropped it, So i’m giving it away. He’s 8 years old, tall and quite thin. Good with pets.
A physicist is walking along a road when she looks up at a tall building... She sees a man on the roof getting ready to jump and shouts out to him, "Don't do it, you have so much potential!"
I heard a knock at the door this morning, and when I answered it, a 6ft tall cockroach-looking thing was standing there, clearly very angry. He called me a prick and then punched me right in the face! Apparently theres a nasty bug going around
The Ukrainian government is opening up a tourist attraction in Chernobyl. It will be like Disney World, except the six foot tall mouse is real.
Why did Dave Grohl buy such a tall house? He wanted to make sure he was getting the best, the best, the best, the best-a view.
A man is standing on the top of a tall building about to commit suicide... ...when a physicist at the bottom shouts up, "Don't do it! You have so much potential!"
Did you know the Hover Dam was supposed to be twice as tall as it is now?
After some re-evaluation, they thought it would be 2 dam high.
I’ll see myself out...
A man is standing on a tall ledge. A physicist yells from the street, "Don't jump! You have too much potential!"
How does a Scotsman find a sheep in the tall grass?
How does a (insert nationality here) find a sheep in the tall grass?
Very (insert extremely lustful emotion here)!
A 3 foot tall psychic escapes prison, then he gets a look at the newspaper "Small medium at large"
You know what the worst part about being tall and funny is? My jokes go right over most people's head.
A bad joke
2 tall guys and a midget walk into a bar.
The 2 tall guys say "ow" and the midget laughs in victory.
Sorry for the bad joke it is my cake day and I don't have anything interesting to post.
I think the 6" tall currant bushes I bought today were mislabeled. They're really more "future bushes," when you think about it.
Why should you never let Rick Astley take you to the top of a tall building? He's never gonna let you down.
I know a joke about an abusive dwarf and his tall wife. A little offensive. But a real knee slapper.
My dad just got a tall new grill and I’m worried he’ll get hurt trying to use it. The steaks have never been higher.
Boys and girls, my daughter cracked my MacBook's screen: I'm doing a giveaway
She's 11, 5ft tall and quite fun when she doesn't break stuff
DM me your address if you want her
What kind of trees are telephone poles made from?
Overheard from an old man at McDonald's
Wanted: tall fit woman with good
sense of humor, can cook frogs'
legs, who will enjoy a good fuc-
hsia garden, traveling, and tal-
king without getting too serious.
Please read only lines 1, 3 and 5.
How tall is the average diabetic person? About as tall as the average person, minus two feet.
heh I'm really tall and a kid said hows "the weather up there" and I said "its raining" and the I spat on him
A tall guy rushed in front of an elderly woman on the train to take the last seat. The woman shouted, “What a mean guy!” But he was clearly above average
My friend was telling me about his plans to build a second level on his home It sounded like a tall story
A man is approached at a hospital
“How tall are you?”
“Oh, I’m very sorry; but I’m not the doctor. I’m the carpenter.”
What is the difference between Disneyland Paris and Disneyland Chernobyl The 6ft tall Mouse is real.
A tall friend told me he can't stand sitting on long plane flights. I told him most people can't stand sitting.
Yesterday I saw aliens for the first time, they were tall and had blue skin with giant eyes. But what struck me the most is that they came in a green spaceship that had a rounded format Turns out they do come in peas
A young man wakes up in a hospital.
He sees an older genteleman, standing by his bed, who asks him "How tall are you, son?"
The man replies " Five foot ten, doctor"
The older man, looking confused, says "Oh, I'm not the doctor, I'm the carpenter"
Its easy to spot an American spy, just ask them how tall they are If they answer in feet you have your answer.