Old Age Jokes

Vaccinated babies are 10 times more likely to die from heart disease, cancer, and alzheimer’s. Keep kids from dying from old age, stop vaccinating today.

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Funny Old Age Jokes
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A 94 year old man decided to divorce his 93 old wife... They went to the lawyer together. When he asked why they were divorcing at such an old age, the woman replied, "We wanted to wait until the kids were dead".

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If Abraham Lincoln were alive today, what would he be famous for? Old age.

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The secret to having a smoking hot body in old age? Cremation.

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What's the only thing in Australia that won't kill you? Old Age

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What's the best part of old age? It doesn't last very long.

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Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving.

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An 80 year old couple are talking with each other "I've heard your memory is the first to go in old age," says the old man.

"I've heard your hearing is the first to go," says the old woman.

"What did you say?" he asks.

"I can't remember," she says.

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"A woman told her doctor, 'I've got a bad back.' The doctor said, 'It's old age.' The woman said, 'I want a second opinion. 'The doctor says, 'OK, you're ugly as well.'"

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Humans are like grapes... Grapes are green or purple, and a human has colors too. A grape is picked, and eaten by a human. Then we die of old age. I'm not good with metaphors.

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A mugger approaches an Irish man He points his gun and says, "Your money or your life!"

The Irishman replies, "Take me life. I'm saving me money for me old age."

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If George Washington were alive today, what would he be famous for? Old age!

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What are three signs old age? 1. Becoming forgetful

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I wrote a poem called "Old Age Pensioner's Underwear". Rose's are red

Violet's are blue

Ethel's are green

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Don't worry about old age. It doesn't last that long.

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A gorilla dies of old age at the zoo. His name wasn't Harambe.

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They say you shrink when you get older My grandma lost a foot in her old age, but i think it had something to do with diabetes.

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My mate said he’s just bought his wife a 24 carat gold vibrator for her birthday. I think he must be going soft in his old age.

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In my old age, I am like a fine wine... Fifteen percent alcohol by volume.

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What's the biggest advantage of being a smoker? Not having to set aside money for your old age.

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I was just diagnosed with tetanus Guess I'm gettimg rusty in my old age

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A woman tells her doctor, 'I've got a bad back.' The doctor says, 'It's old age.' The woman says, 'I want a second opinion.' The doctor says: 'Okay - you're ugly as well.'

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After the last few died of old age, the Christian Congregation decides to take on some younger ministers They're moving onto greener pastors

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Old age You know you are getting old when you have a party and the neighbours dont even realise it.

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My grandma got her foot amputated because of diabetes. Seeing her like this reminds me that no one can escape old age. especially if you have one leg.

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They say you shrink when you get older. My grandma lost a foot in her old age, but I think that was more so due to the gangrene.

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In my old age I may have developed alzheimer's But at least I don't have alzheimer's.

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Old age homes suck people are dying to get out of there.

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I’ve definitely started to like the dentist more in my old age. “thisargfhtthooswagjk” is always the right answer.

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Mother in Her Old Age My mother's gotten to the point in her life where she's going on about who has just died.

"Do you remember Martha? She's just died..."

"Do you remember Arthur? He's just died!"

I said, "Mum, get off the roof and give me the gun!"

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