Vaccinated babies are 10 times more likely to die from heart disease, cancer, and alzheimer’s. Keep kids from dying from old age, stop vaccinating today.
A 94 year old man decided to divorce his 93 old wife... They went to the lawyer together. When he asked why they were divorcing at such an old age, the woman replied, "We wanted to wait until the kids were dead".
An 80 year old couple are talking with each other
"I've heard your memory is the first to go in old age," says the old man.
"I've heard your hearing is the first to go," says the old woman.
"What did you say?" he asks.
"I can't remember," she says.
"A woman told her doctor, 'I've got a bad back.' The doctor said, 'It's old age.' The woman said, 'I want a second opinion. 'The doctor says, 'OK, you're ugly as well.'"
A mugger approaches an Irish man
He points his gun and says, "Your money or your life!"
The Irishman replies, "Take me life. I'm saving me money for me old age."
Humans are like grapes... Grapes are green or purple, and a human has colors too. A grape is picked, and eaten by a human. Then we die of old age. I'm not good with metaphors.
A holocaust surviver dies of old age and goes to heaven He meets God and tells him a holocaust joke. God said “Thats not funny.” The survivor says “well I guess you had to be there”
A Holocaust survivor dies of old age and goes to heaven.
He tells God a Holocaust joke.
God replies, “That’s not funny.”
He replies, “I guess you had to be there.”
I wrote a poem called "Old Age Pensioner's Underwear".
Rose's are red
Violet's are blue
Ethel's are green
They say you shrink when you get older My grandma lost a foot in her old age, but i think it had something to do with diabetes.
My mate said he’s just bought his wife a 24 carat gold vibrator for her birthday. I think he must be going soft in his old age.
A Holocaust survivor dies of old age In heaven he tells God a holocaust joke and God says, that's not funny. The survivor says, well I guess you had to be there.
A Holocaust survivor Meets God
So, a holocaust survivor eventually dies of old age and goes to heaven.
He meets GOD.
And he tells GOD a Holocaust joke.
GOD : That’s not funny.
Man : I guess you had to be there.
What's the biggest advantage of being a smoker? Not having to set aside money for your old age.
To any new parent!
Use the old age filter on your kid.
Print it out, frame it and display it where they will see it daily.
At some point they will realise it's them.
Convince them they're a time traveller
A man in ancient Egypt commits a crime. The Pharaoh says "The penalty for your crime is death." "How would like to die?" "Death by old age"
A holocaust survivor dies of old age and gets to Heaven
He meets God and tells god a holocaust joke
"That wasn't funny," God replies
"Oh, you must've been there"
After the last few died of old age, the Christian Congregation decides to take on some younger ministers They're moving onto greener pastors
My grandma got her foot amputated because of diabetes. Seeing her like this reminds me that no one can escape old age. especially if you have one leg.
A woman told her doctor.
A woman told her doctor, I have got a bad back.
The doctor said, It's old age.
The woman said, I want second opinion.
The Doctor says, Ok, you are ugly as well.
They say you shrink when you get older. My grandma lost a foot in her old age, but I think that was more so due to the gangrene.
In Bilbo Baggins' old age, he develops an addiction to Viagra.
For many years, he tries his hardest to break his bad habit, but he just can't seem to stop. Eventually, he overdoses on Viagra and dies.
The moral of the story: Old hobbits die hard.
Old age You know you are getting old when you have a party and the neighbours dont even realise it.
A woman tells her doctor, 'I've got a bad back.' The doctor says, 'It's old age.' The woman says, 'I want a second opinion.' The doctor says: 'Okay - you're ugly as well.'
I’ve definitely started to like the dentist more in my old age. “thisargfhtthooswagjk” is always the right answer.
Mother in Her Old Age
My mother's gotten to the point in her life where she's going on about who has just died.
"Do you remember Martha? She's just died..."
"Do you remember Arthur? He's just died!"
I said, "Mum, get off the roof and give me the gun!"
A holocaust survivor dies of old age. When he meets God, he starts telling his favorite holocaust joke. God stops him, saying, "That's not funny." "Well," says the survivor, "I guess you just had to be there."
A man is brought in for execution The king is a fair king and let’s him choose how he would like to die. The man thinks for a moment and finally responds with” I would like to die of old age”