Hilarious Deer Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Deer Jokes

There were 3 blondes walking on a trail... The first blonde said "Those look like deer tracks!"

The second blonde said "No those are totally moose tracks... "

The third blonde said "Nope, they are goat tracks!"

Then a train hit them

Score: 1471

Score: 1291

I walked into a store and noticed they were selling deer nuts for $1.25 Every other time I've seen them, they were under a buck.

Score: 1133

What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are a dollar fifty. Deer nuts are always under a buck...

I'll see myself out now.

Score: 706

I'm definitely the loser if I run over a deer. It's going to cost me hundreds of dollars. But nature is only out a buck.

Score: 684

What is the cheapest meat? Deer testicles.

They're under a Buck.

Score: 639

Whats the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts Beer nuts are $1.50 a lb. And deer nuts are under a buck.

Score: 507

What is the cheapest type of meat? Deer testicles. They're under a buck.

Score: 369

Three blondes found some tracks... The first blonde said, "Those are bear tracks!"

The second blonde said, "No, those are deer tracks!"

The third blonde said, "No those are dog tracks!"

And that was when the train hit them.

Score: 332

Why did Kim Jong-il die a week before December 25th? Because Rudolph is the only deer leader at Christmas.

Score: 181

I tortured a guy from PETA. He screamed for deer life.

Score: 158

What's the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts? Beer nuts are $1.29 a bag.

Deer nuts are just under a buck.

Score: 143

Two deer walk out of a bar. One turns to the other in disgust and says, "I can't believe you blew 20 bucks in there."

Score: 139

Why did the elk cry at the funeral? He had lost a deer friend

Score: 104

What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? You can get one beer nut for $1.35, but two deer nuts are just under a buck

Score: 102

Three Blondes Three blondes are hiking in the woods when they see some tracks.

1st blonde: Look guys, deer tracks!

2nd blonde: No, stupid, they're wolf tracks!

3rd blonde: You guys are both dumb, they're clearly bear tracks!

Then they got hit by a train.

Score: 90

What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are $3.99 and deer nuts are under a buck.

Score: 63

What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are $1.59/pound, while deer nuts are under a buck.

Score: 62

What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are a buck fifty and deer nuts are always under a buck

Score: 61

What are the cheapest kind of nuts? Deer nuts, they're under a buck.

Score: 60

What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are a $1.70 a packet and deer nuts are under a buck

Score: 58

Three statisticians are bow hunting in the woods and see a deer... The first shoots his arrow and misses to the right by three feet.

The second shoots and misses three feet to the left.

The third throws up his arms and yells, "We got him!"

Score: 55

What do you call 50 female pigs and 50 male deer? A hundred sows and bucks.

Score: 54

Next time I see a dead deer on the side of the road I'm going to leave and come back dressed as Santa with a sign that says, "Help, need ride!"

Score: 53

3 blondes are walking along some tracks. The first one says "hey these are bear tracks!"

The second says "no they are raccoon tracks."

The third says "no, they're deer tracks."

Then the train hit them.

Score: 53

Two blondes are walking in the forest.. They stumble upon some tracks
Blonde one says “these are deer tracks”
Blonde two says “no these are raccoon tracks”
They argue and argue until they get hit by a train...

Score: 51

Two blondes are walking in the woods. They come across some tracks. One says they are deer tracks. The other says no they are bear tracks. They were still arguing when the train hit them.

Score: 49

What's the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts? Beer Nuts are $1.50.

Deer Nuts are always under a buck.

Score: 48

Whats the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts One is $3.50 the other is under a buck.

Score: 45

What’s the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are $1.59 and deer nuts are under a buck

Score: 44

What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are $2.99, but, deer nuts are under a buck.

Score: 40

A mathematician, a physicist, and a statistician are out hunting When they spot a deer. The mathemician shoots five feet to the left and misses. The physicist shoots five feet to the right and misses. The statistician yells, "We got em!"

Score: 37

Did you hear about the prolific male deer molester? He felt like a million bucks.

Score: 20

Deer 1 notices Deer 2 is feeling sad Deer 1: what’s wrong

Deer 2: well my wife went to Vegas, and blew 50 bucks

Score: 16

I went to a brothel that took deer as payment They described it as the best bang for your buck

Score: 15

The law of averages A biologist, a chemist and a statistician are out hunting.
They spot a deer and the biologist shoots and misses left by three feet. The chemist shoots and misses right three feet. The statistician shouts "WE HIT IT !"

Score: 14

Why was the herd of well-sighted deer so smart? It was full of good eye deers.

Score: 12

I tortured a guy from PETA. He was screaming for deer life.

Score: 12

I saw some leeches on a running elk. They were hanging on for deer life.

Score: 10

What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? One costs 2 dollars, and the other is under a buck.

Score: 9

New Deer Jokes

Just been offered 8 legs of venison for £70. Is that two deer?

Score: 4

With Toilet Paper about to be the standard curreny of the apocalypse, Toilet Paper Math is about to get a whole lot more complex! 1 Jumbo Roll = 3 Deer Pelts

Score: 0

What’s the difference between a brood of deer and fried maize cakes? One is a batch of fawn critters and the other is a batch of corn fritters.

Score: 0

Why do female deer have the best eye sight? Because hind sight is always 20/20

Score: 0

What do you call the place that process Deer milk?..... The Dairy

Score: 1

My 4 yrs old asked me: "'what does the deer say?" Me: "idk!"

Him: "Oh Dear!"

:/

Score: 3

Say what you will about gun rights advocates... But they really hold deer their hunting rifles.

Score: 1

I once paid a prostitute with my deer I got a bang for my buck

Score: 4

A biologist, a chemist and a statistician were out hunting... The biologist shoots at a deer and misses 5 feet to the left. The chemist takes a shot and misses 5 feet to the right. The statistician yells, "We got 'em!"

Score: 2

I bought Deer Hunting 2 for half the price I got Deer Hunting 1... I got more bang for my buck!

Score: 3

The Butcher offered me 8 legs of venison for only $10! But for me, it was still 2 deer.

Score: 2

What do you call a deer with no eyes? I have no idear.

Score: 3

What do you call a woodland creature that takes your car without your permission? Common deer

Score: 5

What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts cost $1.39 and deer nuts are under a buck.

Score: 5

How would you journal a day on the toilet after eating venison? Deer Diarrhea...

Score: 2

Ever heard of the pickle deer? She's a dill doe

Score: 2

Why can't Pocohontas kill a deer or escape from jail? Because she doesn't have a narrow head!

My dad just made this one up at supper.

Score: 1

What's the difference between Santa Clause, Kim Jong Un, and 34 ounces of printer ink? One's a deer leader, one is a Dear Leader, and the other is a dear liter.

Score: 1

A deer walks out of a bar with a buddy He says to him "Wow... I really blew a lot of bucks in there"

His buddy looks over and replies, "That's a lot of dough."

Score: 2

What's the difference between a deer and a gallon of gas? About a buck fifty.

Score: 1

What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts will cost you $1.39.

Deer nuts are under a buck.

Score: 7

I can catch deer with either hand. I'm Bambidextrous.

Score: 6

What do you call a joke with the wrong punch line? No eye deer!

Score: 1

A biologist, a chemist, and a statistician are out hunting... The biologist shoots at a deer and misses five feet to the left. The chemist takes a shot and misses five feet to the right. The statistician yells "We got 'em!”

Score: 9

Two elks ran past me and I saw some leeches on their bodies. They were hanging on for deer life.

Score: 4

Why was the deer afraid of the rain? Because it wasn't a rein-deer!

Score: 1

What do you call a film about a female deer that's always causing dangerously high wind storms? TornaDOE

Score: 3

What do you have, when you have three female pigs and a bunch of male deer? Three sows and bucks.

Score: 3

A friend of mine is selling pretzels made from venison if anyone is interested. Don't worry about the price. It's knot deer.

Score: 2

What did the footwear salesmen do to get the deer away from his house? He shoe'd them away.

Score: 2

What do you call a deer with one eye? I have no eye deer

Score: 4

What did the selfish beaver say to the deer that asked it to help stop the flooding affecting its grazing grounds? Frankly, my deer, I don't give a dam.

Score: 4

What do you get when you combine a pickle and a deer ? A dill doe

Score: 7

What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea!

What do you call a deer with no eyes & no legs?

Score: 2

Why are deer testicles so cheap? Because they are under a buck.

Score: 2

What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? You can get beer nuts for $1.35, but two deer nuts are just under a buck.

Score: 3

What do you call a deer with a good eyesight? A good idea.

Score: 3

What do you call a blind deer I have no eye deer

Score: 1

So a deer goes to a bar with a friend After several hours they decide to call it a night.

On the drive home, the deer exclaims "Oh no!"

"What is it?" his friend asked.

"I just blew 50 BUCKS!"

Score: 1

What do you get in a deer brothel? A bang for your buck.

Score: 1

What kind of deer likes pickles? A dill doe.

Score: 5

What medication are Deer prescribed to help them sleep? Bambien.

Score: 1

What's the difference of deer nuts and beer nuts? Beer nuts are a $1.75, but deer nuts are under a buck.

Score: 2

What do you call a deer with only one eye? I have no eye-deer.

Score: 2

What did the deer say when she came out of the forest? "I'm never doing that for two bucks again."

Score: 3

To save costs, terrorists are now recruiting deer and sending them into public places strapped with suicide vests. They said, "they give you more for your buck"

Score: 1

There are four types of ticks. . . . Wood ticks.
Deer ticks.
Lyme ticks.
Poli-ticks.

Score: 1

Madame Scarlatti is attracted to Boutlaire, her new game keeper Although he professes to love her, he appears to love his game more.
for when she asked him to capture and bring her an animal as a token,
he says: "frankly, madame, I don't give a deer."

Score: 2

What do you call a buck that can't see? I have no-eye-deer!

Score: 3

What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are a dollar fifty.

Deer nuts are under a buck.

Score: 2

What do you call a deer with no eyes? No-eye-deer

What do you call a paralyzed deer with no eyes?
Still no-eye-deer

Score: 2

How are beer nuts like deer nuts? You can find a small bag of each under a buck.

Score: 2

I wasn't sure if I'd find deer out here, until... I saw a sign that said 'Fine for Hunting.'

Score: 4

I've just been offered 8 legs of venison for £25 I think it's too deer

Score: 8

If I had a buck for every time an elk was confused for a deer... I'd have a lot of doe

Score: 4

Why can't deer get marred? Because they can't elope

Score: 2

I told my wife I was making venison for dinner.. She said "oh, deer"

Score: 3