Deer Jokes

Contents

Funniest Deer Jokes

There were 3 blondes walking on a trail... The first blonde said "Those look like deer tracks!"

The second blonde said "No those are totally moose tracks... "

The third blonde said "Nope, they are goat tracks!"

Then a train hit them

Score: 1471

What's the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts? Beer nuts are always over a dollar, deer nuts are always under a buck.

Goofy, I know, but still makes me laugh 20 years after I first heard it!

Score: 1325
Funny Deer Jokes
Score: 1291

I walked into a store and noticed they were selling deer nuts for $1.25 Every other time I've seen them, they were under a buck.

Score: 1133

What is the cheapest kind of meat you can buy? Deer balls, they're under a buck.

Score: 807

What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are a dollar fifty. Deer nuts are always under a buck...

I'll see myself out now.

Score: 706

What is the cheapest meat? Deer testicles.

They're under a Buck.

Score: 639

Whats the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts Beer nuts are $1.50 a lb. And deer nuts are under a buck.

Score: 507

What is the cheapest type of meat? Deer testicles. They're under a buck.

Score: 369

Three blondes found some tracks... The first blonde said, "Those are bear tracks!"

The second blonde said, "No, those are deer tracks!"

The third blonde said, "No those are dog tracks!"

And that was when the train hit them.

Score: 332

Why did Kim Jong-il die a week before December 25th? Because Rudolph is the only deer leader at Christmas.

Score: 181

What's the cheapest type of meat to buy?? Deer balls; because they're under a buck.

Score: 172

I tortured a guy from PETA. He screamed for deer life.

Score: 158

What's the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts? Beer nuts are $1.29 a bag.

Deer nuts are just under a buck.

Score: 143

Two deer walk out of a bar. One turns to the other in disgust and says, "I can't believe you blew 20 bucks in there."

Score: 139

Whats the cheapest type of meat? Deer balls, they are under a buck

Score: 132

Why did the elk cry at the funeral? He had lost a deer friend

Score: 104

What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? You can get one beer nut for $1.35, but two deer nuts are just under a buck

Score: 102

What do you call a deer wearing an explosive vest? Bombi.

EDIT: Wow this blew up

Score: 91

Three Blondes Three blondes are hiking in the woods when they see some tracks.

1st blonde: Look guys, deer tracks!

2nd blonde: No, stupid, they're wolf tracks!

3rd blonde: You guys are both dumb, they're clearly bear tracks!

Then they got hit by a train.

Score: 90

What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are $3.99 and deer nuts are under a buck.

Score: 63

What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are $1.59/pound, while deer nuts are under a buck.

Score: 62

What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are a buck fifty and deer nuts are always under a buck

Score: 61

What are the cheapest kind of nuts? Deer nuts, they're under a buck.

Score: 60

What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are a $1.70 a packet and deer nuts are under a buck

Score: 58

3 blondes are walking along some tracks. The first one says "hey these are bear tracks!"

The second says "no they are raccoon tracks."

The third says "no, they're deer tracks."

Then the train hit them.

Score: 53

What's the cheapest meat you can buy? Deer Balls...they're under a buck

Score: 53

Next time I see a dead deer on the side of the road I'm going to leave and come back dressed as Santa with a sign that says, "Help, need ride!"

Score: 53

Two blondes are walking in the forest.. They stumble upon some tracks
Blonde one says “these are deer tracks”
Blonde two says “no these are raccoon tracks”
They argue and argue until they get hit by a train...

Score: 51

Two blondes are walking in the woods. They come across some tracks. One says they are deer tracks. The other says no they are bear tracks. They were still arguing when the train hit them.

Score: 49

What's the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts? Beer Nuts are $1.50.

Deer Nuts are always under a buck.

Score: 48

ME: I trained this chicken to talk. HER: Let's hear then.

ME: What's a male deer called?

CHICKEN: Buck

ME: How much is 200 pennies worth?

CHICKEN: Buck Buck

HER: This is dumb.

CHICKEN: It gets way better, Susan.

Score: 45

Whats the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts One is $3.50 the other is under a buck.

Score: 45

What’s the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are $1.59 and deer nuts are under a buck

Score: 44

Three blondes were taking a walk in the country when they came upon a line of tracks. The first blonde said, "Those must be deer tracks!"
The second blonde said, "No, stupid, anyone can tell those are rabbit tracks!"

The third one was hit by the train.

Score: 41

What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are $2.99, but, deer nuts are under a buck.

Score: 40

What did the selfish beaver say to the deer that asked him to help stop the flooding affecting her grazing grounds? Frankly, my deer, I don't give a dam.

Score: 39

What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are about $1.79, and deer nuts are right under a buck.

Score: 38

Why'd the chicken cross the road? To show a deer how it's done.

Score: 37

I tortured a vegan by force-feeding him venison. He was screaming for deer life!

Score: 36

What’s the cheapest meat in the world? Deer balls, they’re under a buck.

Score: 35

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New Deer Jokes

What do you call a deer doctor? A hart surgeon

Score: 2

What did the deer say when she came out of the woods? “That’s the last time I do that for two bucks.”

Score: 4

What do you call a deer who has lost both eyes in a hunting accident? No eye deer

Score: 2

What ist he cheapest kind of meat you can buy? Deer balls.They are under a buck

Score: 12

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no idea.

Score: 4

Three blondes Three blondes are walking in the forest and stop when they see tracks.
First blonde: those are deer tracks
Second blonde: what? Those are rabbit tracks
Third blonde: you're both crazy, they're bear tracks

Then the train hits them

Score: 28

I saw a deer going to work today. I wonder what he does

Score: 1

Deer nuts are always the same price worldwide.... Always under a buck! lol


My 11 year old son told me this joke today and thought I'd share with everyone.

Score: 8

Difference between a corrupt government getting hit by a car and a deer being hit by a car? There where skid marks leading up to the deer...

Score: 2

So Two Blondes are stand on a pair of Tracks So two blondes are standing on a pair of tracks arguing, “They’re deer tracks”, “No They’re Bear Tracks “

Half a Hour a later they get hit by a train

Score: 26

What’s the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are always around $1.00, but deer nuts are always under a buck.

Score: 1

A deer jumps higher than the average house This is because the average house can’t jump

Score: 5

What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idear.

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?

Still no idear.

Score: 9

Me: I trained this chicken to talk Her:let’s see

Me:what’s a male deer

Chicken: buck

Me: how much is 200 pennies

Chicken: buck buck

Her: this is so stupid

Me: it gets better

Chicken:it gets way better,Karen

Score: 1

Why did the deer cross the road? To prove he wasn't a chicken

Score: 2

What you call a deer with no eyes No idear

Score: 10

What’s the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are $1.79

Deer nuts are just under a buck

Score: 34

An average performance A biologist, a chemist, and a statistician are out hunting. The biologist shoots at a deer and misses five feet to the left. The chemist takes a shot and misses five feet to the right. The statistician yells "We got 'em!”

Score: 18

What do u call a deer with no eyes? No-I-deer

Score: 1

What was troubling the Deer leader of the Elk socialist republic? The stagnation of the Buck

Score: 2

The biologist shoots at a deer and misses five feet to the left. The chemist shoots at the same deer and misses five feet to the right. The statistician shouts, "We got him!" Netflix shouts to the statistician, "Your documentary is coming!"

Score: 14

If you see a deer with out antlers acting crazy dont try to eat it without cooking it first. Everyone knows you cant eat raw kooky doe.

Score: 4

Which side of a deer has the best meat? The inside.

Score: 28

What did the deer say when she walked out of the forest? “That’s the last time I do THAT for two bucks.”

Score: 5

One day three boys are walking through the woods. While walking, they come across some tracks.

“Those are deer tracks” said the first boy.

“Those are bear tracks. I know for sure” said the second.

The third got hit by the train.

Score: 6

I want to start a deer breeding business but first I'm gonna need about 5000 bucks

Score: 5

A baby deer has been hanging around my house lately I'm quite fawned of it

Score: 4

What’s the difference between a brood of deer and fried maize cakes? One is a batch of fawn critters and the other is a batch of corn fritters.

Score: 1

A deer was caught trying to rob a bank He had to pay a couple thousand bucks

Score: 2

2 deers at a bar Deer 1 says “cover fee is expensive at the doors”
Deer 2 says”no kidding, I had to blow 2 bucks to get in here”

Score: 2

What do you call a group of deer who indulge in domestic violence and blame it on their SO? Amber Herd

Score: 4

What did the deer say after prancing around a cloning machine for an hour? I feel like a Million Bucks!!!

Score: 3

My caribou pal just got me the most thoughtful gift He's always been such a deer friend.

Score: 2

If you're looking for a cheap or inexpensive meal try deer balls. I hear they're under a buck.

Score: 5

What is the difference between a beer nut and a deer nut? One is a dollar, but the other is under a buck.

Score: 1

According to Justin Bieber, what band really sucks? Deer Tick

Score: 1

What’s a deer without eyes? No eye deer.

What’s a deer without eyes or legs?






Still no eye deer.

What’s a deer with no eyes, legs, or ears?






Def. still no eye dear.

Score: 3

At 12:00, I saw a deer running away. I guess hind sight is 2020.

Score: 3

What did the buck say to his wife when she asked if he thought she was pretty? Yes deer

Score: 3

People think i'm a monster for only hunting pregnant deer but doe taste better once it's bred.

Score: 3

What do you call a deer with guerrilla training? Ram-doe

Score: 5

I really miss my job as a deer masseuse... It made me feel like a million bucks.

Score: 4

My sister dressed up as a deer for Halloween. All my friends fawned over her

Score: 8

What do you call a deer with no eyes? Unfinished business

Score: 1

I like my women how I like my deer Usually found dead on the side of the road

Score: 6

What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are a $1.79, while deer nuts are under a buck

Score: 2

Dad: I have a lot of blind deer on my property. Son: Really? How do you know they're blind?

Dad: Well, I have no eyed deer.

Score: 10

What do you call a deer that can’t curse? I don’t buckin’ know.

Score: 4

What do you call the place that process Deer milk?..... The Dairy

Score: 1

What’s the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are $1.50 deer nuts are under a buck.

Score: 7

3 hunters walking in the woods 3 hunters are in the woods and come across a set of tracks.

Hunter 1: I think those are deer tracks!

Hunter 2: No no, those are Moose tracks!

Hunter 3: No guys, those are definitely bear tracks!

Then the train came.

Score: 1

What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are $2.50 and deer nuts are just under a buck.

Score: 12

I bought some deer leg nunchucks for $20. I said, "$20? They used to be under a buck!"

Score: 14

What's the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts? Beer nuts are 1.50 a lb, deer nuts are under a buck.

Score: 6

My 4 yrs old asked me: "'what does the deer say?" Me: "idk!"

Him: "Oh Dear!"

:/

Score: 3

Say what you will about gun rights advocates... But they really hold deer their hunting rifles.

Score: 1

What do you call a deer with no eyes? No I deer.

What do you call a deer with no eyes AND no legs?

Still no I deer.

What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs AND with a dog sitting on top of it?

Dog on it! Still no I deer!

Score: 1

Did you hear about the deer that could not be convinced to go to the tannery? It kept screaming, "I will not be suede!"

Score: 5

What meat is the cheapest? Deer balls, they are under a buck!

Score: 4

If I had a dollar for every time I’ve heard a deer joke, I’d have a buck.

Score: 17

Think Santa’s moving to Seattle this year Been seeing a lot of rein deer

Score: 6

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