Deer Jokes

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Funniest Deer Jokes

There were 3 blondes walking on a trail... The first blonde said "Those look like deer tracks!"

The second blonde said "No those are totally moose tracks... "

The third blonde said "Nope, they are goat tracks!"

Then a train hit them

Score: 1471
Funny Deer Jokes
Score: 1291

I walked into a store and noticed they were selling deer nuts for $1.25 Every other time I've seen them, they were under a buck.

Score: 1133

What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are a dollar fifty. Deer nuts are always under a buck...

I'll see myself out now.

Score: 706

I'm definitely the loser if I run over a deer. It's going to cost me hundreds of dollars. But nature is only out a buck.

Score: 684

What is the cheapest meat? Deer testicles.

They're under a Buck.

Score: 639

Whats the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts Beer nuts are $1.50 a lb. And deer nuts are under a buck.

Score: 507

What is the cheapest type of meat? Deer testicles. They're under a buck.

Score: 369

Three blondes found some tracks... The first blonde said, "Those are bear tracks!"

The second blonde said, "No, those are deer tracks!"

The third blonde said, "No those are dog tracks!"

And that was when the train hit them.

Score: 332

Why did Kim Jong-il die a week before December 25th? Because Rudolph is the only deer leader at Christmas.

Score: 181

I tortured a guy from PETA. He screamed for deer life.

Score: 158

What's the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts? Beer nuts are $1.29 a bag.

Deer nuts are just under a buck.

Score: 143

Two deer walk out of a bar. One turns to the other in disgust and says, "I can't believe you blew 20 bucks in there."

Score: 139

Why did the elk cry at the funeral? He had lost a deer friend

Score: 104

What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? You can get one beer nut for $1.35, but two deer nuts are just under a buck

Score: 102

Three Blondes Three blondes are hiking in the woods when they see some tracks.

1st blonde: Look guys, deer tracks!

2nd blonde: No, stupid, they're wolf tracks!

3rd blonde: You guys are both dumb, they're clearly bear tracks!

Then they got hit by a train.

Score: 90

What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are $3.99 and deer nuts are under a buck.

Score: 63

What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are $1.59/pound, while deer nuts are under a buck.

Score: 62

What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are a buck fifty and deer nuts are always under a buck

Score: 61

What are the cheapest kind of nuts? Deer nuts, they're under a buck.

Score: 60

What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are a $1.70 a packet and deer nuts are under a buck

Score: 58

Three statisticians are bow hunting in the woods and see a deer... The first shoots his arrow and misses to the right by three feet.

The second shoots and misses three feet to the left.

The third throws up his arms and yells, "We got him!"

Score: 55

What do you call 50 female pigs and 50 male deer? A hundred sows and bucks.

Score: 54

3 blondes are walking along some tracks. The first one says "hey these are bear tracks!"

The second says "no they are raccoon tracks."

The third says "no, they're deer tracks."

Then the train hit them.

Score: 53

Next time I see a dead deer on the side of the road I'm going to leave and come back dressed as Santa with a sign that says, "Help, need ride!"

Score: 53

Two blondes are walking in the forest.. They stumble upon some tracks
Blonde one says “these are deer tracks”
Blonde two says “no these are raccoon tracks”
They argue and argue until they get hit by a train...

Score: 51

Two blondes are walking in the woods. They come across some tracks. One says they are deer tracks. The other says no they are bear tracks. They were still arguing when the train hit them.

Score: 49

What's the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts? Beer Nuts are $1.50.

Deer Nuts are always under a buck.

Score: 48

Whats the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts One is $3.50 the other is under a buck.

Score: 45

What’s the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are $1.59 and deer nuts are under a buck

Score: 44

3 statisticians go hunting They see a deer. The first statistician shoots, but his shot misses by a foot to the left. The second statistician shoots, but her shot misses by a foot to the right. The third statistician says "Alright, we got it!"

Score: 37

What's the difference between beer nut and deer nuts? Beer nuts will cost you about $1.25. Deer nuts are under a buck.

Score: 28

Deer 1 notices Deer 2 is feeling sad Deer 1: what’s wrong

Deer 2: well my wife went to Vegas, and blew 50 bucks

Score: 16

What did the deer say when the sportsman asked if he wanted to go hunting? I'm game.

Score: 10

What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are a dollar twenty five, deer nuts are under a buck

Score: 7

What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye-deer! What do you call a deer with no eyes or legs? Still no eye-deer!

Score: 5

If I had a buck for every time an elk was confused for a deer... I'd have a lot of doe

Score: 4

I once paid a prostitute with my deer I got a bang for my buck

Score: 4

What did the hunter call his wife? Deer


Found this on popsicle stick so don’t judge to harshly

Score: 4

2 deer walk into a bar An hour later they walk out and one says to the other, "Man, I can't believe I blew twenty bucks in there."

Score: 3

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New Deer Jokes

With Toilet Paper about to be the standard curreny of the apocalypse, Toilet Paper Math is about to get a whole lot more complex! 1 Jumbo Roll = 3 Deer Pelts

Score: 0

What’s the difference between a brood of deer and fried maize cakes? One is a batch of fawn critters and the other is a batch of corn fritters.

Score: 0

Why do female deer have the best eye sight? Because hind sight is always 20/20

Score: 0

What do you call the place that process Deer milk?..... The Dairy

Score: 1

Say what you will about gun rights advocates... But they really hold deer their hunting rifles.

Score: 1

A biologist, a chemist and a statistician were out hunting... The biologist shoots at a deer and misses 5 feet to the left. The chemist takes a shot and misses 5 feet to the right. The statistician yells, "We got 'em!"

Score: 2

Ever heard of the pickle deer? She's a dill doe

Score: 2

What do you call an elk that can perform miracles? Deer Lord

Score: 1

So I'm in the process of house hunting... The deer population has gone out of control in my living room

Score: 2

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